This chapter is a bit choppy. . …But I really didn't wanna wait to post it. XD I know I know….it's not a good idea to post a sucky chapter. But hey…it has potential…I just felt to lazy to really go into depth with it. Just like Corpse Bride. God that movie has soooo much potential but Tim Barton was too fucking lazy to really define the characters and put more depth into the story. Sigh Damn ….why are all writers lazy! XD

Anywho….special thanks to:

WiredShadow – Thanks! I think they're the best couple too! Although there's some weird people that think that Seymour and Yuna look better together o.o …isn't that weird? XD
Imperialism – Thanks for the kudos again, Kelsey. God, thank god that I'm still in character. If I go too far, pleaaaaase tell me. o.o And yes there's some lemon that I will post later on. XD
CrimsonOkami – Don't worry I really like bunnies too :D Thanks for reviewing!
Rollercoaster217 – Phew I'm glad Reflections wasn't too graphic. I was worried I should've rated it NC-17. But I guess not. Thanks for reviewing again!

A Drift of You

Rated: T


I forced myself to prevent my tears from falling. It was hard. Too hard. Lately it had been so difficult to cope that even looking at the ocean made me want to cry my eyes out. I wanted him back with me so badly. I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, own me. It's true…I wanted to be his, his and no one else's. That's why I had turned down the marriage proposals. That's why I kept whistling for him every day of every week of every month, so that he would hopefully hear my longing chant and come running like he said he would.

Worries had started forming around the village already as well. I had lost weight, I was paler than usual. The reason for that black wrapping around my wrist was because under it laid long, thin scars that used to be crimson red slits when they were first created. And they asked "Will lady Yuna be alright?" "Is lady Yuna feeling better?" And at first, with a small smile and a small nod I used to give a positive answer that would leave them satisfied. But it became harder. Soon, my only reply for them would be a simple shrug, because I myself wasn't sure if I would ever really be fine. I didn't know if I would be okay. So I began avoiding contact with the people from Besaid. I began using my tent more often instead of going out and having fun. The only times I would come out would be if there was a sphere hunt mission to be accomplished. For those times, I had completely stopped using my Berserk dressphere. The simple sight of his old sword brought back so many memories. Good memories that would make me smile if he were here with me, but sadly that was not the case, so instead of laughs, tears came out.

It's been almost a year, and it's only gotten worse.

"The first year is always the hardest." Lulu tells me. She should know. She lost Chappu long ago. But somehow it's not the same. It just seems that unless I see him, my state will only worsen over time. Now I'm beginning to think if it's even worth staying alive without him. My only reason to live is the hope that I will see him again, but that too is beginning to fade away. I'm not myself anymore. I don't know who I am anymore and that frightens me. I'm so lost without you and sometimes that I'm beginning to think that killing myself so that I can join you in the Farplane will be the only way for me to be happy once again.

And that's been the only thing that's been going around my mind for the past few days. I mean…it would be so easy….to just go to the lake and stop breathing. Because in the farplane you'd be my air. You'd be even more vital to me than air. But I can't. Every time I go out into the lake this weird thing happens where a strong wind comes out of nowhere and paralyzes me. It paralyzes me because I feel you in that drift of air. Your smell, your touch, your aura. And then I begin to think again about breathing. When that feeling overcomes me that air is you. It's what's keeping me alive. And that's the only reason why I haven't tried it again. You're impeding me from committing suicide, aren't you? You're trying to keep me alive. But why? Don't you want to be with me? Whatever reason it is…that drift of air makes me happy. I feel so absolutely joyous when it comes. So maybe I'll wait….maybe you'll come back to me….maybe I won't have to feel alone anymore. I'll wait for you….

But please come back soon...