Thanks again for all your reviews. Definitely made me happy in my English class. :

Still don't own anything. Most unfortunately.

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"Does she have any family that you know of?" the nurse asked.

He shook his head. He didn't trust himself to say anything more. The nurse wrote something down and quietly slipped out of the room.

Derek sat down on the chair and sunk his head into his hands. He couldn't accept that it was her on the bed. It couldn't be. He shut his eyes to block his tears from falling.

'This isn't her. This is just a patient. Any minute now she's going to walk through that door to diagnose the patient.'

He took a deep breath.

'1…'

One for every second that passed.

'2…'

One for every moment they had shared.

'3…'

One for every time she smiled.

'4…'

One for every stolen kiss.

'5…'

One for every seductive glance from across the room.

'6…'

One for every single time he had thought about her.

'7…'

One for every time he should have told her.

'8…'

One for every time she had made an excuse to leave the room when he and Addison had walked in.

'9…'

One for the hurt in her eyes and her voice when he had left her behind…

'10…'

Derek opened his eyes and lifted his head up. He turned to the door. She wasn't going to walk through it. She was on the bed. She was the patient. Diagnosed to die alone.

'No. NO! I will not let her die alone.'

He took her right hand in his hand again and fingered the silver ring on her finger.

'No.. I will not let her die.'

"I know you can't hear me, but maybe… maybe you'll know that someone is here for you. You probably still hate me, and I don't blame you. I blame myself. I should have told you about her. I thought about it so many times. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid. I didn't want to ruin what we had. That night she came, I promised to myself, was going to be the night I was going to tell you. That was before I knew she was going to just show up. I was going to explain everything. How she slept with Mark. How I filed for divorce, but she refused the sign the papers. 'We can work through this Derek,' she said to me. How I left, because I wanted to get rid of her….…. I thought maybe you would understand."

'What am I thinking? Would I have understood if her husband had come up to me and accused me of sleeping with her?'

"Who am I kidding? You had a right to be angry. Addison shouldn't have said that. I was so mad at her when she came. I ignored her for days. Then I saw how it had affected you. You looked like a body without a soul. A rose without petals. A shell without it's pearl. It hurt me so much that I had done that to you. I knew you would never forgive me, so I assumed the end of my life as I knew it. I took Addi back. I sold the trailer and my land. I left my job, and I left you. I heard you that day. I heard you calling after me. 'What about the ferry boats?' you said. I should have come back. God, how I wish I would have. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe we both would have been happy. Well, I know I would have. I hope you are happy. I really hope you are. You deserve it. You deserve everything I could never give you. You deserve better than me. You don't deserve to be here in this hospital."

Tears started to form in his eyes again.

"You shouldn't be here. You never did anything wrong. I wish I was the one in the hospital instead of you. I wish I could have protected you. I wish I could have had one last night with you. I wish I hadn't left. I wish I would have left her when I had the chance. You are so much better, smarter, prettier… so much more than her. I wish you were here with me right now."

He put his head down on her bed and let them fall.

"You have to wake up. You cannot die on me. I need you. I can't go on without you. I never stopped loving you when I went back to Addi. You were like the treasure that disappeared because I had screwed up. I want the treasure back. I love you Mer."

He cried for his screw ups, for her, and for what could have been if he would have stayed in Seattle. He cried for what he had done to her and what he could never take back.

"You're wrong."

His head jerked up.

"Mer?"

"I could hear you," she said slowly, her lips moving painfully with every word.

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I know, I know… so predictable. I figured there had been enough depressing stuff. Derek might have killed himself if anything else bad happened.

R&&R, I'll love you forever:

Thanks—

Kayti 3