A/N: The song lyrics belong to 3 Doors Down, not to me :)

Danny was heading back to the lab after a crime scene run, trying to concentrate on driving but hearing the words his father had spoken to him echo in his mind.

"You've told this girl all about yourself, then? She knows what kind of family you come from, who you used to associate with? She knows about the things you've done?"

He slammed on his brakes, noticing an instant too late that the car in front of him had stopped. He managed to avoid a collision but received an angry look and equally angry gesture from the driver of the car he had almost hit.

"Goddamn New York drivers!" the guy yelled. "This is why I never drive in the city…"

Traffic started to flow again and Danny moved around the still-yelling driver, reaching over and turning up the radio to drown out the stream of obscenities.

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

You love but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Let me go…

"Maddie," he said out loud, instantly connecting with the song. "She doesn't know who I really am…what I've witnessed…what I've done…"

He frowned at the radio, wanting to switch the station but held still by the guilty feeling settling over him. "She should know about Michael Sassone…if he came to see her at school, she might be in danger, and she should at least know why. But if I tell her that, I have to tell her everything…"

He didn't know what to do. He needed advice, but only someone who knew his secret could help him. He wasn't going back to his old life, especially to ask for help. Not from them. Not ever. But there was someone…

A short while later he found himself pulling into a familiar cemetery near his father's house. He parked off to the side of the little gravel road and carefully picked his way through the grass until he found the grave he was looking for.

Caroline Messer

April 9, 1951—May 14, 1991

Beloved Wife and Mother

He bent down and gently brushed some fallen leaves from the headstone. "Hi Mom," he said softly. "It's Danny. I haven't been out here as much this year as I had hoped, but I…I need your help. I didn't know who else to ask…"

He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "They're comin' after me, Mom," he whispered hoarsely. "I always knew they would and I accepted that, but Maddie's in danger, too, and she doesn't even know why. And that's what I need your help with. She deserves to know the truth, she needs to know how much danger she's in and why, but if I tell her what I did, who I am…I'll lose her, Mom, and I won't make it without her. She's my whole life. And the baby…I'm not gonna be much of a father, but I sure as hell want to try." He shook his head again and looked at the grave marker with tears in his eyes. "I don't know what to do…"

He knelt down beside the grave and allowed himself to cry, something he had only ever done in his mother's presence. When he had calmed himself again, he discovered the decision was easier to make than he had believed.

"I can't lie to her," he said. "I've never lied to her before, and I'm certainly not gonna start because of Pop and Michael Sassone. And keeping her and the baby safe are the most important things right now. I don't want to lose her, but if something happens to her because of me…" A lump rose in his throat and he couldn't finish the thought.

He swallowed hard and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes with the back of his hand as he got to his feet. "I'll tell her tonight," he said resolutely. He brushed his hand over the headstone again and smiled sadly. "Thanks Mom…"

Maddie sat alone on the couch, trying not to look at the clock but sneaking peeks at it every few minutes despite her efforts. It wasn't unusual for Danny to be late—it wasn't even unusual for him to be this late—but he always used to call or ask one of his coworkers to call to let her know he was still in one piece. Lately, though, he had been working late without checking up on her and she was worried.

A small voice in the back of her mind kept whispering reasons why Danny would stop calling in the evenings. He's been shot…he's being held hostage…he's been in a car accident… But each night he'd walk through the door safely and kiss her hello. Then the little voice would whisper he's found someone new…he doesn't really love you…he only stayed with you because of the baby…he's having an affair…

"No," she said out loud, trying to keep the voice at bay. "Not my Danny."

But it explained the lack of phone calls, and his more distant behavior as of late.

"So does the increase in the crime rate and his father's attempts to get in touch with him…and me."

But…

She looked down at the ring on her left hand. Amor vincit omnia. Love conquers all. "No," she said again, shaking her head. "No."

He came through the door at that moment and smiled at her. "Were you talking to your students again?"

Maddie smiled back. She often spoke to owner of the paper she was grading as she graded it, and Danny was always quick to tease her about it. "Just thinking out loud this time," she told him.

He plopped down on the couch beside her and tiredly kissed her cheek. "How was school today?"

"Only one fight," she reported proudly. "Adrienne's baby is healthy so far, Tina Brown is breaking up with her crack-dealing boyfriend, and the basketball players have begun rubbing my stomach before games for good luck."

He laughed at the last part. "Superstitious athletes."

"Like you never were…"

"We're not talkin' 'bout me, here," he grinned.

She laughed. "Sure. But you should be proud. It's your son that they think is lucky."

The expression on his face softened. "My son…"

"He's movin' again…"

Danny slid his arm around her and pulled her close, resting his free hand on the baby. The look in his eyes spoke volumes, and every thought of a possible affair fled Maddie's mind. She knew he was hers and hers alone.

She leaned up and kissed him tenderly. "I love you so much…"

He laid his cheek against hers, his blue eyes shining. "I love you too."

They sat together for a few minutes while Danny tried to gather the courage to tell Maddie his secret. He held her in his arms, breathing in her scent, listening to her soft breathing, feeling their son moving within her. His heart was breaking, being torn to shreds at the thought of losing what he had because of his past. But he couldn't let them hurt her.

"Babe, I need to talk to you about somethin'."

"'Bout what?" she asked cautiously, noting the serious tone of his voice.

He sat up and turned to face her, taking her hands in his. "Michael Sassone for starters."

She nodded, knowing there was something about the man that Danny hadn't told her yet. "Okay."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Everything I told you about him is true. I did collar him when I was at the 6-3, and we did believe he had ties to the mob. But there's more to it than that."

He was shaking and the fear was plainly written on his face. Maddie squeezed his hands reassuringly and tried to smile. "Danny, whatever it is, you can tell me."

He swallowed hard and continued. "Michael Sassone does have ties to the mob. I know, because so does my father. So…so did I…"

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came.

"My father got involved with the Utzieli crime family when he was a kid and never wanted to leave. He made good money, his family was protected, and he thought he was respected. When I was born, he thought it was his duty to the Utzielis to involve me, too, so I tagged along whenever he was conducting business. Not the real sensitive stuff when I was little, but the older I got, the more involved I was. I helped sell stolen merchandise, I was the lookout during business deals, small stuff like that."

He paused there, watching the wheels of her mind turning as she processed the information.

"This is why you and your father don't speak…" she said.

He nodded. "It's part of it."

"There's more?"

He nodded again, feeling the shaking of his hands intensify. "Yeah."

"Okay."

Danny took another deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to keep himself together. "By the time I got to high school, two things were pretty clear my father wanted me to get more involved with the Utzielis, and my mother wanted me to get out of the business. I was doin' pretty well in school, playing on the varsity baseball team when I was a sophomore, and she thought I would have a better life if I went to college. My father thought my intelligence would help me climb the ladder in the family, rise higher than he did.

"When I was seventeen, Mom started to get sick. She was a strong woman to put up with my father and the business, but her heart was weak. I spent a lot of time takin' care of her, and started to see how a life outside the Utzielis might be better for me. I liked the idea of earning my own living, of making my own way, and I really liked the idea of playing ball in college."

Danny paused again, knowing the worst was about to come out, unsure if he really could tell her what he did. He looked into her beautiful blue eyes, eyes that were normally so bright and smiling, but were now dull and wide with shock. How could he do this to her?

Because she deserved to know whose child she was carrying. Because she needed to know how much danger she was in. Because he loved her too much to keep it from her any longer.

"I told my father I wanted out two months before my eighteenth birthday. He told me he'd think about it, and like an idiot I believed him. A few days later he asked me to go with him on a business deal, that he needed me there in case the guy he was dealing with got rough with him. I didn't want to go, but I wanted to make sure Pop didn't get hurt, so I went and so did Sonny Sassone, Michael's son. The deal turned sour and the guy did try and get rough, but I didn't have to worry about my father getting hurt."

Danny closed his eyes and bowed his head, the memory flashing vividly across his mind's eye.

"My father beat a man to death that night. He was still throwin' punches long after the guy had stopped movin', and Sonny and I had to pull him off the body. When he came to his senses, he realized what he'd done and begged me to help him cover it up. So I did. I found a place to bury the body where it would never be found and dug the grave, I cleaned up the room where he'd been killed, and I got rid of my father's bloody clothes."

He opened his eyes, but couldn't bring himself to look at Maddie. "I found out later that the whole thing had been a setup," he told her, looking down at his hands still holding hers. "There had been a contract out on the guy my father killed, and they decided to use the murder to get to me. They wanted to scare me into staying in the business, but if it didn't work, they had something to blackmail me with to keep me from talkin'. Michael Sassone had put the whole production together and sent Sonny as a witness."

Maddie blew out a breath, still not knowing what to say or do. She'd been hit with too much information at once, but Danny wasn't done yet.

"My mother died a week later. It was just too much for her to take, finding out her husband was a murder and that her son, the one she had such high hopes for, had not only witnessed the whole thing, but had helped cover it up."

His face crumpled and he tried to choke back the emotion welling up inside of him. "It's my fault, Maddie," he whispered. "I killed her. I'm a witness to years of criminal activity, I covered up a murder, and I killed my own mother…"

Maddie finally found her voice. "Danny…"

He released her hands and rose from the couch, walking to the window andlooking out over the city. "You probably don't want to be around me right now, so I'm gonna stay with Don for a while…until you decide what you want to do."

"What I want to do?" she asked, rising from the couch as well. "Danny, I'm overwhelmed, for sure. It's a lot to absorb but…"

He cut her off. "You don't have to explain it to me," he told her, heading toward the bedroom. "I just have to pack a few things and I'll be outta your way."

"Danny, no, wait…" She took a step toward him but stopped cold before she could take another, her face contorting with pain and her hands immediately going to her abdomen.

He heard a low moan escape her lips and turned swiftly. "What…?"

A second waive of pain washed over her and she grunted, squeezing her eyes shut as her arms clutched the baby. Her knees buckled underneath her and she collapsed onto the floor.

He rushed over to her screaming her name. "Maddie!"

"I'm bleeding…I can feel it…Danny, the baby…"

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1 as fast as his trembling hands would let him, noticing the blood stain that began to appear on the front of Maddie's dress between her legs. "The paramedics are on their way," he assured her, taking her hand in his and brushing the hair gently from her forehead. "Everything's gonna be all right…"

The ambulance arrived what seemed like hours later and rushed Maddie to the nearest hospital, where doctors and nurses worked on her frantically, trying to stem the bleeding and save her life along with that of the baby.

When it was over, though, they only accomplished one of their goals.

"Detective Messer?" a very tired ER doctor asked Danny as he came out of the trauma room where Maddie was being treated.

"Yes?" Danny replied anxiously.

"We were able to stop the bleeding, and she's stable now. We're going to admit her, but…" The doctor frowned. "We couldn't save the baby."

The color drained from Danny's face and he felt himself become lightheaded. "What?"

"I'm sorry," the doctor replied. "We did everything we could, but he just wasn't developed enough to survive outside the womb."

Danny shook his head in disbelief. "No. No! It's not true!" He paced the hallway yelling at the doctor for a few moments before a pair of nurses wheeled Maddie out of the trauma room toward the elevator.

He stopped in his tracks. She was unconscious, her skin pale, and he could see the blood stains on her hospital gown showing through the thin white blanket that covered her. His eyes were drawn to her abdomen as she passed, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. What had once been a softly rounded home for their child was now a bloody, empty hollow where their son had been.

Danny stood frozen in the hallway, watching her as the nurses continued on their path to the elevator, knowing what the doctor had said was true.

They had lost the baby.