Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Angel, just Sienna and Ashiria.
Things you need to know before I start:
Italics - thoughts of characters
" " - things said by characters
( ) - things I put in to help you if you are confused….or just my random comments (or not so random, depends)
Thanks oh so very much to those of you who have reviewed. I really appreciate it.
Note: This story starts between 'Dead End' and 'Belonging' so no Connor stuff has happened yet.
Chapter 4:
Angel finally tore his gaze away from his little girl. I still can't believe I have a daughter. "We need to give her a proper burial," observed Angel, his eyes not wavering away from Ashiria for a second.
"Angel has a very good point," Wesley put in.
"Wouldn't want anyone to find a dead body here either, 'cause that would just be bad," said Fred, her brows furrowed in what was obviously thought.
"Plus, it's definitely on the creepy side, the corpse just lying on the bed," observed Gunn.
"She deserves it, at the very least. After all she was through and the delivery, and the pregnancy, and bringing her back, and the pain, and...," Angel's voice was rising higher and higher, faster and faster as he spoke, not even having heard a word anyone else said, going from whispering to a voice of shill panic, with guilt threaded in until he was cut off by Cordy.
"Angel, hey, calm down, I know this is all a bit unnerving, but losing your head probably won't help very much, either physical or metaphorical. One step at a time," Cordy said with a smile, attempting humor, she paused, and continued since Angel remained silent, staring at the body on the bed, "the first step being, where are we going to bury her?"
"We could bury her in the garden," suggested Wesley.
"I have a huge pink quartz rock we could put on the grave," supplied Fred.
"Yeah, and there's a big ass headstone in the basement and I'm sure I could find something to carve a message in it," piped in Gunn.
"Excellent ideas. See, Angel, now we're getting somewhere."
Angel just kept sitting there, on the chair, staring at Ashiria's body while holding sleeping Sienna. "Right, so everyone knows their duty, so off with you."
"Hey! Cordelia, I'm the boss, I give the commands," puffed Wesley.
"In that case, forget everything I said and you give the directions."
"Um, so, what she said," said Wesley meekly, ignoring Cordy's smirk. So, off everyone went, gathering the things needed.
2 and ½ hours later
Everyone was gathered in the garden, in front of the grave and huge pink quartz marking it (which was literally half the size of a pick up truck). Several feet in front of the rock stood a headstone placed flat on the ground, buried just to the edges so it wouldn't break free but it was still readable. On the headstone the words 'Beloved friend', 'Sweet mother', and 'kind, passionate, loyal, thoughtful of others, caring, beautiful, intelligent, and accepting' were engraved, as well as 'Died April 2, 2001' (they did not know her birthday so they could only write the date of her death). Their private ceremony had just ended and everyone was staring thoughtfully at the grave. Gunn was the first to break the silence.
"Anyone up for some chow, 'cause I'm starved." Everyone but Angel (still having never put down Sienna, so she was still in his arms) nodded their heads in agreement. Angel just continued to stand there, staring at the headstone, unblinking, as everyone turned to go inside.
Cordy noticed this and walked back over, placing her hand on his shoulder, and asked, "Angel, you gonna be alright?"
"Yeah Cordy, I'll go inside in a minute to join you."
"Ok, but remember, I'll always be available if you need someone to talk to. Even if you aren't good with the whole talking and sharing feelings deal."
"Thanks, Cordelia, I'll remember that," replied Angel, still not even turning his head or blinking as he continued to stare at the fresh grave. Cordy then removed her hand and went inside to figure out breakfast plans (no one had gone to sleep that night) with the others.
Angel continued staring for another five minutes, but then he was interrupted by a tiny cry. Angel turned his attention to the infant in his arms. "You must be hungry, sweetie, let's work on getting you something to eat too," Angel cooed, his features softening. So he turned and headed back into the Hyperion, towards the bickering that could probably be heard up the street.
"Guys, guys, guys. What's going on?"
"Well, since you cannot cook breakfast, we are trying to decide where to go out to eat," replied Cordelia reasonably, "but some people have horrible taste in restaurants," she exclaimed, turning her gaze towards Gunn.
"I can cook."
"No!" everyone shouted in unison turning their attention back to Angel.
"It's just that, well, you've been through a lot in the past several hours and..."
"And you think that cooking breakfast would be too much for me? Is that it Wesley?" asked Angel with one eyebrow raised suspiciously.
"No, no, that's not it at all. It's just that you deserve a break from the swing of things, that's all."
"Ah, so I get a break and my credit card gets a workout."
"Yep," exclaimed Cordelia happily.
Angel sighed and chuckled slightly. "There is something, or rather someone you are forgetting that doesn't look quite human."
"Oh, forgot about that," said Cordy softly, "but no problem, Wesley and I can go pick up some food, 'cause I don't trust Gunn, as well as some baby formula, which Wesley would have no clue about which one to get, and we can bring them back here and have a nice breakfast together. Fred can stay with you, as well as Gunn, we won't be too long," Cordy exclaimed brightening.
"Don't forget some diapers and stuff," reminded Angel as he handed Cordelia a wad of cash.
"We won't." With that Cordy and Wes were out the door, leaving Fred, Gunn, and Angel (holding Sienna still) sitting on the couch in silence.
Forty minutes later, in walked Cordy and Wes. Wes was carrying all the bags. "Angel, were back!" chimed Cordy.
"So I see."
"It's about time girl; we had all but given up hope. Though you did walk in just in time 'cause Angel was starting to look pretty appetizing, and that's saying something," announced Gunn with a smirk, while helping Wesley with the bags, and Cordelia made an ick face and gagged.
"Hey! I resent that."
"Course you do Angel, now let's eat and get Sienna fixed up," replied Gunn cheerily, "nothing's getting between me and my grub at the moment."
With that, Angel went to check the bags, with Sienna still in his arms, while everyone else got things set and ready for breakfast. He pulled out a bottle, some formula, a whole lot of diapers, some wipes, some baby powder, tearless shampoo for babies, some lavender scented soap (which was apparently for Sienna as well), a rattle, a cute little teddy bear, a pacifier, several baby pajamas, a whole lot of tiny outfits, some baby shoes, some baby blankets, a few tiny pillows, some footies, and tiny bits of jewelry. How am I not surprised at this. She's not even a day old yet and she already owns jewelry. He then noticed the disassembled crib beside the bags. Looks like she went all out. No wonder they took so long. "Well, looks like we have everything you need, and then some," cooed Angel to the infant in his arms. Angel then pulled out a diaper from the bag of diapers.
Back at the table, everyone was about to start eating. "Angel, are you coming this century, because we may not be alive when you decide to join us if not," shouted Cordy into the other room.
"Just a second," answered Angel, exasperated.
"Who here wants to bet that Angel is attempting the diaper thing and failing miserably?" piped in Gunn. At that everyone's hand shot up in agreement.
"I'll go help him," Cordy said as she stood up and headed into the other room. "Angel, do you need help?"
Angel was twisting the diaper out of sorts, every direction, clearly having no idea whatsoever what he was doing. "No, Cordy, I'm fine thanks," he replied distractedly.
"Oh, shut it Angel and set your manly pride issues aside. See the strange faces the baby is making, even she knows you have no idea what you are doing."
"She isn't making any faces..."
Cordelia just ignored him, slid behind him and put her hands on his. She then guided him through the process. "See, now that's how you change a diaper."
"I knew that," exclaimed Angel defiantly.
"Right and my brother is Brad Pitt."
"Wow! He is? You never told me that."
Cordelia just shook her head sadly. "If Sienna turns out anything like her father, we'll be in big trouble." With that she turned towards the direction of the kitchen.
"Hey! I resent that."
Cordelia just ignored him and asked, her back still turned from Angel, "Is Sienna going to eat, or is she going to starve to death?" She knew she hit a nerve there.
"Oh! Sienna, she hasn't eaten, and she should have, like a long time ago. I'm so sorry Sienna. Let's go eat now. I promise you can eat before I do." They then headed into the kitchen, Cordelia behind Angel, smiling.
"You finally got Angel in here?" Gunn asks shocked, and looks down at himself, then Wesley, Fred, and Cordy, "and we're not old? Wow, it's a miracle!"
"Shut up Gunn."
Gunn smirked at Angel. Angel sat down with Sienna in one arm and a bottle with formula in the other, then started lifting the bottle to Sienna's tiny mouth. "Angel, you do know that needs to be heated before you give it to her, right?"
"Um, yeah, of course, I knew that," exclaimed Angel, quickly putting a lot of space between the bottle and the infant's mouth."
"I thought as much. Here, hand me the bottle, I'll heat it up." Cordy took the bottle from Angel, and headed over to the microwave. Cordelia chuckled. How am I not surprised. Angel pulled Sienna as close to him as he could without hurting her. "So, Angel are we ever going to get to hold her?" Angel apparently didn't hear her, and just kept staring into the big aqua blue eyes.
"I'm really starting to doubt it," said Gunn with a sigh.
The microwave beeped and Cordelia checked the temperature of the milk. She then held it out to Angel. Angel just sat there and continued to stare into Sienna's eyes. "Angel, hello? Anyone home in there?"
Angel's head shot up in surprise, "Oh, yeah... thanks," he takes the bottle awkwardly and slowly puts the bottle up to Sienna's mouth. She opened her mouth and moved her tiny hands around the bottle, and started sucking. Her eyes flickered slightly. This gained an 'awe' from everyone but Angel. Angel, just stared into the aqua blue eyes with love, adoration, and a smile (yes, that was not a typo, Angel was actually smiling).
"Angel, you're smiling, and it's scaring me more than Angelus ever could. Wow, Sienna is a miracle worker and she's not even a day old," Cordy noted with a smile. Angel remained unfazed, he didn't even blink.
Late that night:
Angel sat on the couch holding sleeping Sienna. I can't believe this miracle, it's too good to be true. I have a baby girl. I don't deserve her, especially after the things I did. But I have her any way. Sienna is truly amazing. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up to find this all an amazing dream, but hope with every fiber of my being that I don't. If this really is a dream, I never want to wake up, I don't care about anything else. I feel this deep pull inside, like I need to hold her and never, and I mean NEVER let go. I can't remember ever loving anything as much as I love her. Truthfully, if I had to choose between saving Buffy's and Sienna's lives, I would choose Sienna, hands down. Though, I would try to save them both. Something is wrong here, nothing ever goes this good, no always bad. All I care about now, though is taking care of my little girl. My little girl? God, I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Cordelia walked down the stairs and over to the couch, Angel didn't notice.
"So, um, Angel, Wesley and Gunn are having a hard time putting together the crib. Plus, there's a few minor injuries involved, so it looks like Sienna will have to sleep with you tonight. Real tragedy I know," stated Cordy sarcastically. Angel jumped slightly at Cordelia's voice, but kept his gaze on Sienna. "Also Wesley, Gunn, and I should stay (Fred lives there so I felt no need to mention her) to make sure nothing of the 'I'm scary and I want your baby' variety show up."
"Ok, that's fine," said Angel, distractedly. Cordy just smiled and enjoyed the tender moment. God, he must love her so much. I don't think any of us could even imagine how much. This is the only child he can ever have. It was a fluke, but a good one. Angel is just so sweet towards Sienna, it's memorizing.
"Cordy, I'm going to head up to bed, both Sienna and I could use it," Angel noted, heading towards the stairs then up them. Cordelia just stood still in her spot for a moment, then followed suit. Angel arrived in his room, to find one corner full of bags, and a half assembled crib next to Angel's bed. Angel looked into Sienna's eyes, "Well, come on, let's go to bed, my little one." Angel kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed and under the covers with Sienna in his arms, not even bothering to change. Angel watched Sienna silently, watching her eyes flutter closed. Within minutes the infant was asleep. Angel stared at his newborn daughter for a few moments longer, then allowed himself to drift off to sleep.
TBC: More Angel/Sienna cuteness on the way, Wolfram&hart find out about Sienna (duh, duh, duh).
By the way, is it just me or did you guys find it hard to believe that Angel knew exactly what to do when it came to baby Connor? So, I wrote things that I thought were more likely to occur. I really appreciate reviews, so if you have the time, please help me out. If you flame, then please let me know what was bad, so I'll know where to improve.