Ed- I have a very grave announcement… The Plushie Bandit has a severe case of MNBT, and won't be joining us today… (smirks)
Roy- I'm afraid to ask, but what's MNBT?
Ed- (grins) Massive Nose Bleeding Trauma. She passed out after she re-read her lemon. (rubs hands together) I can't wait!
Roy- (leers) Neither can I…
Ed- Just so you know, this is the lime version. Don't know why any of you would want to read this when there's a lemon, but not my problem. You can find the lemon at http colon slash slash www. livejournal. com/ users/ plushiebandit/ Don't put any spaces in. Click the "COME GET YOUR LEMONADE!" in bold print. That's probably really confusing, but fanfiction. net is gay.
Roy- Be warned, the Bandit only has the lemon on her LJ. The actual story is just here. (thinks) I'm sure that's all the announcements…
Ed- Well, before we dive head first into lemon kingdom… or lime kingdom for the people with weak stomachs, Roy's gonna read the disclaimer.
Roy- (picks up piece of paper) "Disclaimer- The Plushie Bandit in no way makes any money off of her fics, even though she knows a few people willing to pay for a smut scene." …. Errr… yeah. (burns paper) Roll the fic.
(A/N) ………. (nosebleeds and watches innocence fly out the window)
Roy yawned loudly as a ray of golden light hit him square in the face. He started nuzzling his face in his lover's silky tresses, a tiny bit distressed. Usually, he loved waking up with Ed in his arms, but today was a different matter; they both had to go back to work. Vacation was over.
In response to the rubbing in his hair, Ed squirmed and pressed his hands against Roy's chest. "Mmm… too early…" he mumbled before lightly snoring again. "Go back ta sleep…" Roy, however, was not to be deterred. If he had to be up in the ungodly hours of the morning, so did Edward.
Grinning deviously, Roy started at the neck, slowly licking the juncture about Ed's collarbone. At first there was no response, but Roy knew his lover's body very well by now. He kept drawing his tongue against the now moist skin carefully, then nipping with his teeth before traveling to some other part of his neck and giving it the same treatment. Before long he had Ed purring like a kitten.
Ed cracked an annoyed eye open. "Bastard…" he growled, but his relaxed voice lacked any conviction. "You're just doing this to keep me up."
"What was your first clue?" Roy mumbled around a piece of Ed's flesh, biting down gently then soothing away the pleasurable ache with his tongue. Ed had to suppress the shudder threatening to run down his spine.
"Roy… we have work. Our vacation's over." Roy sighed in annoyance, pulling back slightly.
"Yes, I know that Edward."
"Then you know it means no morning sex, right?"
Roy resisted the urge to whine. "Eeeeeddd…." Well, he tried not to whine… "We always have sex in the morning…" It was known to everyone in his special unit and probably the rest of the world that he was a sex maniac. No morning sex meant his usual supply would be caught in half, and the fact appalled him to no end. One could always tell when the man hadn't gotten any; the damage ranged from third-degree burns to offices left in explosive ruins.
"Stop griping, old man." Ed chuckled as Roy shot a glare his way with his nose in the air.
"I'll have you know that I look outrageously handsome for a man my age," he stated regally.
"Yeah, well you performance isn't that good," Ed retorted. He rolled on his stomach, laughing at Roy's sour face. "I mean, only once a night? Remember when we could go at it for hours?"
"Well I must be doing something right." Roy smirked and climbed closer until his chest pushed down on Ed's back. "You keep coming back," he whispered quietly, lowering his head and grazing his lips against the blonde's ear. "Every. Single. Night."
"Roy, you're heavy. Get off me."
"Kill joy," Roy pouted, but complied with the request. "Do we really have to get ready? I mean, we're both such high ranks that no one could do anything." It was such a tempting idea, skipping work. Then he could have his morning bout…
"Correction. You're the high rank." Ed subconsciously burrowed into the covers, part of his mind still gripping onto sleep. "I'm just the guy fucking the Fuhrer." He yawned loudly. Roy wasn't the only one who didn't want to get up. And the lack of morning sex would be a major setback. Ed could already picture it: him walking around with a boner the length of his metal arm. Or even better, Roy squirming at his desk, thinking about Ed naked and moaning while he poun--
'Alright, stop that train of thought!' If he was planning on stopping Roy's advances, he'd have to have a lust-cleared head, and maybe a few well placed threats
Ed glanced at Roy, who was trying to look innocent while his hand inched closer to Ed's unclothed groin. 'Make that a lot of threats.' He kinda wished they both didn't sleep in the nude right now. "I'm serious, Roy. We can't. I'll make it up to you later tonight, alright?" This didn't avert his lover's attention at all. If anything, it spurred Roy on.
"That won't change the fact that I'm only getting half of my original dose." The hand brushed against Ed's thigh and the blonde shuddered, his mind starting to shut down. Damn Roy for being so good at this!
With the last of his sanity, Ed scooted out of Roy's reach and forced himself to sit upright. "If you touch me again I'll bite that hand off, Roy," he warned. Roy just grinned and slowly sat up too, eyeing Ed hungrily. Ed knew this was a losing battle if he didn't change the subject fast. "Come on, Roy. Hawkeye will shoot you if we don't hurry up. You should know how she gets."
"She wouldn't shoot a Fuhrer," Roy reasoned, still scooting over toward his evasive lover. "And she knows enough about our sex life to understand my 'special' needs."
"'Special' needs?" Ed snorted. "I've spoiled you, that's all."
"Exactly," Roy murmured. "And you better start spoiling me soon. I don't mind taking you in public... Or my office." Ed's face began to burn as he remembered some of their more… adventurous couplings. Damn, now he was starting to get hard.
"But we're still sticky from last night!" Ed moved to the back of the bed, still keeping a wary eye on Roy.
Roy shrugged and continued following, not caring about that in the least. "Ed, I'm so used to having semen on my body I might as well wear it to work. What makes you think being sticky will make me shun sex? Good sex has to be sticky. If it's not sticky, then it wasn't that good."
"Roy," Ed said desperately. He wanted to give in, but they had responsibilities. Really, sometimes Ed thought he was the older of the two, especially with the way Roy was acting. "Stop being such a horny bastard and go take a shower." Roy stubbornly kept staring at Ed, refusing to comply. In a last ditch effort, Ed brought up the first thing that came into his mind. "What was it you were dreaming about last night?"
It was like he uttered the magic word. All advances halted as Roy's eyes got wide, his face drained of color, and then his passive mask immediately slipped on like a reflex.
"It was nothing important."
Ed stared at him. Then his face darkened, and the playful mood of the morning retreated. "Liar," Ed growled angrily, his golden eyes glittering. He hated when Roy reverted back to wearing his indifference mask. "Stop hiding your feelings, damn you!" It had been a long time since Roy did that, but it still managed to piss him off anyway.
Roy flinched slightly and let the mask go, feeling ashamed. "Edward, that was a complete accident," he said seriously. "I… it was about the realm."
Silence reigned, and then all of Ed's anger slipped away from him, sympathy quickly taking up the emotional void. 'Damn, I should've known that was the reason.' All the man did was nod in understanding and wait for the raven-haired man to continue.
"…It's been a while since I've had this one. The Dream Alchemist… he…" Roy choked on his words and looked away, unwilling to say anymore. "It's nothing. It was just a dream."
"Roy… It's fine," Ed said slowly, knowing how Roy felt. "He didn't get me. How else could I be here?"
Roy still refused to look his direction. "I almost lost you." When Ed listened closely he could tell the man's voice was trembling like a frightened child. "He took everyone away…"
"Roy, stop it!" Ed felt alarm seep in. He didn't want this to happen to Roy. Not again. "Calm down!"
When Roy did turn toward him, the man sucked in a harsh breath. A ghastly pale face with hollow eyes stared through Ed, despairing in a nightmare only he could see.
'Oh god, not now.' "Roy! Don't you dare blank out on me now!" Ed jumped onto Roy's lap and shook him hard. "Damn you, Mustang! It's over! The Dream Alchemist is gone! We killed him!" The raven haired man's head swayed with the force of Ed's shaking, his glazed eyes trying to come into focus but not quite succeeding. "Roy, please! Don't do this again!"
"…E-ed…" The man blinked a few times. "Edward…"
The golden-eyed man squawked when Roy awoke from his trance and crushed him into a hug. "If you did all that just to get me in your lap, I swear I'll--"
"I'm sorry," Roy said simply, not trusting his voice for long. It already sounded constricted to him. He allowed his feelings to control him, and he rocked back and forth on the bed with Ed securely in his arms. God, Roy hated when this happened; it was the same every time. The nightmares came back and the flashbacks started up, the realm's parting gift to him and Ed. Even sleeping right next to his lover did little to crush the fear of losing him again to Deception's madness.
Ed bore the hug patiently, letting himself be cradled like a child. It was odd; Roy was the one who needed comfort, yet Ed was the one being held. 'He needs something to protect,' he thought. 'He needs to know he can keep me safe.'
Ed trusted his love with his life. He couldn't tell Roy that enough, but at times like this it never helped. Words were useless in these instances. The realm had dealt Roy the hardest mental damage of the four, Deception messed with his mind until the man couldn't tell dream from reality. Sometimes Roy would wake up staring at Ed as if he was a phantom, or he'd press his hands against the air, waiting for his body to pass through and disappear. 'Damn you, Deception.' In his own way, their enemy had gotten the last laugh.
"I'm sorry, Ed," Mustang said again, more sure of his voice. Ed shifted around to find a more comfortable position.
"It's not like you mean to, idiot," Ed reproved, tucking his head under Roy's chin. "We can't help what happened back in there…"
"I know," Roy conceded, hating himself for being so weak. For years the suffocating pressure of weakness and failure pressed against his heart constantly, and there was still nothing he could do about it. It drove him insane. Just like during the war, the night was his enemy, nightmares attacking at every angle as he tried to sleep. The only difference this time was when he woke up in the morning, he had to convince himself he wasn't dreaming anymore.
Ed could hear the self-degradation in Roy's voice and sighed. There was only one good way to fix this problem…
The golden haired man untucked himself from his lover's grasp and kissed him firmly on the lips.
Roy made a noise in the back of his throat, pulling away. "Ed, no. I didn't mean for y--"
"Shut up, Roy. Let's have your morning bout so we can go to work," Ed snapped, though his eyes were gentler than his tone. "You better enjoy this, because this is the last time you'll get morning sex for a while."
The Fuhrer stared at him in obvious surprise, feeling his lips twitch into a smile. He leaned back down to Ed. "Thank you," he mouthed before slipping his lips over the other man's.
Ed felt himself relax and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck to pull him closer. 'Oh well,' he thought. They'd be late, but at least he'd get his fix. Roy wasn't the only one addicted.
Roy adjusted the angle of his head so Ed's lips were fitted perfectly against his own. He dipped his tongue into the crevice of Ed's mouth, teasing the slick muscle he found into dancing with its counterpart. In return the golden-eyed man eagerly sucked it deeper inside, and Roy smirked into the kiss, pleased with the amount of enthusiasm his partner showed. He then ran his tongue over the sensitive underside of the mouth and traced every tooth he could reach before continuing his previous game of tonsil tag.
Ed let a soft moan out, wriggling on Roy's lap. At first he let Roy take the reins and guide most of the kiss, but soon his more aggressive nature kicked in and it was an all-out fight for control. He slid his tongue inside Roy's mouth, trying to beat Roy's tongue into submission while searching for a taste that wasn't really there but he could find nonetheless; the fervor and heat and cocky passion that described Mustang to the very core. The taste alone drove Ed's senses wild until he was feeling around every crevice for the essence that was purely Roy.
The temperature in the room rose as the men moved and grinded and moaned against each other in arousal. Finally, breathing became a troublesome necessity and Roy pulled away first, a trail of saliva stretching between their panting mouths. The blush painting Ed's cheeks and his neck caused the older man to chuckle. Ed frowned at him.
"Why," he panted, "are you looking so damn smug?" Roy just shook his head, not ready to answer. That made Ed frown harder. "If you don't answer, I swear I'll take a shower right now and leave you with a hard on."
"No need to break the mood, Edward," Roy purred, pulling Ed's head back so he could have access to the neck. "I was just admiring how wanton you look, naked on my lap," he whispered, his voice growing softer with each word and deeper with lust. He licked from Ed's Adam's apple all the way to his upturned chin and watched his lover shudder in pleasure. "Mmm… Edward… You taste good," he whispered before attacking the soft neck once more, biting and sucking on the skin.
He couldn't help it. Ed whimpered helplessly, unable to move his head… not that he really wanted to. While part of him constantly fought in the power struggle he and Roy never truly grew out of, there was another part that loved to submit and let Roy control him; his inner kink, as the Fuhrer loved to call it. Plus, Roy needed this, needed to know that he still had Ed with him, that all his dreams were nothing more than that. Just dreams.
"Ngh… stop teasing me and get to the point, bastard. We're on a time limit." Roy just grinned against Ed's skin.
"No need to be in a hurry, Edward," Roy purred softly. "I want this to last…"
Ed wriggled and moaned in want, not wasting any energy with a glare. "Well, I want it now. Give it to me, or I'll finish myself off and leave you hanging."
The needy state of his lover was hard to ignore, and Roy felt the pull to be inside the man. "Well, I am I gentleman," he mused. "Maybe I can indulge you this one time." In response, Ed bucked against him and Roy hissed through his teeth. "Yes, I think we should hurry." Patience was something they both lacked.
With a trembling hand, Roy searched the sheets of their bed for any lube left over from last night. "Damn it, I know it's here somewhere…" He could never remember where he put the tube.
Ed rolled his eyes and climbed off Roy's lap, reaching under his pillow.
"Good thing I intercepted it when you tried throwing it to the ground," Ed said with a smirk, dangling the lube between his fingers, teasingly.
Roy growled and held out his hand, waiting for Ed to throw him the lube. Now wasn't the time to tease. Instead, Ed moved away until he'd put some distance between Roy and himself, paying no attention to the pout Roy sent him. With a saucy grin, he leaned away so the covers met his back and spread his legs open shamelessly, mewling softly as he trailed his index finger down to his excited organ. "Ngh… Roy, take me now." When his hand met his erection, the shaft twitched with want. "Don't bother with lube. Give it to me now."
All thoughts fled Mustang's mind at the erotic sight before him, a burst of energy propelling him forward and on top of Edward. "You're something else you know, that?" he said breathlessly.
Ed just grinned up at him, eyes clouded heavily with lust. "Shut up and fuck me, you bastard."
"Hughes…" Havoc started, eying his friend warily, "If you keep pacing back and forth like that I'm gonna have to smoke for you." If the tall man heard his friend at all, he gave no indication. Without a word he continued to walk up and down the length of the visitor's room in grave silence, every now and then throwing a worried glance at the door to the ER room as if expecting it to be tossed open at his glare.
"I agree with Havoc," Hawkeye spoke up, her voice the epitome of forced patience. "You've already scared half the nurses away. Please, just sit down."
In an instant, Armstrong was up in the center of the room, his muscles practically trembling in excitement. "It warms my heart to see such fatherly worry!" he boomed, striking as many poses as possible. "But if it pleases you, I'd be happy to immobilize the father-to-be in order to prevent anymore injury to unsuspecting nur--"
"That's alright, Armstrong," Fury said quickly, effectively cutting off the excited alchemist. "I'm sure we don't have to hold Hughes down." He absently brushed a sparkle off his shoulder when he glanced at said man.
For once Hughes stood still, head bent while he ignored all noise around him. His back was toward his friends, and he faced the ER door. His silence was slightly unnerving; it was so unusual to see the upbeat man so grave and distraught, especially when the situation didn't necessarily call for it.
"Hughes, come sit down," Hawkeye said again, more gently. "I'm sure Gracia is fine. After all, she gave birth to Elicia without a doctor."
Hughes heaved a loud sigh, then finally spoke for the first time in fifteen minutes. "Yeah, but what if they mess up?" he whined. "Did you see what they were doing to her in there? Poking her with sharp needles and shoving pills the size of my shoe down her throat! Is that how pregnancies are supposed to go?" Steadily, the man worked himself up into a new frenzy, his eyes now boring holes through the ER doors. "And I really don't think that doctor knows what he's doing. He's just standing there, staring at her, which I find very disturbing and sick. I mean, what doctor stares at a woman there when she's about to give birth? HUH? I bet you all his intentions aren't the purest!" Before anyone could interrupt, Hughes continued to plow on. "And those damn nurses! One of them was on a break while my Gracia lay there in constant pain! I'd like to take that cup of coffee and shove it up her ass! Bet that will give her the boost she needs to get back to work!"
Everyone grimaced at the mental picture that provided. Seeing Hughes this worked up was a first for them all, even Hawkeye. Not only had Gracia ordered him to stay out of the ER, but the man had scared off three nurses and counting. It was probably a blessing that he'd missed Elicia's birth; Gracia would've murdered him on the spot.
Hughes wriggled in worry and misery, not able to stand the waiting for much longer. "I have to see what they're doing to her! If there's one hair missing on her head, I'll kill everyone in this godforsaken hospital!"
That brought everyone to attention.
"Hughes don't!" Fury shouted.
"Bad move, I'm telling you," Havoc said.
"Hughes, if you move I will order Armstrong to restrain you," Hawkeye warned.
Armstrong flexed his arm muscles menacingly. "Mr. Hughes, I must take in account the well-being of every innocent person in this hospital. I will hold you down with a move passed down by the Armstrong family for generations, a move so powerful it will leave everyone in awe." With a grunt, his entire shirt ripped to shreds and the man's massive chest was revealed, sparkles filling the air with their suffocating pinkness. "HHH! The Hectic Husband Hold!" He posed, letting everyone feel the power of his presence.
"… On second thought, I'll just sit down right now," Hughes muttered, greatly disturbed. He walked over to the couch where Hawkeye sat, avoiding as many sparkles as possible. "I get the point, Armstrong. Turn off your sparkles before someone chokes."
"Sorry. Habit." The pink lights flickered and fell to the floor.
Just as Hughes took his seat, the ER doors swung open and revealed a young nurse, smiling brightly at them all. "Is there a Mr. Hughes here?"
Hughes jumped up as if his ass were on fire. "I'm right here! Is Gracia all right? What happened? Are there any complications?"
The nurse looked taken back. "Umm… no."
"I knew it! That fuckin' doctor has no clue what he's doing, does he? I bet he took a knife and cut her open like some preserved frog for a science project, didn't he? DIDN'T HE!" Hughes' eyes burned into her with fervor, the light from the ceiling making his glasses flash. "Why that ignorant prick! I told him he didn't know shit about my wife! How dare he assume he knows what's best for MY Gracia! I'll make sure he and every damn soul in this hospital rots in hell for this! YOU HEAR ME! HELL!" The nurse whimpered and backed away, fearing for her safety.
"Hughes!" Hawkeye said sharply. "Nothing is wrong!"
"Huh?" Hughes looked over his shoulder at the woman, his expression one of surprise. "OH!" He rounded on the nurse. "Why didn't you say so?" He smiled sunnily at her. "So, what was it you wanted to say?"
"T-the baby's been delivered," she whimpered, quivering from fright. "I was sent here to fetch you so you can go see your son."
A moment of silence reined, the occupants of the room waiting for Hughes' reaction.
"A-a boy?" Hughes whispered, eyes wide. "A baby boy? You mean I have a son?" The nurse tried to smile while nodding, but it came out a bit forced.
"Yes, a boy," she answered. "Congratulations s-- AHHHH!"
Hughes rushed at her, pinning the frightened woman in a death hug. "I'M A DADDY! I HAVE A SON! DID YOU HEAR THAT! A BABY BOY!" He swung the woman around, laughing and crying at the same time while she shrieked in terror. "A BOY! A BOY!"
"Hey Hughes," Havoc laughed, "maybe you should let the girl go and leave to see that son of yours. I'm sure he'd like to see his crazy daddy." Everyone made similar comments, doing their best to get Hughes out of the room.
Hughes gasped as he stopped spinning. "You're right! I need to be taking pictures! What the hell am I still doing here?" He dropped the woman like a sack of potatoes and fled. "IT'S A BOY! A BOY! I HAVE A SON!"
"…Should we follow?" Fury asked nervously. "He doesn't know the way…" They all glanced at the nurse on the floor and shook their heads.
"Don't worry, he'll find his way. And I'd rather let him have some time to calm down before we see the newest member of the Hughes family," Havoc answered, lighting a cigarette. He had refrained from smoking earlier, so as not to suffer Hughes' wrath. The man was something else when Gracia was pregnant.
The young nurse, still lying on the floor, physically shook from the trauma. "Is he always like that?" she asked incredulously. She'd seen some crazy people in her life, but this… it was almost enough to make her quit nursing.
Hawkeye glanced down at her and stood up, a smile playing at her lips. "You should be thankful. He never once tried showing you his photo collection."
"Hawkeye, where are you going?" Fury asked the departing woman.
"I have a phone call to make," she answered simply. 'That damn Fuhrer better be at work or else.'
Ed yawned again, his body too sated to move. If he loved sex, he relished the lazy afterglow even more. "As nice as this is, we need to get ready for work," he reproved.
"Yes we should…" Roy agreed. He made no move to get out of bed.
"… I was serious, you lazy ass. We still need to take showers… Alone."
Roy's grin died. "You are absolutely no fun, Edward."
Ed ignored that comment. "Then we have to eat… well, maybe we can skip that."
The taller man nuzzled the side of Ed's neck. "I'm sure Amber has something ready for us."
In response, the golden haired man snorted. "Well, I hate having her doing all the work around here. It's not fair to her. We're both capable of cooking our own food."
"Edward, it's what she's paid to do."
"Yeah, well I still don't like treating her like a slave at our beck and call."
"She's not a slave. She's a maid that's served in my family for two generations. I assure you she's perfectly happy, especially the way you spoil her with raises."
"Oh shut up, bastard." Ed rolled away from Roy's grasp and sat up. "All this doesn't change the fact that we need to get ready for work, Roy. I'm serious."
Wanting to hold out as long as possible, Roy dug his head in the pillow. "I know," he said, voice muffled by the cloth in his mouth. "But we would save more time if we took a shower together…"
"No." Ed shot Roy a glare. "If I take a shower with you, we'll never leave." He walked over to the drawers, pulling one open in search of clean underwear. "I'm not stupid, you pervert."
"Yes, I know you're not stupid," Roy sighed, lifting his head to eye his lover's ass. "Sometimes I wish you were, though." A blunt object thrown his way was his answer, clocking him directly in the forehead. The raven haired man didn't give Ed the satisfaction of hearing him grunt in pain. "This is no way to treat a person who brings you to orgasm everyday."
With all his clothes picked out, Ed walked to their private bathroom. "I disagree. I think I treat myself pretty damn good." He ran into the bathroom before the pillow could hit him, laughing at Roy over his shoulder.
"Little ungrateful…" Roy childishly stuck his tongue out at the closed door. 'Well, there goes my entertainment.' He had been serious; if they took a shower together, they'd be done quicker. He could behave when needed… though it would be fun to get Ed riled up in the shower. Maybe he should surprise his young lover and join him anyway. It wasn't like they locked the bathroom door.
While lost in his not-so-clean thoughts, the door to the bedroom crept open with a giggle. In a feeble attempt at cunningness, a pair of tiny feet made their way over to the bed, body keeping low to the ground so as not to be seen. If not for the giggling, the effort of sneaking up on Roy might've been somewhat successful.
Unfortunately for the newcomer, Roy had long ago detected the other presence in the room. Whoever was trying to ambush him was a complete amateur; a rhino could do a better job.
Dark eyes shifted to the side, catching a flash of dark hair and bright, golden eyes. "Just who are you?" Roy asked, his tone indifferent. He already knew who it was, or that's what he tried telling himself. Part of him refused to listen to the rest of his brain, insisting that the newcomer was an unknown. Other than Amber, there shouldn't be anyone in the house.
A burst of laughter erupted from the bedside, and a tiny head popping up to stare at Roy with shining eyes. "Heehee! Did I scare you, daddy?"
Roy's face froze. 'Daddy?'
Hughes cradled the tiny body to his chest, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. 'It's a boy…' He still couldn't get over it. He had a son. Another little angel in his life.
It could already be seen the boy favored his father in appearance, the splitting image of Hughes. Shocking green eyes stared up at Hughes, along with a cute button nose and a round face. The tiny mouth curled slightly at the sides, the baby's attempt at a smile; he even had his father's grin.
"Just look at you," Hughes whispered. "You're gonna grow up to be a strong one, aren't ya? Yes you are!"
Hughes continued cooing to his son for a while longer, rocking the baby back and forth in a gentle motion until the tiny eyes could hold out no longer and slipped shut. Reluctantly, he placed the boy into the cradle, giving him a soft kiss and tender words before backing away, his heart full with happiness for the future and new love.
"Hmmm… the hospital is still standing. I'll take it everything went as scheduled?"
"Ha ha ha. Roy, you're a riot, you know that?" Hughes turned around to see the man leaning inside the doorway, smirk firmly in place. "Nice to know you finally decided to show up."
Roy immediately sobered. "Maes, I never me--"
Hughes held up a hand, grinning. "I was joking, Roy. You are the Fuhrer now. No big deal." He waved his best friend over with glee. "Come on! You have to see him!" Roy raised an eyebrow as he observed Hughes' almost childish delight and walked over. The man would never change.
Hughes watched Roy peer down, waiting for a reaction. "Isn't he beautiful?" Hughes gushed, almost dancing on the spot. "I can't wait for Elicia to see her new baby brother!"
A smile graced Roy's usually smirking face. "He looks exactly like you. The women of the world should watch out."
Hughes puffed his chest out with pride. "He'll be a real heartbreaker, won't he? Of course, I'll have to teach him better…" The taller man started to frown. "This will be different than raising Elicia; I don't want to baby him too much. He is a guy after all… And if he gets into any fights, I have to let him deal with them by himself… and then there's making sure he doesn't turn into a bully. I don't want my son acting like that… And what if--"
"You'll do a fine job of raising him, Maes," Roy cut in. "Don't worry. You have Gracia and everyone else backing you up."
Hughes fixed him with a stare. "That includes you?" he asked, his question hesitant.
"Of course that means me as well, you dumbass," Roy scoffed. "I should slap you for even saying that."
Feeling oddly at ease, Hughes smiled at him. "Thanks, Roy." He couldn't begin to describe how much that meant to him.
The dense sappiness in the air was a bit constricting for Roy, so he quickly changed the subject. "Have you named him yet?"
"Surprisingly, no. I want Gracia to have a say." Hughes shrugged to himself. "Well, I should be the one to name him; she named Elicia, but never mind that."
"Do you have any names in mind?"
Hughes scratched his head in thought. "Well… there is one I like, but I'm not sure Gracia will approve…"
Roy looked down at the sleeping baby, making his own judgment. "I think he looks like a Joshua… maybe a Jacob." He nodded to himself. "I'm leaning more towards a Joshua." Roy felt Hughes' eyes on him. "What?"
"I swear, we must've been brothers in another lifetime," Hughes mused. "I want to name him Joshua."
Roy hummed, not all that surprised. "Well, he looks like one." Gently, he reached out to the little hand, smiling as it immediately curled around his index finger. "I think it's a fine name for him. Gracia will definitely agree."
"I hope so…" Hughes sighed, watching Roy play with the baby's hand. "Say, where's Ed?" It was odd to see those two separated.
"Had to send him and Shayla out on a mission; even now, they both still like doing the grunt work. Can't stand being in an office for long." The memory brought a rueful quirk of the lips. "He insisted he take this mission, and apologized if he missed the birth of the baby. And the mission was right up Shayla's alley, so she decided to go as well."
In response Hughes chuckled at Roy's regretful look. "You look like Havoc when Fury takes away his smokes. He'll be back soon, won't he?"
"I sent them out a week ago, so it should be any day now. Of course, you can never tell with Fullmetal and Angel." Hughes almost laughed out right at that and nodded his head in agreement. So true; Ed was always good for a shock, and Shayla could be something else when she wanted to be. "Knowing them, they'll be here later today."
"He's still got it," Shayla said, shaking her brown hair back and forth in awe. "Roy, you know how to call them."
"Damn, I lost that bet," Ed muttered, stepping into the nursery. He mock glared at his lover. "You cost me thirty dollars, you bastard."
Like a reflex, Roy smirked at the shorter man and waggled his eyebrows. "Oh don't worry. I promise to make it up to you later."
"Damn right. I want one hell of a lap dance for this."
If not for the babies, Shayla and Hughes would've howled at Roy's redding face. Seeing their dear Fuhrer in such a position was priceless.
"Times like this I really hate you," Roy monotoned, forcing his face to return to its normally pale color.
"Aw, don't be like that. I'll even let you top tonight," Ed simpered, batting his eyelashes.
Shayla fled the room in fear of waking the children up, but her peals of laughter could still be heard. Hughes sank to the floor, back shaking and every now and then a snort escaping. Only Roy didn't see any amusement in Ed's comment.
"When the hell did you get so good at this game?" Roy growled, striding up to Edward in a huff.
With a sly smile, Ed wrapped his arms around the taller man and snuggled against him. "It's just because you've missed me. Being lonely eats away at your wit."
Roy dipped his head down and gave Ed a fierce kiss. "No, I was just going easy on you," he muttered against Ed's lips. "But for those insults, I'm chaining you to the bed tonight." Ed raised golden eyebrows, his orbs flickering with challenge.
"If you think you can keep me still for that long, be my guest."
"Hey you two," Shayla clucked from the doorway, "No sex talk in front of the children. We'll corrupt Hughes' son soon enough." As soon as the words were uttered, the short woman let out a squeal and rushed over to the cradle. "Is this him? Oh, he's so adorable! And my gods, he looks exactly like you! You are so lucky, Hughes!" She made soft baby sounds even though the boy was asleep. "Guess what? I'm your Auntie Shayla! I'm gonna spoil you like nobody's business!"
Edward came over as well, though not as enthusiastically as Shayla. "Poor kid. He was born into a crazy family." His smile joined Shayla's when he took a look at the new edition to the Hughes family. "He looks like you, Hughes. Your kid has terrible luck. I bet he'll be saddled with glasses."
Hughes sniffed and shot Ed a wounded look. "That was mean! And here I was gonna name you and Roy godparents!"
The shock on Ed's face was priceless. "Are you serious?" A grin split his face in half. "That's quite an honor!"
"Yeah, well I don't want you being the godparent now!" Hughes growled, not sounding very convincing. "Insulting my kid like that! The nerve!"
"I'm astounded that no pictures were shoved in my face the minute I walked through the door," Shayla broke in. "Have you taken any pictures of the baby yet?"
Hughes' cheeks turned red. In his haste to get to the hospital, he'd totally forgotten a camera. How stupid could he get? "Well, I forget to bring one…" With a heavy sigh, Hughes cast a pitiful glance at them all. "I can't believe I forgot!"
"Well, no need to fear." Shayla whipped out a camera in her coat pocket. "Luckily, I had one in case of an emergency."
Almost crazed with need, Hughes practically pounced her for possession of the item. "Shayla, give it to me or I might have to hurt you!"
Even though Shayla wanted to tease Hughes more, her safety came first. She tossed the camera in the air and watched the man jump for it. "You're so weird, Hughes."
"You're not exactly sane yourself," Ed commented, earning a sour look from Shayla.
In a flash of light and clicks, Hughes entertained himself by catching his son at various angles, sometimes ordering the other occupants of the room to hold him and stand next to the crib. In a matter of minutes, the man used up the entire roll of film.
"Hey, you never told me what you're gonna name the little guy," Shayla said, and Ed nodded in agreement. "So what is it? Don't keep us in suspense."
Before Hughes could explain the situation about Gracia, Roy cut in and answered, "The name is Joshua, most likely Josh for short."
Ed nodded in approval. "Nice."
At the answer, Roy shot Hughes a sly glance. 'Don't worry about it,' it said. Hughes relaxed and grinned his friend.
"As much as I'd love to stay here, I want to check up on Gracia," Shayla stated, flicking her snow white head toward the door. "Let's give little Josh some rest from his crazy family." There was a mutter of agreement along with some snorts, the men filing out after the alchemist.
Hughes gave his son one last kiss before following the people out, his mind overflowing with joy and happiness. He had a new son; the people he cared about most were all here… For the first time, Hughes felt absolutely content with his life. He could even ignore that fact that Shayla's hair had turned white in front of his eyes. Not like it really mattered.
Roy's heart stopped as he stared at the smiling child, face so much like his own. 'Who is he? Who is he?' a tiny part of his brain screamed, not recognizing the face. The rest of him insisted he knew the boy; all he had to do was think of the name, but Roy struggled to remember it. It floated in his head and he reached for it, wanting to grasp it and understand what was happening. In fear and agony, he grabbed onto the concept of the rebellious voice. No, there was no child who looked like him, none that he knew of. He wasn't a daddy. 'I'm not daddy! How can I be daddy? He's not mine, it's a mistake, what the hell is going on here!' Terror seeped into his face, and the little boy saw it. With a frown the boy spoke.
"Wat's wrong, daddy? You looked scareded."
'No, I'm not daddy!' he screamed silently. 'I can't be daddy! I don't know who you are! This isn't right! This is a lie! You're lying!' His mind was at odds with one another; one side cheering him on, telling him he had the answer; the other raving on that he knew, just remember. He had to remember! This was his son
The boy whimpered at his father's odd silence. "Daddy, are you okay?"
'Stop calling me that!' His mind was in a frenzy, the words crawling up his throat only to die before being voiced. 'It's a lie, you're a lie! IT'S ALL A FUCKIN' LIE!'
No, it's not a lie! This is my son, how the hell could I forget his name? What's wrong with you, Roy? Damn you, REMEMBER IT!
"…Daddy?" Tears began to seep into the boy's eyes, sensing the trauma happening in his father. "You're scaring me."
Roy shook himself awake. "I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I'm sorry…" He tried to say the boy's name, but nothing came. 'What's going on? What's happening to me?'
The door to the bathroom open, revealing a clean and smiling Edward. "Caleb, don't touch your dad," he called out. "He's dirty and needs a bath."
Almost at once the defying voice was crushed and hidden away, the boy's name filling Roy's mind and soul. 'Of course… Caleb. I named him.' Yes, that was it. Caleb, his son, four years old, about to start pre-school in a few months. That Caleb. Relief rolled over him in tides, the feeling enough to make him pass out. It all made sense now. His name was Caleb.
The sight of Ed wiped away any tears in the boy's golden eyes. "Mommy!" The tiny body launched himself at the laughing man, holding his arms out. "Where were you?"
Ed picked the boy up and gave him a tight hug, mindful of his metal arm. "Mommy was taking a shower, Caleb. Daddy keeps making me dirty."
Roy propped himself up on his elbows and grinned at Ed. "It's not like you minded."
"Oh, hush," Ed snapped, not using any language for his son's sake. "You really need to go and get ready. We're a good hour late, all because you wanted to f--err, play," Ed finished, casting a glance at Caleb. He really hoped his son hadn't caught that slip up.
"What did you play, Mommy?" Caleb asked, his golden eyes looking up at Ed with curiosity. "Was it tag? I like tag!"
"No, Caleb," Ed replied, a tiny blush on his cheeks. "Daddy and I were playing a different game."
"Can I play with you next time?"
Roy rolled around in the bed, howling with laughter at his son's innocent question. Ed was sputtering and turning the darkest shade of pink his face would allow while Caleb stared up at him, waiting patiently for an answer. It seemed his parents did this a lot, and the boy had long ago learned that if he asked what was wrong, his mommy would look like a red tomato and his daddy would always keep laughing. So it was best to wait for them both to stop and answer his question.
When Ed got a hold on himself, he replied, "This is a game you don't want to play with your parents. Only adults play it…" Well, not only adults, but Caleb didn't need to know that yet.
"So when I get older, I can play it with you?" Ed sputtered again.
"Caleb, Mommy and Daddy were having sex," Roy said, jumping out of bed and heading toward the bathroom.
Ed's face went white. "ROY YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD!" he screamed, and Caleb laughed at his mother's expression.
"It's not like he knows what it means, Ed," Roy stated. Ed covered Caleb's eyes as he realized Roy was walking around naked.
"WOULD YOU STOP SCANDALIZING OUR ONLY SON!"
Roy turned all the way around, grinning like a demon. "What? He's got one, too."
"OH MY FUCKIN' GOD GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I KILL YOU, YOU SHITTY BASTARD!" He continued screaming at Mustang, even after the man left for the showers.
All the commotion had Caleb squealing in laughter and wiggling in Ed's arms. His parents were so funny sometimes, especially when his daddy made his mommy scream like that.
At the sound of Caleb's laughter, Ed smiled and looked down at him. He removed his hand covering the boy's eyes, watching them blink open as his son giggled with glee. "Caleb, make me a promise."
Golden eyes smiled up at him, and Ed wondered if he'd ever looked that innocent. "Okay!"
"Don't turn out like your daddy or me, okay?" 'Stay innocent for as long as you can.'
Caleb smiled and nodded, black curls of hair bouncing. "Okay, Mommy!" Ed smiled back, giving his son a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Good, now go find Amber and get some breakfast. I'll be down after I get some clothes on." As an afterthought, he said, "And if I hear you saying any of the naughty words, you're in trouble, mister." He placed the boy on the floor and watched him run off, a sense of pride overcoming him for a moment. 'Heh. A son. Who would have guessed I could settle down?' he mused silently. His mother would've been ecstatic.
By the time Ed was fully dressed in his black tank top, black pants, and red coat (even now, he couldn't pass up the chance to look like that black sheep of the military), Roy walked out, clean and smelling fresh. "That coat of yours…" Roy smiled, feeling reminiscent. "It's been through hell and back, hasn't it?"
"Yeah… good thing Winry taught me how to mend it or I would've had to throw it out a while back." Almost tenderly, Ed ran his hands over the material; his mind soaking in the memories the clothing gave him. "Not sure I'm happy or sad I never outgrew it…"
That produced a chuckle from Mustang. "I don't know… I'm so used to this height I probably wouldn't like it if you did start to grow." The statement wasn't meant to insult, and being together so long had softened Ed's tongue to such matters where his size was concerned. In fact, he only snorted and mock glared at Roy, a small smile threatening to make itsself known. "No raving about your lack of height? Wonders never cease."
"I can't help it that living with you and having your child made me soft!"
"No," Roy disagreed, "it didn't make you soft, merely… calmer."
"Calmer, eh?" If that's what Roy wanted to think. "Well, I can still kick your ass, calm or not."
Roy sauntered over to his lover, grinning down at the man. "Oh, I don't doubt that. You have more fire than I do sometimes."
Ed leaned forward so his head rested comfortably against Roy's chest. "True…" he purred. The sweet smell of a clean body filled his senses, and Ed nuzzled Roy like a kitten. "God, I don't wanna go to work."
The quick confession made Roy wrap his arms around Edward, humming in agreement. "Neither do I, but duty calls." He tilted Ed's head up with his right hand so he could steal a quick kiss. "Come on. We're so late we might as well have breakfast."
"Yeah, and I forgot we need someone to watch Caleb. Amber has the day off from babysitting."
"Doesn't Gracia usually keep an eye on him?"
Ed nodded, but added quickly, "She's going shopping today, and we always ask her to watch him. She has a life, too."
Early on, both Ed and Roy found that having a family and being respected authorities in the military took skill and patience. Normally it wasn't much of a problem, but it was times like this Roy wondered if retirement was the way to go. Less stressful, that's for sure.
"I suppose he'll be coming with us, then," Roy sighed. Not that Caleb would mind. The boy was very well behaved (Ed made sure of that) and loved seeing all his aunts and uncles.
This decision didn't settle over well with Edward. "No one's gonna get any work done now. Caleb's the best military distraction tactic Central has ever seen; even Hawkeye gives him candy!"
"There's no need to worry. If it gets really bad, I'll let him stay with Shayla in the medical wing. She'll keep an eye on him. Hell, she'll probably teach him various alchemic arrays for him to show us." Roy smirked to himself, the idea of his son being into alchemy not unpleasant. 'He's probably a prodigy in the field. Just look at who his parents are.'
Hands tightened into fists against Roy's chest, alerting the man of Ed's sudden discomfort. "Edward?" His eyes widened as he glanced down at his golden haired lover.
The man was shaking, his body almost convulsing from the intensity of whatever he was experiencing. A tiny sob escaped and a wetness hit Roy's bare skin. "Ed? Edward!" Mustang lowered Ed down to the ground in a rush, Ed's fear starting to bleed into him. "What happened? Are you sick?" Instead of an answer, Ed continued to shake, only now he pushed at Roy to get away. "Edward, talk to me!"
"You don't… how can you forget?" Ed stopped his struggling, swollen eyes glaring up at him. "How the fuck can you forget again!"
The first thing that came to mind was Caleb, and Roy panicked. 'How does he know I forgot? How could he possibly know that?' Had he been so obvious that Ed could sense his mistake? "Ed… I'm sorry, but I couldn't remember…" Roy started, hoping to ease Ed's worry. "It only happened this one time."
Any glare in Ed's eyes melted away into confusion, then dismay. "You have no clue what I'm talking about." It was a statement, not a question. "I really thought it was getting better…"
Black fear froze the blood in his veins. The mischievous voice, the one crushed and hidden by logic, came back with a vengeance and screamed like a harpy. 'Something is wrong, this is wrong, everything is wrong,' it hissed in his ear. 'Don't listen to the truth, because it's all a lie; the wolf covered in sheep's wool. Stop lying to yourself.'
"Ed… what did I forget?"
Ed watched the expressions flying across Roy's face, his devastation growing more profound. "Deception… he tortured us all, but we still managed to escape… Except…" Ed took a deep breath, and Roy didn't want to hear what came next.
"No, don't tell me," he ordered. He didn't want to know, didn't want to remember any of it.
'It's a lie. This is a lie. You're a lie, Roy.'
"Roy, you and Hughes found me in the realm. We never found Shayla."
Just as Riza stepped into her apartment, the phone started ringing. It took control not to roll her eyes. 'Barely in the door and someone won't let me relax…' She considered ignoring it for the time being, but decided it'd be best to get it over with so she wouldn't have to worry.
As soon as the phone was picked off its cradle, a loud, desperate voice filled the apartment.
"Hawkeye!" The woman held the phone back from her ear, wincing at the tone.
"Havoc, kindly lower you voice," she reproved. He sounded like he'd ran a marathon.
The man barely heard her with his heavy panting. "Hawkeye… Ed, he's… something's wrong!"
Hawkeye froze. "What? What's going on?" she demanded, her heart rate picking up.
"I don't know! He just started growing paler and paler, and his breathing's shallow. Get over here now!" With that, he hung up the phone.
That was the first time Hawkeye took a direct order from a subordinate.
Ed- (grins) That wasn't so bad, now was it?
Roy- And since the Plushie Bandit is sadly not able to join us right now, Edward and I will take on the task of answering reviews…. (smirks evilly)
Marii- Ed- (rolls eyes) Of course it's from the Matrix. The Bandit picks the worst movies to quote… the movie was so lame… Err… What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Yes it was confusing, that's nice, okay, thanks for the review, bye bye.
Hikari-Aoi- Roy- Sorry, her soul is far from immortal, but you're welcome to take it. In fact, I insist… and take her plushie collection. They keep coming up with plot bunnies not related to FMA.
Anonymous- Ed- "Good things come to those who wait."… I hate that quote. Waiting is overrated. As for school, the Bandit sleeps through most of it, so she has no good excuse….. Thanks for the review, I suppose.
Seeker Carter- Roy- Like the Bandit really cares if you review or not. She's got plenty of other people at her beck and call so don't bother. (is suddenly hit with a well aimed pot)
Skyla Moon- Ed- (looks at all the reviews) Like hell I'm answering all of those! I'll answer one… (scans through and blushes) You just had to comment on Roy sucking my neck, didn't ya? Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? I had a hickey! If he touches me again, I'll stick my metal foot up his ass, damn that bastard! (goes off on a tangent) Oh, and thanks for the shitload of reviews. (continues ranting)
((Oh, and I play clarinet!))
Arynna- Roy- Plot? There's a plot in this story? (looks around) Oh, I just wanted to get to the smut. (shrugs) And the Bandit doesn't need anymore sugar in her system. That's how she writes faster. Keep the cookies out of her reach.
Sori of Chrome Dragon- Ed- Damn. You actually enjoyed it. I'm gonna have to try harder to sabotage Bandit's stuff.
CuriousDreamWeaver- Roy- Actually, I thought it kept inching along until you wanted to set the whole thing on fire… Well, those were my thoughts. (shrugs) Yeah, review again if you feel it necessary.
Kari- Ed- Join the club. Bandit tells us nothing. It's a miracle that we got to read the lemon.
Uniasus- Roy- No. Ed isn't stronger because of his failed human transmutation. All the trauma from life makes his mind stronger, and his abilities just add to that power. As for Al and Izumi, have you seen them mentioned in this story more than once? No? Well, there's your answer. And who said these are false memories? (snickers) Well, I hope that answered all of your questions… And I'm not cute, I'm sexy. Don't forget it.
alchemistgrl09- Ed- You shouldn't fall in love with a story. It's not very healthy… Oh well, Bandit likes it when people become her slaves, so it's all good. Review more and become our minion!
MoonLightFight98- Roy- (is disgusted) I assure you, the Bandit is not sadist enough to pair me with the Dream Alchemist. That's wrong in so many ways. Besides, Edward would kill her. (sniffs) Perish the thought. I sleep with only beautiful women or short, hotheaded alchemists with metal limbs.
Jen- Ed- Yeah, the Bandit would be hunted down for killing Shayla and Hughes. Oh wait, she's already killed Shayla, like twice. The readers wouldn't be too surprised. (thinks) But Roy would fry her for killing Hughes, so be rest assured. The man will live to the end of the fic.
Akumako- Roy- No, waiting is a good thing. You should wait forever… Don't worry, Bandit will always keep you waiting, because she's good at that. Like puppies, you shall wait patiently. So keep waiting, since this is what you're good at. Oh, and this chapter better be worth your wait. It is the lemon, after all.
AngylLayDying- Ed- Bandit's not creative. She gets all her ideas from her muses and her plushies. She's nothing more that a vessel that can type pretty fast. So please give me all the credit, 'cause we all know I'm the mastermind behind everything.
ZOMFG EDWARD- Roy- I would tell you, but after you read this chapter it might not be necessary. So I will leave you floating in the dark. As for Shayla… We can't please everyone. She just doesn't want to stay alive.
Alchemist X- Ed- Ha! That dirty Dream Alchemist wouldn't get me… (shifty eyes) School? Bah, who needs it? Bandit worries about that too much. I don't know why. I never went to school, and look how I turned out. I'm the number one alchemist who ever lived. (growls) I'm so under appreciated.
HeavenlyAnimeAngel-Amaterasu- Roy- (snorts) If you knew Bandit's betas, the last thing you would say is 'Job well done'. And as much as I would love to tell you the plot (insert sarcasm here), I can't, for Bandit would somehow kill me in the story and make sure I didn't come back.
Shingo-sama- Ed- Yeah, the Bandit picks horrible movie quotes. And we don't appreciate lazy people. Shoo. Get lost. Oh, and thanks for the review.
AlibisDragon- Roy- (sneers) Oh, it's you. Bandit told me specifically to be nice to you, but when have I ever listened to her? I do not need to confess anything to Edward, thank you very much. He likes waiting on me… (shifty eyes) And stop having Bandit read your stories. Do you know what that does to her writing abilities? It keeps her on OP mode, and I don't appreciate it. Oh, and hurry up and write a FMA story. I'm tired of being Bandit's slave. I'd rather be your muse. (is hit by the elusive pot) OUCH, DAMNIT!
Asaka- Ed- (rolls eyes) Like I don't see enough of you on MSN. And you only turned two shades of red. I remember Sanji losing that bet.
Sanji- Stop reminding me!
Leon- Heh. (pockets money)
Ed- (grabs cookies) Trust me, she doesn't need these. (eats one and spits it out) Wow, your cooking abilities rival Bandit's. I saw my life flash before my eyes. (thinks) On second thought, maybe Bandit does need to eat these…
Torii- Roy- And the reward for Most Simplistic Review goes to Torii. Your prize? Bragging rights. Ed and I love short reviews. So review again, and make it short.
A- Ed- (stares at name) A? What type of name is that? And of course it's confusing. The whole story is confusing. Bandit's actually good at something. Show your support and give her a cookie… wait, scratch that. Give me a cookie. Review again, or I shall hunt you down.
Soon to be world renown Gracie- Roy- Yes, it is the movie Matrix. How ever did you know? It was only a hair short of obvious. And you only like this story because you had a chapter dedicated to you. I know your game… Yeah, review and all that. But if you don't, I'll tell Bandit that you hate her. And then I'll fry you. For no good reason. So I suggest you review.
Ed- (is exhausted) How the hell does she answer all those reviews like that? Last time I'm doing this!
Roy- Don't count on it. We'll have to do this again when Bandit writes the next le-- (is suddenly gunned down)
Ed- Ummm… yeah, review. And if you flame Bandit for the lemon, I will cut you to pieces. And Roy will BBQ you, if he ever gets up. She worked her ass off for you people, so appreciate it, love it, worship it, and review it. (runs off)