The living room sat awkwardly quiet. Jen had slipped of to bed shortly after Gail and Lily left for the hotel, Audrey and Chris drove back with them. Andie and Jack were down stair watching some old family videos. Joey sat curled up in the chair, her knees drawl up towards her chest. Dawson and Pacey were watching television, sitting on the couch.
Dawson glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, he could see her nervously shift her weight, her eyes concentrating on the floor. She was somewhere deep in thought.
She looked up and caught his eyes. She smiled, halfway. She decided it was now or never. She stood up and walked over to the television, she turned it off. She nervously stood before Pacey and Dawson.
"Umm, I think I'm ready. I know by now that you two know, I can see if each time you look at me." She said softly as she made her way back to the chair. She clutched tightly to a pillow. "I'm not sure how much you know, so I guess I'm saying that if you have any questions I can try my best to answer them."
"Joey, if you're not up to it, it can wait. "Pacey replied.
"No, I need to get this out of the way, close this horrible chapter in my life for good." She frowned and lightly chewed on her bottom lip
"Why don't you just tell us what you feel comfortable telling us." Dawson answered gently. "But I don't want to do this if it's going to hurt you, Jo I think you've been through enough."
"Yeah, it's been a long and winding road. I guess I should start, well where it all began." She would occasionally make eye contact with each of them, other times she nervously glanced around the room. "Pacey, you left right before Spring Break, and Audrey was out off by Spring break too. I, umm, I headed home for the break. I really didn't have anything better to do. To make a long story short, my dad was dealing again. I overheard a phone call accidentally. At first I tried ignoring it, but them one day I was sitting out front on the porch with Alex, when this strange guy just walks right up to us asking for Mike Potter. I knew what he was there for, and I didn't want Alex to get hurt. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to have someone come to the house. That night I went to your brother." She said making eye contact with Pacey. "I explained everything I had seen. You know, your brother showed me so much understanding, he could see I was torn. I knew this would destroy our family. He told me to go back to school when my break was over, he would keep an eye on the house. They had to go undercover, get some evidence. He said it would be a few weeks, but then he would need me to come down when the arrest was made. After that I only stayed a few more days, I remained as distant as possible towards my Dad, trying to just avoid him all together. Bessie, Bodie and Alex were still completely clueless, so when I left I felt miserable. I couldn't let them know though, too much was at stake." She wiped a tear from her eye and continued, "It was about a week later I got the phone call, the arrest had been made. Doug had one of the officers come pick me up. When I got there, well it wasn't a pretty sight. Bessie was yelling at Doug to let Dad go, he was framed. When she saw me walk in, she ran to me holding on to me. She told me to tell them that Dad was clean, he wasn't dealing. I sat quietly and shook my head. She screamed at me, 'Tell them Jo, tell them that this is wrong." She paused and took a long drawn out breath. "That's when I finally found the strength to speak up. I told her 'No, Bessie, he wasn't set up. I saw it myself.' That was the moment I saw my sister look at me with more hatred than anything I'd ever seen before. She realized that I had been the one who went to the police. She didn't say a thing at first. She slapped me, and that's when the yelling began. She said some things, things I will never forget. Essentially she said I wasn't welcome in her life anymore and stormed out." Her voice cracked. It was then that Dawson stood up, his heart was breaking watching her relive this. Pacey was so shocked he was unable to move. Dawson pulled her up to embrace her. He tightly held on to her while she cried softly.
She pulled away, and looked in to his eyes, "I have to finish, I need to tell you two everything." That's when Pacey extended his hand, pulling her on the couch. She sat down, Dawson sat on the other side of her. Gently rubbing her back. He fought back tears, as did Pacey.
"I guess I would have been stuck at the police office forever if it wasn't for Doug, you see that's were your mom comes into the picture." She said looking over to Dawson.
"Doug called Gail, because well I kind of fell apart at that point. Gail showed up and sat with me, I was on the floor crying. She just sat there with me and held me, crying with me. She took me home to your house. She convinced me that this wasn't my fault. I really don't know what I would've done with out her."
Joey explained in detail over the next thirty minutes all the rest of the details. Pacey and Dawson both sat painfully quiet, each knowing that her opening up like this was painstakingly difficult for her, the questions could wait for later. She had slowly exhausted herself, both physically and emotionally. She was exhibiting amazing restraint, keeping her emotions under control. Only a few times did she let out any glimpse of the pain she suffered.
After she finished her explanation, as if on cue, Jack and Andie reappeared from the basement. Jack could see by the look upon her face that everything was out in the open. The five of them sat quietly in the living room, in absolute silence. An exhausted Joey was the first to break the silence. She stood up, her body wracked with fatigue. Dawson and Pacey quickly stood up and warmly embraced her. Pacey embraced her whole-heartedly, admiring her even more. He saw a side to Joey that he's never seen in the 18 years in Capeside. A Joey that took something head on, and on her own. As he hugged her he looked over at Dawson, his face was stoic, almost lost in another world. He slowly released her and looked her in the eyes.
"Joey, if you need me, I'm right here. For good, no more disappearing acts."
"Good, I think I could use another friend around here," she said quietly, and then pressing her lips together she smiled slightly.
Dawson softly took a hold of her forearm, looking her into the eyes, his eyes were sad, and glazed over. He gently ran the back of his fingers over her cheek before encompassing her in an embrace. He could feel her hold tightly, he closed his eyes, keeping the tears at bay.
"Thank you." Joey whispered as she released her hold of him. She looked at everyone and quietly headed off to bed.
She slowly closed the door behind herself. She let her weight rest against the door now. She felt the tremors in her hands. A few tears slipped down her face, as she slid down the door to the floor. She cried quietly into her hands. She was so frustrated that this still affected her like this, she desperately wanted it all to just be over with. She wiped her eyes clear of the tears. She glanced up at her alarm clock. It read 1:27am. The long day was now over for her. She pulled herself up off the floor and headed for bed.
Jack watched as Dawson and Pacey sat back and seemed lost in another world. Jack knew exactly how they were feeling. He himself felt the same when Joey had finally broke down and told Jen and himself the full details of what was going on. The feeling of 'Why Joey?' went through his head for months. He remembered thinking how many more devastating events could happen to one person. A person who so desperately just wanted a normal life. Now Jack watched as Pacey and Dawson were forced to face the same questions. He decided that maybe a glimpse of her strength would help them.
Dawson sat on the couch his body leaning forward, elbow resting on his legs, and his head resting in his hands. Pacey was leaning back head up, just staring at the ceiling.
Jack cleared his throat, "You know she's going to be all right." He said softly. Breaking the revere of the room. Pacey and Dawson gave him their full attention. "She so incredibly strong, I mean I know she's still fragile, but there is a part of her that has grown from this situation. She's amazing, just when I think she is about to crash, she manages to find the strength to stand up and live it all over again." Jack paused.
"You know, if someone would've told me it would've told me a year ago, that she was going to make it through all this crap, I'm not sure if I could've believed them. When, we walked over that day, what I saw was a person who had been pushed over the edge." Jack's voice cracked. With difficulty he continued, "She pulled herself up again, and with a little help, she stood up again ready for another battle. The funny thing is she was so damn stubborn. Once Doug mentioned that he could let you know Pace, and she was defiantly unwilling to let him so that. Same goes for Gale, when she suggested calling you Dawson, Joey wouldn't here of it. Sure a part of it was just pure embarrassment, she didn't want anyone to know, but another part of it was proving to herself that she could do this on her own, no Dawson and Pacey there to bail her out."
A look of confusion came across Dawson's face. "Embarrassment?" He looked over to Pacey then back at Jack, "Why would she be embarrassed, it's not like it was some huge surprise, Mike had done it before."
Jack slowly shook his head. "Dawson, she was embarrassed by what he did, but really think about it for a minute. Dawson you were the one she blamed at first. When you found out about Mike, don't you remember she blamed you."
"Yes, but what does this have to do with her this time." He asked still clearly bewildered.
Even Pacey knew where this was going. "Are you that dense Dawson, Bessie blamed her for everything. She knows what it's like to do something that is the right thing, but still take the blame for it. D can't you see it, she now is living through the exact same thing she did to you. Imagine for one minute how that feels." Pacey's voice was filled with resentment. He thought for a moment and looked Dawson. "Sorry I didn't mean to snap, I just, just feel like, I don't even know how to convey what I'm thinking into words right now." The tone of his voice was softer now. He leaned over and placed his hand on Dawson's shoulder. "I'm sorry man, you couldn't have known."
"She did this on her own because she needed to, She got through it and I honestly feel that the end result is a better Joey Potter, sure she still has a few more stumbling blocks to get over. But I've seen her transform over the last year, she saved herself, she holds on to that one fact that she made it through." Jack replied, "It's been a long night guys. I think we'll all think a little clearer after we get some sleep. Dawson your more than welcome to stay."
"No, I better head towards the hotel, but thanks for the offer." He stood slowly. "Thanks Jack, thanks for everything. See you guys later." He said as he headed out. Dawson Leery headed out, but thoughts ravished his mind along the drive. Thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone........