I Cant Have Her
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You take my breath away
Killing me more everyday
Why cant you see me
Why cant you pretend that we're meant to be
She's the most beautiful person I know; I can picture her so clearly in my mind; her shoulder-length blue hair that frames a set of violet eyes placed upon a placid sallow face enraptures me and takes the last bit of my breath away. She is the one of whom I think about before I sleep at night; she haunts my weary soul, the way her eyes swirl with untapped emotion, the way her mouth turns just a bit for a passing smile stays fresh in my mind everyday. Still, I know my place; I am just a friend to her and I am also the best friend of the person she loves; it would be so wrong to betray either of their friendship because I know with all my heart and soul that she doesn't want me.
In my dreams we die together
In my dreams we'll be with the other forever
Why cant you love me just one day
Why must you keep taking my soul away
She tortures me everyday; every friendly glance she throws at me takes the last few bits of my fragile hope away; it is because that is all it is…just a friendly glance. And yet, my heart has to close itself off to all the looks she gives him; she doesn't even realize it herself, but she loves him and he loves her as I stand as both of their friends but nothing more. They would die for each other as I would die for the both of them.
Why did I have to love you
You're the girl that I cannot woo
You don't love me at all
And I'm just waiting for the fall
I think, perhaps, that I truly am dying for both of them. He is my best friend; I cannot tell him how I feel and if I cant tell my best friend, who am I supposed to tell? So everyday my heart dies just a little bit more; it is this slow and painful destruction that will lead me to die for them because I will die to keep them alive. I want so much to show someone my pain, but should someone ask, the awful truth would come tumbling out of my mouth, words that I could never take back and awkwardness that would be forever between the three of us.
Every glance you throw at me
Makes my dragon want to be free
But I know that it is impossible
And my best friend is your only possible
With every friendly suggestion and glance, a knife stabs slowly and remorselessly through my dying heart. I keep pushing myself less and less; I cannot seem to see why anything matters anymore, because I know I cant have her and there is no way I can keep her heart. Why did this affliction come to me? I don't think I can bear this painful curse any longer, this dark secret nests as a chained dragon in the depths of my soul. I feel the room getting smaller; I need to get out. I need to do something I haven't done in a long time.
You're destroying my heart forever
All the little pieces going into the never
Because I know that you and I
Will never see eye to eye
I ran and I ran and forgot about everything else; I forgot about the pain. I forgot about the communicator by my side. All I knew was the sweet promise of freedom that came closer the farther I ran; it was as if time didn't exist not until I finally slowed to a stop. I had reached a barren field of dry and dead grass; it looked as if that would be my heart in a matter of hours, how wrong I wish I could have been.
Why did I have to love you
You're the one I cant be true to
Because I want you here tonight
Even though I know, it will never be alright
I finally opened the beeping communicator and my heart was not dry and barren, but bleeding anew as those words reverberated through my head. I swore. This could not be happening, not now, not today.
"Raven and Beastboy are dead."
"Are dead."
"Dead."
I slammed my cybertronic fist into the communicator; this wasn't right. They were supposed to live together…I…I was supposed to protect them! I was supposed to die for them! I didn't deserve this gift of life, I didn't deserve his friendship…and…I didn't deserve to love her; she was right in loving Beastboy instead of me; they were meant to each other. I was just a traitor who doesn't deserve the kindness or warmth that they gave me. I can't live like this…I'm tired of this cursed affliction…I don't deserve her…I never did. I can't have her…I let them down because of my own self-pity! I am not worthy enough to live and I will never have her. I can't have her.
"Raven and Beastboy are dead."
"Raven and Beastboy."
"Raven and Beastboy."
It's time for me to say good-bye
Time to leave and never ask why
My love for you is written in my own bloody hand
As I leave forever, this forsaken land
Here lies Raven
Teen Titan
and protector of
us all.
Here lies Beastboy
Teen Titan
and a loving
comedian.
Here lies Cyborg
Teen Titan
and Best Friend
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This story is dedicated to all those who have loved someone so much that they would die for them, but knows that they will never receive their love in return.
I also do not own TT.