Bandit- once again, I know I am loved. Thanx my faithful reviewers! (smiles)

Ed- IT'S NOT TOO LATE! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CA—

Bandit- (hits Ed with a whip)

Ed- (faints from pain)

Roy- …wasn't that harsh?

Bandit- YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

Roy- (backs away)

Disclaimer- (starts wailing hysterically) I DON'T OWN FMA! WAAAAHHHHHH!

(A/N) All right folks! Ed's here! Took me a while, but I got him. Sorry for the atrociously long wait :p

And towards the end, you'll see a smidgen of shounen ai.

When Ed got off the train, he didn't dawdle around like usual, hoping for an excuse to walk by so he could avoid the Colonel. Nope, he flew straight to headquarters with steam rising out of his ears and anger radiating off him like a mini bomb. Anyone who got enough courage to peek at his beet red face ducked behind any type of material, be it a trash can or another unfortunate human being, so not to be seen. (1)

Seeing Ed mad was nothing new, but seeing him with a 'someone's gonna die today, so make sure it isn't you' look kept everyone at a distance.

'Bastard! I'm gonna transmute you into a bird shit when I'm done with you!'

Roy sat calmly in his chair in front of Hughes, not knowing the impending doom that was about to come raining at him in a few minutes or so.

"Alright Hughes. What's got you so giddy?"

Hughes grinned at his best friend and answered, "If we're lucky, the end of these murders."

Roy rose a thin eyebrow. "Well, don't keep me in the dark. Do tell."

Instead of answering, Hughes flopped down on Mustang's couch, stretching his entire body out and relishing its softness. "Wow! Do you know how softer your couch is than mine? If I'd had this one this morning, I'd be asleep right now and Gracia would be yelling at me to go to work and I wouldn't be able to tell you the glorious news I--"

"If you don't get to the point, I'll roast you where you lay. And I will hide the body."

Hughes waved off the threat. "Gracia would wipe the floor with you, trust me."

"Hughes…" Roy growled, reaching into his pocket for his gloves.

"Alright! No need to be all pissy!" Hughes pouted but sat up correctly on the couch. He dropped his happy charade and went serious while brooding for a while.

'Finally we're getting somewhere…' Roy thought in relief.

"As I'm sure you've been told by Fury, my wife got a call early this morning from a man named Mark Summers."

"Your wife? What did he want from her?"

Hughes hesitated for a quick moment then answered, "Well, it was for me but she picked it up and I let her talk." He hoped Roy would get the hint and stay on the beach and not stray to the dark waters. (2)

Roy now gave his friend a quizzical glance. "I thought you didn't want her to know anything…"

Hughes became defensive. "It's not like I knew who it was!" (3)

Roy dropped it. When Hughes got annoyed about something, it was best to leave that subject alone…

After calming down, Hughes regretted his outburst. "Sorry about that, Roy."

It was Roy's turn to wave off the sentence. "I was the nosy one. Now are we going to discuss Mark or not?"

A sheepish grin split Hughes face. "Yeah. Well, from what he said, he was out for a drink late last night, then someone came and attacked him."

"Did he get a look at the guy's face?"

"Don't know. From what Gracia said, he didn't specify a lot. Just gave vague details." Hughes leaned and allowed his head to hang over the top of the couch. "That's why I'm gonna go see him, probably with Shayla, and ask a few questions."

Roy nodded. "Good. Hopefully we'll wrap this case up quick so I can go back to achieving my goal."

"The mini skirt one or the 'Become Fuhrer' one?"

Roy couldn't stop the smirk. "While I'd like to pursue the mini skirt campaign, Hawkeye's so moody from the murders there's a chance she'll shoot me for even thinking about it."

"Well we wouldn't have to worry about this if you just--"

"Don't say it!" Mustang snapped.

"What? You didn't even let me finish my sentence!"

"I know what you're going to say. So let me answer right now; I don't want or need one."

Hughes lifted his head and shot Roy an amused look. "So in your apartment won't work?"

"…Excuse me?"

"Your apartment." Hughes repeated this as if speaking to a dumb child. "I was going to say that maybe you should transfer the skirts out of headquarters. Sure, no one will think to look here, but someone's gonna step on them sooner or later. That unused bathroom will get fixed sooner or later." The amused look grew and transformed into prankish delight. "What? Think I was gonna say you need a wife?"

"Hughes…"

"Yes dear?"

"Get the hell out of my office."

"Are you sure? Cause if you want, I could hook you up with this young lady who's dying to meet you…"

Roy grabbed his gloves and began to slip them on.

"All right!" Hughes knew when to make himself scarce, and now seemed a good a time as any. He held his hands up in front of him in mock surrender while inching toward the door.

Roy kept his glare in place until Hughes left his office. He rubbed his temples and rested his head on the desk in front of him.

"Oh and Roy, I forgot to show you my pictures of Elicia! I got the new 'mini fashion model' series developed!" The door ripped open and Roy found a picture of Elicia in a gown ten times her size and make up that would put a clown to shame thrust in front of his nose. "Isn't she precious? Just the loveliest angel you'll ever see! Seeing her makes you want to get married and have kids, right?"

Hughes had just enough time to do a hasty 'about face' and run out the door before a stream of fire blew his ass off.

Roy twitched and mentally cursed Hughes.

'Damnit! Why does he always bring my lack of steady relationships into any conversation we have? It's not that I need wife…'

Yeah, keep telling yourself that Roy. It's easier than facing up to the pain.

'Shut up.'

As Shayla would say, the truth hurts doesn't it?

Roy let out a bitter laugh. Now he was talking to himself. What else can go wrong?

The door slammed open and Roy automatically lifted his hands into snap position.

"Hughes, I suggest you pray right now, because--"

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Roy paled and froze in his seat. That was not Hughes.

'Well, someone returned from his mission…'

If Roy weren't so startled, he would have laughed at the fact that Ed could tower in a doorway. Quite amusing, really… well, not right now.

'Damn. What I'd do to set him off this badly? He looks like he wants to transmute me into something unpleasant. And I know Fullmetal's got a wild imagination.'

Ed stomped his way over to the desk, trying to stare down his nose at the Colonel and not quite succeeding. Roy felt that obnoxious little laugh try to make a break out of his mouth, but he stubbornly held it in.

'Don't laugh death in the face. It won't appreciate my sense of humor.' Roy now had to bite the inside of his lip to keep it in.

Fullmetal reached the desk and leaned over until his face came dangerously close to Roy's, his voice so low it could be considered a growl. (4) "Congratulations. You've just reached an all time low."

Any laughing feeling Roy suppressed rolled on its belly and died on the spot. Ed usually was ranting his ass off, screaming about unfair Colonels and other obscenities. Instead he stood a breath's width away and Roy consciously kept himself aware of where Ed's hands were. A quiet Fullmetal was a dangerous one, and the raven haired alchemist began to fully understand the danger he was in.

'Oh fuck. I've done it now.'

"Fullmetal," Roy said slowly, keeping his tone neutral, "Can you at least tell me what I did? You're going to need a good story to tell the police if you kill me."

Edward growled again and stood up straight. "You know what you fucking did!"

Mustang shook his head. "No, I don't. You'll have to inform me."

"You bastard!"

"I'm serious, Fullmetal."

Some of the pent up anger seeped out of Ed as he realized the Colonel really didn't know.

'That bastard really doesn't know? Maybe I got it wrong…' Ed furiously shook his head. 'What am I thinking? This is Colonel Mustang. He makes it his hobby to drive me insane! Of course he meant it!'

Ed continued to glare menacingly at Mustang while having his inner debate. "Fine! Maybe this will get you thinking. It's about my previous mission!"

Mustang blinked at him. Now that he thought about it, what did he send the chibi alchemist to do?

Ed carefully watched Mustang's expression. He that bastard so much as sneezed the wrong way, he'd kill him.

"Fullmetal, I'm going to need a better hint. If you don't tell me soon, you can just leave." Roy now crossed his arms and waited as patiently as possible.

"Fine! You sent me to Persa! You said there was a rogue alchemist terrorizing everyone!"

"…And?"

Ed felt the sudden urge to stamp his feet and pout like he used to do when he was five years old, so he did. Roy decided he looked utterly ridiculous. "Do you know what Persa is famous for, that you so 'conveniently' forgot to tell me? It famous for its brothels!"

Now Roy didn't bother to hide his quizzical gaze. What was he talking about?

"Your alchemist was nothing but a… provider for the town." A deep flush spread across Ed's face. "He wasn't terrorizing anyone. He just… got a little too happy with some of his… err… equipment and there were some complaints. One of his employers probably thought it was some type of alchemy weapon and panicked. "

Roy still didn't get it. "Okay, he was a prostitute. That's no reason to come barging in here like a rhino and practically threaten my health. " Roy found himself frowning. "It's not like I write these missions. I just read them and give them to my subordinates. Besides, you should be asking around before chasing or following anyone. It's not my fault."

"Yes it is!" A fresh helping of rage surfaced and Ed growled at him. "When I chased him around town and into this… he… and…"

"And what?"

Ed turned and looked at the wall, finding an unbelievably interesting crack to examine.

'Let's see, it's bullet shaped. Hawkeye must have been PMSing while I was gone…'

"Fullmetal, what happened? Don't expect to leave this office until I know what happened." Mustang let the threat hang in the air. Ed considered taking Mustang up on his threat.

'No. I'd end up committing homicide if I stay in the same room as him.'

"… Fine," Ed shuffled his feet and the redness now covered the entire plane of his face. "I… chased him and…"

"Fullmetal…"

"Ifollowedhimandfoundhiminthishousewithoneofhisclientsandtheyweredoingit." There, Ed thought, I did it.

Roy was not amused. "Repeat it slowly."

'Damnit!'

"…I followed him and found him in this house with one of his clients and they were…" Ed stared at his boots. "Then he asked me if I wanted to… join." Of all the conversations to be having… Why didn't he just avoid Central like he usually did?

The office filled with heavy silence. Of all the things Roy had been expecting…

"So basically you were so embarrassed you decided to take your aggression out on poor me?" Roy smirked and added a mocking ring to his voice. "You poor adolescent."

"SHUT UP!" Ed turned his glare on full blast, not that it would help. "You purposely made me go to Persa for your own sick, twisted pleasure, bastard!'

"Now is that anyway to talk to your superior?"

"You're not denying it!" Ed's face twisted and he felt ready to scream in frustration. "You always do this! Sending me on meaningless missions!"

Roy stared at the boy. "Well, of course they seem meaningless now. With Alphonse restored to his normal body, any mission will seem boring by comparison. You also lost your companion, since your brother now resides with Winry. One doesn't experience the journey of a lifetime and expect the same level of excitement afterward." His tone was extremely condescending.

The short alchemist felt shame wash over him. His throat tightened and he refused to look the Flame Alchemist in the eye.

"And now that this matter has been cleared up, you are dismissed." Roy waved his hand and made a shooing motion toward the door, now staring at some legal documents.

Depression settled in and Ed let his legs move to the door. With no real anger left, Edward realized how the Colonel had hit the target as always. He himself didn't even realize how boring it was without Al until that bastard said it.

'It had made such sense at the time, and I know it isn't beneath him. But maybe I really wasn't justified this time. I miss Al so much, maybe I want him to mess up just so I can vent my anger out on him.' This train of thought continued to depress Ed greatly. 'I hate to say it, but he was in the right. I messed up. He always sees me at my worst moments!'

Ed stopped at the door and glanced back at the Colonel.

'I don't wanna, but… it's the best thing to do. I'm seventeen; I can handle it, even if it is you, sadistic Colonel.'

"Sir… that was… I mean…" Ed licked his dry lips and willed himself to try again. "I-I'm sorry… for the outburst." The boy shyly kept his eyes trained on him and waited for a response.

The pen in Roy's hand almost broke from the surprised force that little statement gave him. Fullmetal did not just apologize. No, he couldn't. It wasn't apart of their delicate game, their constant power struggle. There were few things Roy was sure about in this world, and one of them was that the Fullmetal Alchemist would rather eat cow pies than say those words to him. He must have heard wrong.

When the Colonel didn't answer, Ed scowled at his head, a bit hurt at the lack of comment.

'Even when I try to act somewhat mature, he still ignores me like I'm not worth his time.'

"Never mind. I take it back. This time it might have been my fault, but you're still clearly a fucking bastard." Edward stated icily and walked out the door.

The pen dropped to the desk and Mustang silently cursed himself. 'Damn, he did apologize! When did he grow up and how come I never noticed…' It was so un-Edward like. Fullmetal apologizing and him giving up an argument were pretty much one and the same, at least from Ed's POV. He'd put his pride on the line, and Roy might as well have thrown it back in his face. God, sometimes he was a bastard.

He shot up from this chair and ran to the closed door, swinging it opened.

"Fullmetal!"

Ed's head popped back and he stared at the man. "What the hell d--"

"Apology accepted."

Golden eyes grew wide. The boy was obviously having trouble computing that small sentence. Roy couldn't help his smirk. The boy looked so endearing with his big eyes and mouth open is momentary shock…

'I'm going to pretend that thought never existed.' (5)

With that, Roy slammed the door back into place and heard a squeak from the other side, followed by a string of curses. Apparently, Fullmetal hadn't moved his head in time.

Feeling relatively more cheerful, Roy found he didn't even mind doing his paperwork. All thoughts about wives and marriage were wiped clean from his mind. A bout with Fullmetal could do wonders for stress.

"What's wrong, Edward? That's not the usual look you wear when you walk out of Roy's office." The blond shot her an agitated look and rubbed his bruised nose.

"What are you talking about? And why are you here, Shayla?"

Shayla returned his look with a bright smile. "I've been forced against my will to join this merry, and slightly psychotic, band of fools."

"I resent that." Havoc glanced up from his doodle on the document in front of him and gave the woman a fake offended look. Fury, who was currently fixing a radio, giggled at that and Havoc couldn't help but smile.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" Shayla retorted before giving her attention back to Ed. "And to your previous question, you actually looked happy, or some odd form of it." Hands rested on her hips and she gave him a critical eye. "What'd he do to you? Torture, blackmail, threaten family?"

"What? He didn't do anything, even if that is hard to believe." A snort was heard from the short male alchemist.

'Yeah, it is hard to believe. Just five minutes ago I was ready to blow his head off. Then the fight came and I apologized and he…' A tiny blush spread across his face and he looked at the floor. 'Gods, he's not here and I still feel like an idiot! I bet he's smirking right now, the bastard…'

Shayla took careful note of the blush and felt herself smile, but didn't say anything. Instead, a pat on the back interrupted Ed's quiet moment and he lifted his head.

"Oh, well whatever he did, it couldn't be that bad, right? You've dealt with that freak long enough to know what to expect." The brown haired girl steered the boy out of the office and into the hallway. "And you're probably tired from the train ride. Go to the medical hallway and get some rest. We've got a mission and I want you at your best."

"Hey! What are you-- Just wait!" Ed dug his feet into the floor even though there wasn't enough friction to stop Shayla from pushing him down the hall. A loud squeak echoed in the hallway as boots skidded against the tile. "What mission?"

The pushing stopped momentarily and she spun the alchemist around. Ed looked down was slightly startled to see such a serious expression on the woman's face. (6)

"Look Ed. Trust me on this. You need sleep right now, because you won't be getting it for a while." A tremendous emotion swelled up in her eyes, and Ed now noticed how tired her orange eyes looked. "Some really shitty things have been happening while you were away and things look pretty bleak. I care about you like a brother, so please do as I say. I promise to explain everything later." The emotion died, and the cheerfulness settled back in. "Now get going. NO arguing!"

Ed nodded and obeyed, walking quickly down the hall. A nap sounded pretty good to him

Shayla watched him go before returning to the outer office. Havoc glanced up once again from his doodling, watching the woman get lost in her thoughts. A suspicious smile began to form on her face and he felt uneasy.

"What was that all about?"

"Huh?" Havoc's voice snapped her to attention. "Just thinking to myself."

"Don't hurt yourself," he drawled. Shayla glowered at him.

"You are on lucky bastard since I forgot my whip."

"Whatever you say. Now what was that smile for?"

"Smile? What smile?" The innocence act worked well with her, but Havoc was far from fooled.

"The devious one that means you're ploting something. I just want to know what it is…"

"Havoc don't pry…" Fury chided. Havoc pouted cutely and mumbled.

"Yes, Havoc. Listen you your boyfriend." Shayla giggled and spun out the door, leaving the two blushing men.

Shayla stepped into the hallway and went off to find Hughes. There was no way she would let that idiot man off by himself, no matter how well he could use those knives.

'I wonder if I should tell him about Ed…' It seemed like a good idea, but she didn't trust him with secrets that much. If his best friend were involved, he certainly would not hesitate to interfere. And Shayla believed firmly in letting relationships sort themselves out. But in this case…

"They'll both be wrinkled old farts before they even hold a decent conversation free of insults and mauling." Shayla chuckled out loud at that thought. As much as that was funny, she did want the best for those two. "I'll just see where this goes. A bit more observation won't kill me," she said out loud and continued on her search.

'When will that Hudges guy get here? He's taking too damn long.'

/…It's Hughes, and he'll be on his way, and probably not alone. /

'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN? You insolent fucker! This is not supposed to happen!'

/You--/

'I can't kill two people at once! I might as well hold a sign over my head that says, "Here's your mass murderer, you dumbass!" on it/

A hiss. /Quiet! You'd be wise to lower your tone with me…/ The threat hung in the air, and Mark felt a bit guilty. He unconsciously tightened his arm around the woman snuggled up to him, not is affection but in annoyance. /Yes, you'll be set back, but it's better than being caught. This meeting will insure some of the pressure is taken off you. So you'd best remember who's your enemy. / The tone was harsh and cruel, and Mark reeled. Never had he been so nasty to him, and Mark thoroughly regretted his outburst.

'I'm sorry. I'm just worried. This is taking way too long. I should have that boy by now!' The familiar wave of anger came crashing down, and Mark squirmed in the bed and jarred his 'wife'. The woman made a noise before settling back to sleep. 'I just want my revenge on what they did to me!'

/And you will. / He too calmed down and reminded himself it would do no good to argue with Robert. / I wouldn't steer you wrong like the others. After all, we are friends, are we not/

Mark smiled giddily like a puppy dog that had just been forgiven. 'Yes. We'll always be friends, won't we?'

/…Yes. Friends forever. /

Mark's eyes drooped down slowly in bliss and settled into his morning nap. He always made Mark feel so relaxed. It was good to have friends. Especially ones that would never leave…

Marks snores danced across the room, but not before his eyes opened slightly and a cruel smile made itself known in the darkness.

(1) I like this paragraph! LMAO. Just thought you guys should know. :p

(2) That's my mom's saying. Had to sneak some of her sayings in here…

(3) I made Hughes like that because we all know there are just some things you don't want to speak about to anyone, even your best friend. Roy can just wait and find out later.

(4) Ed- let me kiss him! Bandit- Not yet damnit! Ed- Please? Bandit- Don't make me get the whip!

(5) Denial, thy name is Roy:p

(6) I'm gonna be merciful and give Ed a height of 5' 4". I don't want him too short. Roy might get back pains. :p

This chapter was completely useless (aren't all my chapters), but Ed was in it, so I'll keep it. Next chapter the plot thickens and maybe some of that action… hopefully. Did ya like those shounen ai hints? If you blinked you might have missed them. :p I'm so sad. I watched the infamous ep. 25 and I cried like a newborn babe. SCREW YOU ENVY! I HOPE YOU FALL IN A CONVIENENTLY PLACED BLACKHOLE! (starts bawling) If the next chapter has a bit more angst, you know why. LONG LIVE HUGHES! (even if he's technically not alive.) Shout out time!

diamondprincess2006- Sorry, but the stupid text won't let me spell your name right... idiots... I'm so glad you liked Shayla! And I'm glad you like creepy, cause things are gonna get weird. The Ed/Roy goodness will get here, don't worry:p

Basser- hehehe… don't worry. I'm actually 5'1" so you're not alone in the short category. I'm glad I got the characters right… I was getting worried!

BAKURAsoRULES- I worship your name because it's so true… (coughs) But anyways, glad you enjoyed the story! (smiles)

catey- Ed is here! Ed is here! Be happy and proud that I finally got him in here! (dances around in circles) WHEE!

Reviews feed me! Don't let me starve! And none of that flamed stuff since it goes down rough and I'll likely throw up in your face, if you know what I mean… hehehehe…