Codename: Kids Next Door created by Mr. Warburton, not me!

A Very Kuki Christmas

Part 2

Posted: 30 Dec 2005

Mushi watched out the window, waiting for her sister to return. She had been gone for a while. Just where did this Numbuh 13 kid live anyway? Mushi was beginning to think that something might have happened to her.

A hand touched her shoulder. Mushi looked up. It was Abby. "Don't worry, Mushi. I'm sure that your sister will be all right."

"I don't know, Abby. She's been gone an awful while."

"Numbuh 13 lives on the other side of town."

"And they're walking all the way there!"

"I'm afraid so, Mushi," Abby said. "I'm afraid so."

"Come back, home, Kuki," Mushi whispered. "I will be waiting for you."

-OOO-

Kuki tapped her foot impatiently outside the boys' changing rooms, waiting for Numbuh 13 to come out. "Come on. How is it to wear a dress? I do it all the time."

Numbuh 13 emerged from the changing rooms wearing a yellow-and-white sundress and he was carrying a straw hat in his hand. "That's a sweater, not a dress."

"I don't mean this, silly," Kuki giggled. "Spin around. Let me get look at you."

Numbuh 13 spun away. Kuki clapped her hands. "That dress is real cute on you, Numbuh 13!"

"You really think so, Numbuh 3!" He posed for her.

"I do." She walked up to him and bent down to look at the price tag. She was pleased to learn it was well in her budget. And already knew how much the hat was. She grabbed his arm. "We need to get a pair of scissors and you a new coat."

"What're the scissors for?"

"To get rid of the tags, silly!" She skipped, dragging Numbuh 13, toward the girls' winter wear. Kuki knew all about cute clothing.

"I don't know about this, Numbuh 3. I don't think God intended boys to wear dresses."

"Oh, what do us mere mortals know what God intends?"

As they passed swimwear, which was 50 off, they found Numbuh 86 looking at a pink bikini with white polka dots. It was just about Numbuh 86's size.

"What are you doing here, Numbuh 86?" Kuki asked.

"Just shopping for a friend," Numbuh 86 said hastily. Her face had turned pink.

"I thought you didn't have any friends."

Numbuh 86 looked away. "It's for… it's for you."

Kuki's eyes lit up. "For me?"

Numbuh 86 nodded.

"Yippy! Yippy!" Kuki jumped up and down.

"Would you mind not doing that?" Numbuh 13 asked. "It's kinda embarrassing."

"And who's this with you, Numbuh 3?" Numbuh 86 asked.

"Why, this is… Thir-tina. Yes, that's right. Thirtina."

"Nice to meet you, Thirtina," Numbuh 86 said. She put the bikini back on the rack. "I don't think this is in Numbuh 3's size. Do you want to try on swimsuits, too, Thirtina?"

"No," he said flatly.

"Oh-kay."

"What she means is.. that she doesn't wear swimsuits."

Numbuh 86 nodded. "Oh. Okay. How about you, Numbuh 3?"

"I never turn down a chance to try out clothes with my friends!"

A sudden racket attracted Kuki's attention. Numbuh 13 was putting a swimsuit-covered display stand back up. "Thirtina," Kuki growled, "what did you do?"

"It, ah, seems that this, ah, thing fell over. All by itself."

Numbuh 86 gave him a skeptical look. "Somehow, I don't think so."

"Ahh… perhaps we should just get Thirtina's coat and a pair of scissors and go."

"What are the scissors for?" Numbuh 86 asked.

"To cut the tags off of course."

"Oh. Of course."

-OOO-

What was taking Numbuh 3 so long to get back? Wally wondered as he forced popcorn onto a string. Here I'm doing her job, and she's off somewhere with her boyfriend. What was with girls and romance anyway? You'll never catch me doing anything sappy like that. Nosiree.

Mrs. Sanban plopped the refilled bowl of popcorn onto the table. "That's some good work there, Wally."

"Thank you, Mrs. Sanban," Wally said without much feeling.

"Where are your little friends?"

"I think they're in the living room, yapping about somethin'."

"Oh, yes," Mrs. Sanban sighed. "I remember Christmas with my folks. Having friends and talking up a storm about boys. They used to come by when their parents visited mine every year. It was back in the old country, so we had different customs."

"Is there a point to this, lady?"

"A grown-up is talking here. Why does there have to be a point?"

"Right," Wally sighed. He forced another piece of popcorn onto the string. He was just glad there was only day until Christmas. Then he could open presents. And when was Numbuh 3 getting back home anyway?

-OOO-

Kuki exited the Q-mart. And Numbuh 13 and Numbuh 86 followed. It was about time that Kuki headed back home. "I was wondering, Numbuh 3…"

"Yes, Numbuh 86?"

"Would it be all right if I went to your party?"

"But of course, Numbuh 86." Kuki held onto her hands. "You can come by anytime you want."

-OOO-

Abby emptied what remained of her punch. She was starting to get worried. Numbuh 3 should have back already. Something must have happened to her. She got up. Abby had made a decision. Kuki needed to be rescued. And Abby was going to need help.

She half-ran to the kitchen. "Guys! I think Numbuh 3 is in trouble!"

As she entered the kitchen, Numbuh 4 looked up from his popcorn stringing. "What are you talking about, Numbuh 5?"

"Numbuh 3 has been gone for far too long, Numbuh 4. Numbuh 5's afraid she needs our help."

Numbuh 4 sighed. "Anything's better than stringing this crummy popcorn along this crummy string."

"Say where did Numbuh 3's mom go off to?" Abby asked as Numbuh 4 stood.

"She said she had something to take care of."

-OOO-

"What do you mean your son never made it back home?" Genki loudly said into the mouthpiece.

"I'm sorry, Genki, but I wasn't even aware that he was coming home so early." Genki shook her head ruefully. Kuki was always forgetting to do things like that. "Should I call my husband?"

What a question! "Yes, Betty, you should call Paul." Of all the Betty's that Genki knew, surely this one was the most naïve. "I'm calling mine."

At least that Lizzie girl was with Kani.

-OOO-

"I'm sure that it's none of our business," Abby said. "We have a team-mate to rescue."

"We shouldn't we tell Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 2?"

Abby thought for a second. "Where are they?"

Numbuh 4 just shrugged helplessly.

"Then there's no time." Abby got a scrap of paper and a pencil stub from her pocket and jotted a short message, which she put down on the table. She then grabbed Numbuh 4's arm and rushed him toward the front door. "Come on. We have no time to lose."

-OOO-

Hoagie looked at his cards in despair. He was nowhere to getting Uno. His two opponents, Numbuh 1 and Mushi, had only two cards apiece, while he had seventeen. While it was true that almost anything could happen, he didn't think that would help him.

He was losing this game for sure. "Guys, are you sure that I can't just forfeit?"

"But, Numbuh 2," Mushi said sweetly, "your luck might return at any moment, and you might just win." She put one of her cards down. "Uno."

"That doesn't seem very likely," Hoagie huffed as he put down another card. Then he realized something. He hadn't drawn any cards in awhile. He might actually win this game after all!

-OOO-

The Delightful Children's plan was a simple one. They would capture Numbuh 3 of the Kids Next Door and lure her boyfriend into a trap. It hadn't work the first time, but they were confident that they would more success this time. While Numbuh 4 was alerted to them, they knew that he knew, and would act accordingly. It even helped that Numbuh 3 was by herself.

After what had to be almost an hour, their quarry had her appearance.

She was walking back to her home with two girls. One, who had red hair, looked vaguely familiar, but they most certainly never seen the other one ever before in their lives. She had black hair. Though why would anyone want to wear a sundress in the beginning of winter? They should be no trouble at all. The Delightful Children stepped out of the shadows and block her path. "Where do you think you're going, Kuki Sanban?"

"Back home. You got a problem with that?"

"We must certainly do, Kuki. We have to capture you, and we can't do that if you go home."

Numbuh 3 smiled innocently. "Let's not and say we did."

"Don't be silly…"

"I can't help it!"

"…but how can entrap Numbuh 4 if we don't kidnap you?"

"Hold it!" the red-hair shouted. "Why would you want to capture a stupid boy like Numbuh 4 for?"

"Why must we tell you what our plans are?" the Delightful Children demanded. "Why don't you indulge your plans?"

"I would only be too happy to.

"I'm going to a Christmas party with my good friend Numbuh 3 here. And I will brook no interference in the matter."

"Why? What are you going to do about it?" They paused in thought. "And just who do you think you are anyway?"

"I am Numbuh 86 of the Kids Next Door, and it is our duty to stop kids from falling to the likes of you." She turned toward Kuki. "You ready, Numbuh 3?"

"Always."

They fell into fighting stances and faced the Delightful Children. "Bring it on," Numbuh 86 invited.

"Very well," the Delightful Children replied. "Prepare to get your butts kicked."

They charged.

Numbuh 3 struck first, but the girl in the sundress tripped and knocked her over.

Numbuh 86 kneed the short, blond boy in the stomach. He went down like a sack of tomatoes. His siblings dog piled on top of her.

"Numbuh 86," Numbuh 3 screamed, which was music to the Delightful Children's ears.

But their triumph was shorted-lived as they suddenly found themselves onto an empty coat. They looked up.

And found a very cross-looking Numbuh 86 looking down on them. "If you don't mind, would you give my coat back?"

"Hey! How did you do that?"

"Same way you get into Carnegie Hall."

"Huh?"

"Practice! Jeez, I thought everybody knew that one."

The Delightful Children muttered about how lame that was as they picked themselves back up. "And we aren't giving your coat back either."

"That's just plain mean."

"Yes, we know," they laughed. The blonde girl put on Numbuh 86's coat. They laughed even harder.

That apparently tripped Numbuh 86's trigger. She blindly charged forward. The Delightful Children calmly waited until she was in range before striking. She practically ran right into their fists. "Silly Kid Next Dumb. There is no way you can defeat us."

"Oh, I wouldn't exactly say that!" a voice came behind them.

The Delightful Children turned and their mouths hung open from shock.

"Numbuh 5!" Numbuh 3 said. "Numbuh 4! You came!"

"Of course, Kuki," Numbuh 5 said. "We always come when a team-mate is in danger."

"Thanks, Numbuh 5. But how did you know that I was in trouble?"

"This is very interesting," the Delightful Children growled. "But we have more important matters to discuss."

"You're right," Numbuh 5 smirked. She produced a yellow marble and tossed toward them. "Think fast."

The Delightful Children didn't.

The marble thingy landed in the middle of them and exploded.

They didn't remember anything after that.

-OOO-

With the Delightful Dorks taken care of, Abby felt confident enough to approach the prone Numbuh 86. She bent down and nudged Numbuh 86, trying to wake her. The redhead didn't stir.

"I don't think you're doing it right." Numbuh 4 had came to her side, and Abby could tell that he was smirking.

"Well, what would be the right way?"

"Numbuh 86 doesn't like boys, right?"

"Huh-uh."

Numbuh 4 reached down touched the part of Numbuh 86's thigh that wasn't covered by her skirt. She moaned but didn't wake.

"Mmm-hmm. Now how was this supposed to work, Numbuh 4?"

"I thought a touch by a boy would disgust her so much that it would wake her up."

"And that was your brilliant plan?"

"Yes."

"Maybe Thirtina can help," Numbuh 3 said suddenly.

That attracted Abby's and Numbuh 4's attention. And Abby noticed that there was a second girl with Numbuh 3. "Who's this?"

"A new friend I meet tonight."

Abby shrugged. "Worth a shot, I suppose. Come on, Thirtina, don't be shy. This might be our only chance to wake her."

Hesitantly, Thirtina came forward and knelt by Numbuh 86's side. And froze.

"It's alright, Thirtina. I mean, it's not like you're a jinx or anything, right?"

"Yes, that's right," Thirtina replied in an odd voice. And Numbuh took in a sharp breath. How strange. "I'm not a jinx." Thirtina lightly brushed across Numbuh 86's thigh.

Who instantly flew up and slapped Thirtina on her cheek. "I told you people before. I never want a boy touching me. Ever!"

Numbuh 3 inserted herself between them. "Thirtina is most certainly not a boy!"

"Not that you're able to tell anyway," Numbuh 4 dismissed. "I touched your thigh and you didn't complain."

Numbuh 86's face was stricken with terror. "Excuse me?" she squeaked.

"Ah, Numbuh 86, he was only trying to help." She helped Numbuh 86 up. "Isn't that right, Numbuh 4?"

"I certainly didn't enjoy it." He shivered. "Next time you ask do that, be sure you pay me first."

"Maybe someone should squeeze your leg," Numbuh 86 shot back.

Abby, looking at Numbuh 3, wondered. About many things. "Come on, guys, we better get going."

After they had left, the Delightful Children's recovery and escape went unnoticed.

-OOO-

Mushi had been right. Hoagie was going to win. Just one more card separated him from that victory. When he placed that card on the pile, he felt a terromdous sense of relief. "Anyone for a rematch?"

His opponents, having seven cards apiece, dropped their cards on the table and declined Hoagie's offer. He cabbage patched while chanting, "Go me. Go me."

"Yes, Numbuh 2," Numbuh 1 said, getting up, "you've won. Get over it."

"You're just jealous, Numbuh 1."

"Hardly. I've won far more games of Uno than you have. But you don't see more gloating about it. Now, do you?"

Hoagie deflated. "No, Numbuh 1. I don't."

"Come on, Mushi. Let's go if your sister is home," Numbuh 1 said as they exited from the kitchen, and Hoagie was left alone at the table.

"Now what?"

"Now it's time to leave that kitchen so that I can get so cooking down around here."

"Yes, Mrs. Sanban." Hoagie headed for the door. "See you later. Your sugar cookies need more sugar though."

"Pardon?"

Hoagie looked back. "I said your sugar cookies needed more sugar."

Mrs. Sanban's smile was crooked. "Perhaps you want to help me fix that."

"Boy do I!"

"Then wash your hands and pick up a spatula. I will need another batch cookies stat and yours are the hands to help me."

-OOO-

Kuki dropped the quarters and dime she had been carrying into the change jar after she stepped into the house. She was about to announce that she was back. But Numbuh was suddenly inches from her face. "And just where were you?"

"Er, what do you mean, Numbuh 1? I brought Numbuh 13 home like I said would." The small matter just who's home was left unmentioned.

"Then what kept you?"

"Numbuh 13's home is clear on the other side of town. It takes awhile to get there."

"You never made there. You went shopping for a disguise for Numbuh 13!"

"Wha?"

Numbuh 1 went up to Numbuh 13 and removed his wig. "Oh, don't tell me that you didn't know."

"Numbuh 13! How could you?" Kuki accused.

"It's all your idea, Numbuh 3," he protested.

"Wow! That was a costume?" Numbuh 4 said. "It's much better than mine! I was fooled."

"Ahem."

Numbuh 1 tapped his fingers against each other and laughed nervously. "Numbuh 86! What are you doing here?"

"Attending a friend's Christmas party." She tapped Kuki's chest. "I told you he was a boy."

Numbuh 5 merely slapped her own forehead. "Oh, why didn't I see it?"

"Don't feel too bad, Numbuh 5. I dinna see it, either."

Numbuh sighed. This was kind of kind of thing you should expect when you're with the Kids Next Door. "It's good to have you back, Numbuh 3."

"It's good to back, Numbuh 1."

They wrapped their arms around each other and hugged.

-OOO-

Lizzie hummed to herself as she sat beside Kuki's father on their way back from the store. Nigel was sure to enjoy what was cooking. She would be pleased when the others enjoyed it, too.

-OOO-

"There's something I got to show you, Numbuh 4." Numbuh 3 began pulling on his arm.

"What did you want to show me, Numbuh 3?"

"You'll see."

"How do you know that I won't hate it?"

"Numbuh 4 has already seen it, and he liked it, so I'm sure that you will too."

Hoagie sighed. "Naturally."

Numbuh 3 led him up the stairs. She seemed eager to show him the surprise she was giving him, whatever it was. They went down the hall into Numbuh 3's room. And Hoagie stopped in his tracks.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The walls were slowly melting. And he hadn't had any Central American chili beans in awhile. "Ah, Numbuh 3, are walls supposed to do that?"

"No, I don't think so."

Then the wall collapsed entirely and a destructo-bot walked into the room. In its open cockpit sat the Delightful Children. "We have decided to forego on capturing Numbuh 3 and leading you all into a trap when we can just destroy you one-by-one."

One of the machine's axe-wielding arms raised into the air, before swinging toward Hoagie's head. He tried to duck, but he didn't think he was fast enough.

-OOO-

"What was that crash?" Nigel asked as he led the others toward the stairs.

"It's probably those Delightful Creeps," Numbuh 4 said. "They've been bugging us all day."

"Numbuh 5 would like to know what their plan is now," Numbuh 5 said.

"I'm sure we do, Numbuh 5." Nigel was the first to reach the stairs. He didn't want for the others before climbing them. "But in case it is the Delightful Children, prepare for battle."

Ahead they saw Numbuh 13 appear.

"I think we're going to need to use plan W," Numbuh 4 told the others.

"What's this Plan W, Numbuh 4?" Numbuh 5 asked.

But before he could answer her question, Numbuh 3's door exploded. They exchanged a look of dismay before rushing forward to investigate. They reached the door and looked in. And Nigel was confident believing that he wasn't the only one who couldn't believe what they saw.

Numbuh 3's room filled with metallic debris, the Delightful Children were laying on the floor unconscious, and Numbuh 13 was nowhere to be seen.

"What the heck happened here?" Numbuh 5 asked.

Numbuh 3 answered cheerfully. "I was showing Numbuh 2 this." She held up a Yippers card. "My cousin gave it to me, and now I'm giving it to Numbuh 2."

"And didn't give it to me?" Numbuh 4 said, clearly hurt.

"I tried to, Numbuh 4, but you wouldn't take it."

Numbuh 4 looked away sheepishly. "Oh yeah. I must have been distracted or something."

Nigel screamed, "But what about the Delightful Children?"

Numbuh 3 looked at their prone forms. "Oh, them? Numbuh 13 came in, tripped on this," she picked up a hairbrush, "and crashed into their machine. And for some reason, it just blew up!"

"It just blew up?"

"That's right. It just blew up."

"But where is he now?" Numbuh 5 asked.

Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 2 looked at each other before shrugging. "Idonna."

-OOO-

Numbuh 13 flew through the air wondering if he would ever land.

-OOO-

Lizzie walked through the door, carrying a plastic sack full of grocies in her hands. "I'm here!" she announced.

"Yes, I can see that," Genki laughed. "Are all those groceries really necessary?"

"Did you ever find out what happened to that boy?"

"Yes, but now's he's missing again."

"Don't worry. I'm sure that he'll show up sooner or later."

-OOO-

Numbuh 237 looked up when she heard the crash. She groaned when she saw what the cause was. Numbuh 13 crashed through her window and was in her room. And she was about to change, too. If he had landed a few minutes later…

"You get of my room!" she yelled.

Numbuh 13 was a little slow in complying, so Numbuh 237 threw a pillow at him. That got him moving. She closed the door behind him.

"Jeez, and on Christmas day too."