Disclaimer: Don't owncharacters/show.

Warning: Mild language

AN:Thank you so much for the reviews!I really appreciate them...and you've all been verygenerous with my little story.And thank you toeveryone who is reading it. It'sbeen a lot of fun to write so far.

Reawakening

Chapter 4 – Tears of the Heartless

Her words were met with silence, and Kitty hurried on. "Apparently, she was driving too fast, and in this rain." She shook her head sadly, worriedly. "Her car lost control and turned over into a ditch just outside of town."

Kelso shook his head. "Jackie just can't drive. Remember what she did to my van?"

Everyone glared at him. "KELSO!" He shrugged, completely oblivious.

Kitty slowly closed then opened her eyes, and her normally strident voice softened. "It's serious. She's..." Her voice broke with tears. Jackie had spent so much time in her home, just like the rest of the kids, and Kitty had come to love her in spite of the fact that she was a spoiled brat. "She's in surgery, and I guess it's not…it's not looking good."

The basement had never been as quiet as it was then, not even when it was empty. None of them had ever imagined something like this happening. This was serious. This was…literally life and death. People moving away was one thing; they could always come back. They HAD come back.

"And I thought that since she really doesn't have any family," Kitty continued, "we should all go down to the hospital."

Eric, Fez, Kelso and Donna all stood up, all agreeing with Kitty in quiet, stunned tones. Donna held her boyfriend's hand and looked at him. He tried to smile, but he couldn't quite manage it. Donna glanced to her right and frowned. "Aren't you coming, Hyde?" she asked.

Hyde still sat in his chair, his glasses now on, his arms crossed, his gaze fixated on the now silent television. He lifted his shoulders a fraction of an inch. "No."

"It just made me happy that you remembered."

Donna glared at him. Tears hovered in her eyes. Somewhere along the line, Jackie had become her best friend, and the thought of her being hurt, maybe even dying… "Why not?"

He didn't move. "She won't know anyone's there."

"I've been forgetting ever since I came back from Vegas. And its working."

Donna looked incredulously at Eric, and even Eric, never one of Jackie's biggest fans, was disgusted at the attitude. "So? What about if she wakes up?"

"IF?" Donna cried, looking at Eric.

Hyde shrugged again. "Worry about it then." His voice was tight and controlled. No one could even sense the screaming in his gut.

"You…you want to forget everything? Even that I love…loved you? And that…that you loved me?"

Donna turned an irate glare to Hyde. "Aren't you even worried? Don't you even care that Jackie's hurt?"

He didn't answer, and could only pray that no one noticed how he kept swallowing. Or how his left index finger tapped wildly against his right arm.

"Well, the thing is, I never loved you."

"God, I can't believe you, Hyde!"

He closed his eyes. "Look, she won't need me there, okay? You guys will be there. She won't care who showers her with attention, just as long as someone does."

She won't want me there, is more like it. Not after what I said…the last thing I said…the LAST thing I said to her.

Donna's lips trembled, and never before had she felt this much disdain, near hatred, for Hyde. "You really are a heartless bastard, aren't you?" she growled. She shook her head and tugged on Eric's hand, nearly pulling him off his feet. "Come on."

Hyde remained in his near paralysis as the others began to leave the basement. Fez stopped near his chair and pouted down at him. "Just so you know, Hyde, I am very disappointed in you." He huffed and followed Donna and Eric.

Kelso shook his head. "Man, I thought Jackie was gonna give up on me just cause I'm with Brooke now and settle for you, but I'm pretty sure that when she hears about this, I'm gonna be juggling two women again!"

Hyde sat still, listening until the last of the footsteps faded away. He released a breath and took his glasses off, tossing them to the table. He stood up, feeling numb all over, and stiffly walked towards his room. He sat down on his cot and stared at the floor.

She'd been crying when she left. And it had been raining when she left. Crying, rain on the windshield, wet roads…her car losing control. Rolling over into a ditch. With her in it. And now she was hurt…might even…might even…

His chest became knotted into tight and painful coils. Guilt?

He shivered. He felt so cold all over. Fear?

It was his fault. All his fault. He'd lied to her, hurt her, made her cry, sent her out into the rain. She'd driven with those words he'd spoken to her ringing in her ears. It was his fault.

His eyes closed. She could die. Jackie could die, and the last thing he would have said to her would be that he never loved her. A lie, but she'd believed it. He'd seen it in her eyes. She'd believed it, and she'd felt it.

Hyde's eyes closed. "God, Jackie," he whispered. Damn, his throat was so tight! And it was like a boulder was sitting on his chest now, heavier each second. His eyes were beginning to feel sore, but he wasn't going to cry. Hadn't cried in years.

Jackie.

For some reason, he leaned over to reach underneath his cot and pulled out a shoebox. He opened it and looked at the red lunch bag inside. It had his name and a smiling heart drawn on it. Why he still had it, why he'd even kept it in the first place, he had never quite understood. She'd made him lunch on his first day of work at his father's company and put it in this bag, along with a little troll doll saying that it was the first day of the rest of his life. So what? So she'd made him lunch. It had been so damn cheesy.

But so damn sweet. Loving. And typical Jackie. Underneath all the shallow, self-serving and centered bravado was a genuinely caring soul. Sure, her methods of showing that care weren't always…conventional. Like when she'd redecorated his room in frilly, girly stuff. Or when she'd followed him to work to bring that lunch, and of course the suit it was wrapped in. And when she'd followed him to the lunch he'd had with his father in order to take pictures of them. And sometimes her tactics drove him crazy, like when she pestered him and pestered him to meet his father. Then later, pestered and pestered him to call his father. She'd always cared so much. More than he deserved.

The shoebox slipped out of his hands and fell to the floor.

She'd be at the hospital right now if he'd been the one in the accident. She'd be driving the doctors and nurses absolutely bonkers with questions, just to find out if he was okay. More accurately, to demand that he be okay. She wouldn't be staying away, not even now. Not even after he'd broken her heart. Again.

"Damn it!"

He stood up and started to pace, hoping that the movement would ease the pain in his chest, but it didn't help. He wanted to get violent, throw things around, break things, destroy things. But he couldn't. His entire body felt drained. And the boulder on his chest was getting bigger, spreading up towards his throat. Maybe lying down would help.

It didn't. He still couldn't breathe. His jaw tightened, but shook, his hands gripped his blankets, he steeled himself as best as he could. He would NOT cry. No matter how much he hur…no matter what.

But one flashing thought destroyed his will.

Jackie could be dead right now.

His entire face twisted, and the burning in his eyes erupted.

Two hours later, the hospital

Donna sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, her head resting on Eric's shoulder. They'd been here for two hours, and Jackie was still in surgery. No one said much of anything as they waited. The silence bothered her, made her feel even more scared, but the again, she couldn't think about any conversation she really wanted to have right now. She stared at the floor in front of her, at Kelso's feet, and prayed that Eric's gentle stroking of her shoulder would somehow make it easier.

"Well, well, well. Look who FINALLY decided to show up."

Donna lifted her head when Kelso spoke, and turned to see Hyde standing in the doorway of the waiting room the group had set up camp in. She pursed her lips. Bastard, she thought. Strolling in her so casually when Jackie was…She turned her head into Eric's shoulder. This couldn't really be happening.

Hyde glared at Kelso, but otherwise ignored him. "Any news?"

Donna sat up, but didn't look at him. She did notice that his voice was strained, almost hoarse. And for some perverse reason, that pleased her.

Eric shook his head. "No. She's still in surgery."

Hyde nodded. At least she wasn't…He cleared his throat. "Anyone try to get a hold of her mom?"

Bob Pinciotti sat with Kelso and Fez on a couch across from the one Donna and Eric sat on. "I called earlier. She was…unavailable."

Hyde shook his head in disgust. "Typical." Jackie had not been blessed in the parent department, a misfortune they shared. He glanced at Donna and Eric; Donna refused to look at him. Obviously she was pissed.

He couldn't really blame her.

He sighed and sat down next to her. Not thinking about it, he took off his glasses and hooked them on his shirt, and closed his eyes.

Donna glared at him. "You know, you really…." Her voice trailed off when he looked at her and she saw his face. His eyes were swollen, and red. For a moment, she didn't know what to say. This was nothing she'd ever seen before, nor had she ever expected to see it. "Oh my god…you're…you…" She lifted a hand and pointed towards his eyes.

Hyde stared at her coolly for a moment, then turned and quickly put his glasses back on. He thought about making up some excuse, like that he'd been burning himself just before he'd come here and his eyes, for some reason, had reacted badly. But he didn't. He just crossed his arms in front of him and stared at the floor.

Donna almost smiled. How had she not realized what Hyde had been doing? Jackie would have known. Instantly. But Jackie was…Jackie was… Donna's eyes closed.

"She's going to be okay, Donna. I know she is."

Eric's sweet voice brought her a tiny sap of relief, and she nodded. "Of course she is," she answered, her voice tight and forced. She looked at Hyde. "She's going to be okay, Hyde." A pause. "Right?"

Hyde swallowed hard. His eyes stayed focused on the ugly white flooring. "I…I don't know," he muttered.

That's all I ever say. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

His head shook slightly.

I'm sorry, Jackie.