Lily: hooray for made up plan names! Personally I think that Mustang Taisa needs to apply his creative energies to…other pursuits, if y'all catch my drift. In other news…there will be a spark of a hint of the almost beginning of romance…watch for it!
Anyways, thanks to all the reviewers…you fuel my fire, and thanks for all the advice and interesting comments! I hope you enjoy!
Plz enjoy
Lemon 04: In which there is vulgarity
The dormitory building where Jean Havoc resided was a small but neat place which he specifically chose to live in for it's proximity to Central HQ. The blonde man wasn't very prone to oversleeping, but when he did he liked to know that work was just a mad dash down two blocks away.
Edward Elric was now eternally grateful for his coworker's choice of living space as it was even closer to the downtown part of Central city and thus also very close to the club Exotica from which Ed was dragging Havoc's unconscious form.
"Where is that f-cking Mustang-baka!" he groaned, hefting the dead weight of Havoc on his back and trying to ignore the suspicious looks sent his way.
It was nearing the appointed time for Havoc to be safely dumped at his apartment but the state-alchemist was still making his way slowly from the club. He would never admit it out loud but Edward really was too small to bear the significantly taller man on his back.
"Ugh! Where could he BE?" Ed cried as Havoc slipped off his back once again.
-At Johnnie's Adult Literature and Commodities store-
"Awww come on! I know that you have it in the back! Why not just…ya know…sell me an early release. It's not that much ahead of everyone else!"
The missing colonel was currently trying to wheedle the newest edition of "Babe Parade" from the stony faced owner of his favorite stand. He leaned across the counter and covertly slid 1000 cenz across the table,
"Come oooonnn" he said, the store owner just raised an eyebrow at the money. Roy waited for a minute before groaning and taking it back,
"Listen you low level porn distributor! I'm trying to get myself a copy of that magazine before it sells out like it did the last time and I had to wait a month to get it! I have something very important I'm doing now and…and…" Roy trailed off and stood back up from his leaning position. Slowly he checked his watch and when he saw the time, the pale man became even paler.
"Oh mother f--"
-Back with Ed-
"F-CKER!" Ed cried at the car that had just passed him and had purposely swerved to hit a slimy puddle of what probably used to be water just to splash him. Now he was soaked with the revolting stuff, it was 7:17…he was late.
"Taku…I hope Hawkeye-san shoots him right in his stinking smirking face!" he muttered choosing to blame Mustang for all of his current misfortune.
"Hello there pretty lady…you're looking really tashty fried dangoooo" Havoc suddenly muttered. Ed rolled his eyes and hiked the blonde further up on his back, if this is what adults did for fun then he would stick to his books thank-you-very-much.
"Hagane noooooo!" a familiar voice suddenly called. Ed's head snapped up and his eyes darkened when he saw Mustang running towards him.
"YOU STINKING GOOD FOR NOTHING RAT!" Ed yelled, glaring daggers at the dark haired man,
"Where…" he said dangerously "have you been?"
Roy immediately looked uncomfortable and he refused to meet Ed's smoldering golden eyes,
"Uhm…let me take Havoc-san off your back…I'll carry him for the rest of the way…" he said overenthusiastically. Ed narrowed his eyes but let Roy take the unconscious man and hoist him onto his own back.
"This is going to be hard…why does Havoc have to be so damn…big" Roy muttered, avoiding saying tall which would imply that he himself wasn't adequate height and that was unacceptable. Ed smirked, catching the unsaid comment, and began to run
"Oy! Hagane no!" Roy called after him.
"We have to hurry! He needs to be there before 7:20!" Ed called back, still running. Roy groaned and hiked Havoc's body up once
"Damn chibi…" he moaned under his breath and took off at a run.
Sheska couldn't quite understand why people never knew what looked good on her. All her life her mother and her sisters and even her brothers had bought a myriad of clothes and accessories, none of which looked any good on her. She herself had decided that plain and nondescript was the style that suited her frumpish looks and average figure.
It appeared, however, that she was very wrong about herself. She didn't know why Myrtle knew what looked good on her and she didn't, but she was grateful that the older woman did.
She stood in her room in front of her full length mirror and did a once over of herself.
Her hair had been brushed so that it shone and then it had been tied back into a sleek bun at the back of her head. Her fringe had been trimmed and parted to one side.
Nothing could be done about her glasses right away so she still wore them, but behind the enormous black frames Myrtle had applied mascara and eye shadow to her eyes and lashes. Sheska had refused any makeup aside from that and some sweet smelling lip balm that tasted like candy.
She wore a simple black long sleeved dress which showed her bare shoulders and ended just below mid thigh. With that she wore long black stockings and on her feet were dainty emerald ballet flats. She would carry a small black drawstring bag with her, when she had complained that there was no room for a book in it, Myrtle had retorted that she was going out to have fun with her friend and not to read.
Myrtle had left her house with a cheery reminder to let herself have fun and just relax (or else) just over ten minutes ago. Sheska checked her wall clock, 7:02, she was late! She gasped and grabbed her keys, dashing out of the house; she locked the door and ran across the street. Luckily for her, C'est L'amour was very close to her house so she didn't have to run too far.
'I hope I look good!' she thought as she dashed past a group of men on their way to the bar. She didn't hear them making catcalls at her and if she did, she probably thought they were just joking.
Farman sighed and checked his watch, 7:05, he was nervous. He knew that Roy had probably screwed up some way or another just because Roy Mustang was not one to keep to plans of this nature; also his favorite magazine was being released tonight. All those factors combined made a mixture for one big screw up, Farman groaned and shook his head; he needed to pay attention to his part of the plan so at least that would go right.
"Farman-san!" he heard a familiar voice call, he turned and saw Sheska running towards him.
"Oh hello Sheska-san…" he said absentmindedly glancing away from her. And then his brain caught up to his eyes and he did a double-take.
He had known that Sheska would be pretty if someone cleaned her up a little but he didn't have any idea that she could come out looking this good. He stopped himself from gaping and smiled kindly, reminding himself that the plan was for Sheska to get together with Havoc, commented on her attire.
"You look very nice tonight Sheska-san" he said and watched her blush shyly with an inner smile,
"You do too Farman-san…now let's have a seat" she replied. They chose an outdoors table at Farman's request (in accordance to the Havocsperience plan) and seated themselves. Farman checked his watch, 7:20, five minutes.
"So Sheska-san, what do you usually do on Fridays if you don't go out?" he asked. Immediately Sheska brightened,
"Well, you know I really love to read so I set up challenges for myself. Every weekend I get ten books I've never read and try to read all ten of them within two days! It only never works when I don't find a new book, then I just reread all the old ones" she explained. Farman plastered a smile on his face while thinking
'She really…really…really needs to get out more; hopefully she and Havoc can find enough middle ground to get along'
"So what do you like to do on weekends Farman-san?" Sheska asked him. Farman hummed in thought; he didn't want to tell him that he went out to bars with his friends and picked up girls on occasion. What did people do when they weren't at parties or bars?
"I like to try out new recipes since I'm a bachelor and I need to know how to cook…" he finally said. Sheska smiled brightly at him,
"That sounds like fun! You know I once read a cook book detailing exactly the process of…"
"Excuse me…" Sheska was interrupted by a waiter, Farman looked up at him
"There is a phone call for a Mister…Farman?"
'Show time' Farman thought excusing himself from the table and following the man to the back to answer the phone.
When they reached Havoc's apartment, they found the rather attractive landlady waiting for them, twirling a ring of keys around one finger. Immediately Roy's Babe-dar began to flash and he zeroed in on her. Ed, completely without the aforementioned mechanism was left to gape in wonderment as Roy flirted up a storm within ten seconds.
"What the…" Ed mumbled, completely astonished at Roy's 180 transformation from the louse he was at the office to the fast talking lady killer "Mustang Taisa-sama" he was at the moment. But it wasn't only the fact that Roy had made such a change, it was the obvious infatuation the landlady radiated within ten seconds of speaking to him. Ed shook his head,
"Adults" he murmured and cleared his throat. Immediately the two older people snapped to attention, the landlady blushed and Roy, looking slightly annoyed, hoisted Havoc up higher on his shoulders.
"Let's get to it then…I believe I can trust this…lovely lady…to call Farman at C'est L'amour." Roy said, throwing one last look at the landlady who blushed even brighter and nodded fervently before going off to perform her task.
Ed rolled his eyes and went inside the building behind Roy.
"This is a pretty nice place…" Roy mumbled, glancing around the lobby,
"Nice and clean…I never lived anywhere this nice when I was his rank!" Ed snorted and shook his head,
"you probably were never in a rank long enough to hold a living space befitting it…I bet the military higher-ups decided that it'd be better to keep you in the cheapest housing they could find until you were in a position you could keep for a while and then move you up" he said. Roy scowled but said nothing. They had reached Havoc's floor and were walking along the row of similar navy blue doors looking for Havoc's own room.
"Ok let's see…167…168...169! Here it is!" Ed exclaimed, pulling out the key to the room (he had gotten it from Havoc's pocket earlier) and inserting it into the lock. Roy smirked,
"169…ironic number isn't it?" he murmured, chuckling slightly. Ed looked up at him as if he were crazy and raised an eyebrow,
"What's so ironic about it?" he asked, clearly believing Roy had gone slightly insane. The older man shot a half puzzled look at Ed,
"One-SIXTY-NINE Edward-kun!" he said. When Ed sent an even more confused look at him, Roy simply sighed and shook his head,
"Children…" he said exasperatedly and walked into the room. Ed stood outside growling for a minute,
"Like adults are any better…" he mumbled mutinously before going inside as well.
"Sheska-san…I'm afraid we'll have to cut our outing a bit short for now…" Sheska looked up at Farman's apologetic face. It had been less than a minute since he had left to answer the phone call and he had just returned.
"What's happened?" she asked worriedly, Farman sighed,
"It seems that one of my friends has fallen very ill. He went out tonight, for Fuhrer-knows what reason, and it seems that it was too much for him to take. His landlady just called, he's managed to stumble into his room but she's worried that he won't be able to take care of himself tonight" he said. Sheska frowned in sympathy,
"Well, let's go in and check up on him shall we?" she said, standing up. Farman silently congratulated himself on the plan working thus far and said,
"Are you sure you don't mind?" he was even happier when she shook her head no and stood up to leave.
"So, where does he live?" Sheska asked as they set off, Farman smiled,
"Oh, just around the corner from here," he replied and began to walk. As they approached Havoc's building he saw a flash of a familiar blonde head and red coat and he smirked,
'Edward-kun and Mustang-Taisa must have just put him in there…oh thank Deuce Mustang-Taisa actually stuck to the plan!' he thought.
When Farman and Sheska actually reached Havoc's apartment, the first thing they noticed was the fact that the door was not locked. Of course Farman knew that this was part of the plan, to make it look as if Havoc was too sick to actually shut the door after himself. When they walked in the first thing they saw was Havoc sprawled on the floor, half on and half off his couch with his shirt held in his hand and only one shoe off.
'Edward-kun and Mustang Taisa are really good at this!' Farman thought. He bent over under the pretense of checking if Havoc was breathing and smiled, not a trace of alcohol on his breath.
"He's still breathing so I suppose he should be okay…but I think he's still feverish. He has a stomach virus you see…" Farman said and, as if on cue, Havoc groaned in his sleep.
"Why don't you change out of that dress in case he decides to throw up and you get hit with it, just use one of his shirts, he won't mind" Farman began to drag Havoc into the bedroom and onto the bed. Sheska blushed,
"Are you sure he won't mind?" she asked hesitantly. Farman smiled at her,
"Of course not! Go ahead; it looks like we'll be here for some time so you'd probably be more comfortable wearing something like a big shirt…also I'd hate to see him vomit all over such a pretty dress" he said. Sheska nodded, grabbed a shirt out of the closet (which was open), and went into the bathroom to change.
"Come on you big lug, time for your act…" Farman murmured to the unconscious Havoc once Sheska was inside the bathroom. He turned to check the clock on the wall, 7:32, Mustang was slightly late but at this stage in the plan it didn't quite matter, everything vital was in place.
The phone rang and Farman smiled and went to pick it up.
"Moshi-moshi?" he said, already knowing who it was.
"Farman-san, we're ready, it's time for you to get out." Ed's voice crackled over the phone, nodding to himself Farman made sure to answer loudly,
"No Havoc-san is…indisposed at the moment…urgent business? But he's not able to…what? Taisa wants me to go in his place? But I'm with someone and we have to watch…understood." He hung up the phone and turned around where Sheska stood. Farman noted momentarily that she looked cute in Havoc's oversized shirt before he fixed an apologetic look on his face,
"Sheska-san…" he started but she held up a hand.
"No…I-I heard your conversation. You should go if Mustang Taisa wants you…I'll um, I'll stay with your friend. He is…Lieutenant Havoc right?" she said, Farman nodded,
"Yes, I'll stay with Havoc-san while you go and work. I have a feeling I'll be here 'til morning but then if it's urgent business with the Colonel then you'll probably be up all night too."
Farman gave her a grateful smile,
"Thanks for everything tonight Sheska-san…you've been so accommodating. I'll have to reschedule so we can have a proper outing," he said. Sheska smiled back and walked him to the door and waved goodbye before shutting the door. Farman ran down the hall and out of the building, calling a brief thanks to the landlady.
'Well Havoc my old friend' he thought as he ran 'it's all up to you now'
And indeed back in apartment number 169, the show had just begun.
Lily: Anyway…yeah, I lied about Sheska getting kinky in this chapter…it's in the next one. And don't worry…it isn't as OOC as you think it'll be ya dig? 7 pages…longer than its predecessors but not long enough I'm sure. I think I work myself up to 10-14 pages later on but for now 5-8 is about as much as I can pump out.
…Actually I lied again; this chapter would have been longer only I liked this end too much. For me, finding really good ways to end chapters can be difficult so when I accidentally make one I'm like ZOMG YES! So yeah…
Review plz!