I'm back, and ready for action! I was so surprised, I got NO flames for Chapter 1. But here's chapter two. The question on everyone's mind is: "Who's the Tin Man?" And this question is to be (basically) answered in this chapter, but not before a song!

Disclaimer: "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile," is from the musical ANNIE, and it's lyricist Martin Charnin. I'd just like to say that if you don't know the original lyrics to the song, you probably wont be able to fully appreciate it. It would also help to know the tune, but I'm not expecting you to run out and buy the soundtrack. If you'd google the lyrics, though, it might help. Just a suggestion to amplify your musical theatre experience!

PS- THE LYRICS HAVE BEEN TWEAKED SLIGHTLY. ALL THE MORE REASON TO NOT SUE ME!

The next day, House was running around the hospital, trying to find Dr. Wilson. (Of course, he couldn't literally run, but you get the idea.) He had a small favor to ask him. He ran into three nurses and knocked over a stretcher before finding Wilson in one of the patient rooms, drinking a Diet Coke and flipping through a magazine or questionable content.

When the door opened, Wilson jumped about a foot out of the chair and scrambled to put the magazine on the rack on the chair. House smiled when he saw Wilson had become so nervous. That means he was doing something dirty.

"Hey," House griped. "Why are you hiding in here? That's my job."

"Oh, sorry," Wilson said automatically. Then he realized what House had said, "I'm not hiding from Cuddy, I'm on my break. Just wanted some peace and quiet..." Wilson grabbed the can of Diet Coke and stood up. "…But now you're here."

"You're damn right I'm here," House said, proudly. "I need you to do something for me."

"No! I'm not going to get you another pair of tonsils…"

"Nothing like that," House said.

"…And I refuse to break into Cuddy's office again to look for…"

"Keep your voice down about that!" House said, looking around quickly to see if anyone was watching. "I said that never left your office."

"It didn't," Wilson smiled and swished the can around in circles. "But what do you want me to do?"

"Well, okay, you know about the play…musical…thingy, the PPTH has to preform, right?"

Wilson took a drink, nodding. "Yep. Cuddy put me in charge of sets." Wilson puffed out his chest.

"Gee, that's swell and all, but that's not what I came here to talk to you about. See, Foreman and Chase and Cameron and I have to do the actual…acting."

Wilson snorted. "Ha!" You? That's crazy. What are you, the wizard?"

House winced. "Actually…."

"No way! Cuddy really lost it."

"Will you let me finish?" House said, trying to keep his voice from rising. "We've got all the parts down, except for one, and only one…" House let his voice trail off. Wilson's eyes went from relaxed to freak-out in a mere two seconds.

"No!" He yelled. Clinic patients stared. "Nononono, there's no way…you can't make…."

"James, please?"

"Don't call me James, Gregory," Wilson spat angrily. "I won't do it…I mean, I'm in charge of sets!"

"Cuddy told me that. She said that it'll be easy for you to do both parts. Once you get done with being the Tin Man, then you just…"

"The TIN MAN? GREG, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

"Wilson…James…Please?"

"No. You can't and I won't. NO!" Wilson stormed off down the hallway and House didn't even try to catch him. Someone had to become the Tin Man, and there wasn't a doubt in his mind that when the opening night curtain went up, it was going to be Wilson in the prosthetics and makeup. House was the best negotiator in the hospital, and if not the best negotiator, the best black mail artist….

Yes, the Tin Man was going to be Wilson. House just had to figure out how.

-----ifionlyhadabrain-----ifionlyhadabrain-----ifionlyhadabrain-----ifionlyhadabrain-----

House walked angrily into the meeting room and threw down the current patient's folder. He grabbed a handful of hard candy out of a dish and sat down, unwrapping one.

"Um…hi, Dr. House, and good morning to you, too," Chase said, slightly bewildered.

"Wilson won't do it."

"Wilson won't do wha…Oh…."

"Won't be the Tin Man?" Cameron asked. House nodded slowly.

"Why not?"

"He's trying to retain what's left of his pride," House answered.

"There's noting in being the Tin Man that could hurt a person's pride," Foreman said. "I mean, it's for little sick kids and…"

"Try telling that to Wilson."

There was a short silence, and then Cameron spoke up. "Well, what are we going to do?"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," House responded, sitting up straight. "Well, what's our patient up to?"

"He's still in a coma."

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"How boring," House said, schlumping back down again. "That does nothing to improve my mood."

Cameron exchanged a look with Chase, who exchanged a look with Foreman. Foreman nodded and pressed a button on a CD player. The disk started to spin, and House heard piano music…

"Oh, God, what are you doing?" He asked. Cameron pulled him to his feet and Foreman got him his cane. "We've got to work! Are you people insane?"

Foreman:

You're clothes may be "Beau Brumelly"

They stand out a mile, but doctor

You're never fully dressed without a smile

Cameron:

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street or Saville Row

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not on your white coat…

That…

Mha-a-a-ters…

All four:

So, oncologist, so radiologist…

So long for awhile, remember

You're never fully dressed

Though you diagnose the best,

Doctor

You're never fully dressed without a smile

Cameron:

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street or Saville Row

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not on your white coat…

That…

Mha-a-a-ters…

All four: (including House.)

So, oncologist, so radiologist…

So long for a while, remember

You're never fully dressed

You can't diagnose the best,

Doctor

You're never fully dressed

With

Out

A

Smile!

If there had been a light bulb floating in the air above House's head, it would have gone on and made a sound like a timer. "I've got an idea!" He exclaimed.

"An idea to get Wilson to take the part?" Cameron asked excitedly.

"Yes! And I'll tell you shortly. It involves you, Cameron. But first, I have to go see Cuddy…"

A/N- Dom dom dom!

(Fear not, friends, Wilson does take the part.)

You can exhale now, and press the button right down there: