Chapter 9: Patching The Hole

Author's Note: Holidays are finally here. Hope you guys are enjoying yourselves. Well…it is not long now until this beautiful story comes to an end. I have set myself the goal of getting it down before the end of this year. Hopefully I can do this, seeing as I will have not much else to occupy my mind. Wish me luck and I hope you enjoy. :P

It was Christmas Day and Harry had been up all night thinking about Draco. He had been trying to figure out why he'd been so stupid. He didn't feel anything for Seamus. When he looked back on the kiss, it didn't stir any emotion in him, there was nothing there. So why had he done it? What had caused him to ruin everything he had with Draco?

It was 6:00am when Harry finally thought he knew the answer. He looked to the window to find Hedwig with her beak in the bowl of water he had put out for her. He knew she would need it after the long flights the Granger's, the Burrow and surprisingly Privit Drive to fetch him his Christmas gifts. She had dropped the oddly shaped parcels at the base of his bed but Harry was not interested in them at the moment.

Seeing Hedwig had sparked an idea in his head, he had to talk to Seamus about this issue whether he liked it or not. If he was ever going to get back with Draco that was what he needed to do. Harry knew he would have to act soon because it had been over a month since he had spoken to Draco. The seperation was hurting him enough as it was and he didn't want to think about what it was doing to Draco.

Harry got up, grabbed some parchment, quill and ink, and walked over to Hedwig. He sat next to her and began to write.

Seamus,

You'll have probably heard about what Draco told me when we broke up. I'm sorry I have been avoiding you this past month but it was probably better that I did. I've been trying to figure out what cause me act as I did and I think I may have figured out a logical explanation. If you would meet me in the Astronomy Tower at 9 o'clock we can talk about it then.

Harry

"Sorry girl,"

Harry apologised as sent Hedwig on her way, "I really need this letter sent." Slumping back on his bed, he thought he might stay there for the rest of the day when Hedwig flew back through the window. That was fast Harry thought to himself. He untied the parchment from Hedwig's leg and read.

I'm in the common room you know, you could have come down and told me, there's no one here you know. Anyway, just to suit you I will meet you at 9 o'clock.

Seamus had written it on the back of Harry's note. Harry chucked the parchment page in his trunk, happy with the reply, and then picked up one of the parcels Hedwig had brought him.

It was rather heavy, a neat square box wrapped in red and gold paper and tied with a lovely silver ribbon. He carefully unwrapped it to find a set of books about Quidditch and a few of his other interests from Hermione.

The next parcel was clearly from the Weasleys, the wrapping crinkled but cheerily coloured. He opened it to find the usual knitted jumper from Mrs. Weasley (red and green this year), a few homemade Christmas goodies and a selection of oddments from the twin's joke shop.

(AN: I said back in chapter 5 that I was going to write this as if HBP hadn't happened…you probably don't remember but yeah… I changed my mind…the only parts that didn't happen is Dumbledore's death and the Horcuxes stuff…back to the story)

The last one he picked up was from the Dursleys. It was quite small and Harry would not have been surprised if it was one of Dudley's old and broken toys. It was wrapped roughly in plain brown butchers paper (BN: the stuff they wrap your meat in, its huge and good for drawing on) with a few pieces of sticky tape holding it in place. Harry undid the tape and pulled away the paper. To his surprise he found a small book and a note. It was from Aunt Petunia.

Dear Harry,

Your mother, Lily, sent this to me a week before you went into hiding. Until now it had been kept where no one could see it. When your owl came I knew that it wanted me to give it this for your Christmas present. I think it is time that you saw the album your mother made for you… as she said, just in case. Merry Christmas, Harry.

Aunt Petunia.

Harry put the note aside with the paper and grabbed the album. He stroked the cover tenderly not knowing whether to open it or not. Could he handle the emotion that it would bring to him? Why had Aunt Petunia kept it from him for so long? He opened its cover and read the first page. The words 'Our Son, Harry James Potter' written in his mothers neat handwriting stared back at him.

A tear fell onto the page and the rest of Harry's tears quickly blurred his vision. He closed the album, not wanting to spoil the rest of the paper, and held the small book firm against his chest. Tears streamed down his face in torrents falling into his lap as his sadness for the loss of his parents took him over. Harry closed his eyes and lay down on his bed, still holding the album to his chest, his silence only broken by an occasional sob.

A few minutes later the door to the boys dorm creaked open. Harry lifted his head from the tear soaked pillow to see his red-haired friend enter with his boyfriend. Harry placed the album under his pillow and wiped the tears from his eyes as Ron and Blaise walked over to him, looking to be in high spirits.

"Hiya Harry" grinned Ron happily. Then he saw Harry's face and his grin became a worried look. "Is everything alright mate?" he moved to kneel beside Harry's bed. Blaise stayed by the door giving the two best friends some space and looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, it's nothing" Harry replied gesturing for his friend to forget about it. But Ron wasn't going to let this go that easily. He knew there was something up with Harry.

"Is it Draco?"

He had to mention him didn't he Harry thought as the tears filled his eyes again. "Nnn…oo" he choked out while forcing the tears back and whipping his eyes again.

"It is, isn't it? Don't worry, we'll go smash him shall we Blaise?" Ron turned his head to his partner waiting for a reply.

"Ron, I don't think that's what Harry meant"

"What do you mean? Of course that's what he meant, isn't it Harry?" Ron turned back to see Harry shaking his head. He cleared his throat and answered.

"No, it's not what I meant. I meant that Draco wasn't the reason I was crying."

"Oh…" responded Ron, "Right", slightly miffed that he wouldn't get to bash up Draco.

"Anyway, never mind that now. What did you want?" Harry said trying to get the focus off his emotional state.

"Oh, we just came to say Merry Christmas and ask if you wanted to come down to the common room and open the rest of your presents" Blaise calmly stated.

"Sounds great," voiced Harry jumping up off his bed, turning Ron around and nudging him out of the room with Blaise in front, leading them down the stairs.

They passed Seamus in the common room without saying a word and headed straight for the Christmas tree, which had all the presents piled chaotically under it.

"We thought it would be rude to open our presents without you here" said Blaise as if to explain why there were still so many presents under the tree.

"Awww…you didn't have to do that. I wouldn't have minded if you had. Its Christmas after all" replied Harry.

"Okay, can we stop with the talk and just get to the present opening already?" asked Ron impatiently.

"He has been like that the whole morning," Blaise whispered in Harry's ear so Ron couldn't hear. They both shared a smiling snicker while Ron grabbed a few gifts from under the tree. Blaise moved away from Harry just as Ron he turned around and straightened, presents for each of the three in his arms.

"Okay…what are you two up to?" Ron asked while narrowing his eyes

"Nothing" Blaise and Harry chorused innocently.

Ron gave each of them a fierce look and then let it go. He read the labels on the present and handed the green and silver one to Harry and red and gold one to Blaise. After taking a look at the tags to make sure Ron had given them the correct gifts they both ripped of the paper to reveal what was inside.

Harry found a long rectangular box with the words 'Young Wizards Trivia' written in bronze across the lid.

"It's was Hermione's idea. Thought we could have some fun while learning and studying for our N.E.W.T.s." Ron explained.

"Right," nodded Harry uncertainly, setting the present to the side.

Blaise had to play pass the parcel with his (under the wrapping paper was tissue paper then under that was a thick layer of bubble wrap) to finally reveal a silver charm bracelet.

Thank-yous were exchanged and then it was Harry's turn to give Ron and Blaise their gifts. Blaise had already given Ron his present and intended to give Draco his gift later that day. Harry had brought a gift for Draco ages ago and it was still buried somewhere in his trunk. The silver box it lay in was at the back of Harry's mind but he didn't dare to thin about it, not just yet anyway.

Seamus had been watching their little gift exchange but didn't want to interfere with their fun, so he stayed silent and unnoticed while the others played happily with Harry's new board game, noticeably only using the quiddich and music questions.

---

At Christmas dinner that night everyone was seated around a large circular table in the middle of the great hall. There were about 15 students along with the teachers. Draco was sitting across the table from Harry who had Ron and Blaise either side of him. Draco was sitting next to Dumbledore and Casey. Dumbledore seemed to be talking but Draco wasn't listening. He was too busy watching Harry laugh at Blaise's stories about the years before they had become friends.

Draco hardly touched his food and excused himself from the table early. Dumbledore tried to convince him to stay for dessert but Draco wouldn't have anything of it. Watching Harry smiling without him being the one to put it there was heart breaking.

Doesn't Harry want to be with me anymore? After all the fun we had. After all the stereotypes and bad experiences we had in our first six years at school were put behind us, he is just going to throw it all away. For what? He can't feel anything for Seamus…can he? Draco thoughts kept running through his head as he made his way back up to his room.

He slumped on the couch and pulled out his wand, I think a situation like this calls for comfort food, "Accio milk and cookies," he said glumly. The treats came rushing from the kitchenette, Draco catching the glass of milk in one hand and the packet of choc chip cookies in the other. He opened the packet, dipped the first cookie in the milk then crunched into it, all the while wondering why Harry had been taking so long to come back to him.

---

After dessert Harry turned to Blaise and asked, "When did he leave?" gesturing towards the seat Draco had occupied. To far engrossed in trying to act like nothing was wrong, he hadn't noticed Draco get up from the table.

"Well, he wasn't here when dessert was served obviously," replied Blaise, eyeing the Christmas pudding that was untouched at Draco's place.

"Don't worry about it," added Ron. But that was it, Harry was worried. Maybe he just wasn't hungry he half-heartedly reassured himself. Harry looked at his watch. It read 8:30. Harry stared at it; trying to think of other plausible reasons why Draco had left the table early.

"Are you going to come back up to the common room with us Harry?" Ron asked pulling him out of his daze.

"Umm…what…nah, sorry." Harry muttered. "I can't, I have to do something else. I'll see you guys later." He stood up and pushed in his chair.

"Where are you going?" Ron called after him, but Harry's back was turned and he was already half way across the hall. Ron turned back to face Blaise. "Wonder what that's about"

"Who knows" shrugged Blaise. Then they saw Seamus get up from the table and walk out as Harry had. Blaise and Ron looked at each other. "It couldn't be…could it?" asked Blaise in shock.

"I don't know, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions" replied an equally shocked Ron. They both got up from the table at the same time and headed for the Gryffindor common room.

---

Harry was already up in the tower when Seamus arrived. He was sitting on the wide window ledge looking out at the beautiful starry night. Seamus walked over and climbed up onto the ledge, sitting across from Harry looking down at the snowy white ground.

"So why did you bring me up here?" said Seamus assuming the worst. That Harry had asked him up here so that he could continue what he had done a month before.

"What do you think I brought you up here for?" Harry asked sarcastically thinking it was obvious after the note. Not giving Seamus time to answer he continued on "To sort out this business about kissing you a month ago of course" Harry had turned his body to face Seamus, giving the Irish boy the wrong impression.

"Umm…Harry, I'm not like that"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked confused by Seamus' statement.

"I mean… I don't want to experience another guy kissing me again"

"Oh my God! Do you really think I would do that again?" Harry shouted

"There's no need to shout," argued Seamus raising his own voice.

"There is if you're going to be a total airhead!"

"No, there isn't! And I'm not an airhead!" retorted Seamus.

"Yeah! Sure you're not, and Pansy doesn't use peroxide." Harry stated sarcastically without his raised voiced. "Anyway, I came here to tell you why I think I kissed you and that it will never happen again," his voice seemed calm.

"Yeah right! I don't believe you" Seamus' voice was still raised.

"Will you stop with the shouting and let me explain?" asked Harry as nicely as he could manage, his temper nearly getting the better of him.

"Okay, but you better have a good explanation," Seamus conceded, his voice now back to normal.

"It is the only answer I can think of that makes sense, so I just hope it lives up to your standards" Harry retorted. He then took a deep breathe and began explaining.

"Before I kissed you, the argument we were having was very emotional. I saw that my friendship meant a lot to you. And you know how I don't handle emotional situations well. Hermione says my emotional growth was stunted by sensory deprivation in childhood, whatever that means. Anyway I couldn't handle the feelings that were building up inside me. I think that because the topic we were arguing about was Draco I must have had a mental dysfunction or something. My brain must have thought it was Draco I was talking to and not you, Seamus, and then it instructed me to do what I would have done if it were Draco that I wanted to stop fighting with." Harry finished and waited for Seamus to respond.

"Right…" was all Seamus said. He was still trying to get his head around the long and complicated reason behind Harry's actions over a month ago.

"Seems like a good explanation to me" came a voice from behind the two Gryffindors. They turned around to see Dean standing in doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Seamus exclaimed, surprised at his friends sudden appearance. "Didn't you go to see your parents back home?"

"Yeah, but there was a change of plans and my dad brought me back here after having a lovely Christmas dinner at home" Dean explained in a calm voice not seeing why his friends were so surprised at his appearance. "Anyway, to answer your first question, I heard you two shouting from outside the castle and decided to come up and see what all the racket was about"

"Well, now that you know, would you mind leaving?" asked Harry wanting to continue talking to Seamus in private.

"Yes Harry, I would mind," replied Dean walking over to the two boys standing by the window.

"Dean, I think you should go," suggested Seamus.

"No, I think I should stay," Dean said firmly, "Mum's a psychologist, I recon I can help" .

"Fine, if you are going to be like that," Harry turned back to talk to Seamus. "So, are you okay with my explanation?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Seamus answered. "As long as it never happens again."

"Of course it will never happen again," interrupted Dean, "it's a solid explanation, even from a psychology point of view and…" he trailed off as Harry looked at him annoyed.

"Look Harry, I have nothing against you being gay now. I learned a few things while at home and yeah. Well, lets just say I don't mind being around you guys as much" Harry looked at him funny. Is he saying what I think he is saying?

"And no Harry, I'm not gay. But I found out someone close to me is. Anyway, I know it will never happen again because even I can just see how much you like Draco every time you talk about him." Harry blushed and Dean continued, talking to Seamus now. "And you…well it is rather obvious you like Ginny and she obviously feels something for you so why don't you just make your move before someone else snaps her up."

It was Seamus' turn to blush. Dean continued talking to Harry again. "So now Harry, you have got to stop your sulking and go talk to Draco because we know that the kissing scene between you and Seamus is never going to happen again. Seamus, you have got to go ask Ginny out, maybe send her an owl or something."

"I'd also see Ron before doing that" Harry advised. "He can get a little over protective about Ginny." They all had a good laugh at Harry's last comment.

"Well, I think I'm going to go up to Draco's room tonight and talk to him. I don't want to put it off anymore," announced Harry.

"Good idea" said Dean still half laughing.

"Ummm…Seamus, can you come with me to talk to Draco and tell him that nothing will happen because you like Ginny and are totally straight…" Harry inquired timidly. "Just to be on the safe side?" he added.

"Yeah, sure, I think it is the least I can do," answered Seamus.

"Thanks" said Harry with relief, "Oh and Dean, I recon you'd make a good Psycolo-guy yourself."

"Ah yes," chimed in Seamus cheekily," Dean Thomas, the wizarding psycho."

Laughing Harry and Seamus ran as Dean chased them out of the astronomy tower. All three boys, now in better sprits than an hour earlier, made their way into the main corridors of the castle, two heading for the Head's common room and the other back to Gryffindor to unpack his things.

Author's note: Well, there are three more chapters to go guys. I hope you will be come back here and read them. Also, I can't forget my wonderful editor, Emma, who has done a great job once again. If it weren't for her this story might have been going down hill instead of up (cos I'm getting just a tad lazy). Well, can't wait to read your reviews.