Love Hina: Where is my world?

-symbol key-
"speaking"
'thoughts'
actions
/locations/

Author: Hello again fan fiction readers. Nathalist here of the dark icon who is surprised to actually have reviews for this thing. Who saw that one coming?

Love hina girls: We sure didn't!

Author: See what I mean? Of course I would have updated without reviews

Naru: Yeah right! You would have pulled a page out of Keitaro's book. Moping around with your head hung down. Then you would have trashed this story.

Author: Are you finished?

Naru: smiles Yes I am.

Author: smiles back are you sure?

Naru: Yup. Feel good about myself and everything.

Author: Good, well you've heard of karma right?

Naru: Wait! I didn't mean it!

Love Hina Girls: Why must you prolong our torture?

-review responses-

xan3 – Squall falling in love with Motoko…I LIKE IT! I really had a whole different idea about this fic but I might be able to pencil that in.

knuxk – thank you, you have no idea how good it feels.

Locke Watcher – I had no idea that people would not like so much talking in a paragraph. Scratches head sorry. Balamb was spelled wrong?

dynamic tenshi – Really! I had no idea it would drive anyone to the point of insanity! Pulls pills out of pocket, here, take these, this is my crazy medicine that keeps me from burning things.

DMage – Someone actually voted on the fight scene! I might just do that.

Dimitri Plabato – Craziness is a good thing right? I admit it can be dangerous in heavy doses.

Kai – I literally updated the same hour I was finished with this chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina or Final Fantasy VIII in any way, shape, or form.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter two: Raiding the Garden

"This place is huge," Keitaro thought out loud

"I don't care! Find food! Now," his stomach kicked back.

'Great,' Keitaro thought, 'I never thought I'd go insane from hunger.'

Keitaro had somehow made his way to the second floor and was able to miss the cafeteria altogether. He strolled down the hallway taking notice of his surroundings. One open classroom with a bronze plaque on the door caught his eye. "Quistis Trepe," he said aloud, "sounds interesting." Now Keitaro, being the klutz that he is, slipped on something as soon as he walked on the door. "Ow, my side," he said gritting his teeth, "what did I trip over?" Keitaro looked towards his feet and found a plastic ID card.

"At least you didn't trip over your own feet," Keitaro's stomach mentally said.

"Yes you right…hold on….quiet you," the ronin scolded.

After that short conversation Keitaro strolled out the room with ID card in pocket. He made his way to the elevator, got in and pressed one of the buttons.

"FOOD IS NOT UP THERE," Keitaro's stomach yelled.

"Would you be quiet," Keitaro spat back.

"I WOULD IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO FEEED ME," his stomach argued, "FEEEEEEED MEEEEEE."

The elevator door's slid open. "Nice room, this must be the boss's office," Keitaro said out loud. He walked up to the desk and saw the plaque on the desk, "Headmaster Cid," he read out loud. Just then the elevator's hum filled the room. 'Someone's coming,' Keitaro thought to himself. He hid behind a plant in the dark corner of the room just as the elevator door's slid open. A man wearing a red vest, green tie and brown pants walked in. He had short brown hair and was wearing glasses. By the appearance, the man looked sane and sensible, but after what Keitaro had gone through back at the end, he would take no chances. Before he was about to sit at his desk he caught sight of the plant in the room.

"Hmmm," he thought out loud.

'That must be the headmaster,' Keitaro thought. 'If he finds me he might go crazy or something like that.

By now Cid was standing point blank in front of the plant. "Hmmm," he thought out loud again.

"You still haven't found food," Keitaro's stomach asked. Keitaro said noting in fear of getting caught.

"Oh, you're ignoring me now," his stomach said. "Fine!" Keitaro was thankful that his stomach went silent for a quick second.

'Maybe I can finally relax a bit,' Keitaro though to himself.

"I don't think so," his stomach yelled. "Y-M-C-A! IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!"

"HEY! What's that," Cid said jumping a good three yards away from the plant.

'OH NO,' Keitaro mentally yelled, 'why stomach, why? On top of that you picked the village people? How would you know about an old American song?'

"ARE THOSE STINKBUGS ON MY PLANT," Cid yelled, "well I know how to fix that!"

With that said Cid started power walking to his desk. Keitaro took his chance to slip into the elevator, press the button and descended to the lower floor. But Keitaro, being the klutz that he is, lightly bumped the plant vase and made it wobble a bit. By the time the elevator doors closed Keitaro heard a loud crash from the office.

"My plant," Cid squealed through closed doors.

"Maybe now you will go find food," Keitaro's stomach said.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM," Keitaro yelled! "You almost got us caught!"

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU FIND FOOD THEN WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION!" Before Keitaro could answer that comment the elevator started back up again. At this point stealth was the utmost priority to Keitaro. The elevator doors opened on the first floor and two females walked in.

"I could have sworn I heard something in here," one girl said.

"I know what you mean, I bet you have that feeling you're being watched right," the other one asked.

"Yeah! Exactly" the first girl answered.

Keitaro had utilized agility he had no idea he possessed. He jump up about ten feet in the air and grabbed the railing on the ceiling as soon as the doors opened. When the doors opened on the second floor Keitaro swung his legs and used that momentum to fly through the doors without getting noticed.

'I had no idea I could do that,' Keitaro thought as he heard the elevator doors close. Unfortunately for him he forgot that he was in mid flight. With a loud crash he landed on the ground.

"Why me," Keitaro asked himself face down on the floor.

"Because you refuse to eat," his stomach yelled.

Keitaro rose to his feet, the empty classroom from earlier was now full of talking and laughter

"That room was empty two minutes ago, how is it full that fast," Keitaro asked himself.

"YOU'RE NOTICING EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN," his stomach countered.

"That's it," Keitaro said in a forceful hushed tone. He gave himself a swift punch in the stomach.

"So you want to play rough huh," his stomach yelled. Keitaro felt his stomach clamp onto his fist.

"What the heck," Keitaro yelled trying to get his hand back.

"WHEN I SAY I WANT FOOD, YOU GET IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keitaro had wondered through the second floor hallway for a while. After following it, he found himself at a balcony which overlooked the area outside the school. As beautiful as the view was, Keitaro was not able to take it in. That didn't stop him from collapsing on the floor. Before he knew it, he was snoozing while a light wind rubbed his face.

When Keitaro awoke, the sun was setting. He reluctantly rose to his feet and started wandering aimlessly through the second floor hall again. Every step Keitaro took pained him. His feet ached, his stomach was sore and empty, and for a brief moment, he questioned his sanity. The walk was peaceful however, so he let his mind wandered.

"I wonder how Naru is," he asked out loud.

"Probably still mad at you," something in Keitaro's head answered

'Geez, what now,' Keitaro asked himself mentally.

"And what do you mean by that," the voice inside his head asked.

'What do you mean what do I mean? I've been hearing voices all day,' Keitaro answered.

'Well that was your stomach earlier,' the voice answered, 'I'm more of an all-knowing inner life form thing.'

'You're my conscience,' Keitaro answered bluntly.

'Well sure, if you wanna be a dick about it,' the voice answered.

'You want me to be a jerk about it," Keitaro asked irritated, "fine then. You're an inner voice that could have saved someone from their stomach earlier and on top of that the only way this inner voice can be heard if I'm hallucinating from hunger.'

"DO YOU WAN'T MY HELP OR NOT," the voice yelled.

"Ok then," Keitaro said, "so what can the all knowing voice tell me."

"For one don't physically talk to me, makes you look crazy in the head."

'FINE' Keitaro yelled mentally, 'so what about Naru."

"Think about it," the inner voice said.

'What do you mean think about it,' Keitaro asked irritated.

"I mean exactly what I said, think about it. What happened after the few times you was able to escape Naru's wrath," the voice asked.

'She would avoid me for a couple of days, maybe even weeks at a time,' Keitaro noted.

"Right," the voice said, "so that means…."

'She's still mad,' Keitaro concluded.

"Bingo," the voice said, somehow making bells go off in Keitaro's head while doing so.

'I would have come to that by myself,' Keitaro said irritated.

"Really now," the voice answered, "well now you know for sure that she's pissed."

'Hey I got a question,' Keitaro thought, 'if you're my inner conscience, why do you swear so much, I hardly swear at all,' Keitaro asked.

'Look,' the voice began, 'just because I'm your conscience does not mean I have to act like your weak ass.'

/Inside Keitaro's head/

A short building labeled pride stood on a corner of a street. A demolition man with a hard hat labeled insult strolled by and set up a system of wires around the building. He walked away and put his hands on a bomb trigger, also labeled insult. One press of the button the building fell.

/back at balamb garden/

"Real mature," Keitaro said lightly.

The conversation he just had had drained Keitaro of all the physical and mental strength he had. That and the fact that he just noticed that he walked in a complete circle. He picked a spot on the wall and leaned his back against it. Now Keitaro, being the klutz that he is, didn't see the red panic button behind him. As soon as his back hit the wall the hallway instantly filled with red lights. Keitaro sprang into action despite his stomach and his pride. "Why me," he screamed out loud as he lost his mind in the hallway. Somehow he found his way back to the elevator. He dove inside, hurting himself on the landing, and pressed random buttons get away from the second floor hallway. The elevator started with a hum, and descended to the first floor.

The door slid open to reveal almost every able student on the first floor pointing their weapons at him.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here man," a young teen asked. Keitaro noticed that he had black markings all over one side of his face. It made him wonder if he really got a tattoo like that on purpose or did someone draw it on him while he was asleep. Furthermore, he wondered why he had a blonde giant cow lick on the top of his head. Then something rang inside his head, 'START BEGGING YOU BAKA!'

Instantly Keitaro dropped into all fours, "please don't kill me, please don't kill me."

Everyone noticed a plastic card fall from Keitaro. "Pick it up," the young man with the cow lick demanded. Keitaro did as he was told and handed the card to him.

"What does it say Zell," someone asked from the crowd. Zell didn't answer, instead he changed his vision from Keitaro to the card.

"Oh you're the new janitor," Zell answered. Everyone relaxed their grips on their weapons.

"Will somebody go to the second floor and turn the alarm off," Zell asked.

"Hello, did you all hear me," Zell asked turning around to find that everyone had continued to go about their business.

"Yeah right Zell, since when do you tell us what to do," someone yelled.

'This guy gets less respect than I do,' Keitaro mentally noted.

"Follow me," Zell said to Keitaro after he was finished making his idol threats. The two rode the elevator back to the second floor. As soon as the elevator doors slid open the classroom that was full a while ago had just released. A group of people walked down the hallway, a second after they disappeared the alarm cut off. A young girl wearing a yellow dress smiled as she passed by Keitaro, his face went red instantly. The last person to leave the classroom wore black pants, a black shirt with at white cross, and a brown over coat. Keitaro noted the scar right in the middle of his forehead.

"Well well well," the guy said, "if it isn't my old buddy chicken wu-"

"What do you want Seifer," Zell asked forcefully cutting him off.

"Oh, is that hostility in your voice," Seifer asked sarcastically. "And who are you," he asked turning towards Keitaro.

"Buzz off Seifer," Zell spat out cracking his knuckles.

"Now now now," Seifer said, "you don't want to go against the head disciplinary committee do you?"

"Yeah," someone said from behind Zell. A split second later the guy had Zell in a full nelson, "not a good idea to go against the disciplinary committee ya know."

"Get off me Raijin," Zell yelled. Keitaro thought a fight would break out so he took his chance to creep to the elevator. A girl with white hair and a black eye patch was already in the elevator. Keitaro though she would say something but she ignored him completely. He stepped in, and pressed the button to go to the lower floor.

"And where do we think were going," Seifer yelled sticking his gunblade in the crack of the elevator. The elevator doors closed on the blade, then opened back up. The girl with the eye patch walked off casually while Seifer grabbed Keitaro by his shirt collar.

"Leave him alone," Zell called still caught in the full nelson, "he's just the new janitor."

"This guy squirms too much ya know," Raijin said tightening his hold. Zell stomped the back of his heel on Raijin's left foot. He let go instantly. Zell then hit Raijin in his gut with his elbow, then followed with a straight punch to his face, knocking him back a couple of yards.

"Well this might get interesting," Seifer said dropping Keitaro on the ground.

"A little help here Fujin," Raijin said after he struggled to his feet.

The girl with the eye patch simply stared at Raijin, then said very coldly, "yours."

"Maybe you should go help him out," Seifer said. "I'll take care of our new janitor here."

Fujin gave an irritated sigh, then went to help Raijin in his stand off with Zell.

"Don't worry," Seifer said snaking his arm around Keitaro's shoulder, "As head of the disciplinary committee it's my job to show you where the broom and mop is."

'Where the broom and mop is,' Keitaro thought.

Seifer led Keitaro down the hall until they came to a door labeled janitor's closet. "Here you go," he said opening the door. "You might want to start with that room first," Seifer said pointing to a door across the hallway. Keitaro took the trashcan full of janitor's supplies and walked through the door. He found himself in a relatively clean bathroom.

'I wonder why this room needs cleaning first,' Keitaro thought to himself, 'oh well, at least I have some sort of cover while I'm here.'

Keitaro started by scrubbing the counters and wiping the mirrors. After that he went on to scrubbing the individual toilets. "How did I get stuck doing this," Keitaro asked to himself

'Stop complaining,' his inner voice said, 'you whine too much you know that?'

'ON TOP OF THAT YOU STILL HAVEN'T FED ME,' Keitaro's stomach roared. Keitaro found a small packet of unsalted crackers in a nearby toilet paper dispenser.

"HERE," Keitaro shouted jamming the crackers in his mouth, "HAPPY?"

'Hmmm…' his stomach answered, 'it's a start….just a start.'

At that moment Keitaro heard the bathroom door open and people walking in. Keitaro was about to greet them until he heard one of them giggle. Keitaro instantly knew his situation, 'Oh no…I'm in the girls restroom. Talk about screwing up on the first day.'

"Hey what do you think about that new girl," Keitaro heard one of the girls say from the counter.

"You mean…umm….what's her name….with the yellow dress," another girl asked,

"Yes that's the one. Her name was….Selphie…I think," the first one said.

"Yellow dress," Keitaro said lightly to himself remembering the girl from earlier, "Selphie."

"She's too perky if you ask me," the second girl said walking towards the stall Keitaro was in. Keitaro heard the handle jiggle and shuffled towards the corner. "Hey, it's locked." Keitaro was thanking himself thought that the handle lock would give away any second.

"Hold on," the other girl said, "let's pull on it together." When Keitaro heard the two girls working together to get the door open he started cowering with his arms wrapped on the toilet. A few seconds later the door flew open and both girls fell backwards. They got up and saw Keitaro, on the ground, arms wrapped around the toilet, with his cheek against the seat. For some reason, a memory quickly flashed through Keitaro's head.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Keitaro! What are you doing in here while I'm on the toilet," an angry Naru asked.

"I didn't know," Keitaro pleaded, "I thought you was in the hot springs so I thought I could…" Keitaro was cut off right there by an infamous Naru punch.

His body made a huge opening in the ceiling as usual as his flight started.

"Why do I even bother," Naru angrily said working herself up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Waaaaaaah," Keitaro screamed when his defense reflexes kicked in. Now, once again, Keitaro, being the klutz that he is, accidentally separated the toilet from the wall when he sprang to his feet. The toilet broke into pieces against the wall and the water began to flow freely. Both girls looked at the overflowing pipes, then at Keitaro. Keitaro could see it in their eyes, they were going to scream pervert and run away screaming at any second. Unfortunately for him, he was right. Both girls took a deep breath. Before they could say anything, the overflowing pipes started to shoot water like a fire hose, knocking the three people on the ground. The next thing they knew the water filled the bathroom till the point were everyone was underwater.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young woman wearing a red dress with glasses sat at a desk in front of her classroom, a stack of papers in front of her. If anyone took a look at her, they would be able to tell that she was upset about something. The woman rose from her desk and let her feet drag as she left the room. The bronze plaque labeled "Quistis Trepe," glimmered as she walked by. She shuffled her way to the bathroom and stopped when she heard running water. She opened the door and was instantly pushed back onto the opposite wall by rushing water. Two girls came with the giant wave, they hit the opposite wall back first also. When the wave finished all three girls got back on their feet.

"Instructor Trepe," one of the girls said, "it's terrible! Someone's in there…" Before the girls could finish another wave came out the bathroom that made the first one look like someone was shooting a squirt gun.

"It's a flash flood," Quistis said to herself before she was swept away. The water rushed out the bathroom and instantly broke apart on the wall splitting it in two. Quistis was trapped underwater due to the force the current was slamming against the wall. Keitaro came floating on the wave like a human surfboard. He reached his arms out trying to grab something, anything before he was washed away. His hand met something soft and it instantly clamped onto his. Before Keitaro knew it, he was washed down the hall by the strong current.

The current pushed Keitaro until he slammed back first against the open elevator at the end of the hall. Keitaro felt something holding him down so he furiously kicked his feet to stay afloat. Keitaro's foot happened to hit the button that would take him to the lower floor. The elevator doors closed as Keitaro took his last breath of air before the elevator became flooded with water.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first floor looked peaceful as students was returning to their dorms. The sun was gone now and many were looking forward to diving head first into their beds. A ding from the elevator was heard before the doors opened. At that moment Keitaro was pushed out of the elevator by the rushing water. After the water stopped flowing and Keitaro could breathe again he tried to stand on his own two feet, only to stumble a little due and unexpected force attached to his right hand. He looked down and found a girl with blonde hair wearing a red dress, her hand latched onto his.

Aftermath: Ok people, I guess you all was waiting on a second chapter so there you go. Sorry about the long time I took to update, currently I don't have a computer so it's hard to type chapters for this and my other stories. Also it's pretty safe to say that you all were waiting on the Squall vs Motoko fight...well that's coming next chapter. See something you like? See something you want to rip my head off for? Tell me in a review please, it's the only way this story will improve. As for now, I'll be a good boy and fix the errors in the first chapter. Also I need a pre reader for this stuff so if you want the job, email at nathalist at yahoo or dark(under-score)icon at yahoo.