Battle of the Species
Cat was happily lounging on Quatre's couch in his office when there came a knock at the door. When Quatre called out a come in Cat watched as Maia came in looking more then a little nervous and unsure of herself. Slightly curious now Cat got to her feet and watched as Maia walked up to Quatre's desk practically ringing her hands she was so nervous. What was going on, Cat wondered as she hopped off her comfy couch and sauntered over to listen better.
"Oh hello, Maia. What's up?" Quatre asked as he looked up from his paperwork, a questioning look on his face. Obviously it was something important but for the life of him Quatre couldn't come up with a single idea as to why. Had he forgotten something? It was entirely possible seeing as he hadn't had near enough coffee yet.
"Uhm..well...it's about my school." Maia blurted out nervously, rocking back and forth on her heels slightly. She was pretty sure she knew what Quatre's answer was going to be when she asked him but she'd promised to ask anyway so here she was. "You see you know how I did that project on how intelligent cats are? And used Sassy as my test subject?"
"How could I forget." Quatre said with a smile, remembering how bad tempered Sassy had been about the whole thing. He was pretty sure the only reason she'd cooperated at all was because there were treats to be earned and there wasn't a lot Sassy wouldn't do for a snack. "How did you do on that project by the way?"
)
"I got an A on it." Maia said shyly, blushing when Quatre congratulated her on it. "Anyway one of the other students in my class, Jason Keller..well he did his project on animals and their ability to learn too only he used his dog as his test subject. He aced his project and the teacher brought it up in class, how our research had shown the great capacity of animals to absorb and process information, to learn. Well it kinda sparked a whole debate about just how smart animals really were and about which animals were smarter then others. The teacher asked the class which they though was smarter, a cat or a dog and most of the class said a dog was because they can do all sorts of tricks and are easily trained. Well eventually the debate got to be so bad that our teacher asked us, Jason and I, if we wouldn't mind an experiment to see who was right and who was wrong. He asked if I'd bring Sassy in and allow him to put her through a series of tests with Jason's dog. I told him that Sassy wasn't mine and that I couldn't just bring her to class but I promised him I'd at least ask you about it." Mariemaia finished in a rush as she looked down at her shoes. "I know Sassy probably won't want to do it either."
How dare they. How dare they think some over grown mutt was smarter then she was. Forgetting totally the fact that she was a human in a cat's body Cat hissed under her breath as flames leapt into her almond shaped eyes. Did she drink from the toilet and sniff at people's privates? No. Did she dig holes everywhere and try to play with people's legs? No. How dare they suggest that some flea ridden, four legged walking embarrassment was smarter then she was. She was ten, no a million times smarter then any dumb dog. In fact anyone who said differently was as dumb as..well as dumb as a dumb dog. How dare they blacken her name by even suggesting that she wasn't smart enough to do anything a dog could do. Ha, they use to say that women were weak but you didn't see God trusting men to have the babies now did he? If it were up to men to pass those squalling eight pound footballs you can bet your ass there sure as hell would be a lot less people in the world. Well she'd show them. She'd show all of them how much smarter she was. She was going to take that test and she was going to show this dumb guy Jason that she was a lot smarter then he was, not to mention his even dumber dog, Cat thought with a smug look on her face.
)
"You're right, odds are she wouldn't. At least not without some serious bribing first." Quatre said with a grin as he brushed his bangs off to the side absently. He really needed to get them trimmed. "But if you want to take her to school, if you think you can get her to behave I should say, then it's fine with me."
"How about it Sassy?" Maia asked as she walked over and scooped up Sassy into her arms. "Would you like to come to my school and show everyone how much smarter you are then a dog?"
Oh you couldn't stop me, Maia, Cat thought as she nodded her head up and down several times to Maia and Quatre's amazement. In the tradition of Garfield she was gonna kick some Odie ass.
"Sometimes..I think she understands everything that's said to her and we're the ones at the disadvantage." Quatre said with a shake of his head, amazed by his cat constantly. "Well I guess that's a yes then."
"I guess it is." Maia said with a smile though she was a little worried at the idea of bringing Sassy to school with her. She knew Sassy didn't like to be cuddled or fussed over and that was most certainly bound to happen. "The teacher scheduled the experiment for this Friday at one o'clock. Do you suppose someone could drop her off at my school so that I don't need to have her put somewhere while I'm at classes?"
"Sure, no problem." Quatre said with a smile, understanding Maia completely. The less time Sassy spent at Maia's school the safer the student body would be. As it was he wouldn't put it past her to beat up this Jason kid's dog if he beat her. "I'm busy most of Friday but I'll see to it that she's delivered to you personally at one."
"'Thanks, Quatre." Maia said with a beaming smile before hugging Sassy too in thanks. She had really wanted to bring Sassy to school to show everyone that cats really were smart but she hadn't thought anyone would think it was a good idea, least of all Sassy. "And thank you, Sassy. I know you're going to impress everyone with how smart you are."
)
It was Friday afternoon, fifteen minutes after one and Maia was getting more then a little nervous. Quatre had assured Maia that he'd see that Sassy was delivered to her classroom at one and she just had a bad feeling about this. What if Sassy had run away or was loose somewhere in the school causing unbelievable havoc and mass destruction? Seeing her teacher look at his watch again Maia felt her heart sink and was close to dropping her head into her hands in defeat when there was a loud knock on the door. Watching the teacher's assistant walk over to the door Maia breathed a sigh of relief when the door was opened to reveal Duo looking handsome as usual in his Preventers uniform even if he was carrying a cat carrier. Getting out of her seat Maia walked down the steps to meet him.
"Sorry for being late, Sir." Duo was saying to her teacher with a sheepish look on his face. "Traffic was a mess and I got a bit turned around once I got here. Trowa warned me it was huge but I didn't-oh hey, Maia. Sorry we're late." Duo said when Maia reached his side.
"Well then lets get started shall we." The teacher said with a smile that only got bigger as he saw Maia withdraw a large, fluffy Himalayan from the cat case. In other words the kind of cat you'd find flopped on a pink satin cushion with a jeweled collar. "Jason, if you could bring your dog over then so we can begin."
Jason's dog was a smart looking two year old black lab who gave a short bark in Cat's direction but otherwise gave the cat the cold shoulder. He had been trained at the best obedience school after all as Jason had been telling everyone. "So that's the fluffy fur ball huh? This test should be over soon enough." Jason said with a smirk on his face.
"Well we shall see about that." The teacher said with a knowing smirk, taking the time to motion Duo into an empty seat before beginning the testing. First he had Jason and Maia to tell their animals to sit and stay. They both sat and stayed. Then he told them to walk to the other side of the room and call the animals over. They called, the pets came. The teacher proceeded to run both animals through a series of common commands and dog tricks, both animals performing them flawlessly. Just for the fun of it the teacher asked them each to order their pet to play dead.
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"Play dead, Alfie." Jason ordered and as commanded the dog rolled over onto his back with his feet in the air to the clapping of everyone and several awwwws as well.
When the teacher asked Maia to do it Maia looked at Sassy nervously thinking there was no way Sassy was going to understand much less do it. "Sassy..play dead."
You got it, girl, Cat thought with a grin then began walking in a weaving motion, like she was drunk then promptly gracefully collapsed on the carpet, added a bit of twitching for good measure then went still as death to thunderous applause. Ha, beat that stupid, Cat thought as she got to her feet and stuck her tongue out at Alfie. Cats rule and dogs drool. Whoever heard of someone dying and shooting their limbs into the air so that they looked like a table? What a dumb animal. No wonder they were man's best friend. Just went to show you that the whole human race was going to hell or in this case getting as dumb as dogs.
"That was quite a show. Tell me, Maia; who trained this cat? Whoever did has done a miraculous job." The teacher said with an admiring look. he hadn't expected the cat to be familiar with the harder of the typical tricks dogs were taught. Obviously this cat's owner had put a lot of time and effort into training this animal with truly incredible results.
"Well we don't know, Sir." Maia said with a shrug, pleased that her teacher was so impressed with Sassy already. "Quatre..I mean Senator Winner rescued her from the street when she almost got hit by a car. We don't have any idea where she came from or who use to own her."
)
"Quatre Winner? The Senator Quatre Winner?" Jason said with his eyes practically popping out of his head when Maia nodded. "That fluffy furball belongs to him? I thought he had dogs."
"Quatre loves all animals. He use to have several dogs but when he moved in a smaller house there wasn't enough room for them so he gave them to his nieces and nephews as pets. He's also had birds, rabbits and even a squirrel for a pet though." Maia said with an animated smile, always happy to talk about how great Quatre was. She'd had a crush on him as a kid and even though she'd gotten over it by now she still really admired him. "Quatre's the type of person who can't ignore anything or anyone in need."
"Well whoever the cat's former owner is he did a wonderful job." The teacher said, interrupting before they could get sidetracked. Personally he was looking forward to saying he had THE Quatre Winner's personal pet in his class room but that would wait until he was in the teacher's lounge with a suitable audience. "Lets continue shall we?" Soon the animals were once again doing trick and when that was done the harder questions began. Both animals began to have some problems now. "Okay now instead of telling your pets to come to you I want you to tell them to climb up the stairs to the top then back down again."
"Uhmm, Sassy? Could you go to the top of the stairs and back down again please?" Maia asked, not at all sure that Sassy was up to climbing up all those stairs much less whether she could do it. Jason meanwhile couldn't seem to figure out how to explain it to his dog so that Alfie could understand. Seeing this Cat was only more determined to get up those steps even as they loomed in front of her like an endless staircase. Starting up Cat hopped from step to step, having a hard time since her legs were only so long and they got tired soon enough. Finally reaching the top she looked down to see that Alfie was still at the bottom and smirked. Leaning over to get a better look at the sad picture Cat gave a screech when she leaned over too far and went tumbling down five steps before landing on her feet with a hiss. Seeing both Duo and Maia coming up the steps to her Cat bounded down to meet them and walked right past them and finally to the floor level. Walking back over to where she'd been standing before Cat collapsed there in a heap before being scooped up by Maia right away to be fussed over.
"Is she alright?" The teacher asked coming over and once it was established that she was the teacher declared her winner of this event. More tests and such followed but in total it was decided that Sassy had proven to be the smarter of the two.
)
Watching Maia beam with delight Cat rolled her eyes even as she lay in Maia's arms smiling smugly. She had kicked that stupid dog's butt and that was that. She'd showed them who was boss all right. The dumb dog hadn't even been smart enough to know the difference between the red ball and the blue ball. I mean really when you looked at it cats were so much better then dogs. Cats never slobbered all over you, they can see in the dark and they always land on their feet. Had the dog fallen down those stairs Cat had no doubts what so ever that he would have kept rolling all the way to the bottom, likely right on his empty head too. She on the other hand had caught herself in the third step. Okay maybe it had been the fifth step but the point was she'd caught herself. I am so much smarter, I am so much smarter, Cat sang cheerfully in her head as she smirked at Alfie. You are such a dumb dog. You are such a dumb dog was her next verse. Now that the test was over Cat couldn't wait to go home so that Quatre could shower her with praise and tell her what a smart cookie she was. She was sure all the guys would be suitably impressed with how thoroughly she'd whooped the stupid dog's butt and if they weren't she'd hurt them.
)
When the bell rang everyone groaned in disappointment since this was definitely a biology class to remember. "Okay, everyone. That's a wrap. Don't forget that you have a test next week so study hard for it because I guarantee you it won't be easy. Any questions about it you all know where to find me. Dismissed." The teacher called out and soon everyone was filing out of the room, one of Jason's family employees coming in to take Alfie while Duo came over to transfer Sassy into her cage. "Thank you again for bringing her, Mr.?" The teacher said as he watched the cat enter her cage with a slight hiss of annoyance as the students streamed by though they were taking their time about it.
"Maxwell. Lieutenant Maxwell. You can call me Duo though." Duo added with his usual friendly grin. "This is some school you have here."
"We all think so. I'm Mr. Ratcliff by the way. Did you attend school around here, Lieutenant?" The teacher asked with a curious look. The man had seemed quite fascinated by the whole thing and there was something familiar about him though he couldn't place it just yet. A man with hair that long wasn't easily forgotten after all.
"Ahhh..no sir. Actually I didn't ever really go to school. I was a war orphan and I learned the basics at the church where I lived but other then that I've only been in a few other schools for brief periods of time. I was never very good at it though so it's not really a loss." Duo added with a shrug though he did sorta wish he'd at least got a high school diploma. Just to be able to say he'd got it. He knew it would have meant a lot to Father Maxwell and the sisters if he had. "But who knows, maybe someday I will go back or at least take some courses."
"Well if you do this school and several others in the area have after school programs for adults who wish to continue their learning or achieve their high school diploma, Lieutenant Maxwell. I'm sure Miss.Une can get you the pamphlets for it if you ever decide that you wish to continue with your academic career. You're never to old to learn despite certain sayings to the contrary." Mr. Ratcliff said with a friendly smile, noticing that the young man was interested but trying not to be. "Anyway I hope you have a nice day and thank you again for helping make today possible." He added, holding out his hand to shake Duo's firmly.
"No problem. It was my pleasure." Duo said with a smile as he let go then saying good bye carried the cat carrier out of the room with Maia at his side. "He seems like a nice guy. Hard teacher?"
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"Only if you don't pay attention." Maia said with a shrug, her thoughts centered around what Duo and her teacher had said. She'd never really thought about it but all five of the pilots had likely not had a lot of schooling with the exception of Quatre and Wufei but they'd gone off to fight at fifteen and as far as she knew they'd never gone back. Had any on them received their high school diploma? She had no doubt that all of them were smart enough to have gotten them and even gone on to university but none of them had. They were just so smart and knowledgeable about things she'd never stopped to think about all the things they'd missed out on and hadn't learned because of the war. Her mom always said that for every one thing she knew there were five other things she didn't, that it was important to learn as much as possible about the world around you. Did the boys not think that or did they just think they were too old or too busy to go back to school? She was betting on the latter. "Hey, Duo? If you want I can take you to the Guidance office..that's where they have those pamphlets my teacher was talking about."