Disclaimer: Don't own any characters or the show.

Warning: Mild language

AN: As always, thanks so much for the reviews! I'm so glad you've been enjoying this story and hope you continue to! Sorry it's been a few days since I've updated. Work sucks. If only I could win the lottery or publish a best selling novel or something. :giggle:And jackiehydelover...don't you worry. I'm not going that route. When I started this, I knew that people might think I would, and I knew that I wouldn't since it has been done so much.

Reawakening

Chapter 5 -Waking, SleepingNightmare

Hours passed at an agonizing pace, and soon, Kelso and Fez had fallen fast asleep, Fez's head comfortably on Kelso's shoulder. Hyde glared at them. How on earth could they sleep? How could they find that kind of peace? Especially when no one was telling them anything at all about Jackie's condition, or why the surgery was taking so long.

On the few occasions the waiting group was updated, all that was said was that complications had developed. Complications. What THAT meant, Hyde figured, was that the doctors didn't know what the hell they were doing. And that Jackie was in worse trouble than she had been when they'd picked up their knives and cut into her.

He was frustrated, and the guilt that pecked away at what sanity he still had left him exhausted. But he couldn't sleep. No way could he sleep. And he couldn't just sit here anymore. He stood up. "I gotta get out of here," he mumbled in the direction of the equally exhausted looking Donna and Eric. They looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head. "See ya later."

Donna nudged Eric with her elbow as Hyde left the waiting room in a rush. "Go after him," she ordered. "Jackie needs him."

Eric nodded and stood to hurry after Hyde. As soon as he reached the hallway, he broke into a jog. Hyde could really move fast when motivated. "Hyde! Hey…wait up!"

Hyde stopped walking and turned around. He glared at Forman. "What?"

Eric frowned. "Hey, man, come on. I know it's frustrating, but you gotta stick it out."

Hyde did his best to appear Zen. "No, I don't." He turned again, but Forman grabbed his arm and wouldn't let him walk away. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "WHAT?"

Eric sighed. "Look, I know you and Jackie aren't on the best terms right now. But this is…man, she needs us." He looked imploringly at his friend. "She needs YOU."

The Zen failed, and Hyde felt himself begin to lose it. He shook his head almost wildly, and he could hardly keep Forman in focus. "Look, I just can't be here if she…if she…" His voice cracked like it hadn't since he was twelve. "When she…" He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and begged for some control. Had to get that control back. Could NOT let this get to him.

"She might not," Eric replied, but his voice was thin and soft, completely unconvincing even to his own ears.

"I just can't be here, alright?" Hyde's voice was tight, cold, controlled, and he stared at Forman but didn't really see him.

Eric rolled his eyes impatiently. "Why NOT?" There were times when Hyde's disregard of seemingly everything sickened him, and this was one of those times. "God, Hyde, Jackie could die, and you want to take off just like…"

"Okay, say that you and Donna broke up," Hyde interrupted loudly, his face turning red, his voice rising. "Say you had a fight. Say you told her that you never loved her." He swallowed hard. The look on Jackie's face when he'd said that was right there in front of his eyes. Damn guilt. He was almost dizzy with it from the inside out. "And then say she left, went out driving in the rain and rolled her car into a ditch." He paused, looking angrily, sadly, painfully, guiltily at Eric's dumbstruck face. "Say all that happened. Would you want to be at the hospital when she…when she…" There was that voice cracking, and he turned away from Forman. His chest was flattened again by that same damn boulder that had been there since Mrs. Forman told them about Jackie's accident. He could hardly breathe.

Eric kept staring at his friend. "What? You…you told her that…" It was almost impossible to comprehend. It was heartless, even for Hyde. And it didn't make sense. If he'd never loved Jackie, why had he put up with the girl for so long? Why had he always wanted her back when they broke up? The look on Hyde's face was disturbing, too. It was as if this was torturing him, if it was possible for anything to torture him. Eric was at a complete loss, and he just stood there gaping.

Hyde blinked slowly, uncomfortable at the scrutiny, then shook his head so slightly it was nearly imperceptible. "Forget it. I'm fine. I just gotta…"

"Hey guys!"

Hyde and Eric looked back towards the waiting room entrance, and Donna came jogging towards them bearing a half smile. "Jackie's out of surgery. She's…she's…" Her eyes closed for a moment. "She's going to be okay. They stopped all the internal bleeding; she lost a kidney, but she's…she's okay." She looked at Eric, and her eyes overflowed with relieved tears. "She's going to be okay!"

Eric smiled and put his arms around his girlfriend. "Thank God," he said. And somewhat to his surprise, he genuinely meant it. Like it or not, Jackie had become a part of his life. And like it or not, he cared about her. Like it or not, he was thanking God that she was going to live and be okay. He looked at Hyde, but saw nothing. The Zen mask was up again. The only thing Eric saw that indicated any feeling at all was the rapid movement in his throat. "Did you hear that, Hyde? She's gonna be okay."

Hyde stood still, his body stiff as a board. He nodded slightly. "I heard," he muttered.

His eyes closed. Jackie was going to be okay. The boulder on his chest seemed to break apart, and he found himself thanking a God he didn't necessarily believe in for sparing her life.

Hyde stood outside the recovery room Jackie had been put in, looking left and right for any doctors or nurses who would tell him to get the hell out of there. No one was there, the hallway was empty, and so he opened the door as quietly as he could and crept in. The others had gone home after being told that they wouldn't be able to see Jackie for at least another six hours. He'd pretended to, but then sneaked back. He had to see her, and he didn't give a damn whether he was allowed to or not.

The room was dark, except for one small light near Jackie's bed. Its glow was cast on her face, and even though he stood about fifteen feet away from her, he could see the bruising and cuts. He slowly walked towards her, and the damage became clearer. He winced. A black, swollen bruise ringed her left eye and long, jagged cuts ran down her left cheek. More bruising marred her forehead and chin, and her lips and nose had dried blood crusted on them. No one better give her a mirror when she woke up. Jackie was so confident in and proud of her beauty, rightly so, but seeing herself this way might send her into cardiac arrest.

He stood next to her bed and looked down at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest. It was gentle, not labored, and for some reason, he thought he could watch that forever, just her breathing in her sleep. He wanted to take her hand, but just as he reached out, something inside pulled his arm away.

After a few minutes, he decided to sit down for a while, just a little while. His body was so incredibly sore; this was a kind of exhaustion he'd never known before. As he settled in a chair about five feet from Jackie's bedside, he glanced over his shoulder at the window. The darkness of the night was beginning to birth dawn. Another day. And thankfully, another day for Jackie.

He gazed at her for awhile until his eyelids became too heavy to bear. I'll just close them for a minute, he told himself.

After what seemed like only a few seconds, Hyde heard muffled voices coming from Jackie's bed, and he flipped his eyes open. He frowned in confusion. Five people stood around her bed in scrubs, obviously doctors or nurses, or both. They paid him no attention, and he sat up straight. Why hadn't they noticed him? He glanced at the door and thought about sneaking out, but when the voices cleared he found that he couldn't move.

"Things aren't looking good for this poor girl."

Hyde furrowed his brow. What? The doctors had told them that she was going to be fine. Probably just a plot to get them to spend more money on flowers and balloons and cards and all that garbage in the hospital's gift shop.

"It's her heart. It's been broken once too often."

"What happened?"

"That scruffy guy named Steven she loved with all her heart told her that he never loved her. That's why she was driving too fast in the rain. And that's why she's here."

Hyde opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the people around Jackie's bed turned to face him.

All of their faces were Jackie's face.

"YOU KILLED ME! YOU KILLED ME!"

Hyde's body jerked, and his eyes opened wide. His heart raced furiously, and he panted. His hands held the sides of the chair with a death grip. "No," he whispered. He stared at Jackie's bed, but there was no one there. The five Jackie's were gone.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He must have dreamed it. He must have fallen asleep and dreamed it. He felt like he'd just come down off a bad acid trip.

It started to make him angry. He didn't like all this upheaval. First the crying, then the confiding in Forman, now the nightmares. No. This wasn't him. It wasn't. He was NOT this guy. And he wasn't going to BE this guy.

He stood up and shook his head. Time to go get drunk and sleep off this misery. He'd be thinking so much clearer after that. He'd have perspective back.

And without looking at Jackie, he strode purposefully towards the door.

But a slight sound, a whimper similar to the mew of a newborn kitten stopped him. He turned and noticed that Jackie's head was rolling slightly on her pillow. And his heart stopped for a moment.

Before he knew it, before he could give into the voice that would stop himself, he was back by her bed. The thought of her waking up here, alone, unaware of what exactly had happened to her, bothered him. So he'd stay. Just another few minutes.

And before he could stop himself, he reached out and gently traced her uninjured cheek with his fingertips.