About a year ago ff.net went down for several months and gave me an idea.
What if there was another reason they were not working. What if with a
little help from the Force someone was trying to tell us something. So here
is what I imagined would happen if the Star Wars character took a stand
against what they viewed as unfair working conditions. It is not meant to
offend anybody just bring a smile to your face. :D
Let me know what you think and should I continue.
Strike Force
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp Cc: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Assembly
To all cast members concerned about the treatment of the fictional characters from the Star Wars universe, there will be a conference held in the main vestibule at 1900 hours. All members interested in voting for a representative to carry our demands to the fan fiction writers on Earth must arrive 15 minutes early. We will discuss those said demands and possible avenues of having them met by those authors.
On a more personal note, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's names already appear on the ballot. As this mission is neither sanctioned nor official they have the right to refuse. But as they are used and mistreated by most authors, they may want to keep that in mind.
FYI: For those who volunteered to bring snacks for tonight's meeting, Obi- Wan signed up to bring the drinks.
Mace Windu
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Meeting tonight
Mace you're kidding right, they can't send me to Earth. That Lucas guy killed me. The Council needs to revote. I nominate Yoda. Everybody on that backwater planet loves the little green troll.
Qui-Gon
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Assembly
Mace, I believe I signed up to bring the veggie chips and dip tonight. I think I remember that Yaddle was providing the drinks.
Obi
To: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp Cc: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Food and drink
Qui-Gon, almost all of the authors have killed you off once or twice and then resurrected you to star in another story. I don't think it matters too much that the Lucas guy killed you. He kills me in the new movie. I'm afraid that's not a good enough excuse to avoid going to Earth.
Obi-Wan do you remember the last time Yaddle brought something to drink to a get-together? Do you really want 'swamp punch' again? Don't worry about the chips and dip. I'll cover that for you. Just bring something that the humans can drink.
Mace
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Re Food and drink
Ugh, swamp punch!?! No thank you! I was sick for an entire week after the last time. No wonder there aren't any stories about her having a padawan. No one would survive to knighthood. I'll bring the drinks but I might be late because I need to run to the commissary and we all know how those authors love to have me kidnapped, lose my memory, or have life threatening accidents. So please transcribe the minutes of the meeting so I can review what I missed.
Obi
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp From: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp
Success, tonight's rally was. Show, three people did not. Talk to them later, I will. Finished counting the vote, Palpatine has. Unanimous, the choice is. Selected Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, everyone did. Going to earth, they are. Demands take with them.
Salary we want. Insurance costs. Many accidents, Obi-Wan has. Free medical, get he does not. Equal say in stories we want. Script Approval called it is. Conditions of working .safer they should be. Lighter some stories should be, less angst.
If met our demands are not, strike we will. If more demands you have, to Qui-Gon give them; take them he will.
Yoda Oldest living Jedi Jedi Temple level 3 quarters 154
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Yoda's announcement
Mace it is Qui-Gon. Do you know that my communications terminal is so jammed with messages containing minor demands; I had to create a new account. You're the only one with this address so I'll know if you give it out.
I know the little troll speaks backward in real life, but how is it possible that with the modern improvements of spell and grammar checks that he can mangle his messages?
I guess I was the only one who voted for Yoda to go. They love him. What will I do if they refuse to hear our demands?
Qui-Gon Jinn
To: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp From: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: New address
Heard that I did. Love me they do not. Oddity there I am. Go you will. No more complaints, you will make. Listen to us they will, or story archives crash they will. If unable to access them, no more stories will they write.
Secrets you cannot keep from me. Know everything I do.
Yoda Oldest living Jedi Jedi Temple level 3 quarters 154
To: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: RE: Yoda's Announcement
Qui-Gon
I didn't give him the new address but you know he's right, he knows everything. Now we'll use inner temple communication to keep in touch with you.
Where is Obi-Wan? He sounded excited to go to earth. I hope he hasn't changed his mind.
Speaking of earth, your transport leaves tonight at the seventh hour. Come and have dinner with Depa and me before you leave.
Your friend, Mace.
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Absence
I am sorry Mace but one of the authors used me in a story where I was cloned and my spirit inhabited my cloned body. It was a pretty good one. The author gave me Anakin Solo to train. Yes I'm still excited about earth. Qui-Gon said you invited us to dinner. I'm sorry Bant already invited me yesterday. she said it was to celebrate my nomination.
I can cook for you and Depa when I get back.
Obi
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp From: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Your demands
To all who have forwarded me demands that you want the fan fiction authors to listen to? I will try to get them all heard, but even for a negotiator, I can promise you that not all of them will be accepted.
We'll leave for Earth tonight after dinner and it will be a weeklong shuttle ride. I should have information for you after that. May the Force be with you.
Qui-Gon Jinn
To: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: RE: Absence
It is good to see you back with only minor bruising. We would have needed to send someone else with Qui-Gon if you were in the healers again.
As for your dinner invitation, thanks but no thanks. Even the Fan fiction authors know how dangerous it is to let you in the kitchen. Enjoy Earth and send back lots of pics. Everyone is curious what this planet looks like.
Mace
To: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Away
Yoda,
I just walked Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to the transport. We almost couldn't get into the hanger there were some many people there. Qui-Gon was still grumbling about going to Earth but Obi-Wan was so excited that you would have thought it was his first job.
I told them to cc you on all reports, which Obi-Wan assured me he would do as soon as they arrived.
Mace
Let me know what you think and should I continue.
Strike Force
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp Cc: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Assembly
To all cast members concerned about the treatment of the fictional characters from the Star Wars universe, there will be a conference held in the main vestibule at 1900 hours. All members interested in voting for a representative to carry our demands to the fan fiction writers on Earth must arrive 15 minutes early. We will discuss those said demands and possible avenues of having them met by those authors.
On a more personal note, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's names already appear on the ballot. As this mission is neither sanctioned nor official they have the right to refuse. But as they are used and mistreated by most authors, they may want to keep that in mind.
FYI: For those who volunteered to bring snacks for tonight's meeting, Obi- Wan signed up to bring the drinks.
Mace Windu
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Meeting tonight
Mace you're kidding right, they can't send me to Earth. That Lucas guy killed me. The Council needs to revote. I nominate Yoda. Everybody on that backwater planet loves the little green troll.
Qui-Gon
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Assembly
Mace, I believe I signed up to bring the veggie chips and dip tonight. I think I remember that Yaddle was providing the drinks.
Obi
To: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp Cc: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Food and drink
Qui-Gon, almost all of the authors have killed you off once or twice and then resurrected you to star in another story. I don't think it matters too much that the Lucas guy killed you. He kills me in the new movie. I'm afraid that's not a good enough excuse to avoid going to Earth.
Obi-Wan do you remember the last time Yaddle brought something to drink to a get-together? Do you really want 'swamp punch' again? Don't worry about the chips and dip. I'll cover that for you. Just bring something that the humans can drink.
Mace
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Re Food and drink
Ugh, swamp punch!?! No thank you! I was sick for an entire week after the last time. No wonder there aren't any stories about her having a padawan. No one would survive to knighthood. I'll bring the drinks but I might be late because I need to run to the commissary and we all know how those authors love to have me kidnapped, lose my memory, or have life threatening accidents. So please transcribe the minutes of the meeting so I can review what I missed.
Obi
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp From: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp
Success, tonight's rally was. Show, three people did not. Talk to them later, I will. Finished counting the vote, Palpatine has. Unanimous, the choice is. Selected Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, everyone did. Going to earth, they are. Demands take with them.
Salary we want. Insurance costs. Many accidents, Obi-Wan has. Free medical, get he does not. Equal say in stories we want. Script Approval called it is. Conditions of working .safer they should be. Lighter some stories should be, less angst.
If met our demands are not, strike we will. If more demands you have, to Qui-Gon give them; take them he will.
Yoda Oldest living Jedi Jedi Temple level 3 quarters 154
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Yoda's announcement
Mace it is Qui-Gon. Do you know that my communications terminal is so jammed with messages containing minor demands; I had to create a new account. You're the only one with this address so I'll know if you give it out.
I know the little troll speaks backward in real life, but how is it possible that with the modern improvements of spell and grammar checks that he can mangle his messages?
I guess I was the only one who voted for Yoda to go. They love him. What will I do if they refuse to hear our demands?
Qui-Gon Jinn
To: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp From: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: New address
Heard that I did. Love me they do not. Oddity there I am. Go you will. No more complaints, you will make. Listen to us they will, or story archives crash they will. If unable to access them, no more stories will they write.
Secrets you cannot keep from me. Know everything I do.
Yoda Oldest living Jedi Jedi Temple level 3 quarters 154
To: force_listener_jinn@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: RE: Yoda's Announcement
Qui-Gon
I didn't give him the new address but you know he's right, he knows everything. Now we'll use inner temple communication to keep in touch with you.
Where is Obi-Wan? He sounded excited to go to earth. I hope he hasn't changed his mind.
Speaking of earth, your transport leaves tonight at the seventh hour. Come and have dinner with Depa and me before you leave.
Your friend, Mace.
To: mace_master@jedi.tmp From: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp
Subject: Absence
I am sorry Mace but one of the authors used me in a story where I was cloned and my spirit inhabited my cloned body. It was a pretty good one. The author gave me Anakin Solo to train. Yes I'm still excited about earth. Qui-Gon said you invited us to dinner. I'm sorry Bant already invited me yesterday. she said it was to celebrate my nomination.
I can cook for you and Depa when I get back.
Obi
To: fanfiction_actors_mailinglist@jedi.tmp From: force_master_jinn@jedi.tmp
Subject: Your demands
To all who have forwarded me demands that you want the fan fiction authors to listen to? I will try to get them all heard, but even for a negotiator, I can promise you that not all of them will be accepted.
We'll leave for Earth tonight after dinner and it will be a weeklong shuttle ride. I should have information for you after that. May the Force be with you.
Qui-Gon Jinn
To: sexy_padawan_kenobi@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: RE: Absence
It is good to see you back with only minor bruising. We would have needed to send someone else with Qui-Gon if you were in the healers again.
As for your dinner invitation, thanks but no thanks. Even the Fan fiction authors know how dangerous it is to let you in the kitchen. Enjoy Earth and send back lots of pics. Everyone is curious what this planet looks like.
Mace
To: troll_jedi_master@jedi.tmp From: mace_master@jedi.tmp
Subject: Away
Yoda,
I just walked Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to the transport. We almost couldn't get into the hanger there were some many people there. Qui-Gon was still grumbling about going to Earth but Obi-Wan was so excited that you would have thought it was his first job.
I told them to cc you on all reports, which Obi-Wan assured me he would do as soon as they arrived.
Mace