Through the Vortex
Bane's Desire
Chapter 11 - Consequences

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up the next morning, but it felt later than usual. Taking a deep breath, I realized that the bedding and I both reeked of sex, which triggered my mind into remembering the night before, then feeling of horror and guilt became my bed companions. How could I have done that? I recalled how the night began with my swallowing down the passion elixir which triggered the whole debauched evening. I had to be more careful with the drinks this world offered, I scolded myself. It was becoming apparent to me that each of the colorful and fruity drinks served to me had a specific purpose, and more than likely than not, they were laced with some type of drug that was completely acceptable and accessible to Erithian society. Assailed with guilt, I cautiously turned my head and opened my eyes to find that I was alone. I didn't know if I felt relieved or disappointed. I vaguely recalled hearing Herron's whispering voice telling me that he had to return to his own abode and resting space. There had been a parting kiss, a mumbled statement of gratitude and then I was left alone.

Rolling over to my stomach, I groaned as a result of the pain centered around my posterior. I didn't know what had been in the elixir I'd swallowed, but it had precipitated the best and the worst night of sex that I'd ever had. I couldn't tell you how many times I'd climaxed or the variety of position we'd employed during the night because everything was kind of a blur the morning after, but I was pretty damn sure I'd just set a new world record. My only consolation was that Herron had to be equally sore.

Despite the slight headache and fuzzy tongue, I was fairly coherent five minutes after waking up; the drug had apparently worn off. Bringing the palms of my hands to my face, I vigorously rubbed my cheeks, noting the lack of morning growth there, reminding me of all that had happened the day before and that I was becoming Duwan more and more each day. My heart sank further in realizing that with each change, with each acceptance of Duwan's life, I was moving farther away from Heero.

"Shit, Heero, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." I whispered miserably into the cool morning air, engulfed by guilt over what I'd done the night before, that I'd been unfaithful to him. Even though it appeared that Heero was probably never going to be a part of my life again, whether I made it out of this strange world and back to Earth or not, I was sickened by my betrayal. I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't feel guilty or even responsible for not having put up any form of resistance and giving myself so freely to the other man. There was no doubt in my mind that the passion elixir had been to blame for my abasement. The drug laced drink had pretty much stripped me of any ability to resist Herron and induced a desperate, insatiable need within me to touch and be touched. Even so, with my memory so fresh with the night's events, I couldn't believe how the elixir had caused my body to become aroused again after again and giving me a climax so powerful and overwhelming that it brought me to the point of almost passing out... several times. As I lay in that bed with the scents of the night before in my nostrils, I countered my guilt by recalling mine and Quatre's suspicions of Heero and Trowa seeing each other behind our backs. If Heero could do that to me, then I shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt for having the most erotic sexual experience with Heero's double while we were... what...dimensions apart?

Despite my attempts to justify my actions, guilt continued to weigh heavily on me. "Dammit, Heero." I suddenly and desperately ached for my lover, our home and the life that we had together. Grief overcame me, similar to the kind I'd felt when Solo had died and the orphanage was destroyed. Even though I'd deliberately tried to push it to the back of my mind, I knew I'd lost everything I'd ever known or loved, they were gone, forever beyond my reach. Turning my face into my pillow, I grieved once more for my lover and everything and everyone else I'd lost, and even though he was beyond hearing, I apologized to Heero over and over for my infidelity. The more rational part of my mind tried to tell me that I was being ridiculous, grieving like that. Heero wasn't dead, just out of reach and/or time, but I wasn't comforted by that thought. Even though he was very much alive, he was still missing from out of my life.

Just as I finished that bout of grief and homesickness, the door to my room slid opened and Mueller walked in carrying a tray of food and wearing a smile that dropped the moment he looked at my face. "Duwan, what has troubled you? Are you unwell?" He moved quickly to put the tray down and came to me, gently cradling my face in both of his hands to study my splotchy face and red-rimmed eyes.

"No, I'm not sick," I told him, sniffing and wiping at the wetness on my face, embarrassed by my show of emotions.

"Then why do you look pained? Your eyes are leaking."

I looked at him feeling utterly dejected. "I want to go home, Mueller. I don't belong here."

Mueller's expression turned from concern to sympathy. "You know that is improbable. It is to your own benefit to accept your life here, to fulfill the contract Duwan made with Mistra Hildah. You possess here a life of purpose, of contentment as one of the privileged Chosen, and you will continue to live well after the contract with our Mistrah has been fulfilled. This may all seem strange to you, but there is order in Erith's ways. As Purples we look to the future, yet take every cycle to enjoy our station and the gifts we give to and receive from those we serve. We enhance the lives of others, which is of great satisfaction. You have a better life here, I believe, than the world you left behind."

"But it was my world and my people," I said, feeling both sad and angry. Yet after a moment, I gave in to reality and admitted in a dispirited voice, "I know I can't go back. It would take another freak accident to produce the anomaly that brought me here. But I can't help missing my world even though I wasn't always happy there. I miss my lover, Mueller, and my friends." I looked up at him, feeling guilty for my actions the night before, and confessed. "I was unfaithful to him last night and, at the time, I didn't care. That passion elixir you gave us took over my body and will, allowing me to do what I said I wouldn't."

"Then blame the elixir," he told me with an expression filled with understanding. "Know that Herron is Duwan's center." He placed his hand over his heart to let me know that "center" meant some deep emotional attachment, perhaps even love. "And I believe those sentiments are returned. I would ask you not to strain that connection unless he is repugnant to you, for Herron would be hurt beyond consoling. Is this the reason you are troubled? You have no liking for Herron?"

"No," I shook my aching head, regretting the movement. "The problem is that Herron looks exactly like my lover."

"Then would it not be to your advantage to consider Herron your center in this world? You lost one familiar through no will of your own and another is given to you in replacement. Does it not seem fitting that there is a balance in this?"

A balance in the cosmos? I sniffed, rubbed at my eyes, then paused to think about that. I'd lost Heero only to gain Herron. In this world I was Duwan and I was Herron's lover and he was mine. In some twisted way, I wondered if Mueller's words were correct. I'd lost the most important person in the world to me, maybe even before I came to take Duwan's place. Strangely, it felt right that if there was indeed some kind of balance in universe, whatever universe this was, the wrongs done to me should be righted. I was being offered another chance to have and to love Heero again. Maybe, given time, I could come to care deeply for Herron, that we could have a real relationship. If so, I'd be smarter this time around, I told myself - although I had no idea what a relationship in this world meant. I understood that I was contracted or married to Hildah in an apparent non-sexual relationship, evidently to have kids with her, and I also had a relationship with Herron that she encouraged. I was confused as to what Mueller and Herron meant, that I was his center. I gathered it meant he loved me, or rather Duwan, but after a passion-filled night, he hadn't stayed until morning. Instead, he'd left me to return to the place he lived with his Chooser, Relna. What the hell did that mean? My headache steadily grew worse as I tried to figure out the whole damn, confusing situation. Maybe I should follow Mueller's advice and take this place a day at a time.

I forced myself to focus on my caretaker after realizing that he'd been speaking to me. "...and it is to the future we look towards today. Mistra Sallah requires us to meet with her at the Life Center. You are to receive your heramone provisions then."

I nodded, remembering that I was supposed to go in to see Sally's counterpart to get the injection of a drug I guessed was used to boost my sperm count or virility.

Mueller was grinning at me as he continued, "Mistra Hildah procured a gift for you before she left for her duties." He gave a nod of his head towards the tray sitting on the bed. I glanced in that direction to see a plate filled with unfamiliar food. Of course, all the food I'd been given had been unfamiliar, but I hadn't seen any of the food on that tray before. I noticed a small gold box, about three inches square, set next to the plate and glass of green juice. I picked it up, opened the hinged lid and studied the contents. Within the box I found an amethyst-like stone set in a one-inch long tubular bead of gold. I picked it up to take a closer look and discovered it included some odd clips behind the setting, but I couldn't fathom any use for it. "What's this?" I asked, holding it up to him.

"If I may," Mueller held out a pale hand and I put my gift on his open palm. "Tilt your chin up."

Obeying his instruction, the blond leaned closer to me and carefully fastened the stone's casing into my collar, clipping it in place. He then stepped back to admire it. "It is as beautiful as your eyes," he said, smiling.

Blushing at the compliment, my hand went to my neck and I felt the placement of the stone, again thinking how odd this world was. Mueller's next words only emphasized that point. "With this gift our mistra expresses her appreciation for the performance you and Herron presented last eventide. Mistra Relna was equally pleased."

My stomach suddenly felt like lead. With disbelief I looked to my caretaker. "Performance?" I choked out, feeling nauseous. "Are you telling me they watched us last night?"

"Certainly," Mueller answered, as if it was an everyday occurrence. "It is the right of a Chooser to view any part of their Chosen's life."

Horrified by the knowledge that two women had watched the drug-driven sexual marathon that Herron and I'd had the night before, my eyes began a frantic search of the room, looking for some type of camera lens. I didn't see anything right off, but then I looked above the bed where a silver, half-dome light fixture was located. I'd wondered at the oddness of it as the dome was solid, leaving the light to spill out from the upper edges of the reflective silver covering and stream across the ceiling. My eyes narrowed on the three-foot wide fixture.

"It is standard in all Chosen's spaces," Mueller stated when he realized I was upset. "Duwan never took issue with being observed by the Choosers, nor should you. Come, let me feed you your waking repast and then bathe you. We are expected to appear at the Life Center before half cycle." There was a tone of warning in the other man's voice that told me to not make a fuss. I wondered if Hildah was still watching. I didn't know and didn't dare to ask, just in case she was, so I decided to squelch my anger, appear calm and do what I had to. One day at a time, I reminded myself, grinding my teeth together.

Still feeling numb from knowing that the whole torrid, erotic and desperate scene with Herron had been watched by Hildah and Relna, I opened my mouth without a word as Mueller fed me my strange food and chewed automatically. For the first time since I'd arrived on Erith, there was actually something I was served that I didn't care for and my caretaker rushed to assure me it would not be offered again. I believe I thanked him, but I'm not sure because I was overly distracted by my thoughts, conjuring up images of what Herron and I must have looked from the view of camera set above my bed.

After I'd eaten my fill, which wasn't much that morning, Mueller led me to the bathing room. Still in a stupor of thought, I responded sluggishly as he stripped and then bathed me, my mind still going over the night before. More than being shocked, I decided that I felt violated. What Herron and I had done was private, or it should have been. It was embarrassing enough to recall the things we'd done while under the influence of the passion elixir, with little to no control over our bodies, but in knowing the entire episode had been watched was nothing short of degrading. I'd acted and probably looked despicably wanton to the two women who'd watched us from another room. I don't think I've ever felt more humiliated in all my life. Maybe it had never bothered Duwan to have his most intimate moments being viewed for entertainment because it was just another accepted practice in this society, but it disturbed me to no end. There were some aspects of this seemingly utopian society that were pretty sick, in my opinion.

As I stood naked and lost in my own thoughts, Mueller dried my scarless, hairless body and then began working on my hair while I dimly came to the conclusion that I'd only been on Erith for a short time and I'd already changed. With every day passing day I seemed to lose more of myself into the role I had been more or less forced to play. I had become more docile, less body shy, and ridiculously obedient. I don't remember those terms ever being used before to describe me. Where had the independent, stubborn, loudmouthed, opinionated God of Death gone? I sighed, letting my head drop and shoulders droop with resignation. I knew that the person I'd been had been left back on Earth. Here on Erith I was becoming the obedient Duwan, doing what was expected of me, fulfilling an agreement that another man had agreed to and all for the fear of being sent down to this society's equivalent of a gutter rat.

After some time, I became more aware of my surroundings and that I was once again in my resting space and Mueller was dressing me. Without looking I knew that the clothing being placed on me would be a specific shade of purple. Though I hated the color, I appreciated the softness of the fabric against my skin. It felt wonderful and comfortable, and more like the expensive, luxurious and decadent pajamas that only the rich would wear than anything I'd ever owned. Once dressed, Mueller pulled my hair back and wrapped the long length hanging down with several purple bands, equally spaced, then the slippers that I wore for shoes were placed on my feet.

Words didn't pass between us as we left the abode nor did we speak as we buckled into the seats of the transport tube. When we emerged from the small compartment, it was to step into a building that seemed to be bustling with people dressed predominantly in Purple. I scanned the area and saw that, like myself, everyone was male, dressed in varying shades of purple with one being led by the hand by another male. The Chosen and the caretaker were easily determined by who was in the lead. I wondered if Duwan had ever been a caretaker, but then I remembered being told that Hildah sought him out before he was about to be put up on the selection block, or whatever it was Mueller had said it was.

"When did you become a caretaker?" I asked.

"Those who are not contracted by their tu deca mark from the day of beginning, are required to serve those fortunate Purples who have been chosen. It is considered training for a vocation if the Choosers look past us."

I thought at the time how sad that was, that Mueller, and perhaps many more Purples, had been raised for one purpose and then, if they were overlooked by the Choosers, were made into a servant for those who had been chosen. Even though he seemed content with his life, my heart went out to the man who'd been so kind to me.

We entered a building and approached a desk that was not unlike that of the Corrective Center. An older woman, predictably dressed in red, lifted her head and greeted us with a smile. Mueller bowed his head and announced, "Duwan, Chosen of Mistra Hildah of Red is here to meet with Sallah and receive his heramone treatment."

The woman nodded and a button on a panel in front of her lit up. "You may take your task to treatment tre-un." Muller nodded, then pulled me along through a door that had opened to our left. We walked down a corridor with Mueller checking the strange lettering on the side of the doors. I thought that if Erith was truly going to be my new home, I should have Mueller teach me how to read and write the chicken scratches that represented their written language.

Moving together, we turned and stopped in front of one of the doors and it opened as we came within inches of it, revealing a person waiting for us inside.

"Wu, how are you?" I asked, excited to see the other man again, then quickly remembered his name was Wudon, not Wufei. With his hair down, framing his face, and eyes softened, lacking the piercing gaze of conviction I was used to, I was reminded once again that the man before me was clearly not my trusted friend and Preventer partner. The ache in my chest told me how much I missed him.

"I am well, Chosen Duwan. Is your body healing in a satisfactory manner? How about your state of thought?"

Like Wufei, this guy got straight to the point. "I'm okay, I guess. Still kind of confused."

Wudon was dressed in the traditional tunic and pants that clearly displayed a set of arm bands that were both red, telling me that he was attached to another red, obviously Sallah, and that his station in life was above my own. It appeared, by the lighter shade of red he wore, that he worked for a living but was subservient to Sallah. The black-haired man proceeded to run an instrument about the size of his palm up and over my chest and the back down before he paused to look at it. I could only guess that some type of medical information was displayed there.

"You are recovering remarkably well," he said, apparently surprised. "Mistra Sallah will be most pleased."

No sooner had he spoken those words, but Sally Poe's equivalent strolled through the door, wearing the typical matching red tunic and pants. She smiled at me then listened to Wudon's findings. If it was medical jargon they were exchanging, I didn't recognized any familiar terms and it all sounded like gibberish to me. She then prepared the thing I'd been told was an infuser with a double dosage of heramones, explaining that we were making up for lost time.

"And this is for?" I was concerned about being given drugs on a daily basis.

Sallah turned, a worried frown on her face. "Your memory has not returned?" she asked.

"Only slightly," Mueller rushed to intervene.

The doctor paused as if thinking the situation over, then looked at me once again. "Do you recall Mistra Hildah is soon to have her seedlings removed and that your own progeny fluid will be introduced to them?"

I nodded. "Yes, I remember that I'm being prepared for that." And, I added to myself, that she sure used a lot of extra words to describe me as a sperm donor.

"That is correct," Sallah said. "The insertion will take place tu units later."

I was getting used to some of their words, so different from what I was used to. I pieced together that I was the official sperm donor and that tu hours after Hildah had an egg removed that my sperm would be introduced and inserted into her womb. With a nod, I indicated to the doctor that I understood what she was saying. "These injections are to fortify me, right?"

Sallah took a moment to try and understand what I'd said, then nodded. "Yes, infused for preparation." Putting out her hand, Wudon place the infuser into it and she in turn placed it to my forearm. I had the sensation of a sudden, forceful burst of air being pressed against my skin, and I blinked in surprise when she removed it. There had been no prick nor pain. Once again I couldn't help but wonder how much money I would make if I could take something like that back to Earth and figure out how it worked. My visions of being a heralded billionaire/philanthropist/genius came to an end when Sallah began speaking again.

"Because we must accelerate your heramone regime, Mueller will be supervising the rest of the treatment, administering the heramones to you tuce a cycle. He will return you to this center in six cycles for the withdrawal and insertion procedure and return to your abode after I deem you recovered." She turned and looked to Wudon again. "If you will, bring the carrier compact we prepared earlier." The man that looked like Wufei but acted so differently turned and quickly left the room.

Sallah then spoke to Mueller. "You will administer the heramones at the beginning and end of each cycle. Any inquiries?" She looked to the both of us.

"No, Healer Sallah," Mueller answered respectfully, his eyes on me, telling me to hold the questions he could see I was about to ask. "Duwan is anxious to fulfill his contract."

The doctor smiled at me with obvious satisfaction. "Very well," she said. "We will meet again at the appointed time, in this center." She turned to the door as Wudon returned, carrying a small black metal case, the size of the binders I'd used in school. He opened it on the exam table and showed us the contents. There looked to be roughly one hundred small tubes, similar in size to those you'd store the lead in for a mechanical pencil, and I recognized the infuser that had been included.

"There is a sufficient amount contained here for several turns. You recall how to use the infuser?" Wudon asked, directing his question to Mueller.

The blond nodded. "I am proficient in administering medicinal aid," he said, and Wudon closed the lid and handed the small box of drugs to my caretaker. "We will see you at the appointed time."

The day had passed quickly and I'd begun to relax, thinking that I'd escaped any reprimand or punishment from Hildah from my less than proper behavior at the Correction Center, but that relief had been short-lived. That evening, only a couple of hours after our return to the abode from Sallah's office and after my evening repast, Mueller was summoned to speak with our mistra. He returned to me, grim faced, and informed me that Hildah had commanded me to present myself. Mueller's whole demeanor had changed. He was tense, grave and strangely distant, telling me without words that I was in trouble with the woman in red who had full control over my life.

With my hand in his, I was led to a room I hadn't been in before. With a quick glance around at he furniture, a desk and several small tables and chairs, I decided that the room must be an office. Hildah was sitting behind a glass, ultra modern desk, and her serious demeanor spoke loudly to me that she was not pleased. As Mueller had instructed, just before leaving my resting space, I bowed from the waist, showing her my deep respect and humility, and waited in that position for her to acknowledge me.

"I have been informed by those in charge that you behaved improperly at the Corrective Center, Duwan. Is there a reason why you dishonor me in this way?"

"I meant no dishonor, Mistra Hildah," I rushed to answer. "I was upset at the unexpected results of what had been done to me."

"And what leads you to believe that you may misbehave in a public center?"

I remained bent over and played the part of a dutiful Chosen. "I meant no disrespect," I told her.

"You have earned two marks, Duwan, and though it pains me to punish you, I know I must before you become too willful. Stand straight before me."

Mueller's previous words of warning came rushing back to me, and his description of how Duwan was incapacitated for a day after a punishment filled me with alarm and dread. I wasn't sure exactly what was in store for me, but I was resolved to take it like a man. Straightening my back, I looked squarely into the eyes of the petite woman who had moved to stand in a place several feet in front of me, dressed in that damned see-through kaftan again.

"Stand away, Mueller," she warned the man behind me a moment before she looked at the choker around my neck and narrowed her eyes. The pain was upon me in an instant. A gasp was the only sound I made as my back bowed from the shock, much like an electrical one, shot from my neck down to my ankles. I had just learned the reason for the metal ankle bracelets. I remember a scream of agony being stuck in my throat as my body convulsed and I fell helplessly forward to the floor, unable to use my arms to break my fall. I hit the side of my head on the edge of a planter, but that pain was nothing in comparison to the torture I was being put through. I was in absolute agony, every nerve in my body was sending rapid messages to my brain of the burning pain that was being inflicted on them. I felt like I was being fried from the inside out. I don't know how long my punishment lasted, but if felt like an eternity.

It stopped as abruptly as it had begun, only I had the lingering aftereffects to remind me for a very long time afterwards of my punishment. I immediately threw up, then laid on the floor gasping and silently crying from the shock to my body as it twitched uncontrollably, my muscles involuntarily convulsing. It's hard to admit, but I was afraid, in dread that my Chooser would think I needed more punishment and would set off the trigger to my collar once again.

Then Mueller was there, hovering over me and trying give me some sort of comfort. Yet because I was in a great deal of pain from the effective torture I'd just been through, his words didn't make any sense. I was just glad that OZ had never tried to put me through that kind of torment; I might have cracked if they had.

I think my caregiver carried me to my bed and I vaguely remember him removing my wet and soiled clothing. I should have been embarrassed that I'd lost control of my bodily functions, but I was in too much pain to care at that point. Though his touch was gentle, it still inflicted horrendous pain to my sensitive, raw nerves and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Undaunted in his task, Mueller went about cleaning my body with extreme care that I was only barely aware of, and all the while he murmured nonsensical words of comfort into my ear. I couldn't understand anything that he said as he pain had effectively tuned him out. All I wanted, in those agonizing moments after my punishment, was to go home, to hide in Heero's arms and have him protect and shelter me. The many tears I shed that night were again for what I'd lost and longed for as well as for the torment my traumatized body had been put through.

I remained in bed the next day, unable to move much because of cramped muscles. I refused the food Mueller brought to me as my stomach hadn't fared any better. His fair face was lined with concern and worry each time he tended to my needs, but he spoke very little to me, probably sensing my simmering anger.

At the end of the cycle, the question that had plagued me finally came to my chapped lips. A moment after Mueller set down the tray of food he'd brought for my evening repast I asked, "Was my punishment a part of the no violence policy that your people are so proud of?" The bitterness in my voice appeared to have startled Mueller for a moment, but then he turned to me with sorrowful eyes.

Sitting on his stool at the side of my bed he answered my question. "Even a peaceful society requires the means to convince the lower ranks to behave. We, as Purple, enjoy many privileges because of what we provide to the upper ranks. We have to be protected, sometimes even from ourselves. You received warnings knowing that a punishment would come. Upon his arrival, Duwan also tested how far he could push Mistra Hildah and she was obligated to punish him in order to bring him back into the parameters of his contract and the propriety of a Purple. This method of the collar seems cruel but it is effective. You will never forget this form of instruction, will you?"

"I was ignorant of my violations," I said, with as much anger as I could muster, but in my state of weakness and complete body pain it came out sounding pretty lame. "It was unjust."

"Mistra Hildah is not aware of your circumstances. Only you and I understand that you are not Duwan. She acted as any Chooser would when her Chosen has garnered two infractions. Now that you know the punishment, you will be more careful not to act improperly. I will do my best to guide you, but you must behave like a proper Purple."

There it was in a nut shell. I either learned my place in this world or I'd slowly have my brains and body fried like french fries in hot oil. I stewed over that thought the rest of that night.

By the second morning following my correction, I didn't feel much better and a deep depression had seeped into me at the realization that I had very little control over my own life. Evidently, I wasn't allowed to be depressed either. At the end of that long day of aching and despondency, Mistra Hildah came into my resting room, something she hadn't done since my arrival.

Mueller, my constant, near silent companion since my punishment, stood from his stool at her entrance. Hildah inspected the room with a quick, discerning glance before she turned her attention to me. In her eyes was the look of disappointment and sadness, both of which were replaced with the blink on an eye with a determined resolve as she approached the bed.

"Do you fully comprehend the reason for your correction?" she asked me.

I nodded, trying not to scowl.

"You will now cease wallowing in your misery. Mueller will give to you the restorative elixir." She gave a meaningful glance to the blond, standing nearby, ready to serve. He nodded, and exited posthaste out of the room. Several long moments passed as the woman continued to study me in silence while I kept my eyes focused on my hands, tightly gripped together, afraid to say or do anything that would cause her to correct me. My caretaker returned quickly with a tray bearing a small glass filled with a deep red fluid. Mueller took the glass off the tray and pressed it to my lips. Under Hildah's watchful eye, I did as I was expected and swallowed the contents down, wondering with some trepidation what changes this drink would bring. I wasn't as much surprised as I was amazed by how well Erithian drinks worked on the body and mind, for by the time I finished the small tumbler, sip by sip as I'd been instructed, the cramping in my body had ceased, my stomach upset was gone and my head was clear once more.

"Mueller will administer your heramones and you will begin your sleep cycle," Hildah informed me, her air of authority intact. "I trust you to be up and in a better frame of mind early next cycle. It that understood?"

I nodded my head, keeping it bowed, and mumbled that I did. I heard Hildah sigh, then heard the swish of her gown as she sat next to me on my bed and leaned over. I flinched slightly at the kiss she placed on my cheek, hardly believing that someone who could hurt me so badly would turn around and kiss me. The tenderness in her voice surprised me as she said, "Be well and comport yourself in a more proper manner, Duwan. I have no desire nor feel satisfaction administering punishment to you. It is my desire, however, that you do not force me to it again. We are both bound by our contract to each other and our colors, and I must oversee your behavior and reprove you accordingly when you choose to test the rules of conduct."

With words that seem to come from her heart, and Hildah's petting of my hair with what seemed to be genuine affection, some of the ice that had encased my heart all day melted. I realized that even though she really didn't like punishing me, she really had no other option because of the rules and contracts that Erith's society had established. I again heard her sigh a moment before she stood, and out of the corner of my eyes I watched her turn and leave my room.

"Here." Mueller put another drink under my nose the moment the doors shut. "This will help you to slumber. I will administer your heramones after you have begun your rest."

Before I finished the small, shot-sized cup of sweet amber-colored liquid that had been sitting on my food tray, my eyes were closing and Mueller was gently lowering me back down into my bed. "Rest well, Chosen," he whispered. His kiss on my brow and his fingers combing through the hair around my face were the last things I remembered that night.

TBC

Author's note: Sorry for the long wait. Two weddings, two vacations, two novels, dog in heat, babysitting and long days at the beach are my excuses.