Practical Jokes

Fullmetal-Alchemist10: Sorry about the long wait! My computer went all stupid and the operating system had to be reinstalled... I also can't have AIM or MSN instant messenger anymore! (dies) If you wish to contact me, just e-mail me! I love getting random e-mails from people who like my fanfic! I might get my instant messengers back later... until then, just e-mailme! Oh, yeah, I don't want people asking me to turn my fic into a lemon because I refuse to. I already had I think three or four people ask me to change it into a lemon. My fic is rated 'T' not 'M'! No lemons! Enough of my complaining... the end of this chapter will make you go 'Aww! That's so sweet!' or something along the lines of that... Weee!

Disclaimer:I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! If I did, it would be a Yaoi... XD

Roy was procrastinating, yet again, on his paperwork. He was cleaning his windows. All of a sudden, Havoc was upside down in front of his window. Roy freaked out and snapped his fingers before he realized who it was. Lucky for Havoc, Roy didn't have his gloves on. "Hello, Colonel. How are you doing on this lovely morning?"

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW?" Roy opened up the window, smacking Havoc in the face in the process. Havoc was hanging from a bungee cord, five stores above.

"I was bored. I also wanted to see if Fullmetal was here. I was told to give him this message." Havoc handed Roy a note. "So how are you today, sir?"

Roy took the note, then growled, "Go away. Now."

Havoc shrugged, tugged on the cord he was hanging from, and saluted while he was being pulled up to the window he jumped out of. Roy put a hand to his forehead thinking, "What a way to start a day… hopefully, it'll get better."

The door then opened showing Ed with singed hair. "Kill Havoc for me, please."

Roy couldn't help but laugh. Ed's antenna was still on fire, so Roy put it out. "What happened to you?"

"Havoc decided to set my head on fire. I'm guessing he asked Al if he could go inside of him to pull the prank on me because Al was next to me walking down to your office. Next thing I know, my head was on fire. I heard laughing from inside Al that sounded an awful lot like Havoc."

"Wow, that's worse than what he did to me about ten minutes ago. He decided to visit me by bungee jumping out of a window. Oh, yeah, he told me to give you this note." Roy handed Ed the note.

Ed took it and read it. As he read it, his face went more and more into a look of disgust. "Roy, please tell me this isn't true…"

"What?" Roy took the note from Ed and looked as disgusted as Ed did. "I defiantly did not write that. I'm just wondering how they found out about us being together…"

The note said:

Dear Ed,

I want to make love to you all night long. Please come to my apartment tonight to have some fun! Bring that sexy dress with you, also. Don't worry, if you're tired in the morning, we can both take the day off and make out for the whole day.

Love,

Roy

"I hope you didn't write this! I would be scared to go near you ever again. Now can we kill Havoc?"

"No, but we can set something up that can make it look like he killed and/or maimed himself." Roy was already plotting.

Ed had a huge, evil smile on his face. "You know, maybe we shouldn't kill him, but we can just set up something really stupid like coating his office floor with super glue. Then we can push him over with a pole, or something like that, and he'll stick to the ground."

"Great idea! Let's do it! Where are we going to find all of that super glue? I already have a pole in my office so that we can push him over."

Ed stood there and thought for a moment. "I dunno, but I'm sure the homunculi will have some."

Ed then ran out of the room in search of Lust, Envy, or Wrath. Roy followed, but he wasn't running because when Havoc popped up in front of the window, Roy had smacked his knee against the windowsill.

After about five minutes, Ed and Roy had found Wrath. He didn't have anything except for a wheel of cheese. "Wrath, why do you have a wheel of cheese?"

"Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies. Maybe you can use the cheese to lure Havoc. Use it as bait so he'll go into the room. I believe Envy has super glue. He uses it a lot to cause problems for the military. I believe he's at the mall right now. He said something about having a hole in his skort and buying some new ones…" Wrath said.

"Thank you. We really appreciate it. See you later!" Ed waved to Wrath, and then ran off to the mall. Poor Roy couldn't take all the running much longer. He's used to sitting around all day, plus his knee hurt.

They go tot the mall and Roy was about to collapse. "Geez, Roy, you need to exercise more. You're slower than Al."

"Sorry, with the job of sitting in an office and signing paperwork all day, I don't have time to exercise. I don't get to go on active missions like you do."

"Well, it's not my fault that you're almost twice as old as I am!" Ed stopped for a minute and thought of something. "You know, our relationship is almost illegal… it sounds wrong saying that I like a guy that's twice as old as I am."

"Yeah, you're right… who cares? Where do you think Envy will be?" Roy walked over to the mall map to get a general idea.

Ed followed suit and saw a store called the Oroborus Shop. "I think he'll be there. Let's go!" Ed grabbed Roy's hand and ran over to the store.

Envy was in there looking at skorts. He was currently wearing a white skort, but still wearing his black belly shirt. "Hello Chibi! Hi Colonel! Why are you here?"

"Just one question before we tell you, why are you wearing a white skort?" Roy asked as Ed was yelling about the comment on his height.

"Well, I got caught on a tree resulting in my black skort ripping. The other ones got ripped to at various times. That's why I'm at this store right now looking at the skort rack… So why are you here?"

"Well, we need super glue, and lots of it. We're planning on gluing Havoc to the floor. We were hoping you had some." Roy was looking at the few random things in the store.

"I have super glue, but it wouldn't be very effective. That stuff dries fast, too fast to pull off something like that. You should look for a sticky rug. I believe they sell them in the hardware store next to the mall. You lay it down like a carpet and it's sticky like duct tape. It's really cheap to because nobody wants a sticky floor. About $10 a square yard. Can I help though?" Envy smiled.

"Sure, why not? You're been a big help so far. Maybe you can help us some more. Just finish getting your clothes, you look weird in white." Roy beckoned Ed to him. "Ed, you don't need anything from the mall, right?"

"Nope, I don't need anything. Can we go now?"

"Wait a minute for Envy. He's going to help us. Don't give me that face, he's been really helpful so far."

Ed crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. "I don't like Envy. If it was possible, I would like him to die and burn in hell."

"I heard that!" Envy yelled at Ed while he was making his purchases.

"Good! I hate you! Go away!" Ed took Roy's hand and dragged him out of the store. Envy followed with his bag and an annoyed look on his face.

The made it over to the hardware store and bought the carpet. Then the made their way to the office building. Roy thought if was best to put the trap in Havoc's office since Havoc is obviously in there a lot. Envy had to disguise as Fury so no one would suspect a thing.

The got to Havoc's office and saw Fury in there. Envy quickly changed his form to Farman so that Fury wouldn't be freaked out. Poor Ed was carrying the giant roll of sticky carpet, almost falling over from the weight and height of it. Fury left, but not without looking at Roy, Ed and "Farman" weirdly. "Okay, the coast is clear! We have to do this quickly before Havoc comes back." Roy ran in followed by Ed and Envy.

Ed dropped the carpet onto the ground and rolled it out. There was a wax paper sheet to make sure the carpet wasn't sticky until you peeled the paper off. The three of them pulled the paper off, but in the wrong direction. They got themselves trapped in a corner. "Wow. We're stupid. We should've started at the other side of the room. Not at the door!" Ed slapped Roy upside the head because Roy was the one that started to peel it in the first place.

There were right by a window, but about ten stories off the ground. "Well, we could jump out of the window…"

"I'm sorry Roy, but I can't fly!" There was a table next to them and Ed started hitting Roy with a book that was on the table.

Envy just rolled his eyes and changed back to his normal form. Then he slapped both of them and said, "Beating each other isn't going to help, no matter how amusing it is. Maybe Ed could transmute a ladder outside the window and climb down. Either that, or Ed could transmute a path and put it back after we get through."

Both of them froze and just blinked at Envy's smartness. "I can't believe I didn't think of that…" Ed clapped his hands and transmuted a path across the room. After they got through, Ed transmuted it back. Then they saw that Havoc had just go to the top of the stairs and coming their way.

Roy hissed in Ed's ear, "I forgot to bring the pole so I could push him over!"

"Crap… Envy! Turn into a lightbulb!"

"Wha? ...okay." Envy then turned into Lightbulb!Envy.

Ed grabbed Lightbulb!Envy and rand down the hall so Havoc wouldn't see them. When he went into his office, he started cursing because he was stuck to the floor. Ed and Roy ran back down the hall to see Havoc with his feet stuck to the floor. Then, Ed took Lightbulb!Envy and flung it at Havoc's head, causing Envy to bounce off and get stuck to the floor as well. Havoc lost his balance and had his face stuck to the floor.

Envy changed back and he was on his back, stuck to the floor. "Ed you idiot! You didn't tell me you were going to throw me!"

"Oops! Did I forget to mention that?" Ed said sarcastically. "Let's go, Roy. It'll take a while until they will be able to get up. The stickiness should wear off in a week…"

As they were leaving they heard Havoc yelling, "MI HAFF MO MEE!" the translation of that was "I HAVE TO PEE!"

Then they heard Envy yell, "DON'T GO IN HERE!"

"I'd have to say that was a lot of fun, although you should really do something about your hair…" Roy poked Ed's burnt antenna.

"No! Don't poke it! It might… break off…" As Ed was saying that, most of his antenna broke off and fell to the floor.

Roy gasped and said, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that!"

Ed sighed and said, "Its okay, it'll grow back… It'll just take a few weeks…"

They walked back into Roy's office and found a new stack of paperwork on top of the stack of old papers. "You know, I didn't join the military to sign papers all day!"

Ed felt sorry for Roy, so he jumped into his arms and hugged him. Ed looked up and smiled at Roy saying, "Its okay, I could help you. All you have to do is sign your name. I'll fill everything else out. You'll probably have to fill out more paperwork for the little prank we pulled…"

"Thanks, but I'm not sure how much you would be able to fill out, but I'm defiantly not looking forward to filling out the extra paperwork." Roy then kissed Ed on the top of his head, and then headed over to his desk to start his paperwork.

Ed sat next to him filling out the paperwork. "I'm so happy I don't need to do this everyday…"

Roy looked at Ed with a face of slight hate and said, "I would be a whole lot happier if I got to do more active missions like you… in fact, I don't even do missions that much."

"Well, maybe they'll let you come with me next time if I ask. Although, I'm not sure if you would be able to keep up…" Ed smirked.

Roy sighed and said, "Hey! My knee hurt this morning! I would've been faster if it wasn't for that!" There were a few minutes of silence except for the scratching of pens. Then Roy said, "You know, I just thought of something. We've liked each other for this long, but neither of us has asked each other out."

"You're right… we just started liking each other all of a sudden, but we actually aren't going out with each other… how strange."

Roy then cleared his throat and said in a slightly stupid voice, "Edward, will you go out with me?"

Ed followed suit with the stupid voice and said, "Oh yes, Roy, I shall." Then they burst out laughing.

A few hours later, they quite a bit accomplished with a few laughs along they way, but Ed's shift is over before Roy's so Ed was going to go back to his apartment. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Ed walked towards the door to leave, stopped at the door, and turned around. Then he ran towards Roy, leaned over they desk, kissed Roy on the lips, said "I love you!" and ran out.

Roy just sat there stupefied, wondering what just happened. Then he muttered, "I love you, too," and went back to his work.

Fullmetal-Alchemist10: I hoped you liked that! If you didn't then just stop reading this fic now because you obviously don't like shounen-ai/yaoi... The next chapter Ed gets bored and decides to have a party! (I already started writing it...) The next chapter should be out really soon!

Edit: I forgot to add this, but the Lightbulb!Envy was an idea taken from a Crack!Fic that I read. Oh, yeah. If you want to e-mail me, my address is in my profile! Just go there and click on the e-mail thingy... if for some reason you can't obtain it, I'll re-type it in my profile because I can't post it here...

To the ever shrinking number of reviewers! (cries)

AnimeDutchess: The Corpse Bride was wonderful! I loved the movie! I know of a wonderful site were you can download the whole FMA series! Anyone can e-mail me if they want the site!

Cathelina: Roy almost got killed when he went back to his room... poor guy. Riza would never actually kill him though...

Aeralis: Well, I hoped you like Ed kissing Roy on the lips I mean you spazed when Ed kissed him on the cheek... It's ok that you didn't review... My chapters keep on getting longer and longer... I'll just eventually have like 5000 word chapters (dies)... o well, I'll continue this fic as long as people still like it!

SesshyGirlFluffy: (falls over) AHH! CAPS ATTACK! It's wonderful that you don't hate me but the caps can kill...