Disclaimer: Not mine.
Everyone has that thing they fear the most. Sometimes it's related to something we've witnessed in our lives or something that happened to us. Be it confined in a small space, or burning to death. Everyone has something that makes them wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, crying out, or just scared, wanting for someone to hold them. Make the fear go away.
I'm afraid of becoming my father.
Of dying like he did. Giving in like he did.
But mostly, that if I were to ever have kids... if I ever gave in... I wouldn't want them to find me. Hell, I wouldn't want them to lose me, but mostly, I wouldn't want them to find me.
And the nightmares that wake me, they're just the passing moments of fear. The conscious moments that leave me awake the rest of the night, staring at bloodstained hands.
They're just in passing and I can brush them off in time.
But the fear... the fear stays. It always stays.
It doesn't pass.