Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but my original characters and my messed up plots. I really hope you enjoy and that you'll review because I love to hear from my readers.

Dedicated to Jessie, happy birthday little sister

Objective: Kill Cuddles

Cuddles had sealed his fate and was going to die. Cat didn't know when and she didn't know how but she was going to take that fat cat out before she went to hell and that was that. The problem was that the cat never left his house and she couldn't risk getting trapped inside, forced to take Cuddles place as the old lady's victim. Plus she couldn't smoke him out because though arson wouldn't be hard to pull off there was the fact that she couldn't quite justify killing an old lady even if she was a dotty old evil cat naming sadist. Though there was a family four doors down that had a Doberman come to think of it..maybe she could lure the dog over to the old lady's house, get him inside and let the laws of nature take it's course. That could work couldn't it? But how would she get the dog in and for that matter how would she not get hurt in the process of getting said dog into the house since there wouldn't be a doggy door or anything since Cuddles didn't go outside anyway. Damn if she were still human she could take that cat out so easily it would make taking candy from a baby look difficult. She was a top paid assassin, she took people out for a living for Christ sakes and now look at her..she couldn't even take out one fat, brainless cat. Hey maybe she could get online and pay someone to do it? She could use a pen or something to push the keys even though it would take forever and be hard on her teeth. Then again it would take so long the deal would probably fall through while she was trying to pen type. Maybe she could poison the bugger? Naw, that was too easy and besides given how much fat the cat had it would likely take way more poison then she could get her paws on to take him out. Damn.

)

"Hey Trowa, Mrs. Holmes just called to tell us that she's left Cuddles at the house while she goes to visit that lady in the hospital again. She wants me to go over in an hour to check on him so can you remind me please?" Duo suddenly called out from the other room and hearing Trowa call out an affirmative Cat felt a truly Grinch like smile come over her face. Bingo. You're a rotten, little cat, Cat thought in her head, practically rubbing her paws together before taking off towards the front door, placing her paws on it and whining as pitifully as she could manage.

Hearing the noise she was making Trowa walked into the front hallway and raised an eyebrow at the cat. Obviously she wanted out but why? Maybe she'd seen a squirrel in the front yard and wanted to maul it, Trowa thought as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You want to go out..fine but you're going into the back yard." Trowa decided picking her up and walking through the house came to a stop at the patio doors and opening it set her down on the wooden porch. "I'll come get you in an hour when it's time to remind Duo. Behave." Trowa ordered then closed the door behind him.

So I have exactly one hour in which to kill Cuddles before I'm discovered missing, Cat thought as she climbed down off the porch to find the best way to get out of the backyard and then across the street to complete her assassination of the evil Cuddles. Wandering around for a while Cat finally found a way to squeeze through the fence and into their next door neighbor's yard. Not bothering to be mindful of the flower beds she was trampling through with its few remaining flowers Cat swung her tail back and forth merrily as she walked across the lawn and without difficulty was on the neighbor's front lawn staring at the enemy stronghold. All set to go about her mission Cat came to a grinding stop at the incredible sight before her, were it possibly her jaw would have hit the pavement. A little boy, around two maybe was out on the front driveway on some sort of trike unsupervised and rolling his way towards cars that could flatten him like a pancake. Wandering over Cat finally saw the mother sitting in a lounge chair reading a book while her kid kept going closer and closer to the end of the drive and if Cat could have yelled at her oh the woman would die of fright. Looking at the street, one which generally had steady traffic Cat felt all the fur on her body stand up at how close the kid was getting to being smushed. Running down the drive Cat meowed loudly and nearly got on her knees and gave thanks when the kid stopped pushing his trike forward, his attention for the moment on her instead of the brightly covered cars. 'Come on kid, come back up the drive to your mother who is the one that deserves to get run over.' Cat thought as she tried to think of what to do and as if the boy heard her he got off the trike and toddled over to her, flopping down on his butt in front of her with a wide, jelly and peanut butter smeared grin. Weary now Cat was all set to bolt when the kid's head turned at the sound of a big truck coming by, his eyes shining at the sight of the big truck. Seeing the boy's fascination Cat leapt into the boy's lap and began meowing as if her life depended on it while in fact the kids did since she couldn't even physically stop him. Completely forgetting about the truck now that the pretty kitty was in his lap the boy turned his attention to stroking the kitty with jelly smeared hands giving her fur purplish tinges here and there as he went about petting the pretty kitty who put up with it in sheer desperation. Ten minutes later she was ready to scream since every time she left the boy's lap to go about her business he just got back to his feet and headed towards the truck and the big playpen in the sky. In other words she had to stick with him or watch him beat her to final judgment.

)

"Michael, get away from that filth animal." Came a female voice and Cat turned her head to see the neglectful mother finally off her ass and making her way over with a scowl on her face. "I've told you not to touch animals without my permission now let that cat go now."

"Pretty kitty." The boy, Micheal said as he snuggled the kitty against him. "Mine."

"Not yours." The mother said bending over and taking Cat out of the boy's arms stood up then threw Cat onto the nearby grassy lawn. "Now scat you." The woman said as she wagged a finger at Cat even as her son burst into tears and tried to make his way back over to Cat only to be scooped up by his mother who carried him back towards the house while he bawled his eyes out, his arms out stretched towards Cat as if begging her to follow and damn if she wasn't tempted to and not just to spite the mother.

'When you get to Hell, lady I'll be waiting for you and then we'll see who goes away crying their eyes out.' Cat thought with a scowl, feeling more then a little sorry for the kid. Her own mother had ditched her when she was about that kid's age, obviously she'd been luckier then this little guy. Come to think of it though God probably would have a nice place in heaven for her where she could sit around and read all the books she wanted. After all who cared if the mother was neglectful when the bitch likely had a perfectly ordinary job and went to church every Sunday. Well saint she was not but at least she'd never thrown animals around or neglected a child in her care. Okay so maybe no one had ever put a kid in her care but if they did she would have taken good care of them, Cat thought with a dark look. Cuddles wasn't the only one that needed to be dealt a can of whoop ass. Turning around Cat stuck her tail up straight into the air as her version of the middle finger then proceeded down the driveway, pass the trike and onto the sidewalk with only a slight stretch of road to get passed before she was on the lawn of her target. Watching the cars whiz by though was giving her second thoughts. Every time she set her front paws down to cross another car came into view that was likely to turn her into road kill no matter how fast she was. Cursing Cat gave up and walked to the end of the block to the lights. Sitting there Cat stared at the red hand and willed it to go to a white figure walking but no matter how much she mentally urged it to change it seemed like an eternity before it was safe to walk. Walking across the road Cat was extremely conscious of all the cars revving their engines, too far up to even know she was there. Walking a little faster then usual she breathed more then one sigh of relief when she made it to the other side.

)

Now on the other side Cat walked down the block until she came to Cuddle's house, pleased that her mission was nearly over. Staring at the house up close though Cat was surprised to see that it wasn't in great condition and looked almost neglected. There were leaves everywhere that almost hid the fact that the grass hadn't been cut in a long time. It was near impossible to see the path to the front door in fact. The hedges needed clipping too and though there were withered flowers in the flower beds there were just as many weeds too. Didn't the woman take care of her house at all? Cat thought as she looked around her in confusion. For that matter where were the relatives that were supposed to be doing it for the old bat? You would think that the woman would have someone who would come to look after her if they weren't willing to fork up the money for an old people's home. The paint was peeling for Christ sakes. The woman hadn't seemed like the type to let things go though and weren't old people supposed to be obsessed with the way things looked and were presented? Or maybe she was just too dotty to notice, Cat thought though she couldn't shake the feeling that that wasn't the case. Strolling around to the back of the house Cat found the backyard to be just as bad and as the grass was almost as high as her head she could kind of see why Cuddles didn't go outside. Making her way to the back door Cat was surprised to find that there was a doggy door there as if waiting for her to provide her entrance. Obviously one of the previous owners had had a dog, Cat surmised before walking through the door to find herself in the kitchen. It was pretty bare but relatively clean with the smell of Mr. Clean in the air which was a nice change from the smelling of rotting leave in the backyard. Walking around Cat took in her new surrounds before walking through the house until she came into a living room. Meowing in the hopes of drawing out Cuddles Cat kept a weary eye out for trouble, opting to climb up and onto one of the faded old couches to get a better view of the lay of the land. Climbing up Cat looked around before coming face to face with a table behind the couch filled with picture frames. Curious Cat looked from one end to the other watching as pictures of the dotty old lady with her guy and children then watched as it went from the big family to just her and her husband with the last few just the lady and a progressively fatter Cuddles. Where were the pictures of her grown up kids and her grandchildren, Cat wondered as she tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. She could understand the old guy out of the picture due to having croaked but what about the kids? All the old ladies she'd ever known loved to show off pictures of their grandchildren, you couldn't stop them . So where were those pictures? More then a little confused Cat forgot about her mission and went about looking for pictures or some sign that the lady had more family then the stupid cat but no matter how hard she looked she couldn't find one picture drawn by a child or even cookies waiting for a small guest to eat them. From the looks of it Cuddles was it.

)

Now that was a problem, Cat thought with a dark look as she sat on the first step leading upstairs having searched all the other rooms on the first floor for him. For all intents and purposes the tub of lard was all this woman had and if that was true then what kind of a monster killed that cat knowing what it would do to the woman? She had admittedly done some pretty low and bad things but killing an old lady's cat, her only family in the world was just low, way lower then she'd ever gone. Of course she did have a sister apparently but that didn't mean she was close to said sister or that the sister even bothered to visit. What if the old lady up and died from grief if Cuddles prematurely kicked the bucket with a little help? Damn it but now she couldn't kill him. At least until she was sure without a doubt that the old lady would be fine without the fluff ball. Decision made Ca t moved to head out then pausing decided that it wouldn't hurt to check in on Cuddles while she was there. After all if she couldn't kill him no one and nothing but old age would. Hopping up the steps Cat went in search of the cat sumo wrestler wannabe and finally found him in the old lady's room, stretched out on what Cat assumed was its bed but looked more like a shrine to Satan. Frilly pink stuff everywhere, Cat thought in horror as she stared at the pink cat basket that was draped in frilly pink fabric and was something out of a horror movie. Too much pink, must not look or risk being turned into zombie, Cat thought as she backed up, her horror plain as she turned tail and ran out of the room, down the stairs and didn't stop till she was back on the main floor. My eyes, need new eyes, Cat thought as she shuddered, refusing to even look up the stairs where the horror sat waiting. Eager to leave now Cat went out the way she'd come in and when Trowa came out to get her she was waiting for him in the backyard on the porch looking as innocent as..well a kitten.

)

"What on earth." Trowa said as he leaned down to pick her up, only to see the purple splotches all over her fur. "Did you get into wet paint?" Trowa wondered then looking closer realized that it wasn't paint but what looked like some sort of jam or jelly. "You were clean when I put you out...damn but it's another bath for you." Trowa said as he straightened up then walking over to the door held it open, not about to carry her and get jelly all over him. Sending him a dark look Cat followed him into the kitchen and then up the stairs towards the bathroom for another bath. Waiting for Trowa when he stopped to remind Duo about going over to check on Cuddles Cat could only hope that Duo saw the basket of evil and went into shock. Not that she wanted him to die or anything but he deserved something for exposing her to the pink hell hole. Technically she'd gone there of her own free will but she'd never have gone over if he hadn't let her know that there was no one but Cuddles home. Therefore he deserved to be punished. "Come on, Mao. You know the drill." Trowa said as he opened the bathroom door and knowing it Cat headed in then with a mighty leap jumped into the tub. Normally she'd have put up a fuss just on the principle of the point but she wasn't in the mood. After this she was going to have a nap in her bed and thank God that she'd ended up with these guys instead of the lady across the street. The horrors would have driven her to commit suicide daily.

)

Later that evening

Everyone sitting at the kitchen table eating supper it didn't take long for everyone to notice that Duo was unusually quiet and appeared to be deep in thought about something. In other words something big had to be up. Finally Quatre couldn't take it anymore. "So what's up, Duo? You seem distracted."

"Hey you know the old lady's house..have you guys looked at it lately?" Duo said as he played with his food when normally he would have been scarfing it down.

"Why would we?" Heero pointed out with a shrug though he too was getting a bit curious at Duo's behavior. "We all work long hours and when we do have time it's late as it is. We're not exactly going to spend what free time we have looking at houses. Why?"

"Well the lady asked me to go check on Cuddles for her today, gave me a key and well..the place is a wreck, guys." Duo said as he looked up from his plate with an earnest look on his face. "The grass is as tall as Sassy, there are singles loose everywhere, the paint's is peeling and don't even get me started on her front porch. Guys that place is a death trap."

"It's that bad?" Quatre asked with a concerned look on his face. To be honest he hadn't been over there for several months and looking back the house had shown some wear then too. When he'd given her the cat food he'd actually caught her on the way home from the market and hadn't gone near the house since she'd refused his help with her groceries. With his schedule he'd never really paid attention to the house across the street.

"Yeah and the inside is good and stuff but the furniture is like ancient and the plumbing sounds just awful. I think she may even be spending more money on that cat of hers then on herself. There sure wasn't a lot in the fridge either." Duo said and when the other boys frowned at him Duo held his hands up in defense. "I was just looking for some water since the water coming out of the taps came out in shots rather then a stream."

)

"What's wrong with her family? She's elderly, she should be taken care of." Wufei said with a disgusted look on his face, feeling a little bad that he hadn't noticed either.

"Obviously a lot." Trowa said with an equally disgusted look on his face. "But how do we go about doing what should be done without making her feel she owes us? She struck me as someone who wouldn't take charity."

"What about pulling the elves and the shoes maker type thing?" Quatre said as he snapped his fingers then seeing four confused looks Quatre grinned sheepishly. "In other words we do the work when she's not around. She can't be in debt to us if she doesn't know we're the ones doing it. She called later today to thank us for watching Cuddles and she mentioned that she was going to be taking Cuddles and staying at her sister's for a bit until her sister was back on her feet. When she gets back we'll say we saw people working on the house but assumed that she'd hired them to fix things up while she was away. Between the five of us I figure we can handle the worst of it or pay someone to do what we can't."

"Then it's settled." Wufei said with a look in his eyes that said no one had better object. "This will be our project for the week."

Everyone nodding in agreement to the plan no one noticed Cat in the doorway watching them so quietly. Had she been able to speak she would have said that it was an honor to know guys who would go to the trouble they were going to and not asking for anything in return. If the men and women in the world were more like you guys there'd be a lot less people like me out there, Cat thought with a smile before heading out of the room to wait for Duo in the den. They were watching something called Finding Nemo tonight.