TOW a Different London Experience

Summary: (One shot AU) What if Joey had been there that night? (Don't worry, still Mondler)

A/N: Just had to get this written after seeing TOW the Truth About London the other night on TV.

Btw, you're not having déjà vu. One or two of the lines are taken from TOW the Truth About London.

"Hi, I'd like to order some strawberries," Joey spoke into the phone in his and Chandler's hotel room. The bridesmaid he had hooked up with was beside him on his bed, kissing him all over his neck. Listening to the room service attendant, he replied, "Um…" Turning to his companion, he inquired, "You want the small, medium, or large sized bucket?"

Barely stopping her bombardment of kisses, she replied, "I really don't care."

"Yeah, make that a large," Joey answered for her. "And there's an extra tip in it for you if you get it up to room 209 as fast as humanly possible. No, thank you."

"Can't we just do it now and feed each other strawberries later?" Felicity begged.

Joey shook his head, hanging up the phone. "No, my roommate will probably be in soon, and he's not really a light sleeper. Especially when two people are having sex in the next bed over."

"Alright," Felicity pouted, kissing him one more time before going to the door. "I'll be waiting in my room."

Joey grinned. "Don't worry, I'll be there in two seconds. You know, while you're waiting…if you wanna take a naked bubble bath together and feed each other strawberries in that, that would be real nice…"

"Yes it would." Nodding, Felicity slipped out the door, a seductive smile on her face.

Once she was gone, Joey pounced on the phone, ready to call again and demand to know what was taking so long. He pumped his fist victoriously in the air when there was a knock on the door. Even he was impressed by the room service's speed. Geez, I really should do that tip thing more often…then again the guy probably doesn't know I'm only gonna give him a buck…His smile waned once he opened the door. "Oh, hi Monica."

"Is that any way to greet one of your best friends?" Monica slurred, leaning on the doorway.

Joey wrinkled his brow. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about Monica wasn't right. "Sorry, but I was kinda expecting room service. They're bringing up strawberries for…someone waiting in her room…"

Monica sulked, falling onto his chest. "Someone more attractive than me?"

Getting a whiff of her breath, Joey suddenly knew what that something was. She was drunk, really drunk. "Mon, you're hammered."

"No I'm not," Monica protested, feebly hiding the glass of champagne in her hand behind her back. Losing her balance, her hand tilted and its contents spilled to the floor. "Okay, maybe a 'lil bit. You wanna have sex?"

Joey paused for a brief second. In that second Monica planted her lips on his, casting the empty glass to the side. Before he could have another thought, he was pinned on Chandler's bed, making out with extremely close friend Monica Geller. Resisting every one of his primal male instincts, he shoved her off him and exclaimed, "Mon, stop it! This is…wrong!"

"What's the matter, Joey?" To his astonishment, she actually batted her eyelashes. "It's not like you haven't thought about it before."

"Well, yeah…" Joey reluctantly admitted, "But…but…"

"So what's the big deal?" Monica took a seat on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to her. "Take your pants off and let's get this party started!"

"Quick question. Have you ever been this drunk?" Joey asked out of curiosity.

Monica tilted her head. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Wow. Joey laughed, somewhat enjoying seeing his normally calm and collected friend completely out of whack. In his head, he calculated the time he had to do Monica before Felicity could notice. Then he mentally smacked himself. Dude, what are you thinking? "Okay, Mon, let's get you back to your room before this goes any further –"

"But I want it to go further." Grabbing Joey by his shirt, she tossed him onto the bed with surprising strength and assaulted him with kisses.

"This is wrong!" Joey repeated, with more conviction. "If Chandler walks in here…"

"So?" Monica began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Look, I didn't want to tell you, but he sort of has a little crush on you," Joey confessed, again pushing Monica to the side. "If he found us he'd never speak to me again."

Monica raised an eyebrow. "Didn't he steal Kathy from you?"

The point hit home, but Joey refused to let it control him. "Yes, but I'm over that. And this isn't the same. You mean so much more to Chandler and me than Kathy ever did."

"That's sweet, Joey, but I don't need sweet right now," Monica told him, hugging him around the shoulders. "I need passionate, meaningless sex."

"But…did you say 'meaningless'? As in, this wouldn't do anything to our friendship tomorrow morning?" Joey was finding it increasingly difficult to turn down her advances.

"That's the deal," Monica offered, impatiently pulling at her dress' shoulder strap.

"Well…" Joey began, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Thank God." He bolted off the bed, turned the handle and revealed none other than his best friend. "Chandler, my best buddy in the whole wide world is here!" He then gave him a quick very relieved hug.

"Don't tell me you broke into the mini bar, Joe! They really rip you off," Chandler quipped, inching away from Joey into the room.

Joey ran to the desk between the beds, pulling out a condom. "No, I'm not drunk, Monica is, though. I'm going up to, uh, 'see' the bridesmaid I hooked up with. You two have fun." With that, he dashed from the room, keeping his eyes trained on the hallway to avoid Monica's.

Chandler glanced between where Joey had just been and Monica, extremely confused. "What the hell was that about?"

"Nothing. He's a major doodie-head, though. Or gay. I threw myself at him and he turns me down," Monica pouted, crossing her arms.

Suddenly understanding what was going on, Chandler sat next to her. "Is this about how that guy thought you were Ross' mom?"

"Sorta," Monica confessed. "And all the alcohol consumed afterwards."

"Honey, you've just got to let that go okay," Chandler consoled, putting an arm around her. "I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!"

Monica put her head on his shoulder, enjoying the sensation. "Really?"

"You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms!" Chandler assured her, somewhat stunned at his own words.

"You're really nice, you know that?" The next thing Chandler knew, Monica was on top of him, running her hands through his hair and kissing him full on the lips.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Chandler jumped up. "Me giving you a compliment is not sign that we should make out!"

There was a knock out the door. "Room service! We're sorry we took so long – we thought we were out of strawberries but just found some in the back freezer."

They glanced at each other. Grinning, Monica asked, "Is that good enough?"

Chandler shrugged, then leaned in close. "Works for me."