There's No Returning
It's nearing midnight, and the only light in the room is that of the moonlight – a stream of light filtering through the window. A man sits on the bed, his face buried in his hands. He's been like that for hours. A boy is peering through the crack in the door, simply looking at his brother. The boy's heart is broken, torn.
The boy – no, perhaps we should call him a teenager or a boy-who-is-almost-a-man-now – opens the door slowly, but can't stop the soft creaking sound it makes.
"Sirius?"
The man on the bed turns to look at who is calling his name. He smiles – only slightly, but nonetheless – when he sees his younger brother standing at his door.
"Hey, Regulus. What are you doing up so late?" There is a forced joviality to his voice.
"I…I heard Mum yelling before. I was…" He falters. "I was wondering how you were faring."
Sirius nods. "I'm fine. Go to sleep."
Regulus mumbles an assent, but remains there in the doorframe. Hesitantly, he enters into the room, his feet padding softly across the wooden floor.
"Sirius, you're not…you're not fine," he says when he's two feet away from Sirius.
"Let it be," says Sirius uncaringly.
"You're – you're bleeding, Sirius. You have gashes across your back! That's not something one normally calls fine." Regulus whispered loudly; he would have yelled, but he didn't want to wake his mother or his father.
Sirius is looking at the floor again. "You get used to it, after awhile, I s'pose."
The words are like a stab to his heart. How could he say it so casually – as if he didn't care, didn't care that his father was punishing him so unjustly?
"Sirius…" Regulus swallows. "Look at me."
Sirius looks up and meets his eyes. And suddenly, Regulus can't seem to find the words he had planned to say. "I can't just leave you like this," he says instead. "I care about you too much to do that, Sirius."
Sirius blinks and Regulus can see that his eyes are bright with unshed tears. Regulus remembers that Sirius doesn't like crying, because he thinks it shows weakness. Sirius swallows. "I'm leaving soon."
Regulus is surprised, but he doesn't try to talk Sirius out of it. He knows Sirius is stubborn. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to the… I…I can't tell you. You know Mum will come after me, or Dad will, at least."
"I won't tell them."
"I can't – Dad knows Legilimency."
Regulus simply nods, accepting his brother's silence. "I love you."
Sirius looks up, startled. The Black family rarely, if ever, used words like those. Especially that phrase. Then, he grins. "I love you too, Regulus." Sirius hugs Regulus, knowing that this will be the last time he sees his brother. Once the war intensified, which it undoubtedly would, it would be virtually impossible for them to remain…like family – unless Regulus went against his parents. And Sirius knew that once he left this house, there would be no returning to it.
"Are you leaving soon?" asks Regulus, looking at the clock.
Sirius looks away. "I s'pose. I have all of my stuff packed anyways."
"I'll see you off at the fireplace."
"You'll hear my destination," points out Sirius.
"I'll leave the room before you go."
Sirius nods. "All right."
Sirius picks up his suitcase and pulls on a jacket. He looks around the room one last time. It's neatly organized, and he's sure he has all the things he wants from this room. "Come on."
The two brothers go to the living room, where the fireplace is. Sirius puts his suitcase down in front of the fireplace, not quite ready to leave yet.
"Regulus –" Sirius pauses. "Regulus, I want you to… I want you to consider your options – your choices – carefully."
"Sirius, what are you –"
"Surely you've heard about a Dark Lord from your mates."
"I have."
"Consider your choices carefully; you can't change them once they've been made."
"It's only –"
"It's one of the most important decisions you'll make. It'll exemplify your beliefs, Regulus. Choose well. I don't…well, I suppose I do care what side you choose. But the more important thing is…choose the side you truly believe in." Sirius, who has been looking at the ground the whole time, looks up to meet Regulus' eyes again.
"Sirius…I don't know if I can."
"Believe in yourself, most of all, and then choose whichever side you want."
"I don't know what I want," whispers Regulus. "Sirius, don't leave."
"Regulus…I have to leave. I can't – I can't stay here anymore."
Regulus looks away.
"I…I'm sorry, Regulus."
"Good-bye, Sirius." Regulus darts forward to hug him one last time, and then rushes out of the room. Sirius can feel a little dampness on his left shoulder and he knows that Regulus was crying. He has an urge to run after Regulus, to comfort his brother. And he almost does.
But then he sees his suitcase lying against the fireplace. "Good-bye, Regulus." He grabs his suitcase and a handful of Floo Powder. He steps inside the fireplace, regretfully, and says his destination – Otter's Lake – with clarity. He watches the living room of his house spin blur away, and for once, he is unashamed to feel the tears falling from his eyes.
A/N: Just something I wrote, a spur-of-the-moment thing (kind of). The dialogue is kind of awkward, I think, but Sirius is trying to squeeze years worth of advice into that minute or two. Meh. As for pairings, in case anyone was wondering...it was originally supposed to be a Sirius/Regulus (by request of a friend). But I think, after I wrote it, it's not really that pairing in a romantic way or anything – just a brotherly love. Hehe. Anyways, please review and share your thoughts with me!
Bluu3