Chapter Six
Dedicated to all the women who have helped, appraised and praised me over the year it has taken to write this story. Thank you to my Mum who always encouraged, to Kate and the Nag Queen aka, Steph for being my companions on this journey. To Wolfy! Girl, thanks for all your conversations.
A/N. This is the first finished story in a possible trilogy of stories. Thank you for experiencing my journey.
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The room was silent; six pairs of eyes stared at her intently. Sam took a deep breath.
"I'm not sure." She uttered into the vacuum of the room.
Jack's jaw dropped. "Not sure! Several years back you said never again, now you change your mind? Is anyone sensing mind control? Does anyone remember what the last Tok'Ra did to me? Are you alright, wait, of course you aren't..." General Hammonds are slammed into Jack's chest holding him back as he strode towards Sam with utter disbelief on his face.
"Things, and people change, Sir." Sam said quietly. She felt the room closing in
around her. "I am just really unsure. I need time to think."
Selmac came forward. "Of course. Take some time, but time is of the essence." Selmac intimated.
"Excuse me sir, I think I need to think about this off base can I talk to you privately?" She said rising from her chair and turning to the man she had spent many years of her life respecting.
"Of course Major Carter, please wait in my office," He turned to face the two Tok'Ra, I am sure you are aware of the drill around here, the med team would like to see you. The rest of you are dismissed." He noted that Martouf hadn't come down to the control room and had thought it a prudent thought. Moving to his office he saw the remaining group of people disperse.
"Samantha," He said as he walked into his office. "What can I do to help you?"
"Sir, I need to take a few days out from active duty to consider my fathers proposition. I would also like to take Martouf with me. His accumulative years and experience may help me make a balanced decision."
General Hammond looked at Samantha with a fatherly compassion. "Are you sure he won't try to change you mind?"
I am certain that he won't. Her will help, and probably guide. But he only wants what is for my benefit."
"I can't think of any reason why not. I will have to communicate with the president regarding the whole situation, but I will call Martouf an impartial advisor." General Hammond looked up at the woman in front of him, a woman he had known for a long time and wondered what her decision would be.
"Thank you sir." She said quietly and waited to be dismissed.
"Go on, Sam, get ready." Hammond said smiling.
The drive home was quiet; Martouf sat in the passenger side of the car and watched silently as things he had never seen passed them, but knowing that Samantha had other things on her mind kept his and Lantash's questions to himself.
Samantha on the other hand sat drumming her thumbs on the wheel of the car, wishing Martouf would ask an easy question, something she could answer with a definite answer.
"You are quiet, my love." Martouf stated. Sam continued staring out of the windshield.
"He had to ask the one thing I thought I was so certain on, at the one point in time that… well I am not certain on very much." Sam said.
"Are you certain on us?" Martouf asked quietly. Sam looked at him a brief moment.
"I am, I just don't know what future we have."
"What ever you desire, Samantha, I go where you go, my place is at your side we have spent far too much time apart, now is the time we make up for that." Sam clicked the indicator to go right and into her apartment complex's car park.
"Do you wish to go back to the Tok'Ra?" She asked in a quiet tone as she finished parking the car.
"I am where you are my love, my place now is by your side." Martouf said.
Samantha got out of her side of the car and walked around to the other side of the blue Taurus and popped the car handle of Martouf's door.
"I could have done that." Martouf said smiling. Sam smiled back, though no mirth showed. They walked to the door of her apartment in quiet companionship. And quietly she let them in.
She moved to the kitchen and began making herself some chamomile tea. Martouf went through to the living room and sat on the couch making himself comfortable. A few minutes later Sam came in and handed Martouf a cup of the infusion. Martouf smelt it and wrinkled his nose, before sipping the drink.
"Samantha, is this a poison of some form? It's vile." Martouf spluttered as he put the offending infusion on the glass coffee table in front of them.
"No, but I guess it is an acquired taste." She put her half empty cup on the table and turned to face him. He looked at her, eyes shinning with the love he held for her and brought her into the safety of his arms.
"You look so tired my love."
"I am. I am always the tough and ready soldier that I forget how tiring it can become. I haven't had leave for so long. " She inhaled his scent and suddenly felt relaxed and at home. They stayed that way for hours, her with her thoughts running wild and he gently watching over her, dreaming of a life that held her as his mate. It wasn't until much later he realized she had fallen asleep in his arms.
The following morning she rose from the couch where she and the man she thought of as more than a lover had fallen asleep. She began looking at what work she had been working on and realized that whilst she loved this work, it wasn't the be all and end all of her life, that the man o her couch held an import to her life that was significant, could she, would she even, let go of him, for her career?
She began slowly looking at her life, at the pictures in photo albums, she found that after her fourth year at the SGC she had no longer had pictures taken, no longer were there girls nights out other than with Janet, and now, even she was gone. She became absorbed in the thoughts of her life, everyone she knew died or ascended. Did she want to try something new? Something perhaps a little different.?
"Happy times?" Martouf's voice came from behind her, so wrapped up in her memories and musings was she; that she had been oblivious to Martouf's awakening and moving to her.
"Yes, and friends now no longer with us." Sam said sadly.
Martouf reached out to her and turned her face to him as he knelt beside her, she looked at him and as tears fell from her eyes, he kissed her a kiss that at first was gentle and then as ferocious as a firestorm. Sinking to her knees she wrapped her arms around him and melded her body to his as fingers traced their way over each others backs. Rising Samantha pulled him across the apartment to her room.
Rumpled sheets and moans filled the room and the littered the bed, souls merged and tethered themselves to each other pain that had filled each of their souls was released and joy replaced it.
Lying in bed with the silence prevailing, a decision was made, a momentum was started, and relief was initiated. Lying in the sunny bedroom Samantha's heart was totally given, she would follow her mate to the ends of the galaxy and beyond. She would learn more about him, and she couldn't do it where she was.
Later that day she was making dinner whilst Martouf watched television and discovering more about Earth in the process. Samantha had decided to give Martouf the meal of his life and explain the decision she had made in bed earlier that evening. When finally the meal was made, a Chinese meal of stir fry sweet and sour chicken, sitting down to it they started off with inconsequential chit chat about Earth, about its diversity, and how the planet had recovered so well from the Goa'uld occupation six thousand years ago, that apparently some cultures hadn't recovered near as well.
It was after this discussion that Samantha told Martouf of her decision.
"Are you sure this what you want to do? You aren't doing it for anyone but yourself? "
"I am certain. The work I do can be done anywhere. I can be more than the soldier I am. I can put down real roots and still have elements of the life I have now. There is nothing left at the SGC now, all the friends I made have gone, my team is all that's left, and I will see them still in this capacity, there really isn't much for me now, just you. Will you come with me?" She watched Martouf as she animatedly told him of her plans.
"I am where you are my love, my place now is by your side." Martouf stated reaching for her hand. "Where ever you are, my love, is where I am." Sam smiled.
That night gentle lovemaking tied the tethers of love and emotion tighter, until love exploded stars into the night, and souls became one. They laid in each others arms for hours, not noticing their arms going numb. Togetherness provided the warmth instead of the sheet that lay in tangles at the foot of their bed.
"I am scheduled for a mission tomorrow, just back to the planet we found out you were still 'alive' on." Sam said finally looking Martouf in his eyes. He leant up slightly and brushed her lips.
"Then we are going to the base once more?" Martouf ran his hands along her warm body from hip to shoulder stopping and caressing it, before running to her chin and curling his hand into a fist and gently rubbing it on her jaw bone.
Sam moved into Martouf's body and lay head on his upper arm and traced patterns on his upper body.
"I will miss you whilst I am gone." It was spoken into the silence between them.
"As will I my love." Martouf replied gently before kissing her soundly and wrapping his arms around her as she slowly fell asleep.
Morning came too soon and soon the bed they had occupied every night Samantha had been off duty. The rooms became devoid of life when they left Even the echo's of their love followed them.
The trip back to the base was quiet and Martouf was tense. Sitting in the car, he carried himself a little to stiff, and his breath was a little to held back. Concern for the woman he considered now almost a mate ran through him. He had always been that way, even when his little sister, many years ago had gone to sleepover with a friend.
Sam kept a watchful eye on him, but her experiences with Jolinar had taught her that this man's behavior was normal and a part of him, whether he liked it or not. He was simply just that caring that he worried.
They arrived at the Base earlier than expected and Sat in the bases briefing room. They looked at each other, and at that point Martouf knew it was decided. She was going to follow through with her plan; it was she that was inviting him along.
Looking at her watch she smiled at him, "Time for me to get dressed for the mission." She stood and smiled again. "I will be back." And with that she turned and walked to the stairs turning her head as she walked down them she smiled again, knowing that whilst her body was once more going through the gate, her heart was safe guarded on Earth.
PX9 697, the plane SG-1 had been on when they had found out that Martouf had ascended and not died. She had been lighting a candle in his memory that day, she remembered. She looked at the small chapel she had been in.
"Come on, Carter, times a wasting!" O'Neill's voice called out and she fell in line with her colleagues, friends and to some degree family. She was going to miss them terribly.
The Town's people of Emedra were joyous see SG-1 once more, they knew that the negotiations with Earth had borne some fruit and they were there to tell them of the benefits they were supposed to reap, once it was all agreed the townsfolk threw a party to end all parties. Jack was certainly in a mood to join in and urged the others to do so also. Sam however kept her own counsel. Quietly she moved off to one side and as soon as everyone was distracted with the merry making slipped off to the small chapel.
Kneeling she took a taper and lit it, slowly she moved it to three candles, lighting each in turn, softly muttering prayers for the safe keeping of each of her comrades.
"What is it with you, Churches and Candles, Carter?" Jack Joke, smile in his voice drink in hand, but Sam did not know this, she had not turned at Jack's voice, but closed her yes briefly.
Opening them she said; "I am leaving Jack." Silence filled the room for long moments.
"Are you sure? I mean they are Tok'Ra!" Jack said quietly.
"Yes." Sam gently replied turning to face her soon to be former CO.
"Hey Jack, Sam there is one hell of a party out there… What are we doing in here again. Why are there three candles lit?" Daniel enquired as Teal'c ever stoically followed.
"Sam's leaving us." Jack Said flatly.
"Oh." Daniel said quietly shocked.
Sam got up, and quietly moved past all of them and walked to wards the exit of the chapel. Once in the arch of the door she turned. "
I need to do this, maybe we can bring about a more stable peace through understanding. There are a lot of reasons to do this and too few against it, I can still carry on with my science work here, I am contactable in case of emergency, and maybe collaborating with the Tok'Ra will produce good results." Sam said looking at them each in turn, Teal'c had only raised a stoic eyebrow. She turned once more and walked out of the chapel.
"Why did she light candle's O'Neill?" Teal'c said finally breaking the silence.
"She was offering prayers of safe keeping for us." Daniel interjected, as he too walked out of the chapel. Teal'c followed somewhat like an overgrown puppy.
Jack turned to the candles, and knelt himself, picking up the used taper of Carters he lit it from the flames of one of the candles Carter had lit and lit two, one for his son, it was his birthday, or what should have been and one for Carter herself. He couldn't understand wanting to live with the Tok'Ra, but she had decided it, perhaps it was something to do with her father, perhaps it was her own damnable curiosity or perhaps it was Marty. But one way or another, he had lost her again. He'd lost her the day of Marty's original death, and now he had lost her because he was alive. Staring at his candles flame, he wondered how many more would leave him.