Chapter 3 – Misunderstandings Go Unexplained
She watched as Mark walked through the door with question written all over his face. He pointed in the direction of the door with pursed lips until the corner of his eye caught sight of her. He rushed towards her and swept her off of her feet, engulfing her into a tight, bear hug.
His smile mirrored hers, the smile that they had inherited from their father. He held her at arms length, letting her imprint back into his memory. He was bigger – he looked down on her. Her eyes were lined with the top button of his unbuttoned shirt.
"You've gotten big, little brother," she teased, giving him another hug at the side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, laughing at her tiny stature.
"That's funny because you – you have gotten smaller," he teased back, reaching over and patting her stomach. She understood the playful point that he was trying to make, and she smacked his arm. Her eyes turned to Alex, who was sitting on the couch watching television with her mother, and she noticed how his eyes were zoned out on the TV.
"I've gotten smaller, but he's gotten much bigger," she said, gesturing towards Alex. Mark glanced in the direction that she was pointing in, and when his eyes fell on Alex, his jaw dropped. He nodded his head in agreement, slowly tearing his eyes from his 10-year-old nephew.
"God, I haven't seen you in so long," he breathed out, looking down at her with a smile. "Either one of you," he added, in the same breathless tone. She smiled at her little brother, surprised at how he managed to make her really smile.
"Maybe you could teach him some of your basketball stuff, you know? He really needs something to do. He's bored out of his mind," she said, laughing quietly. Her cell phone started to vibrate in her front pants pocket, and she reached into her pocket to pull it out. "Go on," she said, nodding her head towards Alex, and Mark squeezed her shoulders again while moving towards Alex.
She looked at the front of her phone, and sighed in exasperation. "Damn it!" she yelled out, everyone in the living room turning to look at her. She shook her head wildly, silencing the vibrations again and gently slapping her upper thigh. "It's nothing," she said, shaking her head while pressing her palm against her forehead.
She set her phone down on the kitchen mantle, and walked into the living room. She left it on the mantle, hoping that'd help her to ignore his call – to ignore him. She glanced at her little brother and Alex, who seemed to be getting along fine. It was 10:30 in the morning, and she still couldn't sleep if she had wanted to.
It was the pain of leaving him without any explanation. It was keeping her awake, thinking about the possibility of owing him some kind of information. But he used to understand her so well. He used to understand her without questions or elaboration – he understood it all until his confrontation with the man of her nightmares.
"Do you mind if I go to the restroom?" she asked her mother. Her father had woken up and decided on making his way to the store after they had eaten. He'd been gone for a little over an hour, and she'd began to wonder when he'd be back.
"Not at all. This was your home once, baby. You don't have to ask," her mother said, smiling as she stood up from the chair. Sam smiled as they crossed paths, her mother walking to the kitchen, and she continued into the bathroom. Her parents were being strangely nice to her, but maybe it was because they had finally realized that she wasn't a child anymore and she could take care of herself and her son.
She made her way through the narrow hall, the familiarity of it shocking her. She slowed through the hall when the many pictures nailed to it were in her vision. The pictures were so old, the pictures consisting of her two brothers, her sister, her parents, and her. The pictures seemed the same down the hall, pictures of her brothers and sister on their graduation day with their tassels on their hats.
Of course, the picture of her was missing – the space blank on the wall. Directly beside that space was a picture of Alex in the first grade. She had forgotten that she had sent them that. They were in Dallas. No, they were in Helena. No, it was Phoenix. She didn't remember what city they were in when Alex was in the first grade.
She stared at the picture for a second longer, fighting the urge to reach out and trace her sons features, before remembering that she was heading to the bathroom. She shoved her hands into her pockets, and continued walking to the bathroom. She appeared in the doorway of the bathroom that she had used when she was younger.
It was the same, except that none of her stuff decorated the bathroom. Mark's stuff seemed to take over the bathroom, and it was just as familiar as it had been when she was a kid. When she was a kid, she'd always find her stuff hidden in drawers, cabinets, the trash, and even sometimes on her dresser. She always seemed to be banned from her stuff on the counter, but that was because the last time she was living with them, she was 16 and Mark was only 9.
By the time she was leaving the bathroom, her mind was filled of old memories from the year that she was pregnant with Alex and the few months that she lived with them. The closed door that used to be her bedroom caught her attention, and her feet wondered towards her old room. She slowly opened the door, and deeply inhaled at the sight before her.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest, and leaned against the doorframe. It was the same as it had been when she left 10 years ago. There was still a white crib in the corner, and a twin size bed directly below the window. The sun seemed brighter in that room than it been when it was lived in. There were two nightstands, one on each side of the bed.
A clock undoubtedly flashed on the one bedside table, and a lamp was placed on the other. She couldn't move. Her room was left just how she had left it. Her parents had never moved her stuff out to put other stuff in it and turn it into another room.
Feet were shuffling down the hall behind her, and she glanced in that direction. She saw her brother and smiled at him before turning her attention back to her old bedroom. He walked up behind her, and his tall frame overshadowed her as he leaned against the doorframe behind her.
"You know, they never changed anything after you left?" he said softly. He rested his hands on her shoulders, and massaged her muscles with his thumbs. She pursed her lips together, content with the sensitivity that her little brother was showing her and her son.
"Then, what have they used my old room for?" she asked, unable to turn around.
"To collect dust. Sam, they miss you more than they've ever let on," he paused, gulping down his increasing amount of saliva. "Sometimes, late at night, mom thinks that everyone's asleep. She comes in here and just cries. She hasn't seen you in almost 9 years, you know? I think that's why when you called and told her you were in town, she jumped on the chance to have you over," he said, sliding his arms loosely around her neck. He hugged her, holding her comfortingly.
"I thought that you said it was used to collect dust," she said, squinting her eyes deep into the brightened room.
"It's brighter than usual. I think it's happy to see you," he smiled, leaning forward and kissing the back of her head. They stood in silence for a few moments, before he gave her a tight squeeze and released her. "Is it okay if I take Alex to the park?" he asked her, running his hand through his hair.
"Sure, Mark. You're a good kid, right? Keep him out of trouble. He likes to perform emergency surgeries on animals. Dead or alive," she laughed, turning around and leaning her back against the doorframe. He laughed, rubbing her upper arm. "If you hadn't called me every month I don't think that I'd trust you. Why didn't you ever tell mom and dad that Alex and I moved to Chicago?" she asked him, furrowing her eyebrows.
"I figured that if you wanted them to know, you'd tell them yourself," he shrugged. "Thanks for letting me take him to the park. He seems like a great kid," he added, turning towards the bedroom across the hall and grabbing the keys to his car.
"He really is," she said to her brother as he shoved his keys into his khaki shorts pocket. He walked out of his bedroom, and paused beside her. He looked at her again, his smile wider than she had ever remembered it being.
"I really have missed you," he said again. She nodded in agreement, looking down at the ground for a second. Looking back up from the ground, she followed her brother back out into the living room.
"What are you going to do at the park?" she asked, as they rounded the corner. She saw Alex setting the phone back down on the mantle, and she narrowed her eyes at him warningly. He turned to see them standing there, and he smiled. Mark patted Sam's shoulder and continued towards the door.
"Where going to maybe play a little ball," Mark suggested towards Alex. Alex turned towards Mark and glanced back at Sam.
"Yeah, okay," Alex agreed with a smile. Sam's body froze – Alex had that smile like he knew something was going to happen that Sam told him not to even attempt. When his eyes caught hers, her jaw stiffened as she stared at him with those same eyes.
"You better not be up to anything. Your Uncle Mark has permission to punish you in any way that's necessary," she said, teeth clenched a little tighter than usual. She squeezed her arms into her tighter and continued into the kitchen where her mother was. "Be safe," she added, pausing in front of them.
"We will," Mark and Alex said in unison. Mark smiled and put a hand on Alex's shoulder, guiding him out of the front door. They disappeared out of the door, it being shut gently behind them.
"You've done a good job raising him," her mother said before she could even walk all of the way into the kitchen. She smiled, sitting down at the kitchen table. The sincerity in her mother's voice was met with a meaningful glance.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you'd seen the suture job that he'd done on his leg," she laughed.
"What did he do?" her mother asked, getting something out of the refrigerator.
"He cut his leg on something at recess, and he stitched it up himself. Whenever he came up to the hospital, he showed his doctor friend and he was afraid that he'd shown him how to do that. I didn't know that he'd use my own tools against me," she said, slightly laughing in the back of her throat.
"Alex had a doctor friend?" her mother asked, getting out ingredients for cookies. She'd recognize the ingredients anywhere, and she had the feeling that milk and cookies would be able to cure her pain this time. Milk and cookies could cure the pain for a seventh grade crush, but they could never cure the pain of missing someone while they're in the same room as you.
"Yeah. His name is Luka," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. Her mother paused from working the dough together, and started pounding it harder than she had before. Sam inhaled a deep breath, and leaned back in her chair.
"That must be the guy that Alex keeps talking about. Alex said that he really liked you," her mother said carefully.
"Yeah. We went out a couple of times. It wasn't anything serious," she said, shrugging. Why did she keep saying that? If it wasn't quite serious, it was getting serious. He had made his way over after every shift. "No, it was serious, but we kind of had to go on a break when Steve came back and interrupted our lives."
"What was your relationship with this Luka guy like?" her mother asked, genuinely concerned.
"He used to understand me, you know? He used to make me laugh. He used to drive me crazy, you know? He was the guy that I thought had the holier than thou attitude but then I got to know him. He used to understand me," she sighed.