Sara's (Sorta) Secret Admirer
Sure, they've all joked that I like her, but nobody actually believes it. It's just a way to tease me for them. Well, of course I like her, I work with her. We're friends. But I do like her as more than that. I am in love. Completely, utterly, in love. With Sara Sidle.
I realize I'm probably not exactly her type. I'm likely not even close to being her type. Sara's a bit of a work-a-holic, and, while I get it done, I do tend to goof off a little bit. But only a little. Just don't ask any of my co-workers about that last statement, they might not agree.
Back to Sara, she is just so unbelievably beautiful. Not to mention she is a great CSI. I guess I kind of admire her. I'm not a shrink, but sometimes, it's easy to tell that she hasn't had a perfect life. And if you've ever seen her work a difficult case, you know what I mean when I say that she gives it her all. Sara throws her heart and soul into getting the bad guy. It's almost as if she thinks her job is the only thing she's got on this earth. But it's not.
She's got Catherine, who looks out for her like a little sister. She's got all the guys who work in the lab, and the morgue, and uptown. And what about that medic-friend of hers? What's his name? Oh ya - Hank… never liked him personally. But most importantly, she's got me.
If only she'd realize that we are perfect for each other. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I just wish she loved me back. But that'll never happen. She's out of my league. Way out of my league.
It's not like I've never tried before. Like once, I asked Catherine if there was any chance Sara would go to dinner with me. She told me as long as Sara didn't know it was a date, I would be fine. But Sara's too smart not to realize it would have been a date, so I didn't bother asking.
Then there was another time when Grissom and I were talking, and happened upon the subject of Sara. I had watched her basically confess her love for him (without their knowing - so please don't tell them) a few days ago. He had brushed her off. I felt like screaming 'Sara, ask me to go to dinner with you! I would never turn you down like that!' But only I couldn't, or else I would have been accused of spying on them. So ya, Gris and I were talking about her, and he said something stupid and cryptic (as usual) that I didn't get at the time. But I understand it now.
"Greg, sometimes, if you know you are doomed to fail, you unleash something in what you will fail at in order to help the next, who is maybe not so doomed to fail."
That's what he told me. I didn't exactly over-analyze it right then and there. I mean, I don't listen to him half the time we talk. He's getting old, and Brass is the only one who agrees with me that he might be going senile. But I remembered it a few days later, and thought about it hard. He must have been talking about Sara, and what would have been a sucky relationship between the two of them. But what did he unleash? And who's the next?
So after three and a half hours of sitting though MacGyver reruns, thinking, I might have figured something out. I have no clue what sort of trouble my child-hood hero got himself into or out of, but I came closer to understanding a Grissom-ism.
He figured out that I like Sara, and said or did something to make her notice that she harbored secret feelings for me. So he rejected her… to give me a chance with her. That didn't really make sense… I guess in a way, it did… but still.
Just a few short weeks after I came to this realization, there came a day when I was feeling particularly lucky. I'd psyched myself up all day to ask Sara to dinner. I remember every moment of that day, nearly a month ago, perfectly, as if it were yesterday.
Our shifts finished at the same time. As I was going into our locker room, she was leaving it.
"Hey Sara, wait up a second!" I said just as she brushed pass me.
"Make it snappy, I'm meeting someone across town in 45 minutes, and traffic'll be a bugger." I muttered something about forgetting what I was going to say and whatever it was could wait until tomorrow. She just looked at me as if I were losing it and left. I probably was losing it, actually. Great, huh?
I was heart-broken form that encounter. So heart-broken, in fact, that I've never tried to ask her out again.
Until today, that is.
I know for a fact that within the next half hour, she will be walking into the lab. So as I compared some fibers Catherine barked at me to help her with, I'm planning what I'm going to say. 'Hey Sara, how about grabbing a bite to eat after work?' or maybe, 'Hey Sara, you busy later?' No, I don't like either of those. 'Hi Sara, I was wondering if you'd like to go get a coffee or something after this shift?' Ergg! Why do none of these seem right? How about this one: 'Sara, I am madly in love with you and if you don't say you'll go on a date with me, I will stab myself to death with these scissors!' Okay, that would defiantly not work.
I was so busy thinking (what a change) that I hardly noticed Sara walk in behind me.
"Hey, wow, you're in ahead of me today. That's never happened before." She said with a laugh. Oh God, what a gorgeous laugh. It doesn't matter that she was just using it to imply that I am almost never on time for work (which is true). If it made her laugh, I would never show up ahead of her again. I'd do anything to see her smile. I really am losing it.
She was leaning over my shoulder, watching me work – a popular pastime here – when I remembered my dilemma.
"Umm, Sara…" I started nervously. Really nervously.
"Ya." She looked at me expectantly. She probably thought I was going to use one of my regular lines about work not getting done any faster when she was hovering over my shoulder.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. So I took a deep breath.
Get a grip on yourself, and tell her how you feel, Greg. It's now or never.
A/N: What did you think? How obvious was it that it was Greg before the last line? Should I leave it like this, or write another chapter, to see what happens?
Please be gentile, it's my first stab at writing CSI fanfic.