Author's Note: This is my First fanfiction and I just wrote it on a whim because I thought I really needed to finally write something and this is what came out. Tell me how you like it by reviewing please it will help my self esteem and hopefully inspire me to write more. This was beta'd by my best mate Sabryna Black so if there are in grammatical mistakes it's her fault.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters. I wish I did, but alas I do not so don't sue me if you don't like it.

HOPE by Potter Evans Lily

What on Earth have I done? All you ever did was love me and what did I do? I threw it all away. I threw away the only thing that ever made me happy.

Your golden tan skin, your strong jaw, your soft pink lips, your bright green eyes, and even your stupid lightening scar.

How could I be so stupid? Why did I push you away? I'll tell you why, because I was scared that's why.

We started out as enemies all because you rejected my offer of friendship. You rejected me so I decided to make your life a living hell. To get on your every last nerve, and it worked. I could get under your skin like no one else.

Then you came back after you battled the Dark Lord yet again in our fifth year, lost your godfather, and landed my father in prison. I hated you even more.

Then that summer everything changed. Without my father around I relised I was free. And life was better without him. All I was to him was an heir anyway.

When I saw you on the platform that September, standing there with the Weasels and the Mudblood, I knew I'd changed. You had gone from being a skinny, underfed, attention-seeking prat to the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

We stopped insulting each other in the corridors. We even held a few civil conversations. We were forced to share a desk in Potions, much to my delight and to your supposed disgust.

In the middle of that year you defeated the Dark Lord at last. Everyone praised you, the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Finally-Kick-Voldemort's-arse. We finally decided to put aside all our differences and form a friendship.

Our friendship quickly turned into something more when we relised how much we had in common.

You became my lover, my soul, my life, my everything. And I got scared. I made you hurt in the worst way possible. I told you, you were just a fling, another notch on my belt, meaningless sex, a project.

I saw the tears pool in your startling green eyes, I watched them fall on your perfect cheeks. I felt my heart break. I left you broken and nothing has ever felt worse.

But I'm not brave like you are. I was scared that I was falling in love with you, which I was… am… have. Malfoys aren't supposed to fall in love.

Now you won't look at me in the halls, not even a glance. No more accidental touches, not ever. I see the pain I caused you, that I still cause you everyday and it makes me just want to cry.

I'm lost without you. I need you. I have to fix this but I don't know how. I can't live without you. I'm like this because of three little words I couldn't say. I can't stand to feel this way, without your arms around me, without your voice whispering in ear, without your kisses, and, most of all, without your love. You save me, from the depression I've created within myself.

I just hope I'm not too late. I hope I haven't lost you forever. I hope you haven't found another. I'll say I love you a million times if you'll just take me back. I can't be too late. I just can't.

I'm afraid. Will I ever hold you again? Will I get to look into your emerald eyes again? Will you ever hold me and kiss me again? Will you ever make love to me again?

I hope so.

THE END/FIN which ever you prefer.

A/N: I have a sequel in mind but will only post it/write if you guys review and say you want one.