A/N:

I don't own JKR's characters, only my own, and any references to musicians and thier lyrics are strictly in homage.

This is somewhat a different style for me, making up characters, but hey, I just had to put my teenage self among the Marauders. Don't we all wish we were there?

If you don't like swear words, mild drug use, slash or threesome action, run away screaming now. If you do, please read (and review if you feel like it).

"SNAPE SLIGHTED"

Her name was Serena-Rose. Serena-Rose Aldebaran. And she threw the Marauders for a loop in our seventh year. She was an exchange student from California, one of our own going to her previous institution Skyline School of Sorcery. Dumbledore informed us at the start-of-term feast that she'd been sorted into Gryffindor, privately, to finish her final year with us and had that damnable twinkle in his eye (I could swear that he was looking straight at us) as he did so. She was an unknown quantity and we were all curious.

We soon found out that she was unlike any girl we had ever (or would ever have) known. After that welcome back feast, she made the Gryffindor Quidditch team as a Beater. She out-flew the competition at the try-outs hands down, no question in anybody's minds and had accuracy and aim no one had ever seen except for in professional athletes. She took the place of Chris Cornell and he ended up being the only bloke that wasn't enthralled by her. Of course, most of the girls weren't so keen on her; seeing how her good looks, talent and novelty were entrancing the guys they'd been trying to get the attention of for years….

But it wasn't just that. It was like those Bob Dylan lyrics, 'so easy to look at, so hard to define'. She presented an enigma: She was totally one of the guys—she cussed like a sailor, played like a demon, open and honest to a fault when talking and joking about sex, but was at the same time completely a beautiful woman. She had curves (36-24-36 she'd informed us proudly at some point), a thousand different smiles, wild wavy hair spanning every natural color, a scent of roses that wafted off her skin, a softness to her voice and some indefinable wily knowledge that forever played behind her pink lips and round, forest-green eyes. We would soon come to unravel part of that mystery….

That's how it started with us. The Marauders, well James and Sirius at first, allowed her to hang with us to talk strategy about Quidditch. But then she gravitated toward us more and more and eased into our circle, quickly getting the mark of each one of us rather precisely. Peter was continually trying to bring her into our conversations, blushing and stammering the whole way, and she indulged him affectionately, (albeit somewhat distant, always keeping herself gently unattainable to him).

In the beginning, she asked me all about school rules, homework and the library (later on, we had many truly deep and meaningful conversations). At first, I treated her as any other girl but soon knew this was a strange case. I found myself becoming attracted to her despite my strong feelings for Sirius.

She was quiet enough during the day, studying along with me, but she had a point where she slacked off at night, enjoyed some recreational drugs and was just as rowdy as James and Sirius. When asked, she said, "I play by the rules enough to not get caught and succeed at the game, but then have as much fun as I can within the constraints." This earned some genuine whooping from James and Sirius (with Peter whimpering and pulling at his robes, his crush deepening).

Then, one day something happened that changed everything. Severus Snape had glided up to our table as we were finishing lunch, about a week after her arrival. With a slimy sneer on his thin lips, he towered over her clearly trying to intimidate her. "Why do you think you should associate with anyone of such questionable breeding and behavior? These….uh… people ?-- for lack of a better word."

The two boldest Marauders plunged their hands into their robes at the same time and froze, gripping their wands. James and Sirius were completely ready to answer and tell him off, but Serena-Rose beat them to it.

"Well," she started slowly, eyes narrowed, surveying him up and down. "Maybe I find them amusing, interesting, worth my time…." She then dismissively turned back to her book. Snape did not leave and continued to stare her down. The Marauders watched eagerly to see what would unfold, prepared to jump to her defense at the first sign of trouble.

"Why are you still in my face?" She glanced up at the greasy-haired, sallow-faced boy.

"You don't want to make friends with the wrong sort," he hissed. Sirius and James gripped their wands tighter. I remained somewhat shielded by my book while Peter tried to shrink smaller behind us.

"I think I know for myself what the wrong sort is." She answered coolly and went back to her book, her thumb twiddling on the page.

"Why you insolent little American!" He spat out the last part as if it was a swear word.

"How perceptive of you, Snivellus, yes, American. A whole group of people who sailed across an entire ocean to make a new country to get away from the persecuting bullshit of people such as yourself." She returned to her book, and the Marauders looked at each other with surprise. There was admiration in our expressions.

"Our country doesn't need anymore filthy half-bloods like you!" Anger flashed in his dark eyes.

"No, of course not, when they've got plenty of their own ignorant half-bloods, like you." She shrugged as if bored, almost like she knew that not getting riled up would be the one reaction to most incite his ire.

"You can try to ignore me, Aldebaran," his face pinched in flushed fury, "But you'll be sorry."

"Ah, alas, no. I don't think so little man." She said nonchalantly still studying her book. People around us were beginning to stare at the confrontation too.

"So you take what all these…." He gestured to us, "pathetic losers tell you and—"

"They've told me nothing Snivellus, I have my own mind. We've only all just met, though I think I may know something about you they don't yet."

"And I'm supposed to be scared of you? A little ill-bred foreign twat of a witch?"

"Huh." She uttered, amused. "No, not scared per se, we wouldn't want you to go back to pissing the bed like you did-- until you were twelve…."

I think this may have been the first time any of us had seen Snape at a complete loss for words and insults. I know it was the only time I'd ever seen him blush deep purple in embarrassment. Usually he got paler and paler in his anger when dealing with us. He was tight-lipped and trembling, making the greasy curtains of his hair twitch. The crowd that had gathered around to witness this altercation was collectively holding its breath in both delight and horror of what might happen.

"Helluva tough break, really," she continued in a mock sympathetic tone now that she'd successfully shut him up, "to finally stop wetting your sheets at night from a weak piddly bladder only to start messing 'em by creamin' 'em."

He stood and glared at her icily, chest heaving and nostrils flaring, then swooped away with his robes billowing out behind him. "Bet you he learned cleaning spells in a hurry…." She remarked with a straight face as her eyes followed his hastily retreating back. There was a stunned silence and then the Great Hall erupted in laughter.

James actually fell to the floor and started rolling around, clutching his sides as he wheezed, "Fuck! Did you see the look on that greasy git's face?" Sirius was pounding his fist onto the table, tears streaming down his face as his whole body shook beyond his usual barks, and kept repeating, "Bloody brilliant," over and over. Peter too, laughing and looking at Serena-Rose in awe with the rest of us but with a bit more lust in his eyes. I had to admit, it rivaled, maybe even surpassed anything we'd done to Snape. And it was THAT which made Serena-Rose Aldebaran an honorary member of the Marauders.