Why Should It Matter?

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Read and Review no matter what you think about it.

Thanks you to all that have read it so far:-)

Warning: This fic is extremely dark at the moment and contains cutting and suicidal thoughts.. if this makes you uncomfortable.. please don't read this.. thank you..

18 Reviews.. that's great!

Chapter Six

The next morning dawned early than it should have. Without notice, the sun rose in the sky, giving the world its glimmer and hope for another day. The sun meant another chance to all the people that thought all opportunities were lost. Even the people too blind to conceive this fact where given the rejuvenated feeling of constant promise. Even without sunshine blasting into her face, Hermione knew it was time to rise. Opening her eyes, she looked around the room oddly. This wasn't her usual room. She looked next to her to see Harry sleeping peacefully. Gasping softly, Hermione figured that she must have fallen asleep the night before. Looking at her companion again, she noticed the pained expression upon his face. His face was the one of ongoing battles of evil and wit, in which all wizards and witches expected him to leave victorious. Like Harry had said, everyone expected him to conquer the things he faced. Even though he had proved triumph time after time, sadly, it still wasn't good enough.

"Poor Harry." Hermione whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair. As desperate as the situation was panning out to be, Hermione knew that she would stand beside Harry no matter what. A gentle moan came from Harry, who was beginning to stir. He opened his eyes, cautiously, wondering who was playing with his hair. A sly smile passed his lips. "Morning, Harry." Hermione said, still unconsciously running her fingers through his hair.

"Good Morning, Hermione." Seeing Hermione reminded Harry the angel of his dreams. A certain glow reflected off of Hermione and onto Harry, making a world of difference. "When did you come in this morning?" Harry asked, stifling a yawn. He was still tired, even though he had slept so much. He guessed the tiredness was from all the abuse his body had endured that summer.

"I never left." Hermione replied quietly, getting an odd look from Harry. "I fell asleep."

"Sure you did." Harry winked at Hermione, making her blush slightly. "You get embarrassed fairly easy; I could use this to my advantage." Harry smirked evilly.

"What advantage would that be?" A small smile donned Hermione's lips, knowing that everything was an entire joke.

"I dunno, I will have to definitely think about this one." Harry said, sitting up. This was the best time to thank Hermione and he intended to do so. "Hermione, I wanted to thank you for yesterday."

"Harry, that isn't necessary." Harry stopped her as soon as those words passed her pink lips.

"Yes it is. You may not think that it was much, but how you helped me meant the world to me. Knowing that I can turn to you for anything and everything makes many things a lot easier. You gave me something that may people have never done. You have given me a true friendship." Harry stared directly into Hermione's feisty brown eyes, seeing them change rapidly with everything that Harry was saying to her. They sent an undeniable calmness even if they were flickering around like mad.

"Harry, you have many friends, how can you say that I just gave friendship to you." Hermione didn't understand what Harry was talking about. There was something that she supposed that was over her head in this situation, but she hoped he would shed some light upon her inquiries.

"I didn't say a friendship, I said a true friendship. Everything that you said to me yesterday changed something inside of me. Your understanding and grace has given me some control back that I have been yearning for since the beginning of the summer. You have vowed silence about what I tell you when most people would have run off right away. Hermione, you knew that would harm me more than anything else and that has given me a deeper respect for you." Hermione was speechless; she couldn't possibly find a response for what Harry had said to her.

"I don't know what to say." Hermione said, staring back into Harry's eyes, seeing the fear still behind the deadness that seemed to be Harry's eyes. But she also saw something else there, a hope. There was a faint trace of hope laying within Harry's eyes, making Hermione know what she was doing was going to help Harry out in the long run.

"You don't need to say anything." Harry said, lying back down on his bed. Just from explaining everything to Hermione, made him tire out again. "But you can do something for me."

"What?"

"Can you get the healing potion and bandages from the bathroom?"

"Of course." She said walking out of the bedroom and quickly heading for the bathroom. There were so many things that now rested inside of Hermione's mind that she barely realized that she had already made it to the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom, Hermione shut the door behind her and looked around the bathroom for the supplies that Harry was talking about. She found them in a cupboard and stashed them underneath her robes, making sure that no one would see them. Walking back to the bedroom, Hermione continued to think about what Harry had said to her. 'I guess I'm a true friend.' Hermione thought, walking back into Harry's room. She looked in his direction and noticed that he was sleeping again. 'I knew he looked tired still.' Hermione said to herself and walked over to the bed. Pulling the cover down on the bed, Hermione pushed back Harry's sleeve. He quickly awoke and jerked his arm away, thinking that it was someone beside Hermione.

"It's alright, Harry. It's just me." She said apologetically. The fear had overtaken Harry's eyes as his breath had quickened. He nodded, trying to calm himself down. Retrieving his arms again, she poured some of the healing potion upon the wounds, seeing them reduce even more in size. Then she wrapped his left arm and then eventually his right arm. Once she was finished, she placed the extra supplies that she brought with her into a drawer that was in the bedside table. Hermione then sat down beside Harry on the bed, watching his eyelids droop over his eyes.

"Thanks." He breathed as he was slipping into a deep sleep. Hermione ran fingers through his hair again and with that, Harry was out.

"Sleep is the best thing for you right about now." Hermione muttered to her sleeping best friend. She covered his body up and remained sitting there until the bedroom door opened. Remus walked in, staring at Hermione oddly.

"How long has he been sleep?" Remus asked sitting down in the chair that still was beside Harry's bed.

"Just fell asleep." Hermione said, feeling quite awkward. She could only imagine with Remus was thinking to himself, but at that moment, Hermione didn't care. She didn't care what it looked like because Hermione knew what she was doing. She was comforting her best friend that best way that she could: with her never faltering love for him. "He was really tired and decided that he needed a little more sleep. I guess the constant beatings this summer really wore him out."

"Yes, that would certainly make a person tired." Remus said, agreeing with Hermione completely. He looked at Hermione and the sleeping Harry. A smile appeared upon his lips. His mind flew backward in time, remembering another young couple. James was always so protective of Lily and Lily always took care of James anytime one of his stupid stunts failed. The situation made Remus remember so many things. "Well, I have an assignment that I'm going on for a few days." Remus said quietly.

"All right, Remus," Hermione got off of the bed as Remus rose from the chair. She gave him a hug. "Take care of yourself." She whispered, knowing that Harry would be devastated to lose Remus as well.

"I will, Hermione. Don't worry; I'm in no danger on this mission." He said, as the young woman pulled away from him. As he walked toward the bedroom door, he turned back to Hermione had already returned to her spot beside Harry. "Hermione?"

"Hmm?" She asked, looking back up at Remus.

"Take good care of Harry." Remus smiled wider than before.

"I will." She said as the last good Marauder walked out of the bedroom.

Even with the promise of a better future, things were still clouded. As the sun shone through the windows of the kitchen, a collective sigh was heard from the two sitting in the kitchen. However, their intents and sighs reined for two completely separate purposes. The girl with the fiery red hair sighed because of how unfair she thought her life was. Nothing ever came good for her and she was sickened from everything that her life was forming into. The unfairness radiated brilliantly inside both females in the kitchen. The girl with bushy brown hair worried for her best friend. It was obvious that everything was dawning in a completely different light for him. The change had come from being over abused and over pressured. The unfairness to the brunette was the fact that her best friend was in so much pain and would be highly criticized by media and other wizards and witches for showing weakness. The unfairness for the red head were her own woes of being trapped inside of a family that loved Mudbloods and Muggles. Ginny looked over at Hermione after her sigh, but only thought negatively of her. No longer did Ginny really talk to Hermione. She was an enemy and a Mudblood at that. But she couldn't show Hermione her true cover yet, no, that wouldn't be smart. First, Ginny needed to pledge to Voldemort, then she could easily turn against them all.

"Something wrong, Herms?" Ginny asked with false friendliness.

"I'm just worried about Harry." She said, looking over at Ginny. Ginny's brain screamed, 'THAT IS ALL ANYONE CARES ABOUT, SAINT POTTER AND ALL HIS HOLINESS!' Then Ginny thought about her thoughts, 'I nearly sounded like Malfoy.'

"Something wrong with him?" She tried to portray concern, but Ginny laughed horrendously on the inside.

"He's just having a rough time, he'll be better soon though."

"Yeah, I hope so." Ginny said, getting up from the table. "Well, I have some homework to do." Ginny starting walking away from the table.

"Bye Ginny."

"Bye," Ginny said and added after rounding the corner, "Mudblood."

Hermione felt bored sitting around and talking to Mrs. Weasley and Ron wasn't cutting it anymore. She decided that she would go check on Harry. As soon as she opened his door, she saw him squirming around in his bed. Small mutters and moans were coming from Harry. "No! Please . . . not him . . . anything but him! Please! TAKE ME!" Harry kicked and tossed, making Hermione quite considered about him. She walked over to him, deciding on waking him up. "Mum, Dad, help me! They're killing him. Please help me!"

"Harry!" Hermione said sternly, shaking Harry. Harry continued to thrash around, not waking up at all. "Harry!" Hermione called a second time.

"NO!" Harry said, sitting straight up, being awake this time. He was breathless and lowered his head to hands. Hermione sat down beside him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Nightmare?" Harry nodded as he sniffled lightly. Harry's small frame was beginning to shake tremendously.

"Hermione, please stay with me." Harry said, sobbing. Hermione hated seeing Harry cry, it made her feel so weak and helpless.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said, hushing her hysterical friend. His shaking continued as he tried to steady his breathing.

"I feel like cutting, please, don't leave me." He sounded like a little child, begging for something that his parents wouldn't get him.

"I'm going to be right here. I won't leave you, Harry." Hermione said, wrapping her arms tighter around Harry. A fear rose within Hermione, she thought that Harry's days of cutting were over. How could she be so naive? Things that brought such pleasure couldn't be ignored or leave quite so soon. The desperation of fright rose within Hermione, just as it was the day before.

"I'm failure." Harry sobbed, still hiding his face in his hands. "Everything that I do is never good enough and people keep dying because of me." He moaned like an injured animal.

"Harry, look at me." He raised his head, looking at Hermione. "You're not failure. You've done so many great things." Tears flooded Hermione's eyes, even though she wished not to provoke them. "Understand that things that happen aren't always your fault."

"It's my fault that Sirius is dead! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO PLAY HERO!" He screamed, throwing himself toward Hermione. The bedroom door opened and Mrs. Weasley stared at Hermione and the crying Harry. Hermione shook her head, signaling to Mrs. Weasley not to say anything. Mrs. Weasley walked out of the room. Hermione rubbed her hands up and down Harry's back, trying to calm him down. "YOU KNOW IT WAS MY FAULT! YOU TOLD ME THAT I SHOULDN'T GO, BUT I WOULDN'T LISTEN TO YOU! EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED LATELY IS ENTIRELY MY FAULT!" His words were coming out as gasps and Hermione could see Harry was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Harry, calm down. Breathe." She let go of him and he leaned forward. "Take deep breaths, calm down." He choked, trying to take deep breaths. "Relax." She continued to massage his back with her hands.

"BUT . . ."

"I said, relax. Everything will be fine." She said calmly, hushing him. He seemed to be listening until he tried to protest again.

"B. . ."

"Harry James Potter, stop being so stubborn and listen to me." Hermione never lost her cool, she knew it wouldn't be a good idea. "Now, relax and breath." Harry's body shook and his breathing was still quite raspy. Hermione could feel the heat his body was producing through his shirt. "Now, just relax." Hermione got off of the bed and walked to the door.

"You- your n-not l-leaving, are you?"

"No, continue to breath." Hermione opened the door and called for Mrs. Weasley.

"Yes Hermione, what's wrong?" The fear laden upon Mrs. Weasley's face was how Hermione was feeling at the moment, but she couldn't say that.

"I'll tell you later. Could you get me some cool water and a cloth?"

"Yes, right away." Mrs. Weasley walked off, showing immense concern for Harry.

Hermione walked back over to Harry, seeing that his breathing was not improving. "You need to relax a little more or your breathing will not slow down. Trust me, everything will feel better if you calm down." Hermione resumed rubbing his back. Within a minute or so, Mrs. Weasley came with a pitcher of water and a cloth.

"Here you go dear." She said, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

"Now, remove your shirt, it is causing a lot of excess heat build up." Harry removed his shirt, very shakily. Hermione felt her heart breaking slowly, watching Harry in his current condition. "I want you to lie on your back." Harry laid back, still choking slightly. Hermione placed the cloth in the pitcher of water and rung it out before wiping Harry's face with it. He started relaxing more with the coolness of the water. "There you go." Hermione said quietly, continuing this process several times. Harry's normal color was returning to him as well as a normal breathing pattern. The last time Hermione rung the cloth out, she folded it neatly and left the cloth on Harry's forehead. His hair was splattered to his face from a mixture of the water and sweat his body was producing. Harry closed his eyes and Hermione turned her face away, having tears flowing down her face. She could feel herself cracking; she desired so much to tell someone about Harry's problems. She desired so much, but she wouldn't. 'I can handle this, until I can convince Harry to talk to Remus about this.' But Hermione didn't know when that would be. She wasn't going to last much longer. She already knew that. Wiping her tears away, Hermione faced back to Harry, whose breathing was light and fair. He was sleeping again, which made Hermione know it was okay to cry. She pulled her knees into her chest and sobbed upon her knees.

AN: Here's the new chapter... read and review.. this the longest chapter I have had (happy dance). . . I know that Harry seems weak, which is out of character, but it is needed for things that are going to happen along the way, including things that happen when they go back to Hogwarts. . . There will be a lot of revelation next chapter.. so I will try to get it out soon :-)

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