Chapter 9 – Backwards Approach of Things
His apartment had looked lived in for the past three days. He looked like he was living again. He had spent nearly every waking moment with Alex, taking advantage of the time alone they had while Sam was at work, and he finally felt like he was needed again.
He and Alex were friends, they had been from the very beginning, but he had started to feel like he had been ignoring Alex. It was understandable that his feelings for Sam had gotten in the way. Love had made him too blind to see to it that Alex was receiving as much attention as he needed.
He felt that he failed in his role of friendship with a boy trying to become a young man. He felt as though he didn't do his job well, ultimately making him lose contact with the foundation he had built with Alex. If he was paying as much attention to Alex as he needed, Alex never would have fell for the games that Steve continued to play.
As the movie screen to Hellboy turned pitch black, Luka's eyes turned to Alex. He waited until Alex looked at him before slapping his hand against his knee. He pushed his lips together and lifted his eyebrows.
"Maybe we just shouldn't go see scary movies anymore," Luka suggested with a shrug. Alex shook his head, and looked down at the floor. People began flooding from the packed theatre, but Alex and Luka were sitting there and waiting for the rush to pass. "Are you okay, Alex?" He nodded his head.
"Do you think that my dad's going to come back?" Alex asked, standing up from the well-cushioned seat. Luka pushed himself up by the armrests, and stood stout beside Alex.
"I really don't know. Do you want him to come back?" Luka asked, carefully placing his hand on Alex's shoulder. He had to protect him in the small, fleeing crowd still gathered in the theatre. He had to protect Alex from everything, including Steve.
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I mean, I love my dad and sometimes I miss him, but every time he comes back he leaves. He hurts my mom and there's nothing that I can do to keep her from hurting," Alex said, their pace picked up as they got nearer to the exit.
"It's not your job to make sure your mom doesn't get hurt. Just be a kid, Alex. As long as I'm here, that's your only job," Luka said, placing his hand atop of Alex's head. His fingertips ruffled Alex's hair, and he was slightly surprised at the comfort he had with Alex. He didn't know what to say to Alex sometimes, like, moments like these when he felt nothing but love for him.
"Can we take mom to lunch?" Alex asked, his eyes lingering on a poster for an upcoming movie.
"I don't know. We can swing by there and see if it's very busy," Luka shrugged, removing his hand from Alex's head. He looked down at the small figure walking beside him, and he smiled. He didn't know whether he should wait for Sam to tell Alex about the baby, or to tell him without her. They continued walking out of the front doors of the movie theatre, and they made it to the car to climb into it.
As they climbed in, Luka checked that the passenger seat airbag was turned off, so Alex could sit in the front seat, before starting the car. The car was probably supposed to be blasting with rock music that Steve had turned Alex onto, but no one's hands fluttered over the radio controls. It was as if both of the boys had something that they needed to say, but neither one wanted to go first.
"What do you think mom wants to eat? Just in case she can't leave," Alex shrugged, pulling the seatbelt from across his chest. He inhaled a deep breath as Luka glanced at him, both hands gripping the steering wheel.
"I don't know. We'll ask her when we get there," Luka said, giving Alex a smile before looking back at the road. His black sunglasses covered his eyes, and his eyebrows rising on his forehead was barely visible over the edge of the sunglasses. "What do you feel like eating?" Luka asked, pursing his lips together.
"Whatever mom wants. She's been upset a lot lately, getting mad for no reason. I think that she's on her period or something," Alex shrugged.
"I don't think that she's emotional because she's on her period," Luka said, shaking his head, "sometimes, moms just get mad for no reason." He pulled the car to a halt in the Cook County Hospital parking lot, and turned the car off. They both climbed out of the car and walked towards the ambulance bay.
"Is that normal, though?" Alex asked, squinting as he looked up at Luka, the sun barely flashing into his eyes.
"Is what normal?" Luka asked, shoving his key clutching hand into his pocket.
"For moms to get upset the way that mom does," Alex said, avoiding an ambulance that was sitting still in the bay. The ambulance was off, and there was no one it, leading Luka to believe that a trauma had just taken place. If that were the true case, there was no way that Sam would be able to get out of there for lunch.
"With moms like your mom, it's pretty normal. Actually, there would be some concern if your mom wasn't getting emotional the way that she is," Luka said, narrowing his eyes. They walked in through the sliding glass doors, and Alex rushed to push the button, to let them back into the ER, with both hands.
His eyes caught Sam, who was facing the same direction as them, with her blue covered scrubs back turned to them. She was sitting in a chair at the nurse's station, her temple resting against her fist. Carter sidetracked Alex during his rush halfway towards Sam, giving Luka the opportunity to surprise her.
He quietly walked around the island, his fingertips gliding across the countertop with every step closer he got to her. His light steps paused for his eyes to trace her still figure, and when her figure was surely implanted on his memory, he began to approach her again. He swallowed the huge lump forming in his throat, and with the gulp, he figured that he had found his voice for sure.
"Hey. You busy?" he asked her, leaning against the counter directly in front of her. She smiled, her eyes following the voice upward. Dropping the pen that was in her grasp to the chart on the desk, she slid off of the chair. They walked towards each other, meeting in the middle for a tight hug.
"You could say that, but it wouldn't be true," she smiled, pulling away from the hug. "I'm getting worn out, though, and doing nothing at all. Where's Alex?" she asked, glancing around the room.
"He's," Luka paused to glance too, "around," he shrugged, waving his hand in the air. "You should be tired, though. You were up all night," he smiled apologetically, "getting sick." She arched an eyebrow, and looked at him slightly accusingly. Licking her lips, she looked down at the chart on the desk.
"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows and snatching up the chart.
"We came by to see you, and to see if you were busy. Seeing as how you're not busy, we were going to take you to get something to eat. Alex's idea," he smiled, his palm pressing against the edge of the counter as he leaned against it.
"Regardless of who's idea it is, I'm not sure that I can leave for lunch," she said, fervently shaking her head, her golden curls waving around her head. Imagining the effort that it might actually take to get her to leave with them, he reached out and pressed his hand against her upper arm. His fingertips glided across her skin, goose bumps immediately covering her body.
"Yes you can. There's nothing going on here. The roads are relatively clear, and there are no patients in the waiting room," he said, gesturing to the empty emergency lobby. Her eyes followed his arm into the direction that it was pointing, and she noticed that it was clear. In fact, it had been clear for so long that Chuny wasn't even sitting at her desk.
"I can't be gone long. I was hoping of getting off early today," she said, checking her watch on her left wrist. He reached out, and circled her wrist within his grasp. He pulled her hand towards him and placed it slightly around his back, keeping his hand over hers.
"If it's been like this all day, I can see you getting to come home a little early," he smiled, leaning his hip into the counter. "Maybe you can, I don't know, have a long bath," he said, his voice low and quiet, "Eat a nice dinner of your choice in the candlelight. Then you could delve yourself into the couch for one of those Lifetime movies that always make you cry. My arm could be there for you to cling to if you want it. If you don't, it could be somewhere else."
"If you stay, your arm could be somewhere else," she said softly, her eyes glazing over while locking into his. "Let's just go get a hamburger. That sounds really good," she said, rubbing her stomach.
"Okay. A hamburger it is then," he smiled, leaning in and planting a kiss on her forehead. "I'll get Alex, and I'll meet you at the car," he said, pulling the keys from his pocket and thrusting them her way. She took the keys from his grasp, and quickly pressed her lips to his before rushing off to the lounge.
His eyes followed her as his hands circled one over the other. It took moments for him to gather enough strength to search out Alex. Forcing his legs to carry him, he placed one foot in front of the other glancing into every door. Approaching sutures, he spotted Alex staring over Carter's shoulder at a patient's head being sewn up.
He pushed the door open, and he watched Alex take on Carter's task with interest. He smiled, leaning into the door, his palm still pressed firmly against the door. Hanging out with Alex was nice, watching Alex was nice, and loving Alex was nice.
"Your mom's ready. Are you?" Luka said, finally finding his voice when he heard the snap of scissors closing. Carter and Alex's gazes both shifted to the direction that his voice came from. He smiled, giving Carter a half wave.
"Where are we going?" Alex asked, suddenly forgetting why they had even gone to the hospital in the first place.
"Come on, kid. You remember why we came. You wanted to take your mom to lunch," Luka said, a smile peeking through his eyes. "You're buying. Right?" he asked jokingly. Alex laughed, rushing towards Luka. "You'll buy your mom's lunch. Won't you?"
"I don't have any money," Alex said, shaking his head. Luka's hand was resting on Alex's shoulder. The grip on his shoulder as they walked out of the suture room, and Alex shrugged beneath his grasp.
"You could do dishes, or I could give you enough money for you to buy you and your mom lunch. I'm sure that she'd like that. Don't you think?" he asked, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. His fingertips slid through the bills in his wallet, fingering each one individually and respectively.
"She might. But won't she wonder where I got the money?" he asked, a slight hint of concern obvious in his voice.
"I'm sure she'll know. She's very, what's the word? Very observant. I'm sure that she'll just appreciate that you want to buy her lunch," Luka shrugged, pulling out two twenties from his wallet and transferring them into Alex's hand.
"Why are you giving me money to buy lunch when you'll be there?" Alex asked, shoving the money into his left front pocket.
"Because I love you, Alex, and your mother loves you. Sometimes it's nice to feel loved and appreciated, you know that?" Luka asked, closing his thick, leather wallet and putting it back in his pocket.
"Yeah," Alex said. The rest of the walk towards the car was silent, even when Sam stood from the curb and Luka draped his arm across her shoulders. They walked to the car, but no one climbed in, leaving Alex to stare at Luka and his mom blankly.
"We're going to walk," Luka filled him in, opening his car door. He reached across the seat and pulled out the mail piled in between the driver's seat and the console. Closing the car door, they walked across the street towards Ike's. "Have you been feeling okay today?" he asked Sam, facing her.
"Yeah. I just feel very strange," she shrugged, reaching over and slipping her hand into his. He smiled, giving her hand a slight squeeze. "I don't think that I've ever really felt like this," she said, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Felt like what?" he asked, his facial expression matching hers. Alex trudged beside them, remaining in his oblivious state as to what they were talking about.
"Like everything is just right," she shrugged. They stepped up onto the curb once crossing the street, and he pushed the door open for both Sam and Alex to walk in before him. They followed Alex's lead to a table, and both followed Alex's motion in sitting with more reluctance than he did. "I think that Alex needs to know, Luka. I mean, I've got a doctor's appointment scheduled for next Wednesday. Will you make it?" she asked reluctantly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Of course I'll be there," he said, Alex's eyes piercing into him in curiosity. Alex started tugging on the sleeve of Luka's t-shirt, pleading him to be informed. Luka glanced at Alex, and then looked back at Sam, giving her a slight nod.
"What's going on? Luka? Mom?" Alex asked, respectively shuffling his gaze between the two people sitting with him at the table. His mom dragged her hand through her hair, and Luka nervously looked down at the table, tracing its pattern with his fingertips.
"Alex. Honey. Kiddo," Sam said, looking up at him nervously as she searched for the appropriate term of endearment to call him. "You're going to be a big brother. You're going to have a lot of fun," she smiled sympathetically. Luka's gaze shifted to Alex, and he shrugged apologetically.
He didn't know why he was sorry. He could have been sorry for taking his mom from him and giving her to another child. He could have been sorry for not telling Alex sooner. He could have been sorry because he may have taken Alex's happiness. But the bottom line was, he was certainly and truly sorry.
"How could you guys do this?" Alex said exasperatingly. He pushed himself from the chair exasperatingly, using the table as leverage to lift his own weight. He glared at both of them before charging towards the door and disappearing onto the other side of it.
"I'll go get him," Luka said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder and following Alex out of the door.