As I travel along the French countryside, I look out the window at the passing fields. Acres and acres of vineyards... grapes being grown like a crop, like corn or wheat or soybeans. it seems that all of the south of the country is like this... oh, so different from the city that I make my home.

I return to the States on Wednesday. A week from now. I will be sad to go, but glad to be back in a land where my native tongue is spoken. I'm actually not sure how I feel about going back to my usual life. I have become so relaxed over here; lazy even. But when the wine is good and the food is even better and the sun shines down warm on your face, how can you not give in to its calming qualities.

But I am Otto Octavius, I have a job to do, a purpose in life. I am a brilliant scientist and inventor, I am the Master of the Atom, and I am Spider-Man's greatest foe, his worse nightmare. It is my place and my place alone to expose him, to uncover him, to take off his mask and let all the world see the little twerp that is their hero.

And, yet, part of me asks, is that important? If he's no threat to me, should I still care about being a threat to him? Should I give him the honor of caring about his life when he no longer cares about my own?

I have been gone for a month now. I told only a few close friends where I would be. Certainly he has searched for me by now, swinging from rooftop to rooftop, long, sleepless nights, searching for me, wondering what dastardly deed I would be up to next. Only lovers search for each other, seek each other out with the dedication and perserverence and, dare I say, passion, that the bitterest of enemies such as ourselves have and use.

At one point, I actually respected The Bug. I realize what he does. I recognize the sacrifices he makes. I know that his job is not easy, what with his other enemies, some of them my former (and perhaps future, though I doubt it) colleagues, let alone all the general thugs and miscreants of this insane city. I even saved his life once. But I have changed. I am a new man, a different man. Only time will tell if I am a better man.

Perhaps I can let him go. Move on with my life. He has been nothing but a thorn in my side, interfering with my plans since shortly after the accident. At first, I merely wanted him to let me live my life in peace. Then it was me wanting to make him pay for all the times he ruined my plans. But as of late it has been a pure bitter hatred for the man (if you can call him that), wanthing him exposed, ruined, dead.

Once I respected him.
...once... I respected him.

Now I just want him dead.

Hmm.
Perhaps I can go back to before. But, you know, they say you can never go back to before.

You can never go back to before.

-O.