"No, let go!" Cameron tried to tried to pull away. Chase had found her, and now he was trying to take her out of that room. She knew that it wasn't good for her to see the operating room, to hear the constant beeping of monitors as doctors hovered over Wilson's body. She had stood above this window what seemed like hundreds of times and watched countless patients have life saving operations but this time was very different. She felt drawn to the window somehow and didn't know why she didn't want to leave the room. She just needed to stay, like she had needed to stay in Brian's room for those agonizingly long hours during which his body slowly shut down. That same feeling filled her mind right now but she knew that nobody would ever understand what that felt like unless they had lived through such an experience.
"Cameron, it's ok, it's just me. It's Chase- it's Robert, Allison." He was trying to soothe her and her mind said to go with him but part of her remained attracted to the room. Distraught, she pulled away in an attempt to release his grip. Surprised at her resistance, he held on a little tighter.
"No! Let go! You don't understand!" He wasn't letting go of her, she knew he wouldn't, but for some reason she still felt the urge to fight.
"Allison, it's ok!" She could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to break through to her. Turning around, she beat her fists against his chest and she struggled. Unfazed, he continued to talk to her.
"Allison, listen to me. Shhh… don't fight, you're fine. I won't make you leave here, I know what it feels like…"
Hot angry tears splashed down her face as she fought his grip. Vaguely aware of what he had just said she began to break down.
"They tried to make me leave my house after my Mom died. I didn't want to…" He had caught her attention now and her attempts to flee were diminishing. Chase continued to speak to her softly. "I remember the way I fought to stay, there was just something about being there…" he trailed off briefly and then continued. "I won't make you feel that way, I wont make you leave…" She knew that this was something that he never had told a soul before, she could tell and her tears were no longer out of frustration, but of raw emotional pain.
"I never got over him, I just said I did but I really didn't…" She was sobbing now, her energy draining slowly, her protests dying down. "I think I still love him. What am I going to do? I already lost Brian…What am I going to do…" she stopped the struggle all together and broke down. All of her energy was gone, zapped of all feeling, she felt her knees tremble as she fell forward onto Chase's soft cotton shirt…
He let her fall against his chest after she stopped struggling. Letting go of her arms, he slid his left arm around her waist to support her small frame. Her hands had fallen against his shoulders as they went limp and her fingers curled around the collar of his lab coat. It was as if she didn't want to be alone, like she needed him at the moment so Chase didn't protest. Instead, he raised his right hand and hesitated before setting it awkwardly on Cameron's head. With slow, deliberate strokes, he pulled her hair out of her face and gently tucked it behind her ears while murmuring small words of comfort. After a few minutes, he could hear her cries quieting down as he continued to methodically stroke her hair and tell her that everything was ok. Her face remained buried in the front of his coat and he could feel the tears that spilled from her eyes seeping into his shirt. Tilting his head down, he whispered to her…
"Allison, do you think we can leave now? I know that your hurting but this is not where you need to be right now. Come with me, everything will be fine, I promise…"
She nodded slightly and he placed his free hand over her shoulders, shifting his left over so that she could stand beside him. Slowly, they made their way towards the elevator, Chase leading Cameron who continued to cry silently. The elevator ride was long and silent, as was the trek down the hallway. He could hear rain pouring down upon the roof. It sounded like the heavens had opened up and the world was crying. Shuddering, he shook off the eerie feeling that came with the memories of his mother's death. The rain had come down hard and fast that night also. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind as they reached the oncology lounge. Chase let Cameron and himself in and made their way towards the couch where several oncologists sat mournfully in silence. The barely looked up at the two doctors who made their way towards the couch in the corner.
"I hope you don't mind," Chase said to the group.
"It's fine." The words came out semi-choked as the oncologist locked eyes with Cameron who began to tear again. "I know what everyone's going through." His buddies shifted uncomfortably at the words and nodded.
"Do you have a phone I can use?" Chase inquired solemnly. They nodded and pointed across the room. "Thanks…" Chase put his hand on Cameron's shoulder as she sat and looked her in the eyes before he heading to the phone. "I'm just going to call Lisa, will you be ok?" She nodded feebly and he gave her a small, sad, yet reassuring smile. Sighing, he shakily dialed the number and waited for a reply…