Her name means beauty. Sarrisa. I know not the tongue, but the word means beauty. Now even she is lost to me. Everyone betrays me. First, the scientists who created this hell. Those who forced my sister to bear a copy of herself, a child whose soul is Sarrisa's own… but whose loyalties are not. They thought I could not tell the difference. They were half-right; I knew the girl Ruri did not share Sarrisa's memories. The soul, though, even as Sarrisa died in childbirth, the soul passed into her child. Into Ruri. Now even my sister's spirit has betrayed me.
I heard the whispers. How could I not? Mad Kashin, they called me. Kashin of the many-powers; Lord Kashin, the fool. So I bided my time, and now they shall all die! All those who mocked me, all those who betrayed me, all humanity who couldn't be bothered to help one woman, but slew her in the name of research; the evil shall be removed. Everyone shall die. And the world will be better off.
Once, I had had hope. I had been an idealistic fool, wasting my time, trying to help poor, damned humanity. I had believed in a perfect world, a place where everyone was happy. Sarrisa's ideal. She had taught me to believe, taught me that everyone was good at heart; and for their kindness they betrayed her into death. Still, I had helped her ideal to live on, through me. I had stayed faithful, even to her ghost.
Then I met the girl, Ruri. She was so beautiful, so innocent. Exactly like Sarrisa. Exactly like I was not. I, who had betrayed Sarrisa. She was so kind, and so cruel through her kindness. She had thought to spare me pain. She had thought I did not know my sister was dead. In truth, I did not believe that she was. Still, her kindness touched me. Just as her fear hurt me. I thought it would drive me mad, the fear in her eyes when she looked at me. The girl Ruri flinched from my touch, and that hurt worst of all.
I did my best for her. Set Chelsea as her guard, Chelsea who had guarded me when both of us were children still. Chelsea had always been mother, guide, and older sister to all of us. She protected us from ourselves. I thought she would be the perfect guard for the maiden of life. Chelsea was too good. She fell for Sarrisa, came to love her even as I did. But the maiden returned that love, as she had not done with mine. And Sarrisa had done the unthinkable. She had fled, fled to the surface world, abandoning me to the hell within my mind. She had spent her gift on the wind user, and that effort had drained her unconscious for three days. He had hurt her. He had to die.
Yet again, Chelsea betrayed me. She befriended him, not only spared him but gave him aid. He had hurt Sarrisa, yet Chelsea gave in to the fool whims of the girl Ruri. Finally, though, Pyron and Tiel had returned her to my care. But she had changed. The girl Ruri was more pronounced, and Sarrisa was nearly gone from her face. Only her strength remained. Her strength and that angel's beauty, mask to a creature who was not my sister. I tried to bring her back. Tried and failed. Each time she glimpsed the wind user, Sarrisa grew further away. I was not surprised when she told me she was not my sister; I am not that foolish. It was the blow that shattered the last vestige of my human heart, my last reason for living. Sarrisa was truly dead, so all the world must die with her. 'Sarrisa' means beauty. Once beauty is gone, there is no reason for life. Only destruction can bring forth creation once again. Life out of death. Light out of darkness. Beauty out of bleak despair.
Sarrisa.
Her name means beauty.
This is another of those you really aren't sure where it's going until it's written. I wrote this after finishing a marathon screening of the entire series in under three days with my friend. Something about Kashin just fascinates me, Kashin the mad, Kashin the fool. So here this is. Thank you for reading, and need I say, please review? If no one reviews, I will not know if I should publish the other TU fic I'm working on… ;)
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Dyslexic Angel