Though we disagreed with the Council, we would help the Republic. Granted such longevity, what else were we to do? As unofficial Jedi, we could not depend on Jedi sources, so we hunted Sith. Transportation fees were no problem – we offered our services as bodyguards on each ship we boarded, and had opportunities to prove our martial arts prowess on numerous craft. Fallen Jedi are found in their hidden places, lurking on the fringes of the galaxy. We were not brave or foolish enough to venture near Korriban, so our first encounter was in the capital of Onderon: Iziz, where a group of Sith had organized themselves to invade the city. We knew of it before the Republic did, simply because we were within the high stone walls when the attack happened. To this day, Sith gather where Jedi do – and vice versa. It was not mere chance that we had chosen Iziz. Nothing is ever left to chance.
Over the sound of blaster fire and panicked, fleeing citizens, I rallied her.
"Jen! Stop the assault troopers in the eastern and merchant quarter. I'll take the west!"
"May the Force be with you."
I laughed.
"When is it not?"
Summoning the hidden Force to our defense, we charged the ranks. Iziz infantry helped us, of course – no capital is without its army. We thrashed the unprepared Sith with colossal Force Waves, often breaking them against the walls they had broken through. Blaster fire bounced off our exposed backs, and those shots fired at us in front were sent right back where they came from. The Force is truly a powerful ally – our robes were not even singed. Regrouping at the Sky Ramp that led to the imperial palace, we found two Dark Jedi Masters cutting down royalist guards. The infantry raised their blasters.
"No! They'll deflect them right back at you. Let us end this, Jen."
We had the Force tear up the ground all the way to the Sith who, surprised, leapt out of the way and turned their attention to us.
"Jedi without lightsabers? You mock us."
"Your attack has failed. Surrender now, or be cast down."
"Brave words for two who are about to die."
The Sith are so clichéd. Jen curtsied to me.
"Mr. Stargazer?"
I arched an eyebrow and bowed.
"Mrs. Stargazer?"
"I dedicate this dance to you."
I took her proffered hand.
"Shall we?"
Red beams flashed at us. We pirouetted out of the way. Force Storms crackled. We held their fury in our hands, and tossed them aside (energy cannot be destroyed, but it is converted to other forms all the time). At this trick, the Dark Masters paused.
"What are you?"
"Happily married."
"You shall not prevail without your Jedi weapons!"
"Do you place so much faith in little things of light?"
We did not underestimate them. Each employed physical abuse and the taunting dun möch, kicking, punching and jeering when we dodged their fatal sabers. We returned blows in kind, but without their menacing threats or jests, attacking with efficient strength only Echani knew. I suspected that Jen and I shared a Force Bond, to the point that we attacked in similar fashion. We sent both Sith flying with open palm thrusts to the chest, both red sabers twirling through the air until we caught them, somersaulting backward and crossing sabers in a sizzling flash to herald the end of our dance.
"It was a pleasure, Mr. Stargazer."
"The honour is mine, Mrs. Stargazer."
When the Sith recovered, they sucked in breath and Force Screamed. We raised our hands simultaneously. Scream and Wave rippled through the air, meeting in an atmospheric detonation that blew us all back. When the Sith righted themselves, all they saw were shattered flagstones.
"Where are those Jedi?"
Their own lightsabers erupted through their chests, felling them. Jen and I emerged from Force Camouflage.
"That, my dear wife, is your first instruction in Tràkata, the concealed killer."
"You're a devious one, Joe."
In thanks, Iziz royalty gave us credits, white robes and silver focusing crystals, for we were "pure of heart" to defeat the "sinister evil". In hindsight, we did not win in the most honourable fashion, but we took the reward anyway. To this day our lightsabers and attire are white – the whole idea of "gray" Jedi did not appeal to our fashion sense. Now armed, we sought other crystals, lens, emitters and power cells to upgrade our sabers. Being alone with no Republic army to support them tends to drive Jedi to increase their own strengths, and that is what we did for the next millennium.
888
Knowing we knew next to nothing about computer systems or how to repair anything other than our weapons, we sought knowledge among the Zabraks of Iridonia. They were – and are to this day – master technicians, and, being the picky people we are, Jen and I settled for nothing less than the best. We sampled expert academies, learning about binary code and what the difference between a hydrospanner and plasma torch is. Zabraks are a quietly passionate people… they are overall easygoing, but when they conceive an idea, they labour tirelessly to bring it to fruition. We learnt the value of their frankness and candor, understanding that openness disarms those one wishes to manipulate via subtler methods. And we are masterful manipulators: that is how we waived our tuition fees (we never Forced anyone to give us free classes, however, as calm persuasion is far more effective and eventually convinces the person they thought that way all along). After a year, we built our first hovering droid that followed us around, recording notes, relaying messages and playing holovids. Another year found us disabling landmines with the Force. When five years passed, we built a hyperdrive ship using bare components, assembling its navigation computer with spare parts and christening it Stardust. Clichéd, but it was Jen's idea, and never in all history has a husband been able to change his wife's mind.
888
Aboard Stardust we chased Sith on the Outer Rim, parading as a freight vessel trafficking illegal weaponry to the Mandalorians (say what you will about their warring clans, they make excellent scapegoats for unlawful endeavours). Our most notable incident was within a purplish nebula offset by twin stars; one blue, one white. We were there to take recordings of that beautiful stellar accident when sensors indicated a battle cruiser without an ID signature code. Mandalorians are proud and broadcast their ship codes as though they are the latest swoop bike holovids, so this lack of ID meant Sith.
"Tractor beam initiated. Preparing to dock with enemy ship," Jen reported with utmost composure, as if Stardust was not several thousand times smaller than their wartime behemoth.
"Docking complete... cargo door is being sliced."
"Let's say hello," I suggested. Of course I felt trepidation – this titan could very well hold an army, even the remnants of war machines they used on Coruscant. Due to the dark energies permeating this vessel, I could not sense definite presences, but perceived them as one views a school of fish swimming in a muddy pool – slippery, shadowy, difficult to predict. Even the lighting of the place was murky, mimicking the Dark Side imprint on their aura. Judging by the stale smell, air scrubbers maintained a minimal atmosphere. If anything lived aboard this death ship, it was less than – or not – human.
"Here they come."
Five of them shifted from darkness to redder light. Judging by their tremor swords, these were masterblades – elite Sith who defeated ten or more lightsaber combatants. While the others surrounded, one of them peered at us, her eyes atrophied.
"Jedi," was the rasping hiss, "Your auras pollute this place."
"I return the compliment."
"Kill them!"
Sarcasm is lost on these death dealers. We threw them with Force Waves, removing their sword hands while they were stunned. Leaving them screeching like stuck mynocks, we advanced to the command deck, neutralizing the guards with Stasis Fields and crushing concealed turrets that tried to shoot our backs. And then things went wrong. Thinking we had found the door to the bridge, I went first while she watched our rear, and the door magnetically sealed between us. Its particle field foiled my lightsaber. I confronted the darkness.
No less than twenty red lightsabers flared.
"Die alone, separated from your love!"
I raised my weapon between my eyes, praying quietly, "Jen, be safe."
"Your pretty wife is even now being cut down by our Force Immune masterblades."
I swept my arm outward, igniting my saber whose white flash revealed their evil faces. Energy akin to electricity washed over my nerves and focused in my eyes.
"In this night, you will learn what is eternal."
Raising my hand, I discovered they, too, were Force Immune, but there are certain techniques against which there is no defense.
"FORCE PARALYSIS!"
This power I created when Vornskyr assailed us not only blinds the target to the Force but renders motor functions inert. It requires extensive knowledge of the Force and biology of the individual's species – two fields I studied well, cross-referenced and combined in this technique. The one who had threatened me seized up, caught by a giant's grip inside his body, while I relieved him of his sneering head. I turned and carved another from chin to ribcage. Five beams raced toward my head – I jumped, found the ceiling to be high, rebounded off it and dived into one who fell to pieces. When they renewed the assault, I took hold of the metal flooring and tore it wide open, moving it in waves so that they were scattered and two smashed between. One who leaped farther than the rest earned the honour of being the first to cross blades. With one hand on my hilt, I used my other hand to Force Push my blade, pressing him inexorably to the ground until his own saber burned through his throat. I somersaulted behind one that thought he could stab me in the back, searing his spinal cord from neck to thigh. His death convulsions were particularly grotesque. Three who rushed me ran into a metal wall I bent from the floor. I rolled them up and swung it like a hammer, bashing Sith into the ground, slamming them into walls and mashing them onto the ceiling until two got the bright idea of cutting my hammer – and the Sith trapped inside – apart. Bewildered by my vicious assault, they cried, "What manner of Jedi are you?"
"I am Stargazer Joe, and it is the last name you will ever hear."
I raised my hand. Five of the Sith lightsabers that escaped destruction flew to me, igniting in a red pentagon. The six remaining Sith raised their hands against me to summon a ferocious Force Storm that liquefied the metal underfoot, electrifying the entire room, causing their navigation equipment to explode. They could not match their Force with mine – I easily traced their diseased energies, saw that they lacked harmony, and thus broke them. Shocked, they hurried to slay me by the sword, and that is when I let my collection of lightsabers fly. Five of them ended with beams transfixing their chests. The last one gibbered incoherently, showing his true self when faced with the inescapable doom of his allies' lightsabers flourishing around me. He tried to commit suicide, but I snatched his saber from his hands. Blazing like a red sun behind me, the Sith lightsabers followed in a devastating hurricane as I dashed towards the lone Sith. There was instant contact, one scream, and sizzling flesh. He came apart in tiny Sith cubes.
888
Now that the computer terminals were overloaded, I Forced the doors open to find Jen in what can only be described as an orgy of death. Sith were in their component parts all over the room that held a gut-churning stench of cooked meat.
"What happened?"
Her eyes were wide, afraid of what they had done – or what she had done.
"They attacked, about ten of them, so I tried pushing them back, but they were immune, like ysalamiri."
She walked about the room, staring at the carnage as she recounted the horror that revolted her but would do more damage if left unsaid.
"So I fell back to my Echani training, and singled out opponents. The others thought I would be too busy focusing on one, but they were wrong. I had my back turned to most of them, so they did not know how I would attack – a jab to the midriff, a roundhouse kick to the head… but that's when their backup arrived. All of them, I don't remember how many, used Force Lightning."
Then the tears came, dripping down her flushed cheeks.
"I tried to hold it back. I tried to redirect it, but all the energy was coming from them. They were the conductors; it was easier to send it back at them. I tried, Joe! I tried, but I wasn't strong enough! I thought I was going to die. So I sent it back to them. But they weren't as strong as I was. They couldn't handle it, so they…" she looked at the grisly scene. I rested my hands on her shoulders, and she became limp as a puppet whose strings are cut. I carried her, feeling her total exhaustion.
"Why," I asked my unseen ally, "Why must there be death to bring about balance?"
He, she or it was oddly pensive before replying, "Redemption is sacrifice."
Unfulfilled by our actions or the Force's motive, we retreated.