Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. Nor am I making any money from this story
Unsaid
It wasn't like I asked for it to happen you know. I don't usually go around falling in love like some random eighteenth century Gothic heroine. Now I bet you're astounded that I knew the era that Gothic fiction was popular in, but I had an odd adolescence.
Yes, I was the girl that wanted some brooding Heathcliff to sweep me off my Doc. Martins and make me his Cathy. Though at the moment I feel like Heathcliff and you're my Cathy (I guess that's odd. Me being the woman), you remind me a lot of her, especially in your arguments. You both find faults in having relationships, faults which nobody else can see.
Though you know, when I was younger I was quite taken with Mr Wickam. Now that's not some mistake by me, I do mean Wickam, not Darcy. You see I thought I was a silly, nonsensical girl, similar to Lydia. Now I never giggled uncontrollably, or flirted with any member of the military. But I was silly in a different way, I am moderately clumsy, I always looked (up in till recently) like I fell asleep in a nursery and swarm of three year olds have attacked my hair with paint. Also I have been known to on occasion have been known to say things that can be seen as rather silly. Though that's not the point, Mr. Wickam always seemed the type of man I'd get taken in by. Though at the moment I see myself quite enamoured with a type of man who reminds me too much of the proud Mr. Darcy.
Maybe that's part of the reason you can't bring yourself to be in a relationship with me. The fact that I seem to have the inability to grow up, but I really don't. I act young; because I have so much responsibility I don't know what else to do but to put a happy face on it. I know you blame yourself for the disappearance of my abilities to morph, but it's not really you, it is just stress. You know it's happened before, but I'm not too worried about it, it always comes back in the end, especially when I remember to smile. Though not that we've had a lot to smile about lately.
I know I'm never going to say any of this to you; I'm never this articulate when you're around, mainly just frustrated that you won't listen to me. When I try to write to you, I get embarrassed and feel that if you ever read it I would be too embarrassed to be around you. But at four o' clock on a January morning writing this down on a piece of paper that is simply meant for me, makes me feel better. It's my way of dealing with things. Though in dealing with things I in no way mean I am giving up, I am a determined woman Lupin, you're stuck with it. Because whether or not you admit it, I know you like me, and I'm holding onto that, because one day I hope it will give me something to smile about.
Please review, it makes me belive in all that is pure and good.
- Solitary Witch