White light

A story of a man who doesn't believe in life and a woman who doesn't believe in love. Both full of anger looking for their real fate. Seiftis and normal pairings.

Disclaimer- Final Fantasy character belong to Square Soft

Warning- Strong language, violence.

Chapter I

Confessions

Just read this damn fucking letter, that's the only thing that I'll ask for it.

What's fear?

Fear is an answer to an unknown situation. To feel anxiety on account of some expected evil or an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)


The human brain can be manipulated very easily by dark factors, like shadows, dark places, bloody flesh and unknown devilish situation. All people respond to these factors very differently, some people run and scream others just paralyze, and yell in horror. What would you do if a killer was running after you? Of course, run like a bitch… but let's put it this way, the killer is tall, its weight heavy and had a tremendous bloody knife in his hand. You can't see his face because your fear makes your vision blurry.

Not bad...He's after you because you saw him slaughtering a person in a remote alley and he doesn't want to be caught. You have two options, run and get somebody whom has a big revolver or just surrender and let him murder you. If you pick option two you would be murdered very fast. The killer doesn't want to be caught so he would do it quickly and maybe you can survive. If you decide option number one ...you have to be a good athletic person. Fear makes you run; like you never did in your life, but it makes you paranoid and weak. Your lungs will begin to lose air; your knees will get weak and heavy.

Hmmm... When you believe that things can't be worse you fall into the floor and break your ankle. What would you do now? Cry aloud and wait for the killer to murder you or do an ultimate pathetic attempt to escape by crawling on the floor. When the killer reaches you, your body and psyche will not function, you shit your pants and see your life pass before your eyes in just a minimum of a second. You close your eyes and wait for the knife to get inside you, however, nothing happens. The murderer disappeared and leaves a little note saying that you would be his next playing toy.

You would be his next obsession. I did that so many times in my short life that I don't even remember their faces or who they were. I cannot kill anymore. I only want them to feel fear; a horrible feeling that I sense every night haunting my dark soul, slowly tearing apart my heart.

Would you kill for your loved ones? No matter what and who? Hard, isn't it? The mind of the perfect soldier, he kills no matter why and no matter whom. No feelings, no faces, no families. No more than money.

I'm a fucking killer; I'm just a lost soul. I have no chance of salvation.

I had to run every night from people, nobody wanted to be with the assessing. Even in jail they fear me. Those men hate me like nobody, but no one was bold or had any balls to kill me.

Fucking people.

Fucking world.

I'm writing this fucking letter because a damn Psychiatrist thinks that I'm fucking insane, he commanded a group of assholes to remind me about it. They kicked my sorry ass so hard that every morning I puked blood and my head felt like to explode. So I'm writing for you.

He wants me to utter my feeling with somebody.

I don't care if you read it or not.

I'll send a fucking letter every weekend. Don't bother to write me back.

I don't want to know who the hell is receiving this.

Att.

Seifer Almasy.

The elder woman took another letter from her lap, she was crying for her forgotten child.

"You're a lone soul my child, you're not a killer" she whispered to her own. Her black raven hair plays wildly with the soft fresh wind. A tear ran all the way down on her porcelain face revealing a line of meaning suffer.

She smiled sadly at remembering all those beautiful times when she had him in her arms.

"You're just a child. How could they do this to you?" Tears kept running down her face. She traced her delicate hand through the rough hand writing of that man. She got a few more letters of him, but for some unknown situation she read that letter everyday like an unforgotten promise.

It had been five years the last time she saw him. She was forgiven by the government of Esthar and Balamb. They gave her a second chance. But Seifer…nobody believed in him. She begged for his pardon. However, nobody respond for her demand.

"Forgive me…"

She raised a lot of kids in her life, but there was a group of special kids that she loved more than anything in her life. She loves them like her own flesh and blood.

"My little kids are women and men of honor. You're the only lost one."

Edea looked at the blue ocean with hope.

"Someday we'll meet again."

A chill wind touched the back of her neck

"We don't have to wait another day" She felt his deep voice behind her. She closed her eyes and started to cry.

"I'm finally here."

Her heart was palpating so fast, her son was behind her.

The man knelt in from of the former sorceress wiping all those tear off her beautiful porcelain face. He embraced her with his strong protective arms caressing her raven long hair. Smelling the lilac fragrance of it.

"I can't believe you're here, I thought you were dead my child" She said looking at the man in his suffering emerald eyes full of hate and pain.

"I'm hard to kill." He said with a cocky tone in his deep voice. She smiled happily wiping all her tears.

"Hyne protected you." a fragile hand touched very carefully his face, checking every inch of his now manly face.

A smiled across his face appeared when Edea touched his strong worked-out arms.

"Being in jail made me stronger and cold. I don't feel anymore." Seifer said with no expression in his tone.

"Every golden heart feels. You are just angry."

"I don't have any damn heart!" He jumped to his feet and looked at her very serious. "I only have a piece of meat pumping dirty blood. Keeping me fucking alive. You promised me everything was going to be alright." He pointed his finger at her yelling very hard.

"I was in jail four fucking years paying for something that you commanded me to do!" His angry eyes penetrated her soul. She remained silent, listening to his broken spirit.

"I'm angry with this fucking word. This is your fucking fault!"

Then he just felt a hard slap onto his face. He closed his eyes and moved a hand to his cheek chewing his inner cheek making it bleed.

"You know how much pain and burden I carry in my soul all these years!" She was angry too, her eyes very pure black. "You have no right to yell at me like that! Every human being chooses its path in life!" She calmed down taking a deep breath.

"You made your own decision, my child." She moved her hand to his cheek caressing him carefully. "There's no way back, we only have our present." Her eyes were tender but his were on fire.

"I don't know why I came here; I'm just wasting my time." He took out her hand roughly and walked away.

"You are only a boy, you are afraid."

Seifer stopped in his track; blood boiling in his veins.

"I'm not a fucking boy!" Seifer walked to her very fast narrowing his eyes.

"Just look at you child. You're blaming the world of the things that happened to you. A man just keeps walking following redemption for his heart." She was calm and cold looking at the sunset. "Real men don't yell at their mothers."

There was a moment of silence, but Seifer began to walk away.

"You are not my mother, my mother died when she gave birth to me." Seifer said very cold, hurting Edea's heart. He walked away disappearing from her sight.

"Yes, you are child." She wiped a single tear from her cheek.

The night came and Seifer was walking with no sense of direction. He was lost in thought.

"She sounded just like everybody." He murmured to a giant rock. "I don't mean to yell at her. What the fuck am I doing?" Seifer kicked the rock when he noticed that he was talking to it.

He passed a hand into his oiled long hair.

"I need a damn hair cut," He touched his face too. "and a nice bath." He sat heavily on the ground cursing. He took out his cigarette and lighted one.

The sweet taste of the cigarette was welcomed to his hungry lips.

Seifer closed his eyes and began to think of his former posse, at first he was alright thinking about them, but then he remembered that they were at the Garden serving "Puberty boy".

"Damn Leonhart. Someday I'll make another scar in your girly face." He just kept breathing the cancerous smoke lost in his thoughts. "You probably already fucked my girl and married her, bastard. Rinoa, stupid beautiful girl". He said like a whisper.

He started to laugh at remembering calling Zell a "chicken wuss".

"You probably became gay, you were so damn fucking walking dick"

Then his expression became serious when the reflection of a certain female blond came to his mind. "Trepe…you acted like a forty year-old lady; always looking for Puberty boy, you never noticed that I was there too, mediocre. You probably work for him licking his dick at night."

"You are jealous Almasy".

"Shut up, conscience."

That thought made Seifer mad.

"Why does he always get everything I want!" He said aloud to the rock punching it. But then some gunshots sounded far away.

"The hell…?" Seifer listened very carefully, and then started to run to Edea's house with fear in his heart.