Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl and probably never will sigh
Note: OHG I am SO sorry for not updating this earlier! I cut my pinky really bad in science first period and had to be taken out of school to go to the emergency room! So I couldn't even WRITE much less type for like two weeks! So I'm really sorry, other chapters shouldn't take as long as this one.
Further note: I changed my pen name for no reason! Yay me!
Further further note: This chapter might be a bit tedious and boring, but it is essential to understand the next one! Stick with me here!
Switched
Chapter two
Holly stared, horrorstruck, at her reflection. She ran her hand through her now-black hair, touched her pale, cold cheek, and looked deep into her new dark blue eyes. That d'Arvitting centaur! Making them test a potion that did who knows what!
Meanwhile, her scream had attracted attention. Butler rushed in through the doorway with a huge Sig Sauer, looking frantically around. Holly, momentarily forgetting she was in Artemis's body, raised her arms in surrender. Normally she would have tried to take Butler on, but with the state of shock she was in paired with the tiredness of having just woken up, you can imagine.
Butler put his gun away, rushing to (who he thought was) his master's side. "What is it, Master Artemis?"
Holly could put two and two together. Butler would think she had come down with dementia if she told him what had happened. So she quickly thought of what Artemis would say. "It's quite all right, Butler. You may leave." Perfect. She sounded just like him.
"Hmmm…" Butler was still suspicious, but he left nevertheless, closing the door behind him.
Foaly had said the potion would only last 24 hours, but he had already made one mistake as to what the potion did, so who knew? Right now she had to try to contact Artemis- or herself. She had given Artemis a fairy communicator for his birthday (A/N: I'm twisting the facts from the end of TOD a bit), now she had to find where Artemis had hidden it. Probably in his room here, but she had no real way to know.
Holly (or should we say Artemis) got up from her bed and wondered briefly where this Mud Boy kept his clothes. Fairies don't have closets, you see, so naturally Holly was wondering. Eventually she found his formal suits, and changed into one, her body feeling strange. She thought about how Artemis was doing in her body, and in spite of the situation she was in, had to stifle a giggle.
Poor Artemis! Let's check on him:
Artemis took the body-switching part calmer than Holly did.
He woke up in Holly's body to her alarm clock. His first thought was, Funny… I can't remember installing an alarm clock…perhaps Butler or Juliet did while I was at Haven. In that case, I shall have to speak to them about going into my room without permission.
Artemis opened his eyes, and immediately noticed something wasn't right. Rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands, he checked to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. He noticed his skin was a nut-brown color. Gingerly, still not speaking, he felt his head. Something definitely was wrong. Running his hands through his new auburn hair, Artemis suddenly sat up.
Meanwhile, his alarm was still ringing. Artemis had never actually owned one before, but he knew how they worked. Pressing the off button, he began assessing the situation.
An unfamiliar scene met his eyes. He was in a small bed. As in, very small. How could he fit in it? Needless to say, he had never seen it before. There was a window, but it definitely wasn't morning sunshine that was pouring into his room. Plus, the air tasted stale and bitter. And why did his clothes smell different?
On the small desk next to the bed he was in was a picture of Holly, and a bottle of water. The paper wrapped around half of it said, 'Haven's Finest: Fairy Pure Water'. Artemis directed his gaze to outside his window. What he saw there confirmed what he already thought.
Artemis pulled back his blankets. He was clothed in something that definitely wasn't what he wore to bed last night, and was greeted with a body that wasn't his.
Artemis pulled his legs into a crossed position and began to meditate, though it felt different in this body.
Let's see, he thought. Where does Captain Short go in the mornings? Ah yes, to her office in the LEP. Doubtless I am being missed already. Now, because of the state I am in due to Foaly's potion, the best course of action would be to contact the captain, who I presume will be in my body. But how do I do it? I don't know where Holly keeps her fairy communicator, and mine is locked up in a safe, so she definitely won't be able to contact me.
A loud ringing noise disturbed his half-awake state. Navigating the source of the noise was easy. Artemis's 'borrowed' lips curved into a smile. Good. Now he had found the communicator. It had been under the mattress. But who was calling him? It couldn't be Holly.
Artemis switched the communicator on, and was met by the not-so-pleasant sight of a certain red-faced commander. "CAPTAIN SHORT!" he roared. "WHY UNDER THE EARTH ARE YOU STILL NOT HERE!" Spit flew from his mouth onto the screen.
"Commander sir, may I talk to Foaly?"
"ANSWER THE QUESTION, SHORT!" So much for that. Time to try a new tactic.
"Ah, I overslept-"
"SHORT! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BEHIND IN MY OFFICE IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, YOU'RE FIRED!" The commander terminated the line. That didn't go so well.
Back to Holly:
Holly had no idea what Artemis did in the mornings besides eat, so she began rummaging around in his drawers, scrounging his room for what she really needed- that communicator. So far, she hadn't been successful. She had to admit, that Mud Boy was smart.
She paused for a moment to take a sip of Artemis's Poland Spring water, then grasped her throat and choked. The water tasted awful. She tried to swallow without actually tasting. Not an easy thing to do. Mud Men. Such barbarians. Even their 'pure spring water' had been polluted.
Suddenly the sound of Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons' filled the room. Startled, Holly's first thought was that someone else was in the room with her. She turned around, but she was alone.
The music continued for a while, sounding muffled as if someone had tried to smother it with a pillow. Then, the sound was abruptly cut off with a loud beeeeep. Her own voice filled the room, sounding strange and unsure.
"Captain Short. It's me, Artemis. I realize the…awkward situations we are in. look under the rug, center panel. The code is 6-36-19. I repeat, 6-36-19." Click. Stupid Mud Boy. Looked like he had found her communicator. He had a horrendous ring tone though.
What had he said? Under the rug. It was a circular, silky material with strange designs on it, and it was right in front of the bed. Holly rolled it up and tosses it to one side. Now, center panel. It didn't look all that special. Just another piece of wood. Of course, that made the possibility that Artemis was hiding something under it much more likely. She felt at the edges, and tried pulling the panel up. No dice.
For the next five minutes Holly tried every way she thought of to find what was under the panel (including stomping on it) and she still couldn't open it. Finally, she was about to give up and call it a day when the panel suddenly slid open.
Ooo-kay. Underneath the wood was a metal safe. It was small, just big enough to hide a fairy communicator. Smiling widely, Holly twisted and twirled the locks to the numbers that Artemis had told her. Soon the communicator was lying before her.
It was on. Clearly Artemis wanted her to contact him. Punching in her own number, she only had to wait one ring before she was staring at her own face.
"Mud Boy."
"Holly."
"Oh, when I get my hands on that centaur-"
"Captain, you must remain calm. No one will believe our stories, no matter how convincing we are. Hold on, call waiting, it's Root. Maybe we can get him to join the conversation…"
Suddenly her screen split in two- Artemis on one side, and what appeared to be a very ripe tomato on the other (hehe, I love making fun of Root).
"SHORT! Have you been talking to this Mud Boy all this time? Is that why you're late!" the commander looked like he was going to explode.
Still thinking of herself as Holly Short, captain of the LEP, Holly made the mistake of answering. "No commander sir, it's not Artemis."
Root turned his head towards her screen. "Do you think this is funny, Mud Boy? You can tell the captain to hang up and leave if she wants to keep her job."
"Commander sir, may we speak to Foaly?" On the other screen, Artemis (in Holly's body) nodded.
"What has the pony done to make both of you want to talk to him so bad?" the commander said as Foaly slid into the small view screen.
"That's my cue! Excuse me commander for a moment." They had a brief view of Foaly shooing the commander out his own office door, then he said, "Well?"
"Don't well me, Foaly! You know perfectly what, you deranged, d'Arvitting-" Holly promptly covered her mouth. Artemis was only fourteen, after all.
Artemis picked up where Holly had left off, but in a calmer manner. "Foaly, I don't know what you expected to happen, but this isn't it. Your potion was disastrous, instead of hearing each others' thoughts we are in each other's bodies."
For a moment Foaly looked confused, then his face split into a wide smile. "Oh, I get it! Sorry guys, but no dice!' Holly and Artemis looked confused. "Compliment my genius all you want! I see you've learned to communicate with your new mind-links!" The baffled elf and human finally got it. Foaly thought they were pranking him! The nerve! "Enjoying your new abilities? Most fairies would kill to have them, you know."
Holly muted her end of the call and proceeded to mutter unholy words.
There you go! Next chapter will be way more exciting, as they actually have to go through the day! It'll be question marks for everyone, especially Butler and Root!
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