A/N: Update. You made have to read Charmed! if you can still call it that... for a future plot.

Title: Is A Smallville After All.

Episode 6: Spuffy.

(Teaser: Cemetery. Clark and Chloe are wandering around.)

CLARK: I'm so piss that I got my powers back. Now I have to watch myself with Lana.

CHLOE: That was like months ago, can we talk about something interesting. Like, your girlfriend turning into a member of the evil undead? (She held out her stake to illustrate her point.) We have to stop her before she kills!

CLARK: You're asking me to kill the love of my life.

CHLOE: We're killing Lex now?

(Clark blush a bright red, but didn't correct her. Suddenly a Vampire lounge at them from a nearby tomb. Chloe ducked while Clark used his Sexually Stimulated Heat Rays™ to try and attack him. He missed him slightly and got an angry Vamp on his stomach pummeling him. As expected, the Vampire tore at his shirt till it was ripped opened and Clark exposed his Chest. Hey, it has its own contract! Clark used his Super-Strength to push the Vamp off him. The Vamp whirls in the air and lands on a tree. Clark gets up and it's about to use his Super Rocket Launching Fart Of Doom™ (It so looks like that! Lol-Alex.-), when suddenly the vamp is hit with a stake in the back and turns into ashes. Clark turns to where the stake came from and saw a small Blonde woman with a piss off look. Chloe scampers back into scene to watch.)

CLARK: Who are you?

BUFFY: I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer.

(Roll credits. Fade in: Same place we left them. Buffy walked over to Clark and gave him a look.)

BUFFY: What are you? Are you a vampire? (She paused and examining his naked chest.) Hmm, slaying sure does make a slayer horny. (See Faith- Buffy the Vampire Slayer-Alex.-)Um, do you want to go have a quickie by that tree?

CHLOE: I'm like standing right here!

BUFFY: Sorry. I don't go that way. No matter how many Fanfiction says otherwise. But I have a lesbian gay witch lesbian friend that might help you.

CLARK: (Taking a shirt out of his backpack and putting it on.) We're too busy. We're looking for my girlfriend. Who's also a vampire.

BUFFY: (To Clark, stroking her stake in a Un-WB like way.) Isn't vampire sex just the best? That cool dead lifeless body creeping on your flesh and banging in you for five hour straight. (See Season 6 Buffy. On second thought, don't.-Alex.-) And filling your insides with his cold undead seed juicy juice-

(Buffy stopped as she saw the disgusted faces on Clark and Chloe. Lois scampered in with Professor Milton "Spiky" So Fine in her left arm. Buffy's jaw dropped.)

CLARK: Professor! What are you doing here? (Turning into jealous Clark.) With Lois.

LOIS: Stop with the brother act already, Smallville. I told you I was going to get another guy after you denied me your Super-Sex.

CHLOE: I thought you were dating, AC?

LOIS: There's only so much "bro's" a girl can take before sending his ass to the sea.

CLARK: So now you're dating my 47 year old History teacher?

LOIS: You say it like it's a bad thing! Honestly, if I didn't know better, I've say you were jealous.

CHLOE: (To herself.) Oh, more of this Lois and Clark punning and joking… just great…

CLARK: You're annoying, foulmouthed and won't seem to shut up! I'm so not jealous! I pity the man that would be stupid enough to marry you!

LOIS: Well, at least I can get some without having to wait FIVE seasons for sex!

CHLOE: Guys! (The two turned to see her.) Look!

(They turned to see Buffy and Milton arguing too.)

BUFFY: Where the fuck have you been all this time? And what the fuck happen to your hair? And you're sexy British accent!

MILTON: Buffy, calm the bloody 'ell down… (He pauses.) Bloody 'ell… oh no! I'm turning! (He goes all Super Saiyan See DBZ-Alex.- and his hair turns Blonde.) Damn you, slayer. You made me revert back to my other evil persona!

BUFFY: What do you mean "evil"? You have a soul!

SPIKE: Not any bloody more. Thanks to my other persona, I lost my soul. (He reverts back to Milton.) I'm Braniac after all.

(Clark twitches for some reason. Chloe takes the center.)

CHLOE: Guys, listen! We need to focus on Lana! She's all Vampire Evil Lesbian Tendencies Lana™! She needs to be stop.

CLARK: Yeah, but how do we stop her without killing her?

LOIS: Why can't we kill her?

(Pause.)

CLARK: Cause she's the only one who will have sex with me. If we kill her who on the show will sleep with me?

(The sounds of a Speeding Horny Young Millionaire Soon Turning Evil Bald Playboy™ could be heard and in a cloud of smoke Lex Luthor panted his way to the cemetery and stammered over to Clark, clinging on his waist.)

LEX: (Catching his breath.) Me… pick me…

CLARK: Baby… (He picks him up and snuggles him.) You didn't have to run just for me.

LEX: I'd do anything for you. Except turn good.

(Clark pushes him off and pouts. Lex pouts too. Lois rolls her eyes.)

LOIS: Can we go now? Cause, I don't know about you two, but a cemetery doesn't seem like a great romantic spot.

CHLOE: Tell that to your date and the horny Vampire Slayer.

(Chloe pointed to Milton and Buffy going at it like to lust bunnies in full heat. (Again, you can go see Buffy season 6 for a better view of this, but if you're not a fan of pseudo soft core porn then don't bother.-Alex.-) Lois turned her heels and headed out, but got suddenly slammed to the ground by Vamp Lana. Everyone frost. Except for the sex buddies going at it at a tree. (This happened in Dead Things. On top of Dawn's dinner. Ew.-Alex.-) Chloe grabbed her staked and went to attack Lana, but the Vamp Bitch kicked her on the side. She got thrown in a nearby opened grave. The tomb read 'Here lies Pete – He was only useful for exposition.' Cut to Clark, who is now on full fight with the Evil vampire hag. He swings her around like a rag doll and then produces a stake lunging it in her heart I fell asleep watching this Episode, and I still haven't seen how Vamp Lana is no more. But this way is how I like to think it ended.-Alex.- In an agonizing scream Lana burst into flame. The fire slowly pealing at her skin as her lungs filled with blood making her choked. After 45 minutes or so of pain and torment, accompanied by the kicks and spits from the others, Lana exploded into a million particles that evaporated.)

CLARK: I guess that's the end of Lana. Unless there's something that can bring her back…

(Everyone stood silent. Cut to: Halliwell Manor – San Francisco - Foyer. In a table lays the Orb of Thesula with the Soul of Countess Isobel (Would someone tell me whether it's Isabelle or Isobel already, I'm so can know if I got it right!-Alex.-) Theroux twitches a red glow.)

(Fade to black.)

End.