Love Hina: Where is my world?

-Symbol key-
"speaking"
'thoughts'
actions
/locations/

Author: Ok here it is, my blood sweat and tears.

Naru: More like your drunken ramblings between PS2 games.

Author: Would you be quiet? I'm trying to introduce the story here.

Quitsis: Hey! When was I suppose to be told about the little group meetings here?

Naru: And who in the hell are you?

Quitsis: I might be the one to take Keitaro if you're not careful.

Naru: Like I care what that perv does or who he goes with!

Author: Its ok, we're not in the story yet, go ahead and speak your mind.

Naru: TAKE MY KEITARO AWAY? YOU bleep bleep bleepin bleeeeep bleep bleep beeeeelp!

Quitsis: ME? YOU'RE THE bleep bleep bleeeeeeeeeeeep ble ble bleep bleep bleeeeeep! NOW PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!

Author: Warm up the popcorn and break out the snacks, we got ourselves a fight!

-Review responses-

Vivi239: Oh I did something good in the balamb chapter. Alright! Well I can you like action more than talking so my best bet is to keep the action rolling right?

Knuxk: Aww come on, you're telling me you have never...uhh….hey look over there! Someone's making a FLCL/FFVII cross over! Of course not, I wouldn't use that in an attempt to sneak out the back door.

Innortal: Thanks for the complement. It really means a lot, now all I got to do is think….of….something. aw crap.

Dmage96: Government agents huh? DAMN IT BUSH! YOU'RE SCREWING UP AGAIN! Wait, wait, not now, that's a different story.

Shinji the good sharer: clasp hands together I feel loved and protected now. Hold on points he's evil! EeeVEEIIL! Oh and way to go giving out the story plot! Now I gotta think of something original….damn! lol!

Disclaimer: throws beer bottle What's the point? I'm never gonna own it, I'll never own it. WaaAaah! Sniff oooo ice cream cone.

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Chapter five: Official welcome party

"How is she," Naru asked poking her head through Motoko's bedroom door.

"Not good Naru-sempai," Shinobu said not moving from Motoko's bedside, "she's still the same."

Naru had peeked over Shinobu's shoulder to see Motoko, well, a statue of Motoko. Her face was frozen in an eternal rage, her eyes staring straight ahead. "Grrr! I swear even when he's not here Keitaro causes all kind of damage,"

Shinobu head snapped back towards the door at the mention of Keitaro's name, "you don't think sempai would really do such a thing do you?"

Naru crossed her arms and turned her back towards Shinobu, "of course! The little chicken sent a hired thug to do his dirty work and stall Motoko and me so he could get away! He'll turn up around the city though, and when he does he is gonna get such a thrashing!" With that said she walked out the door.

"Sempai, you really wouldn't do something like that, would you," Shinobu asked herself out loud.

Naru walked through the halls towards her room. She grabbed her jacket and was about to slip out the door and terrorize the town by auditioning for streets of rage 4. 'I will find you, you're somewhere around here!' Just before she could leave her room though, she heard something below that peaked her curiosity and stopped her in her tracks. Naru being her normal impolite self jumped right through the hole in her floor.

"Naru? I thought you would be looking over Motoko," Kitsune said with a shot glass in hand.

"Shinobu has her covered. How's the mystery guy," Naru asked looking at Squall in Keitaro's bed.

"He turned out better than Motoko that's for sure. He's been out cold ever since we ran up to the roof last night, but other than that he's fine."

"So he should wake up anytime soon," Naru asked.

"Seems so," Kitsune said shrugging her shoulders, "of course it looked as if he would recover last night but that didn't happen."

"Well in that case," Naru said throwing her jacket in the corner of the room, "we should question our little guest here."

"What do you mean by that," Kitsune asked, "In case you weren't listenin I said he was out cold." Naru was already gone before Kitsune finished her sentence. 'Damn it,' Kitsune thought, 'what is she thinking?' She poked her head out the door just in time to see Naru charging through the hall with a tea kettle in her hand. "Is that water from the hot spring, wait no, the hot spring is too far. Wasn't Shinobu makin tea about five min-" Kitsune gasped at Naru's intentions, "Hey wait a second Naru!"

"Out of the way," Naru said pushing Kitsune away with her free hand.

"Naru lets be rational about this," Kitsune shouted. Kitsune's plea fell on deaf ears. She stood at Squall's bedside and threw the water on him. Squall woke up screaming.

"Alright buddy nap time is over!" Naru punched the foot of the bed giving the bed a seesaw effect, Squall was launched through the hole in the ceiling into Naru's room.

"This place is crazy," Squall said dizzily. He waited until the room stopped spinning then got to his feet.

Naru's head popped through the trap door, "YOU! STAY RIGHT THERE!"

Squall saw the fire in Naru's eyes and did the first thing that came to mind, he held his hand out, "BLIZZARA!" Naru yelped then fell to the floor before the ice hit. Squall then ran out the room and ran through the halls, not caring which direction he was going. He kept running until he came upon an army fatigue clad Su. "Are you people trying to kill me," Squall asked to himself.

Su pointed to Squall, "ready, aim, FIRE!" Five mini tanks showed up out of nowhere and shot mini cannonballs at Squall. Normally, anyone that didn't know Su and faced her tanks would stand there and underestimate their firepower. Luckily for Squall, he remembered that he did the same thing with Motoko and was sent flying because of it.

Su stared at her target, her fist clinched with anticipation, "it's gonna hit it's gonna hit!" Squall jumped to the side at the last second, the cannon balls blew up instantly when they hit the floor, almost taking the hallway out with it. Su put on a pair of goggles as soon as the hallway got clouded with smoke, "aww where did he go," She asked herself. Just then Squall landed right in front of her, right where her tanks were. There was a cracking sound as the smoke cleared. Su looked down and saw her tanks destroyed. "Uh-ho he destroyed my tanks. Oh well," Su chirped then pulled out a remote with a big red button on it, "Tama 7.0 go!"

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"Naru what happened," Kitsune asked watching her friend fall hard on her backside

"He…he was trying to kill me," Naru over estimated. "He was about to strangle me! I would have been dead if I haven't dropped back down here!"

"Naru are you sure," Kitsune asked raising an eyebrow.

"Sure I'm sure now let's go before he has a chance to hurt someone again," Naru yelled dragging Kitsune by her wrist. The two girls bolted through the halls and up to Naru's room. They opened and found nothing but a wet spot over the trap door.

"You go this way and I'll go that way," Naru barked.

"Naru wait," Kitsune said

"What," Naru asked irritated, "or do you like the idea of some no name stranger having a field day through our home?"

"Whoa calm down Naru," Kitsune said hiding her own irritation, "I don't like this any more than you do. But running around blindly isn't gonna solve anything."

Naru gave an irritated yet defeated sigh, "ok then Ms. Rational, what to we do from here?"

Kitsune grinned, she knew how hard it was to get Naru to cooperate with anything when something has her riled up. "Ok, we need to calm down and think this through, notice simple things that will help us out."

'She's talking to me like I'm still in grade school,' Naru thought.

"Hey look," Kitsune said pointing over Naru's shoulder. She had found Su sitting in the middle of the floor, piecing metal together as if she was playing with legos.

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Squall was STILL running through the halls and somehow found his way back to the roof. He saw the peaceful sky and the calm forest surrounding hinita sou so he decided to catch a breath here.

(If you're reading this and happen to have an mp3 of a final fantasy boss theme…now would be a good time to play it)

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUYH!"

Squall turned towards the edge of the roof overlooking the stairs and the city below, "Should have known,"

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUYH!"

Squall knew that something big was coming his way. He looked frantically around the roof for anything to use as a weapon since his was split in two. A split second later he found Motoko's sword near the stairs leading back into the dorm. He rushed over to the sword and instead of finding a sharp metal blade he found a dull stone one. "Just great," Squall said to himself griping the sword in his hands. He turned around just in time to see a giant machina turtle making its way over the side. "You are $#&#! kidding me," Squall said in awe. The turtle threw its head back, roared, and swiped at Squall. He rolled out of the way and made a bee-line for the stairs. Before he could get there though the turtle launched a fireball from its mouth, it hit the roof exit, collapsing it and leaving Squall trapped with the turtle. Unless he wanted to become the next Val Venus and make is own version of the money shot to the hot spring below, Squall would have to stand and fight.

The turtle threw its head back and shot a massive laser at Squall. He rolled out of the way but the turtle just traced Squall's movements with a second laser. It was smaller and faster than the first. Squall was running around the roof doing his best to stay one step ahead of the laser. The roof started to look like a farmer after he was finished plowing his field.

'I can't keep running around like this,' Squall thought to himself, 'there must be something I can do to turn this thing around.' The turtle stopped firing its laser, Squall came to a sliding stop. The turtle seemed to just sit there for a second or two. Squall didn't let his guard down for a second, the slight twinkle in the turtle's eyes alerted Squall, he rolled out away. The same massive laser from before shot from the turtle, taking a good portion of the cherry blossom tree that was in its path. Before Squall could get back to his feet the turtle slammed its flipper, paw, whatever mechanical turtles use for legs right where Squall was at. The turtle lifted its flipper and instead of finding Squall stuck to the bottom of like and old piece of gum, it just found a black jacket. The turtle rolled its head to the left and found Squall standing on its other flipper. Instantly the turtle shot the small quick laser from before. Squall jumped out of the way just as the laser came down. A couple of jolts shot from the robot's flipper before the tip completely fell off. The turtle threw its head back and roared, it must have been programmed to feel pain. A split second later the exposed wires shot from the flipper and tied themselves around Squalls ankles. The turtle pulled back a bit and forced Squall to fall on his back. It then positioned its head right above Squall, opened its mouth, and charged for what looked like a bone scorching fireball.

Squall stared death advocate in the face until he noticed a slight light the back of its mouth, like a giant light bulb. He gripped the handle of the stone katana. 'Guess it's now or never,' Squall thought shoving the katana in the turtle's mouth. As soon as the katana hit, the stone blade shattered along with the bulb. The wires instantly let go of Squall. He scrambled to his feet before he was impaled by glass and metal shards coming out of the turtle's mouth. The turtle head then fell to the ground…err…roof, with a loud thud. Instead of accepting defeat though, the turtle fired the quick laser…again. Squall grabbed on of the large metal shards on the ground then jumped on the turtle's head. The turtle roared in protest but that didn't stop Squall, he took the metal shard and pierced the armor on the turtle's...err…scalp. He stabbed the turtle enough to where he could pull apart a piece of armor to expose wires.

(Crushes a 500 dollar stereo system with a sledge hammer, ok you can stop the song now)

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"Are you sure he's up here Su," Naru asked, her knuckles white from her clinched fist

"Yup," Su chirped skipping along as if it was a normal day, even though her tanks was stomped by the quote unquote "strangler," as Naru put it, "Tama should be finished with him now." Just then they came to a dead end in the hall with a large hole in the ceiling "Wait, aren't the stairs suppose to be here," Su asked scratching her head.

"You didn't send that turtle to the roof did you," Kitsune asked.

"Uh-huh," Su nodded.

"Su! The roof is in shambles," Kitsune argued, "since Keitaro is nowhere to be found the repairs have ta come out of our pockets and I for one ain't exactly married to Mr. Moneybags. You don't have anything to say about this Naru?"

She just stood there, teeth gritted with a look that could scare the grim reaper, "YOU," she shouted at the top of her lungs. In her view Squall had his back turned towards the girls…totally oblivious to the fact that he had an audience, that is until Naru made her crazy mad kill em now kill em dead drunken rage death screech. Squall turned and ran, leaving a dozen wires in his wake.

"He took out Tama" Su asked herself.

"RRRGH! He's on the run again," Naru yelled, span around and resumed her run through the hinita sou halls.

Kitsune shook her head and sighed, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

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Shinobu sat in a chair at Motoko's bedside with a nice hot cup of tea. She was just starting to nod off until Squall swung in the window feet first. Shinobu dropped the tea and opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out, the voice was scared out of her. Squall looked at the Motoko statuette lying in the bed, then at Shinobu. By now Shinobu had backed into a corner, her back pressed against the wall. She feared for her life, until she saw a gentle look in Squall's eyes. Sure he had his usual scowl but for some reason Shinobu was able to see right through it. For a second, she swore she saw Keitaro's sheepish grin on Squall's face. Of course this was her imagination but it made her relax a little nonetheless. Even though this happened she still wouldn't walk up to him and say "hi my name's Shinobu. Who are you and can you help my friend here?" She was way too shy for that.

In any event, Squall was relieved to find someone in the house hold that wouldn't scream at him and run away, or lift a sword, or punch him through a wall, or any combination of the three. Just standing there and being silent suited him just fine. Squall stood at Motoko's bedside and pulled out a soft from his pocket (that's one thing I will never understand. At the end of FFVIII I had 99 of everything, even got the little pocket station and did the chocobo world thing. And all the stuff that was found, everyone was able to pull what ever item they needed out of their pocket when ever they needed.)

"I don't have a remedy, just great. And there's no way I'll use an ensuna spell, I only have a couple of those left," Squall said to himself. At that moment Kitsune walked through the door.

"Hey Shinobu how's Mo-" Kitsune cut herself off when she saw Squall.

Before Kitsune could make anything of it Shinobu scurried over to her side and whispered, "I think he's going to cure Motoko sempai"

"How do you know," Kitsune whispered back.

"I don't know," Shinobu whispered, "I just have this feeling."

Squall threw the soft over Motoko, instantly a thin ray of light hit her forehead. The stone shattered to reveal a perfectly preserved Motoko. The only thing amiss was that she was green, and a couple of other things like a black cloud over her eyes, and a thought bubble with dots, etc.

"Ok," Squall said to himself, "she's not red, that's good, very good. No time effect on her, she was a very skilled warrior to be able to withstand run away train and come off with a couple of minor status alignments."

"Uh, excuse me," Shinobu voice squeaked from behind Kitsune, "is she going to be alright?"

"She's going to be fine," Squall assured.

"If you don't mind me askin," Kitsune said stepping forward, "what is all that stuff around her?"

"Let's just say it handicaps the target," Squall answered.

"How," Kitsune and Shinobu asked at the same time.

"Things such as blindness, turning into stone, paralyzing, poison," Squall said not beating around the bush.

"POSION," Kitsune yelled, "you can fix her right!"

"Maybe we should just stand back and watch and let him finish," Shinobu said.

Squall threw an antidote over Motoko, the green faded instantly. Next was the echo screen, as soon as that affect hit Motoko hands quickly moved to cover her eyes. "Aaaaah! Blind!" Squall threw the eye drops, at soon as that hit Motoko shot up from her futon, "WANTA FANTA! DONCHA WHATA WANTA FANTA?"

Kitsune and Shinobu fell while Squall sweat dropped, "wow. That's some serious confusion. The only item that cures that is a remedy. And it's the worst case I've ever seen. So much for saving magic," Squall said talking to no one in particular. He rose is hand, "ensuna."

A few white sparkles came over Motoko. She stopped babbling like an idiot and rubbed her head a bit, "what happened," she asked as her eyes regain their focus. The first thing she saw was Squall, standing at her bedside. "YOU," she roared, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Her arm went to her hip by reflex to grab her sword.

"Motoko," Kitsune said stepping between Motoko and Squall, "its ok. He's not gonna hurt you, in fact he just saved your life."

'Saved….my….life,' Motoko's mind registered, "the idea of him hurting me is ludicrous," she scoffed.

'Is that so,' Squall questioned mentally.

"Look, maybe you should relax a bit and we'll talk this out later," Kitsune suggested.

"Maybe you're right," Motoko scoffed, "but if HE comes ten feet of me," she yelled.

"Don't worry, I'll keep my eye on him," Kitsune said, then herded everyone towards the door, "you just stay here and rest up."

"I'll come back here with something for you to eat," Shinobu said before the door shut.

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Aftermath: And there you have it, another chapter. Let me apologize for using the fanta commercial, I couldn't resist. :)