Chapter 3 – These People Are Freakin' Out
Her room was secluded from the rest of the house. Her room had gotten larger since she had moved to the basement after Alex was born. It was bigger, even though the small staircase could be a problem sometimes, and it gave her enough room to share with Alex.
The walls of the 12-foot ceilings were finished while she was pregnant with him, and painted a white color. The steps to the area down below were just enough to make the upper part elevated from the lower part. Her room seemed square at an estimated 25-feet by 28-feet.
Down the stairs, there was a tan couch that would fold out if she ever needed the extra bed. It was surrounded by a matching set of end tables and a coffee table, not really remembering when they even got in there. But up the stairs were her bed, nightstands, a dresser, and Alex's crib.
The thing that surprised her the most about their basement is that it was just like a regular room secluded from the rest of the house. It was barely down below, it was at the back of the house, and the rest of the bedrooms were all up stairs. The important thing was that she'd have privacy if she wanted it.
Although, once getting Mark into bed and Alex asleep, and after Luka left, she took a quick shower. She knew that she could leave Alex in the room alone; every time he fell asleep he was usually out like a rock until sun up. That made him a good kid compared to most of the babies she'd seen.
She tried going to sleep, and when she'd tumbled onto her bed it was rounding 11:30, her parents still not home. She was happy that they were out and enjoying themselves. She was even happier that she had been given the chance to take care of Mark and Alex, missing the time that she'd spent with both separately but even more missing the times they spent together.
But in the darkness of her room, the moonlight peeked in and grazed across the edge of her bed. It was the only light in her room, and she attempted to squeeze her eyes shut tight and ignore them, but she hadn't been able to make it a focus in the first place. She just stared at the ceiling.
All she could remember was the hurt that had left with him in his eyes.
-
"The qualifications of all chemicals combined are more dangerous than the one chemical," Mr. Miller said, pausing for what seemed like dramatic effect. The bell rang before he could continue, and he smiled apologetically. "That's all for today. Tomorrow we are picking lab partners. You're dismissed to lunch," he said, tapping a closed fist against his desk.
She glanced back behind her, catching sight of his quiet form in the corner of her eye. The room squeaked when chairs around the room began to move across the floor, and she slid her book from the top of her desk. She shoved the book into her bag. Zipping her bag up, she noticed that he hadn't moved, and was busy staring at the book in front of him laying face open while he was playing with the corner.
Once the room was finally cleared, he closed his book and slid it off of the top of the desk to put into his bag. She sighed, standing up from the confinements of the desk and looking down at him with wondering eyes. He looked up at her, and zipped up his bag before standing while slinging it over his shoulder.
"What's going on, Luka?" she asked as he started to pass her. He stopped, his back to her, and sighed while dragging a hand through his hair. She reached forward and wrapped her hand around his wrist, not willing to let him go without a small fight. "Is this about last night?" she asked, her eyebrows suddenly furrowing.
"What about last night? Last night I learned about predicate nominatives and adjectives. There's no way to make that into something it isn't," he sighed exasperatingly, shaking his head. She squeezed his wrist as she maneuvered around him, and her gentle eyes caught his angry eyes.
"No. No, there isn't. So, why are you so mad?" she asked, her eyes narrowing at him in confusion. He sighed again, turning away from her with slowly softening eyes. Her hand slid down his wrist and her hand slid into his. His hand was loose around hers, but he did slightly grasp her hand.
"I'm not mad, Sam. I'm just a little confused and freaked out finding out that you have a child," he said, his voice quickly getting quiet with every word that escaped his lips. "Although, I guess I can understand. Look at you," he said, his eyes rolling out of the window. She let a quiet laugh escape from her lips while shaking her head.
"I really wouldn't have expected anything less than confusion, and I'm really surprised that you didn't find out about Alex sooner. We're getting so close. We're getting to be friends. I don't expect anything from you, I just want for us to be friends. Do you not want that?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. His eyes dropped down to hers, and he sighed. He squeezed her hand in his.
"We are friends, Sam. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have your guidance walking through these halls," he said, shaking his head with a shrug. Sam nodded, and her eyes drifted to her watch. She tugged his hand towards the door, and was a bit surprised when he followed her half step to the door.
"You want to walk me?" she asked him for the first time. For the entire month that he'd walked her home during lunch, he'd walked her because he'd asked her, and he was taken aback by her asking him. He walked beside her, his hands shoved in his coat pockets since she had dropped his hand so they could walk through the door.
"Yeah. Yeah. I still think that you shouldn't walk alone," he smiled sheepishly. She shook her head, sighing with a soft laugh. They walked in silence down the hallway, and the sunlight peeking in through the window of the door lit up the tan and white tile ground.
"Do you have any, I don't know," she shrugged, "any questions?" And those doors secluding them from the outside light flew open, causing them each to involuntarily squint. She crossed her arms across her chest, and looked over at him expectantly. He arched an eyebrow, and looked down at her while dragging a hand through his short hair.
"Is his dad, you know, walking around these halls everyday? Does he pass by you everyday ignoring his responsibilities?" he asked. She sighed, biting her bottom lip, not expecting that to be his first question. Although, she could understand how that could be his first question.
"Umm, no. Actually he doesn't," she said, shaking her head. He continued to look down at her, even when her eyes locked on the white concrete inches away from the curb to cross the street. She exhaled shakily before looking back up.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes still cast down at her. She nodded her head, and her eyes glazed over with fresh tears. She looked over at him, questioning herself as to rather she should say anything more than she already had.
"His father just doesn't care much for him. He actually doesn't care much for anybody. As much as I wish he did care about Alex, for his sake, he probably never will. God, he's such a loser," she said her voice ruder than it had ever sounded, "I don't know why I ever fell for him," she added, shaking her head with her shaky words. She was trying to be strong for Alex, for herself, but she was getting tired of being strong. She just wanted to be herself.
"I'm sure that he had something good about him," he said, pulling his hand from his pocket. He questioned himself as to why he was sticking up for this guy, as though he was saying that it was a good thing for her to have Alex in her life. He reached out, and placed his palm atop her head. "He doesn't deserve you, Sam," he said gently and breathlessly. He tried to smile, but his desperation to make her feel better seeped through his features.
"He doesn't deserve Alex. Hell, I don't deserve Alex," she said, furrowing her eyebrows and shaking her head. He sighed as his face contorted in disbelief, his nose wrinkled at its bridge. "Do you believe that you deserve everything that happens to you? The good or the bad?" she asked.
"No. I believe that you deserve the good stuff that happens, and the bad stuff happens to you because of other people's bad decisions. I think that some things are deserved and some things aren't. I think that you deserve Alex, and your strength is enough to guide him through life. And I think that he deserves to have you as a mother," he said, keeping his hand firmly on her head.
"He's the reason why I don't spend time with the other people in my life. I hate asking my mother to watch him while I go to school, and I'm not going to ask her to do anymore than she already does. Even through all of that, he's the most perfect thing in my life," she said.
His hand finally slid from her hair, his fingertips lingering on the soft curls of hair on her shoulder. She didn't notice that his hand lingered on her, she was too busy being baffled that someone just wanted to be with her. He withdrew his hand and shoved it back into his coat pocket, seeking out the warmth that it had to offer.
-
She thought of him. Not the old him she used to think about, but a new him who was actually worthy of playing the part. It had hit her suddenly, she was thinking of him and what he was doing instead of worrying about everything else.
It felt nice not to worry, and it felt good to think about someone who'd never laid an angry hand on her or someone who'd expressed a sincere interest of getting to know her. Her thoughts were clouded of someone who'd wanted to see Alex; someone else who shared the newfound interest in basking in the presence of the little boy.
Growing closer together as friends was putting awkwardness to her feelings. She had shared her feelings with Alex, as though she was asking his permission to move on from his father, but the closest thing that she could get as an answer from him was the way he'd light up every time Luka would come into the room. He seemed to giggle at everything that Luka said or did.
She always seemed to get herself into trouble when she'd look in on Luka gazing over Alex, or holding Alex, or making Alex laugh. Everything about Luka was what she hoped for Alex's dad to be, but he hadn't shown half as much interest that Luka had. Luka was a special kind of guy; one that would be very difficult to replace.
Through to the middle of October had been the same since she'd shared that talk with Luka. He'd walk her home before lunch, usually getting something from her house to eat on the way back to school, he'd go to her house for help with homework, and he'd continue falling in love with Alex as if he was his own son. Mark had even warmed up enough to Luka that he'd beg Luka to play games with him in his room. But she wondered if throughout that time he'd even given her a second thought. Maybe he was too busy falling in love with Alex to think about her, or too busy spending time with Mark to think about her.
-
She was busy in the living room, checking over her Geometry homework to think that he'd be thinking of her, especially since he was in Mark's room playing with him.
"Listen, Mark, I'm going to go talk to your sister for a while," he smiled apologetically, setting the playstation controller down on the floor in front of him. Mark looked up, his fingertips tracing the controller in his hands. Luka reached over and placed his hand on top of Marks' head, "is that okay?"
"Yeah. I mean, you are her friend," he shrugged, smiling understandingly. Luka furrowed his eyebrows, and ruffled Mark's hair. He stood up and walked out of the room, but he paused in the doorway, watching Mark starting to get into another game.
"You know? I'm your friend too," Luka said, and then he bit down on his bottom lip. He smiled with his lip still in his mouth. Mark paused the game and glanced back at Luka with a smile, nodding. He nodded too before walking out of Mark's room and into the living room.
"Are you staying for dinner?" Sam asked, her eyes still fixated on her paper in her hands. He shrugged, collapsing onto the couch beside her. "Are you?" she asked again, her eyes drifting over towards him. He was laidback on the couch, his bottom lip still perched between his teeth, and he shrugged again.
"I think that my mom wanted me home tonight for dinner. She misses me," he smiled sheepishly, his bottom lip flying from his teeth. She momentarily closed her eyelids to roll her eyes behind them, and she looked back at him with a smiling glare. His look matched hers as he shrugged again.
"Momma's boy. Momma's boy," she teased, and she licked her lips in satisfaction. He sat upright, his glare intensifying and his lips warningly sticking out. She set her homework stack down on the coffee table in front of the couch, and did her best to match his look without laughing.
"Say that again and I'll have to beat you down," he warned sternly. She grinned, amused in his attempts to be scary, and she wrinkled her nose a bit. He cocked his jaw, challenging her to say it again.
"Momma's boy," she uttered slowly and defiantly. His hands moved at breakneck speed as they wrapped around her wrist. He loosened his grip as he shifted both of her wrists into the one of his hands, and he pinned them to the couch to be sure he could securely keep her in place.
She squirmed a little before he even laid his other hand on her, and she squirmed more once his hand was on her stomach, flying across it to tickle her. She held in her laugh, trying to keep him from knowing he'd won, but it soon elicited from her gasp. She fell onto the back of the couch, and he leaned over her.
Next thing he knew, his weight was across her as his lips where on hers, and he had blanked out until he felt her reciprocate his actions. He let down his defense, and pulled his hand down to her cheek, while with the freedom of her arms, she wrapped them around his neck. He didn't know why he did it, but he was glad that she did it back.
-
Ricky Allmen threw a punch and it hit Peter Crackin directly in the jaw. Suddenly, there was a split of the crowd, and it formed an 'o' around the fighting men. The stale sound of Peter's back being rammed into the metal locker echoed down the hall as no one moved to do anything to stop the fight.
The crowds hushed in the narrow hall, and Peter pulled his tired body from the locker in an angry fury. He rushed at Ricky, and wrapped his arms around his torso before knocking him into the lockers harder than he had hit the lockers himself. Ricky doubled over in severe pain in his back, but was still unwilling to give up his fight.
"Luka! Help me!" John shouted, tugging his arm as he quickly passed by him. That's when the fight caught his attention for the first time, and the scene in front of him took him aback. John dropped his books as Luka did the same right outside of the crowded circle.
They each tore through the crowd, and once meeting the edge of the circle, could have a clear view of the actual fight. Each one rushed to throw their hands between the two fighters. Luka's hands pressed hard against Peter's shoulders, and John's did the same to Ricky.
Luka pushed him back, his body a barricade from reaching Ricky, and he continued pushing until Peter hit the lockers hard again. Peter found himself pinned between Luka and the lockers. His eyes were still in a mad fury as his arm still wailed until it hit something. Luka's head followed the direction that Peter's fist had been thrown, the impact to his skull causing an automatic stinging pain.
John wrapped his arms around Ricky's shoulders, not allowing him any breathing room to find an escape. Ricky continued to breathe hard in his anger, his heavy breathing a deafening noise directly in John's ear. John's focus ripped from containing Ricky when he heard skin crash against skin again, and he glanced at Luka, who had one hand pressed to his head and the other pushed against Peter's chest.
John narrowed his eyes, slightly surprised that someone would continue throwing punches with someone who was an easy 6'4" stature standing near them. John shook his head, looking back at Ricky's angry face again, and Ricky's face seemed to suddenly light up. John glanced behind him again.
Luka bit his bottom lip, and the hand being held to his head was suddenly trembling in a balled up fist. His hand pressed harder against Peter's chest, his palm shaking over Peter's thick sternum. His eyes bore holes of anger deep into Peter, and Peter's anger suddenly disappeared as his eyes widened at Luka in fear.
"I'm not going to hit you," Luka said with a tight jaw and his accent coming in thick. He said this to Peter's slightly trembling form, the fear of being hit in such a vulnerable position taking him over. His one hand pushed him against the locker again as his hand left Peter's body, both hands dropping as he turned to get lost within the midst of the crowd.
John released Ricky, as Ricky's angry eyes caught the fear withstanding in Peter's. Ricky continued to glare at Peter as he turned to pick up his bag. Slinging it over his shoulder, he became lost in the crowd too.
John pursed his lips together, inhaling a deep breath as he searched for some clean air. Luka disappeared from his vision, the wash of the crowd unable to grasp his firm stance. John shook his head again before looking at Peter, still standing in a fearful shock.
Luka's palm was pressed against the spot he had been hit at, and as he rounded the corner, the sun flashed in his eye, causing for the sharp pain to flicker into a deep pain. He was partially hoping to be alone, slightly disgusted in himself as the old feeling of wanting to run rushed back over him. He wanted to use his frequent flyer miles again, escape from the barricades of the anger he possessed.
There was a frail hand that wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back and gently pushing him against the lockers. He smiled when he was forced to drop his books to the floor, and her hands pressed into his. The metal was cold against the back of his hand, but he locked his fingers around hers.
She leaned her body into him, and he inhaled a deep breath through his smile. He had to lean down for his lips to meet hers, surprised when his bottom lip was caught between her teeth. His back pressed against the locker evenly, and he wrapped his arms slightly around her torso with her hands still locked in his, holding her into him.
His tongue flicked across hers, and he inhaled a deep breath. Her mouth covering his left him in disappointment with its departure. He playfully glared at her before smiling and leaning his head back against the lockers.
"Hello," she whispered with a smile, her lips still near the crook of his neck. She pushed his hands back against the lockers, attempting to be in control. She needed some control at the moment, and she thought that the only way she'd ever be sure this was a good idea was if she was in control. The thing that she was to work on the most, though, was to get her feelings in check.
"Good morning," he nodded slightly. He was surprised at how natural it felt to kiss her, and he was suddenly baffled by her presence. She pushed herself off of him by using his hands against the locker, but before she could move very far away from him she was being pulled back. She looked at him with a slightly cocked eyebrow and a smile.
"Yes, it is," she agreed. She had to freak out because she had no control over her feelings, as much as she wanted to she couldn't. She glanced towards the doors to the outside for clarity, and looking back at him she was immediately confused.
Then he remembered, he didn't want to be away, not if he had the chance to be pressed up against the lockers like he currently was.