Jackie started walking home, she only lived four blocks away, she noticed more and more how comfortable the clothes were, no wonder Donna always looks frumpy, she thought, she knew about this comfort for her whole life. She smiled her friend Donna had a nice boyfriend that she could take care of.
Come to think of it, didn't Eric say that Donna was mad at him? Jackie shrugged at this thought; she will get the details from Donna later tonight.
Jackie walked up to her house and found the front door unlocked, thankfully, because she had left her purse with her keys at the Forman's house. She pushed the heavy door open, and was immediately assaulted with beautiful piano music. Instead of yelling out to Anne that she was home, she walked into the formal living room, that was sparsely decorated with expensive wing chairs and a silk and brocade loveseat. Anne had her back to her, so she sat down on one of the wing chairs opposite of the pearl white grand piano. The music wafted over her with such emotion, each measure had a new tone, which was extenuated by its change in volume. Anne played for a long time without stopping, Jackie was watching her slightly swaying back until she closed her eyes and listened to the lovely passionate music. The piano slowly tempered out to a silence in her house that Jackie didn't like to bear, when she opened her eyes, Anne was looking at her from the piano bench.
"You alright?"
Jackie nodded but she didn't feel all right, she didn't really know what she was feeling or where her motivations were anymore.
"You can talk about it with me." Anne offered in a commanding way, "It might be nice to talk to a stranger." She smiled at Jackie as she walked over to sit on the floor in front of her.
"Your not a stranger Anne."
"Yea, I am. So go on. Talk. Anything just keep going."
Jackie looked at her strangely, but she just breathed out and figured what the hell, nothing bad could come of it.
"I'm just a little lost, I feel kind of out of place in my own skin. Since I'd been living alone I started reading more, and I guess the books showed me different views and things, I wanted to be a nicer better person. But I don't think it is working. Steven and me had a big long…I don't know what you would call it. A fight? no. No one got hurt. It was over nothing, over gummy bears." Jackie faded out and started to just stare at the pure white carpet. Anne didn't judge Jackie or anything she said, she was just listening intently. Anne knew that it would help, because Anne has helped many people with it before.
"Jackie." Anne urged on. Jackie pulled herself out of a reverie.
"Michael wants to get back together with me, I insisted to him that I didn't want to date him ever again, but I know him he will just keep coming back until I break and figure what is the harm? And I think that I won't get attached to him saying he loves me and I won't depend on him this time, but I'm always wrong, I'm just clingy, maybe that's it. Maybe that's what drives him to other women, I am always there demanding things but never giving anything. I used to think that just my acceptance to be someone's girlfriend was enough to make him completely happy. I'm so full of myself, I think I'm beautiful and funny, and perfect…" Jackie put her hand up to her forehead, her eyes were getting a little glazed with the impending tears she was trying to hold back, "I wish that I could be free, because free is happy isn't it? Maybe not, I love having people talk to me and giving me their attention, even bad attention, I need their energy in order to feel alive, I can't even stay in an empty house for a week or two without going out and finding someone to live with me." She looked at Anne who was sitting quietly on the floor with a look in her eye. Jackie never saw anyone with that look, the look of someone who was just listening, no discrimination, and no purpose other than to just listen. "Maybe I should just knock myself unconscious and pray to god that I wake up in a completely different situation with a new life. Be a new person. That's foolish, I could never wouldn't ever, But I feel like if something drastic doesn't happen soon to slap me back on the right track, I don't think I will ever feel okay again." Jackie and Anne sat there in silence for more than twenty minutes, Jackie was pondering why she couldn't sit still for one minute, and Anne was just waiting for Jackie to make the next move.
"Anne tonight do you want to go to the Forman's house and sit in the circle?"
"The circle huh?" Anne had a good idea about what she was talking about, and she wondered internally if it was the right thing for Jackie to be doing right now.