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Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to get this out there...busy with a lot of stuff and in all truthfullness, I forgot I was writing it. Hope you like it!

Chapter Four – Hermione
The World is Spinning

The world is spinning, and I'm standing still. Or maybe I'm spinning, and the world is standing still. I don't know. Either way, I'm dizzy and I feel like falling down, but there's nowhere to fall, because I'm in a field of thorns and no matter what I do, I'll be hurt.

Ever since Dumbledore's death, we've all been different. I'm so worried about Harry, but I seek my comfort in Ron – something I never would have done before. I even kissed his cheek the other day. I know, it's obvious to him that I like him, he must know. But why am I pursuing it? If he knows and isn't doing anything about it he must have a problem with it.

When we got home from King's Cross, it was a silent house. Ron and I caught eyes and grimaced at what a dismal summer it would be.

"You three must be absolutely famished!" said Mrs. Weasley as she bustled into the kitchen, trying to lighten up the mood but failing miserably.

"I'm not really very hungry," said Ginny.

"Me neither," Ron chimed in quietly.

I said nothing.

"Are you sure? They don't give you much food on the train to begin with, and they must have been in short supply, what with the train having to come early and all –"

"Really, Mum, we're fine," Ron said, irritation creeping into his voice. "I really just want to go upstairs and go to sleep."

Mrs. Weasley sounded offended as she said, "Well, alright then, have a good rest, dears."

I stayed behind while Ginny and Ron tromped moodily up the stairs, which creaked loudly. Once they were in their bedrooms, all was silent.

"Aren't you going up to bed too, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked me kindly.

"Not just yet – I'm going to make myself some tea," I said, standing up.

"No, no, don't be silly, I'll make it for you," she said, eager to help one of us out in some way.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," I said, sinking back into my chair.

After a good deal of silence (marred only by the sounds of the kitchen), Mrs. Weasley asked, "How are you feeling, Hermione? Are you alright?"

"I'm better than I could be, but I'm in a right state," I answered truthfully. "Nothing seems the same anymore. And I'm worried about Harry."

"So am I, dear. With Dumbledore gone, he's got little protection left. And he must be feeling so awful right about now," she said, bringing over my tea in a small mug and clutching a mug of her own. "Having to stay with those awful Muggles after something like this? Absolutely terrible."

"I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid when he gets out of there. Go chasing after Voldemort or something the second he's free. I wouldn't be surprised if he did, but I don't want him to all the same," I said as I breathed in the aroma of my tea.

"No, I don't want him to, either. The place I want him most is right here with us. That's where he belongs."

"Yes, this is where he belongs."

We drank the rest of the tea in silence, and when I was done, I stood and said, "I suppose I'll head up to bed now, too . . . I'm really quite tired."

"Alright, then, dear. I'll see you in the morning."

I went upstairs to the room that Ginny and I shared whenever I came to stay, passing the twins' room (in which Fred was lying in bed, twiddling his thumbs; George throwing a ball at the ceiling) and Ron's rooms on the way up. Ron's door was open, and he was lying on his side, facing the wall. I looked in for a second, but when I turned to leave the floorboards creaked and he flipped over and saw me standing in the doorway.

"I – I'm sorry," I stammered hurriedly. "I . . . I'll just . . . leave, I guess . . ."

"Was there something you wanted?" he asked as I took my first step out the door.

Other than you? asked the voice in my head. "No," I began. I stood there for a moment and thought about what I said, then changed my mind. "Yes, there are many things I want. I want Professor Dumbledore to be alive again. I want everyone to be happy. I want to go to bed tonight smiling instead of crying, wishing that things were different. I want Harry and Ginny to be back together so that Ginny won't be so quiet. I want everything to be back to the way it was when we were still at Hogwarts. But you can't change any of that, Ron."

Ron beckoned me into his room, sat up and patted the bed next to him for me to sit down. "No, you're right. I can't change any of it. I wish I could. There are so many things that would be different if Dumbledore hadn't died that night. So much bad happened in that one night, those few hours. I never thought bad could come that quickly and that much. But I guess it can."

"I just wish that we could make it all go away. I can make almost anything go away if I just swish my wand the right way and say the right incantation," I said, feeling defeated.

"There are some things magic can't fix, Hermione," Ron said. "You know that."

"I know," I said firmly. "But is there nothing we can do?"

Ron sighed. "Not now, I don't think."

"What about Harry?" I asked after a moment or two.

His face suddenly turned a little stonier as he said, "Don't worry about Harry. He's Harry Potter, after all – he can do almost anything."

"But he's still our friend, Ron. I have to worry about him."

He sighed again and said, "I suppose you do. But for now, don't worry about anything. Just pretend for a minute that things are okay and maybe when you wake up they'll be better."

I fell asleep in Ron's arms for the second time that night.