Hello… I declare that I have my own copy of Soul Calibur 2 but I own nothing of the game… Damn it…. DAMN YOU NAMCO…. –Breathes heavily- On With the show!
Night of the living Weirdness
Still in the RV, our beloved heroes, foes and three mean looking French fries which seemed to be conspiring for World Domination were waiting for further communication from the Shadowy Shadow of the Shadows of Doom. Still, the French fry presence was a mystery to the entire crew.
"Raph… Talk to them!" Desperately whispered Cervantes as he leaned away from the tough looking fries. Raphael simply looked at him while he schemed a way to keep away from the McDonald's rejects.
"Why me?" Asked Raphael leaning back.
"Because you are French… Du'h!" Said Yunsung looking at him with the most challenging of raised brows.
"That just makes no sense…" Replied he whom spoke the language of love.
"This whole thing makes no sense to me!" Uttered a frustrated Cassandra as she applied some Eye drops to Charade. The before mentioned limited to blink repeatedly at Cassandra.
"You may be right, my beloved eye…" Said Cassandra. Nobody dared to say anything because maybe she spoke Morse code for eyelids or something. She had long conversations with Charade. Talim looked at her a little confused but decided not to even get started or she was going to get lost in translation, and yet anyways she was too busy editing the footage from Wal-Mart and syncing it to the lyrics of the Song 'Wild Thing'… so she was VERY busy. Ivy on her side was just crossing a leg and watching everything in despair. She just couldn't get through her head both the idea of Raphael startling so many people and those being Siegfried's ideas, a German and a French working together for Human Horror… The world was coming to an end. And as she thought about it, in came Siegfried/Nightmare from the RV's Cockpit… (Why is it named like that?)
"Ohh… French Fries…" He happily said as he took the mean looking fries on his hand.
"Vive La Resistance…" The Fries yelled before they proceeded to be engulfed by the staving German.
"Sieggy…. NOOOOOOOOO…-yelled Maxi as he looked at his reflection in the rear mirror. Still, his Cover Girl mirror was in Yoshi's hat.- OOOOO…. God I'm sexy…. NOOOOO…." Continued Maxi with an exaggerated expression of huge tragedy.
"Knock it off already you Ultramarine Drama Queen… They were just French Fries…." Taki said sighing and folding her arms over her chest to produce a serious seizure on Yunsung. A drool induced seizure, who knew someone could be almost 30 and look as hot as Inferno in a summer day….
"But, they were mean French Fries… - Said Yunsung after regaining contact with his brain cells (Or not)….- What if they had a French Fry version of a Mafia family and now we are all going to get killed?" Talim raised a brow and simply decided to ignore.
"Mean Fries?" Asked Mitsurugi as he raised a brow and looked astonished at the young warrior and his hybrid theories.
"Just smile and nod Samurai… and the world shall open to you widely with colors never meant to exist…." Kilik said with an understanding and very wise tone as Mitsurugi looked at him with wide eyes. The hair defying samurai received as a reply a huge smile from Kilik, shaking his head in denial, Mitsurugi sighed.
"Enlightened words my boy…"
"What were they going to do….? Drown us in Fancy Ketchup?" Continued the argument between Taki and Yunsung… and in any other case anyone would have ignored him because they thought he was just in that phase of life where Teens want to piss everyone off… which is very fun to do, by the way. But Taki was not up to it….
"They could have…" Said Yunsung staring at the floor and scratching the back of his head. Siegfried just blinked…. All that argument for 3 French Fries… 3 FRENCH FRIES, strayed, alone and naked there in the cold and bitter world and he gave them a home in his tummy and nobody was happy about it. They were saying they were gangsta' fries which were going to shoot them with Heinz Ketchup semi-automatics. He could even picture the fries saying… 'Say hello to my little friend…' And shooting them with a Ketchup dispenser.
"Mmmm…. Heinz!" Said Sieggy the Mighty in a bliss.
"I think we lost him…" Said Yoshimitsu shinning for everyone. Talim just took a pic of the thing… Not often they got to see Siegfried Schtauffen/Nightmare in one of those holly space-out attacks. Might as well make a memento of the thing.
"I think so…. - Said Maxi while lounging in the couch of the RV. - … And I am sexy!"
"We know me Lad… Yarg!" Said Cervy sitting where the French Fry Mafia used to sit. Ivy just sighed…. Nothing made any sense anymore Talim stood up and went to Yoshimitsu.
"Here Maxi boy… FETCH!" She said throwing the mirror and Maxi caught it and proceeded to adore himself a little more and admire his metrosexual beauty. And just then the communication system of the RV came up.
"Well Hello…. - Said Shady… Ivy simply pouted, when she thought things couldn't get worse… the shady one came along. - I have a new challenge for you… You have to spend the night in a haunted house … if you win…" Shady (Let's name it Shady and keep up with our lives) was interrupted by happy looking souls.
"We get the envelope and our lives back…?" Asked Cassandra with bright eyes and almost floating like a helium balloon while Charade placed a string in her ankle and held her from floating out of the window.
"Silly Cassy… that's just for me…- Said Shady in that Trix commercial tone and Cassandra stopped floating and descended like a busted balloon. – You guys get a prize…"
"What Prize…?" Asked Taki as she looked astonished at how Maxi confessed his love for himself.
"That's a surprise – Said Shady. - Then again, Please footage and You have till dawn…" It said with a very grave tone to then make the screen go to a Shield like logo swirling over and over again. The souls simply sighed as they saw the R V stop in front of a huge house. As they stopped from the Cockpit came out a being the size of Talim covered in a black cloak and having on hand a small box. Ivy took the box and stood ion the doorway as the cloaked thingy disappeared.
"So… Here we are…." She said as she looked at the box, opening it she found a Digital Camera and handed it to Talim. Everyone started going out in a nice line and walked to the gates where a huge house was seen from between weeds and shrubs. The house looked creepy enough to be scarier than Nighty's Verizon Wireless Sponsored castle, and just as they looked and walked through the shrub infested driveway, a lighting hit right behind the house and a Maniacal laughter echoed.
"Siegfried-san!" Screamed Talim holding on to the Height defied German.
"Ist Tut mir leid (I am so sorry), Babe… I couldn't resist" Siegfried said clearing his throat.
"Well performed Lad…" Encouraged Cervantes the blonde Maniac.
"Danke Cervy…." Said Sieg as he looked at Talim leave him and walk to Yunsung to fix up the Digital Camera she needed to use to record all that happened in the Haunted House.
"I hope this isn't one of those killer houses that feed on Souls…" Cassandra told Charade as she held the hand of the weapon and handing it a white board he usually used to communicate with the Non-Cassandra people.
"Like Rose Red?" Wrote Charade.
"Whoosh… (Wow…. Stephen King….)" Replied Voldo.
"Come on….- Gasped Maxi rolling his eyes.- Sieggy the Mighty there feeds on souls and you are not scared of him…. Of course he's a dwarf and I am sexy but nobody is perfect…." Siegfried simply looked at him wide eyed and while they walked to the entrance of the house and dodged a few more shrubs in the process.
"Yeah, Nighty… you should consider a change in your diet. I read somewhere that souls are very low in proteins…" Yunsung said as he caught a shrub and posed for the camera Talim was holding with it.
"Maybe he should eat more carbs… since he has that 'Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie thing going…" Argued Cassandra as she watched Voldo battling with some shrubs that were in the way to the House's door.
"A… Ara(Huh)?- Asked Talim looking at the Blushed German- Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie?"
"Yeah, You know kid…. - Continued Ivy- The 'I am misunderstood and need a hug but please don't touch me or I will be forced to kill you' thing… It is very common and popular between Germans… I think it's a German thing." Ivy said as she helped Voldo trim the shrubs and making some vast generalizations about German men.
"Yeah, I dated a German once and it was just the same thing…" Taki said as she looked at Siegfried who was plainly blinking. That was the reason he didn't like hanging out with them… they always treated him as if he was the incarnation of every German stereotype they knew.
"(Really?)" Asked Charade.
"Yeah… He was so cute…. I miss him…" Said Taki.
"I may not be able to pull that off…I am too hot to be 'sad'…" Said Maxi while looking at his hands. Then they finally reached the entrance of the house.
"People, stop it…! - Argued the Arian one…- Cervantes yells that he will feast on your soul and nobody prosecutes him." Said him defending his Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie honor. He looked at Cervy the Cute dead pirate who gave him the peace sign and smiled silly at him.
"Yeah, he says it…- Said Astaroth once and for all entering the argument. - But he is not a sad bad boy…. He may have been a hottie with a mustache when he was alive…. Like those Mexican novela actors… he kicks our asses ever day, but he smiles and is happy…- Said Astaroth defending the happy purple pirate. Everyone looked at him wide eyed because for the first time Astaroth finished a phrase without saying…. - WORMS!" Never mind… but he defended Cervantes nonetheless.
"Yeah Nighty…- Said Yunsung looking at Cervy's Sexy Pirate in Bliss smile. - Do you need a Group hug… or professional help? The psychologist at my school used to say feelings weren't bad and we needed to open ourselves to the world." Wisely advised the Teen warrior as he looked at the boiling pot that was Nightmare. He just limited himself to smile like a mad piranha and sigh heavily.
"Seriously… Stop it…" Said Siegfried squeezing his teeth tight.
"Awww… Poor baby Sieggy needs Love…- Said Maxi now leaning in a column of the entrance.- And I am Hot.." He said looking at the weed covering the door.
"Goddamn it…. I DON'T NEED LOVE…" Siegfried yelled as some steam escaped his ears.
"No… he needs sex…" Whispered Talim as she filmed the whole scene.
"Damn Right…- Replied Sieg folding his arms in determination and smiling eyes closed…. Then opening his eyes to see Talim's sick smile and her nod towards the camera…- Err…. I mean…. TAMASHIOOO!" And Siegfried/Nightmare took Voldo like a sadist version of a trimmer and started cutting through the shrubs that stood between them and the door.
"Siegfried-sama…. Saying 'Souls' in Japanese is definitely not going to help you…- Talim said as all the souls including Voldo who had his eyes blindfolded, looked at him.- Then again, if sex is what you need, I am more than sure Ivy-san there can help…" Talim pointed at Ivy who was blowing her nails uninterestedly in the corner.
"I can make the sacrifice…" Ivy said with a huge grin.
"What a sacrifice…" Scuffed Cassandra rolling her eyes.
"My Daughter…. The Martyr…" Said Cervy looking at Nightmare working it with his Voldo 3000 more eagerly now.
"Why does it have to be Ivy…?" Asked Xianghua as she examined the bare bulging muscles of the pocket German.
"Someone's Jealous…." Said Raphael.
"I am not…" Replied Xianghua.
"Suuuuuuuuure…. And I am actually a Magical Fairy escaped from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream…."Said Maxi seeing Siegfried's ears turning as red as Yunsung's hair.
"You are…?"
"No… But I am sexy…. That is something, if not everything…"
"Knock it off already you beauty Queen reject…" Taki said hitting Maxi in the head.
"Watch the hair Boobzilla…"
Meanwhile Siegfried kept working the lawn with Voldo all while Voldo was whooshing left and right and in the end he put him against the door and it opened.
"Ah… it's open… He, he…. Danke Herrgott (Thanks, Lord)…" Said Siegfried dropping Voldo to the floor and entering the dark house as if he was carried by a choir of angels. Voldo simply looked, rubbed his ass and then assumed his arachnid position and 'crawled' inside. Everyone followed him inside and after all of them were in, the door immediately closed.
"So… we spend the night here and we get a prize…" Xianghua said as everyone walked inside the main living room of the house and sat in a corner and stared in silence to one another only hearing a clock ticking in the close hallway.
"Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock…." Said Maxi looking at Nightmare and then at Ivy.
"Take a chance, go bang Next Door…" Talim sang in the tone of Gwen Steffani's song.
"Whatchu waiting, Whatchu waiting, whatchu waiting for…" Sang everyone else.
"Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock…" Continued Maxi.
"People, BITTE… BITTE (Please)… Stop it…" Said Sieg turning redder than what he was and giving a traumatized glance to Talim who smiled widely.
"So… what do we do now…?" Asked Yunsung looking at Nightmare.
"I don't believe in Ghosts… so let's get some sleep…" Said Siegfried as it seemed he had taken the leadership of the team of souls. As he said so, everyone looked at him wide eyed and he looked to the side seeing a ghost beside him.
"BOOOOO…." Said the Ghost.
"WHOOOOSH!" 'Yelled' Voldo.
"What is he saying…?" Asked Siegfried pretty eased looking at the floating mass.
"Who… Voldo or the Ghost?" Asked Cassandra as she squeezed the tears out of Charade. Siegfried simply looked at her wide eyed as Talim strangled his arm.
"Beats me… Both…"
"Voldo said… GHOST…" Said Cassandra looking at the ghost floating merrily from side to side.
"(And the Ghost)?" Asked Charade almost loosing his cornea under her mortal grasp.
"Beats me… I don't speak Ghost…" Said Cassandra while both, the Ghost and Siegfried had the same face, wide eyes.
"Oh dear lord, it wouldn't surprise me if you did… in fact it is a shocker that you don't…" Taki said rolling her eyes.
"Why is that you exhibitionist Ninja?" Asked Cassandra squeezing angrily Charade's spirit.
"You already speak Whoosh…"
"Well….yeah…" Cassandra said.
"Cervantes-sama… what is the ghost saying?" Asked Talim looking at the smiling ghost. Cervantes just curled his mustache and coughed.
"Why me?"
"Because you are dead…" Said Kilik looking at him as if it was more than obvious.
"But…- Cervantes began but desisted. - Ah, what the hell? The Ghost says… 'I am a ghost… fear me…'" Xianghua stood up and walked to the Ghost.
"But, it is Kind of cute… How are you Mr. Ghost?" She asked and the Ghost booed some more… everyone looked at Cervantes.
"Ah. Fuck… 'Why thanks for asking… I am happy to make your acquaintance… Fear me…'" Talim then left her corner with the camera and still filming Xianghua with the Ghost she took Cervantes's hat and went back to her place.
"Ghost-san… are you here to scare us?" Asked Talim all while Nightmare, Taki, Ivy, Kilik and Mitsurugi gave a concert of blinks.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…." Said the Ghost.
"'No… I was just saying hi… I am late for a meeting with Pinky and Blinky in my Pac Man Maze… FEAR ME… bye.'" And the Ghost left.
"Can someone explain what-the-fuck was all that about?" Asked Siegfried.
"Just smile and nod Sieggy… Smile and nod…" Said Kilik and Mitsurugo at the same time with a big grin. Talim smiled while holding the camera and filming everything around her still underneath Cervy's hat. Siegfried then proceeded to smile and nod like the rest.
"So… What do we do now?" Asked Cassandra letting go of Charade.
"Same thing we do every night…" Replied Yoshimitsu.
"Play Charades?" Asked Astaroth.
"(Ah no… there are no more charades in this place but me…)" Charade said while holding his whiteboard…. Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Try to take over the world?" Asked Cassandra with a smile.
"Run that by me again?" Said Siegfried smiling like a maniac.
"Forget it ma' boy… you need to have a paintbrush mustache to assume the German Nazi Warlord position…" Said Cervy getting his hat back from Talim. Sieg just made a pouch.
"Let's just get some sleep…" Said Yoshimitsu as everyone grabbed its respective corner and proceeded to fall asleep ignoring a few boo's and a Techno beat that filled the house.
The next morning...+
"Did you sleep well?" Asked Shady as the souls Yawned in the RV.
"We would have… If Xianghua's Ghost friend wouldn't have had a Rave in the basement of the house…" Said Cassandra resting her head and looking at Maxi's mad pouch.
"You know I need my beauty sleep to be sexy…. NOBODY MESSES WITH MY BESUTY NAP….." Maxi yelled as Talim handed him some Unisom so he fell asleep and wouldn't argue anymore.
"So… We survived your stupid games… what is our Prize?" Asked Ivy as she looked at how outside in every car that passed by there was at least three French fries looking at them and making signals with boxes of Fancy ketchup envelopes. Maybe Yunsung was right and there was a Mafia of French Fries… and maybe the sky was green and William Hung is sexy and Ricky Martin is straight…. She just smiled and gave it a rest. The bus turned dark and some light was pointed at the Cockpit.
"Gove a great welcome to the rest of the cast of Soul Calibur….- Said Shady.- Necrid, Lizardman, Berserker, Sophithia, Seung Mina, and making guest appearances….Spawn, Heihashi, Link…. And OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION…. ASSASSIN…" Shady said before leaving the screen.
"And I thought we were a lot…." Cassandra said looking at all the crew. Maxi who was almost knocked out with the Sleeping pills, morbidly sat down and raised one of his dual brows to look at one of the recently arrived…. : Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuun:
"Assassin…." Said Maxi with a hatred filled expression.
End of Transmission.-
I hope you liked that my guys and I apologize for the delay but I was busy with college work…. Damn You Edmund Spenser… Never take a specialized course on Renaissance lit. But… Never mind that… here comes reviewing time… Yay….
To lvmj: I am glad you liked it…. BTW I am a Girl…
To Lysander: Thanks for the warm welcome… And well… I don't speak about future projects but it might be a possibility…. In a last fic I wrote named 'I'm under your spell' Link had a cameo… -smirks- hope you liked the chappie
To Dr. Wilopolis: I believe you are right my Doc… Voldo startles me with just one breath…. But it was Raphie's time to shine….
To Sir Dik Dik: Thanks for the review my dear Sir…. I will read your Fable story over the weekend and be back to you as soon as possible… No need to be honored…. And About my decent action FF story… I am all sarcasm and no seriousness… so decent is fine by me…. In the reference to Somewhat Twisted Takes on Soul Calibur 2… I will proceed to lean back and expect you to look astonished and happy to know the following… There is going to be a Somewhat Twisted Takes on Soul Calibur 2 Strikes Back…. Coming soon to a Display near you… That's a Manson Production…
To NecoCoNeco: Well, here you have it… some more… Welcome and keep up reviewing… Sieggy/Nightmare feeds on Souls… I feed on reviews… REVIEWS… GIVE ME STRENGHT…. By the way…. I like your Azumanga Daioh Name… Sakaki Rocks….
To ……. : Thanks for the encouragement…. I am all about pleasing my audience….
To Faves Love: Well Well…. I am flattered you think so highly of me…. I wasn't sure if anyone would get the 'Fun things to do at wall-mart' joke… but seems I stand corrected, everyday life and Manson's insanity level just measures up to a big mess… The Priest not of the Cloth and I…. Is that Fanfic induced romance….? I will make sure to have my German Kitchenware Handling Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie beside me when I decide to launch into a more professional level of writing… Maybe I could snatch some more people…. Laters…. -Leaves to wonder where is all the music coming from…-
Well…. My boys, girls and Aliens…. -Random alien goes screaming 'We've been discovered' Before I leave, Rejoice you all true fans of Soul Calibur … For Soul Project is launching Soul Calibur 3…. More fic Material…. Now now… go ahead and review…. CC more than welcome…. Auf Weidersehen…. (Good Bye, German Style)