Hither, thither and yon I roamed, hitchhiking the galaxy until I found an Echani colony on forested Myrkr. They kept to themselves, so the Neti cheerfully ignored them. Leaving behind my previous life, I joined them with nothing but the clothes on my back and, naturally, the Force; the one ally I could never abandon. By observing the lizard-like ysalamiri and surviving Force-hunting vornskrs, the Echani had learnt the uncommon discipline of setting up mental blocks in their minds. No amount of mind reading, tricks or persuasion worked on them, and believe me, I tried. They would only accept me if I could defeat one of their handmaidens in unarmed combat. Her name was Jen. Forbidden to use the Force, I was knocked around a good few times, nearly losing consciousness from her uppercuts and roundhouse kicks, before I pinned her for above ten seconds. Bleeding from my nose and ears, I was unceremoniously accepted as an Echani, and shortly thereafter blacked out.
888
I awoke, expecting the stench of Kolto fluid but instead found pungent herbs tied around my swollen head.
"Rest a while. I bruised you much."
"Jedi are known for their toughness," I boasted, then attempted to sit up only to be floored by a mass driver pounding the inside of my skull.
"Rest, recover. You have earned it."
"Jen, is it?"
She hovered over me.
"Your eyes are violet. Is that normal for humans?"
"Are you not human?"
"I am Echani. We rarely change, and when an abnormality is found, it is met with suspicion."
"There's no need for anxiety. I am but a Gray Jedi, without weapon or allegiance."
"But you came here. Why?"
I found solace in her soft coal eyes.
"I must prepare myself in order to obtain another lightsaber."
888
For ten years I was content with handling Echani mêlée weapons. I grew accustomed to their weight balance (a Jedi's true weapon is called lightsaber for more than its flashiness) and trained with Echani masters while their colony grew. I adopted their light, soundless tread, so much so that I developed the Force Camouflage skill – to walk unseen, hidden by the shadows of the Force. I learnt their etiquette and traditions during daily life, heard their history around the campfire and easily slipped into their native tongue when they spoke it. I expected to grow older, but my physical features halted between thirty and forty years.
Jen grew with me; honing her skills until none others equaled ours. In the valleys, deep within forests we sparred. Climbing became our pastime, conditioning our minds and bodies until our muscles and willpower resonated with the unyielding heights. We gazed often at each other, especially after a duel, noticing everything from the sheen of sweat to the way our barely clad chests heaved (it is Echani tradition to duel with as little clothing as possible – no doubt it was how Jen's ancestors came to know each other so well). Without saying anything, we were content with each other's company. As the years passed, her eyes shifted colour from midnight pools to my violet, except hers was clearer and not dark as mine. She realized she, too, had stopped aging beyond the thirty or forty years we shared. One crisp morning while we greeted the rising sun, the mystery had to be solved.
"I cannot ignore these changes under your influence. Why am I becoming like you, Joe?"
"It is the Force, Jen, bringing us close together in spirit and likeness."
"What is this Force you have used often, spoken of, but I know not?"
"Do you wish to hear it?"
"I will listen."
From our vantage point on the cliff, the Echani settlement lay below. I stood behind her to allow her full view – and also because I enjoyed the scent of her hair – and guided her first steps, whispering into her attentive ears as the Force whispered to mine.
"Release the mental barriers. There are no vornskyrs here. You are safe."
The blocks came down, but slowly, for it was a lifetime discipline. Her mind was as intricate as her personality – many-layered, perpetually active, always questioning and searching. For one above her peers, her inherent desire for greater power was subdued due to her strict upbringing. She would make an excellent receptacle for the Force.
"Close your eyes and feel your heartbeat, for you must know yourself before you can know others."
Jen already possessed two of the pillars – wisdom and strength. To know self is the beginning of knowledge.
"Quiet, now. All is silent. Inside, there is your pulse. Reach outward. Seek what you already feel – the ground underfoot, the threshing of wind. Now the ground pulses with you, the wind hums with your breathing. It is all alive. It is all one. You are part of it. Through them, feel your life anew."
"I… hear… something…"
Her voice was hushed, so as not to interrupt the beginnings of The Sound:
"I…
I am…
I am here…
I am here…
I am life…
Eternal life…"
No sweeter symphony is there than the Force, whose most tenuous notes hymn the everlasting.
"Awaken, Jen."
Her eyes, my eyes, opened to the village below. She drew breath, and with that inward rush came knowledge.
"I feel them... moving, there below. My sisters, returning from the well… my mother, preparing a meal…!"
She gave a sobbing gasp of pristine wonderment.
"I do not see, yet they are there."
I rested my hands upon her shoulders, speaking to her as the Force spoke now.
"Blessed are you, Jen. The Force has found you, and it shall follow you… I am with you always, even until the end of time."
888
I spent ten more years training my 'padawan', and I confess to have learnt more from her than she learnt from me. She belonged to her family and understood life and love more intuitively than I; concordantly, the Force flowed strongly through her, but not stronger than it does through me. As I said in the beginning, I am special, but Jen is special to me, and therein is the difference between her, the Jedi and even Edethrian whom I miss. They were my peers and instructors, but she was… and still is… my mate. Our journey to greater heights of strength, knowledge and wisdom brought us closer and closer together until nothing separated us. I remember an incident when, venturing further than usual, we were both struck blind to the Force. I maintained my calm, but Jen broke into passionate tears.
"I do not want to lose you… ever again… I was separated from you for so long…"
"But I am here."
"Lost, lost! To lose you is not life, it is death…"
Then I realized. When ysalamiri are in groups, they form "bubbles" where the Force cannot exist. This protects them from vornskyrs, who hunt exclusively using the Force. We must have been in a ysalamiri bubble, so I led her by hand back the way we came. When the Force flow returned to us, she collapsed, sighing tremendous relief, clutching the living grass.
"Oh never, never again may we be separated!"
I accused my inward portion, "You're taking my wife away from me."
My dubious ally smirked, "She was never yours."
888
Echani elders and her family consented to our union. Kissing her sisters, mother and father goodbye, Jen and I hitched a ride to Corellia, the place of my birth. There I sought out the Stargazer family. I was and am a Gray Jedi who is outside of the Order, so their rigid rules forbidding "emotional attachment" did not apply to me. I learnt my father had passed away, but my mother lived. She was over sixty years old. I had new brothers and a sister. They, too, were Force adepts, but were quietly employed by the Order as assistant librarians or diplomats after no Knight took them as padawans. I arranged a meeting, sat them down and explained my reasons for leaving the Order. My siblings were shocked that the Echani woman was my wife, but my mother was overjoyed. They all remarked on how young I looked for a person in his forties, and how beautiful Jen was – not that her beauty has diminished even slightly over the years! Astonishment rose when they noticed she had my inhuman violet eyes. I wrote it off to our connection with the Force, which binds all life together.
"Your marriage has completed my motherhood. I shall leave this mortal coil with gladness, and watch over you from the Force."
It was another similarity that Jen and I shared – both our mothers felt the touch of the Force.
888
From Corellia we traversed the void to Coruscant. I met my Knight in a bar, far from prying Jedi eyes. His hair had become white, yet his eyes gleamed ever bright.
"May your days together be plentiful," (and they were!) "I am glad you found your path."
"Take care, old friend," (for he was older than my mother) "The road goes on and on."
"I am not worried," he chuckled, "I have raised two Knights. She became a Sentinel, stationed on Dantooine. She is the last I raised. I will live out my days in the Library until the Force takes me."
"About that... will you follow me?"
Edethrian, Master Consular, nodded.
"After all this time, it is fitting that you lead the way."
888
I often questioned the purpose of the Force, but this was one of its more rewarding plans. We entered the Temple, causing a sensation that the "Renegade Jedi" had returned after two decades with "some Echani princess" in hand. Disciplined they may be, but Jedi are hopeless gossipers simply because they live too sheltered a life. Word spread quickly to the Council that held an impromptu meeting just for us, most of the Council members present in hologram.
"What brings you here, Stargazer?"
"Behold, Council. Not idly did I accuse your Order of being misdirected in its teachings against emotional attachment. Behold, one of your own Masters. Do you know of his past relationship?"
"This we know, but he atoned for it."
I released one bark of a derisive laugh.
"Atonement for love? You preach arrogance, when he was living in humility."
"We do not perceive the purpose of your tirade."
"Yes, purpose," I paced while Ed and Jen looked on, "The Force is our purpose, is it not? But have you ever asked, what is the purpose of the Force? Now you shall see firsthand: purpose!"
On cue, a man all shimmering blue appeared before us. His viridian eyes gazed at my Knight, who lifted a hand in yearning.
"What trickery is this?" the Council demanded.
"Trickery? This is the sublime Truth of the Force: that love, like life, once conceived, is never parted forever."
"Edith. I am truly home."
My Knight took one step, then another. In those deceptively meek movements, I could feel his lifetime of training melt away from his heart, mind and soul like ice before the inferno.
"Let me be with you."
The man with viridian eyes held out his hand to touch my Knight's.
"You are."
My Knight did not die. He became one with the Force, taking on its gentle blue hue of immortality as soft and silent as the wind passing by. The Council had shock written all over their faces, flesh and hologram alike. No-one had ever witnessed transubstantiation before. Jen and I held hands, watching the men embrace forever. Now that their happiness was complete, my parting words to the Council were stern.
"Know this. The Force lives in all life. To deny your life is to deny yourself. To deny yourself is to deny your feelings. To deny your feelings is to deny your purpose. To deny your purpose is to deny the Force."
They attempted to argue.
"But to settle the chaos of this galaxy, there are those who must deny their feelings for the greater good!"
"Have you had any luck in that venture at all? Were the Great Schisms and the Great Hyperspace War, in fact, victories? Heroes died on both sides, and where are we now? The galaxy is not at peace! How can the galaxy know peace when you, its leaders, claim to know peace, yet deny who you are?"
They opened their mouths to say something but shut them for lack of wisdom. Jen and I turned away as my Knight and his Knight drifted away… only until my purpose was fulfilled would I go to the place they had gone.