Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters and plot. Everything else belongs to someone else, they know who they are.

My Life As A Cat

Cat sat on the couch and watched Mariemaia who was reading a book with interest, glancing over at her after ever page to make sure she was where she was suppose to be, Cat supposed as she watched the girl glance at her before turning back to her book. Mariemaia had actually tried to get her to play with string earlier but Cat had made it quite clear that she had no intention on chasing after the damn thing and the kid had clued in fairly quickly. They'd watched a bit of tv for a while but there was really nothing on but soaps and nauseating kiddie shows so they'd ditched that too. Now Maia was reading and she was stuck doing nothing as she couldn't exactly ask Maia for a book to read. Wondering what the girl would do if she batted one of the other books over and started reading Cat had to grin even if it was a feline version of it and not really noticeable.

"Hey you two, how's it going?" Quatre asked as he came walking in looking a tad stressed and ruffled as he loosened his tie which Cat could easily understand. She'd never quite understood the purpose of the stupid things and why guys wore them. I mean how smart could you be starting off your day by tying a noose around your neck willingly. "I hope she's been behaving for you."

"Of course, she's been a perfect lady." Mariemaia said with a smile and a pat on Cat's head which made the cat itchy to claw something to shreds then do a dance around said destroyed object. She'd never been a toucher even when she'd been human, all the affection she'd been getting as a cat was rather disturbing. "Tough day?" Maia asked sympathetically, well aware of the strain and stress involved with being in the world of politics. The world she'd been a part of since she was a child whether she liked it or not.

"That's the polite way of describing it." Quatre said with a rueful look as Mariemaia laughed at his words. It was rare for Quatre to say damn much less some of the other four letter words that might have helped him be more descriptive of how his day was going. "She must really like you if she's being so well behaved." Quatre added as he wandered over to take a seat beside his cat, picking her up to set her in his lap while he gently stroked her fur. "I guess we know who to call whenever we need a cat sitter."

"Does that mean you guys are going to keep her?" Maia said with a hopeful look in her eye. She'd ask to take in the cat if the guys didn't want her but there housekeeper was allergic to animal fur and would break out in hives trying to clean up the house. Therefore Maia wanted the boys to keep the cat so that she could visit Sassy and baby-sit her. Maia didn't know what it was about the cat but she just felt safer and more at ease when the cat was in the room. It was silly but since she was rarely silly Maia figured there was no harm in it.

"Well if might take some slight convincing with Heero, Wufei and Trowa but I think I can bring them around this time. I think they like her they're just to-well themselves to admit it." Quatre said with a wink as he continued to stroke Cat's back who was trying to pretend she wasn't enjoying it which she was. "But luckily none of the guys are allergic to animals and she isn't in the habit of destroying their stuff so I figure there's a good chance it will all work out in the end. I'll do my best to see that it does anyway but I don't anticipate a problem. She's our only female member of our house at the moment and I think its about time we had one around to keep us in line." Quatre said with a chuckle.

"I heard Dorothy's been complaining about her to my mom..because of the whole skirt thing and the fact that you yelled at her when she was threatening to hurt Mao." Mariemaia said hesitantly, wondering if that would make them less likely to take the cat since they had to work with Dorothy and would need her help when it came to certain bills and politicians. "I told her that Mao was a good cat and that she really wouldn't hurt anyone but she wouldn't listen to me and said I was biased because I have a thing for animals staying alive and she has a thing for them dead and wearing them as coats."

"Don't worry about it, Maia." Quatre said with a sigh thinking of the glares he'd been getting from the lady in question since the whole skirt and yell incident. "If anything the guys like her more because of it. She'll cool down eventually and so long as she and Sassy don't get into any more..fights I'm sure everything will be fine. I mean its not like it's war between them, Sassy is just a cat after all and Dorothy's a full grown adult."

Quatre, Quatre, so very, very naive, Cat thought with a roll of her eyes as she stared up at the blonde who like most of the females with his hair color was absolutely clueless. Well of course it was war, what else would it be? A cheerful friendship? It was war baby and Cat had every intentions on winning every single battle. So far she'd won both matches but Cat wasn't stupid enough to think that the blonde haired witch would give up that easily. Oh no Cat had no doubt that the woman was plotting all sorts of horrible things to do to her as Quatre and Maia spoke. What evil thoughts were going through that ugly barbie's head right about now. Wait..what was she thinking..an intelligent female blonde...yeah right. Well of course there were exceptions to every rule but Dorothy didn't seem like one. Maybe the woman was nuts and had an angel and a devil on each shoulder telling her what to do. It would explain why she was insane enough to think those eyebrows looked good on her. Then again except for Maia the whole family had had the weird eyebrow thing going..of course Treize hadn't exactly been the smartest guy either in Cat's opinion.

"Well you never know, every time someone came by and commented that she was the cat that got Dorothy she's growled at the name and purred when they laughed about what she did to Dorothy." Maia said with a slight smile on her elfish face. When she'd heard about the incident she'd thought it sounded hilarious but knew better then to say so to anyone. Instead she'd just mentioned it in her diary and had doodled a picture of the incident which wasn't that great but cracked her up every time she saw it. "Cats are very intelligent creatures you know even though they don't do tricks and stuff like dogs."

"And she is the type to hold a grudge..aren't you, Sassy." Quatre said thinking about the way she'd avoided him after taking her to the doctor for her shots. He'd had to bribe her with two cans of tuna with mayo in it before she'd even let him pick her up while she was awake. "And unless I can find out where Duo's hiding his copies of the whole skirt incident this dislike between them is going to escalate to all out hatred."

You'll never find it, Q man, Cat thought with a smirk knowing exactly where Duo was keeping two copies of the lovely event. Quatre would never look in Heero's room because you'd have to be suicidal to go into Heero's room without asking and the guy was called the perfect soldier for a reason. Hence why Duo was paying Heero to let him keep the tapes in there, Cat thought with a snicker that sounded more like a cough reminding her again of another reason why she would be killing God when she saw him next. Hairballs. The grossest, most disgusting thing she'd ever seen and it had come out of her that morning before breakfast. The feeling of choking up one of those things would live in her memory for the rest of her life and just looking at that thing had put her off grooming herself for the rest of her cat life. She'd managed to swat the thing out of the house before the guys saw it and she was determined for it to make sure that it never happened again so help her god. And he wouldn't help her at all since he was the one who made cats do such disgusting things in the first place.

"Duo's got tapes..of what happened?" Maia said in surprise, imagining what Dorothy would do to the long haired pilot when she found out about it.

"Yeah..and I think he's planning on selling them to people." Quatre said with a wince as he remembered the phone call he'd overheard between Duo and someone the night before. He had a really bad feeling that Duo was starting to take orders for the tape. Lord help them all, especially Duo if Dorothy found out about it. "Hopefully he'll realize what Dorothy will do to him before it's too late and he can't take it back."

"Yeah." Maia agreed and secretly made a note in her head to ask Duo about getting a copy. Her mother wouldn't approve but Maia would keep it well hidden to watch whenever she needed some cheering up. "She wouldn't be pleased."

Ha if I were able I'd buy a copy and send it to anyone who'd ever even met the bitch, then they'd see who was the one getting put down, Cat thought smugly as she pictured such a beautiful world as that. In fact she'd go one step further and put it on the Internet so that she could reach everyone in the known world and make the idiot die of shame or from one of the guys shooting her to protect their poor innocent little kitty cat, Cat thought with a maniacal laugh.

"Do you have something stuck in your throat, Sassy?" Quatre asked thinking that the noise she's made was very close to an evil laugh which was down right freaky. "For a minute she sounded down right evil, like she was laughing like one of those cartoon villains on tv. It was almost like she could understand we were talking about what she did to Dorothy."

"Yeah, it was kinda scary." Maia agreed as they both looked down at the cat who seemed to radiate an evil happiness that was just plain messed coming from a fluffy cat that looked like she belong sitting on some matron's lap with a bright pink bow around her neck. "Maybe in a past life she was exposed to the Zero system." Maia said, referring to the way the system tended to do a lot of damage to the pilot and cause them to go a tad crazy. Picturing Sassy inside of a Gundam wearing a mini piloting suit blowing things up Maia had to snicker and chuckle at the idea and the fact that she could actually see it was disturbing as well as hilarious. "Now she would have been a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield."

"Oh yeah..nothing but debris after she was done." Quatre agreed as he joined Maia in her laughter while Cat sent them dirty looks.

Later that day

Cat figured it was a good thing for everyone that she was a cat otherwise she'd be throwing a fit the likes of which had never before been seen by the eyes of man. There they were, sitting around the table drinking wine, munching on snacks and playing poker. Now this of course wasn't what bothered her, what bothered her was that she couldn't play or at the very least sit down with Duo and explain to him that the object was not to give away what kind of a hand you had. The guy was easier to read then a kid's picture book and his money was going to be all gone shortly as a result. Quatre was only a bit better while the other three were sharks with their perfect poker faces and cutthroat attitude. Now they were real gamblers, they were practically taking advantage of the other two. Literally banging her head against the table after Quatre lost another hand the only thing stopping her from doing real damage was Duo who'd put his hand where she'd been hitting her head as padding. Duo had decided to try to use her as a lucky charm..the dumb idiot needed all the luck he could get, Cat thought sourly.

"So, Wufei, what's up with the lovely Sally today? She seemed really out of it and upset about something." Duo said as he stroked the cat's fur while he waited for it to be his turn. "I saw her just before I left and I don't even think she heard me say good bye and I walked right past her."

"She was distracted all this morning, staring into space and getting distracted by everything other then our work." Wufei grumbled though he was a bit worried about his partner too though he wasn't about to admit it. It wasn't like Sally to be so out of it though and Wufei wondered if perhaps something had happened to upset her. He could just ask her tomorrow but that would be prying and he wasn't nosey. If she wanted him to know she'd tell him.

"Well did you ask her what was wrong?" Quatre asked then remembering who he was talking to and reading Wufei's expression got his answer. "You should have asked her, Wufei." Quatre said with a hint of censor. "She is your friend and partner after all."

Sending Quatre an annoyed look Wufei discarded two cards and went back to looking at his hand without saying anything. Cat wondered what was bothering the older woman but it wasn't her business after all and therefore she would keep her wet nose out of it. She could see Wufei's and Quatre's points but she had to lean with Wufei. After all she was a cat but you didn't see her whining for help did you? Sally was a big girl and quite capable of taking care of herself in Cat's opinion. Quatre wasn't giving the girl enough credit.

In Purgatory

"Well so far your fitting in nicely, Cat." Colin said as he sat on a cloud watching Cat interact with the five men she'd ended up with. They'd gotten off to a rocky start and Colin had been more then worried a time or two but now it seemed that Cat had found her niche and was happy as a clam. How did one determine the happiness of a clam, Colin wondered completely forgetting about his charge for a moment as he wondered that before turning his attention back to watching his girl watch the boys play poker. He'd been a pretty good player once upon a time, boy would be have ever trounced all over Winner and Maxwell that was for sure.

"Your charge is doing better then what was expected." Saint Peter said as he came up behind Colin who just barely managed not to fall backwards with shock at the unexpected appearance of one of the big guys important angels. "She's behaving even if she isn't doing much else."

"Well it's a bit hard to go out and do good when you're trapped in the body of a cat, Sir." Colin pointed out as he defended Cat since she wasn't here to defend herself. "And she is doing good, look how much happier the pilots have been since she got there. Wufei's actually playing cards with them without having to be nagged into it."

"And soon they'll lose her when her time runs out." Peter pointed out pessimistically which Colin knew was true even though he wished it didn't have to be that way. "You have yourself a difficult assignment in her, do the best that you can..with her that's all you can expect." Peter added before disappearing in a bright light.

"She'll show you..she'll show all of you." Colin muttered as he looked back at the cat who'd jumped off of Duo's lap to get some water from her bowl. "She'll get into heaven if it's the last thing I do."