Why Should It Matter?
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Chapter Twelve: The Renewed Friendship
The morning had come far too quickly for Harry. The sunshine was beating into the dormitories, making it seem as if the thunderstorm had never happened. Many people were anxious to start their year at Hogwarts, but of course, Harry wasn't. He groaned unhappily as his eyes shot open suddenly. He definitely wasn't looking forward to going through his first day of classes. He was nearly positive that many people had heard about his problems over the summer with his uncle.
That would cause stares.
So would the distance he knew he would be putting between himself and his fellow classmates. He knew it would happen. He knew that he wouldn't be able to pretend that nothing was wrong with him. Sighing, he slowly looked down at his arm. Blood had seeped through the thickly layered bandage. He decided that he would mess with everything later that day, knowing that the morning wouldn't be the greatest time to deal with something like that. Moaning lightly, Harry peeked out of his curtains, seeing if anyone was moving around outside of his enclosed space. None of the others were up yet, which made Harry feel a bit better. He didn't need anyone noticing his bandage and questioning him about it. Quickly moving over to his trunk, he opened it, noticing his dagger lying on top. He groaned, rubbing his arm where it was aching.
He was consumed by his thoughts as he dressed. There were too many things at that moment that seemed to be outrageous. Harry knew that if anyone else found out about his self-mutilation, many problems would arise. Harry would just have to remain careful and try to deal with both Hermione and Malfoy.
Once he was finished dressing, Harry grabbed his school bag and walked out of the dormitory with it. He knew it would be some time before his fellow Gryffindors would be up, so he made his way to the common room. Making his way down the stairs, he noticed someone sleeping in a chair. He moved closer to the sleeping person to realize that it was Hermione. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel or act around her. There was still too much fuzz and confusion when it came to their friendship.
'But I shouldn't make her miss her classes or breakfast just because I'm angry with her.' Walking over to her, he shook Hermione lightly. Her eyes opened slowly, revealing two beautiful cinnamon brown eyes. Harry was mesmerized momentarily before shaking himself mentally. "Hermione, you fell asleep in the common room and if you don't move, you'll be late to class." That caught her attention. She shot up and stood. The female Gryffindor stared into his eyes for a second before smiling.
"Thanks Harry." She said, jogging up to her dormitory. Harry plopped down in the chair that Hermione had just been sleeping in. He needed to clear his mind of everything, including his cutting and his encounter with Hermione. But whatever happened when he looked into Hermione's eyes, made him feel uncomfortable. Something had clicked inside of him, making him think and feel differently. He was supposed to be furious with her; after all, she had been the one that caused all of his problems to intensify.
'But did she really?' He thought, trying to search for the answer.
His inner conscience shot back. 'Of course she did, you know it!'
'SHUT UP! YOU'VE ALREADY CAUSED ENOUGH PROBLEMS!' He sat quietly, trying to rid his mind of every thought that was circulating. All he needed was his book smarts and a calm nature. 'Ha, like I have either of those anyway!' He laughed weakly, imagining Hermione smirking at the idea of Harry having book smarts. Before he realized it, people were buzzing around the common room like nervous honey bees. He didn't pay attention to any of their conversations, considering that the Gryffindors seemed rather dull that morning.
"Harry." A voice came from behind his chair. He looked and saw Hermione standing there. "I would like to thank you again for waking me up."
"No problem." He muttered dully, still fairly confused with what was going on with him.
He could feel Hermione staring at him. Harry knew that she wanted to ask if he was alright without even looking. He looked up her, seeing the apprehension that was visibly there. "You can ask if you want." Harry saw confusion spread across Hermione's face; she clearly hadn't expected him to say anything else.
"Are you okay?" She sat down on the arm of the chair. He looked up, fixating his emerald green pools upon Hermione's face.
"No." From the surprised look on Hermione's face, he knew that she had expected an astounding yes. Her emotions sudden slid into a darker mode, trying to convey how deeply worried she was about her companion. Harry watched carefully, seeing everything that was fazing upon his fellow Gryffindor.
"What did you say?" It seemed as though she thought she had misheard what he had said.
"I said no." He sighed, taking a deep breath. "For the first time in my life, I'm not fine and I can't hide it." He said standing up. He started to walk away from Hermione. Hermione reached out to him, luckily pulling on his good arm.
"You don't have to be alone though." She was mystified by everything that was going on, Harry could plainly see it.
"I know. But I'm not ready to accept any help from anyone." Hermione sighed unhappily.
"I understand. But you know that you've got a friend in me, regardless of what was said before. Harry, I didn't want to hurt you."
"I know." He looked at Hermione again. This was the girl that took care of him, the one who had stayed beside him all throughout his harsh cutting moments. Held him when he unable to think of anything but the cutting. She was the only one that knew of everything and the only one that seemed like she would help regardless of the circumstances. Harry looked down at her hand that was gently closed around his arm as she hugged him. He felt an unusual warmth spreading throughout his body, making him tingle with life.
Life.
'Is there possibly life outside of my small existence and my obsession with cutting?' Harry asked himself, hoping that nagging little voice wouldn't ruin his thoughts.
Oddly enough, it never came.
Pulling his arm away, he continued looking at Hermione, noticing the girl that had helped him. She was still there, even if he hadn't allowed himself to believe that before.
His concentration was only broken when he heard a voice calling to him.
"Hey Harry, are you going to stare at your girlfriend all day, or come to breakfast?" He turned to see Ron standing behind him, smirking from ear to ear. Harry rolled his eyes, before walking ahead of both of his friends.
He could hear Hermione hissing angrily towards Ron. "Ronald Billius Weasley, I told you that Harry and I aren't dating. You stupid bloke, when will that sink through your thick skull?" Harry smiled, hearing his friends fighting like usual. Oddly enough, Harry felt like he was alright at the moment. Nothing seemed to be bothering him, which made the Gryffindor feel great.
Even alive.
'I don't know how much longer this high is going to last, but I like the feeling.' Making his way down the hallways, Harry still listened to his friends bickering back in forth. 'Another year, another chance.'
-ooo-
Another year of aggravating, insufferable idiots who didn't have the slightest notion of what they were learning. It always seemed the same, no matter what he tried to teach the students. They seemed to come back every year more stupid than the previous year. The greasy-haired man sighed, leaning back in his chair in his Potions Lab. He rubbed his temples before he looked down at his desk. The schedule he and the other teachers had made was sitting there. He moaned irately, remembering that the sixth years were first that morning. In would come the insufferable know-it-all, Perfect Potter, and Potter's sidekick.
He was amazed that both Potter and Weasley had scored high enough to be placed in this potions class. 'At least Longbottom didn't make it.' He smirked evilly. 'Well I suppose that there will be more time to belittle Potter, especially since he and Weasley are probably the stupidest students in this class.'
He didn't care what had happened over the summer. It was ancient history as far as Snape was concerned, and he wasn't going to treat Potter any differently than he ever had. The boy needed to be toughened up and strengthened if he was expected to defeat the Dark Lord once and for all. Severus Snape stood, realizing that he heard footsteps nearing his classroom.
A familiar blonde walked into the room, smirking as usual. Draco was Snape's favorite student, regardless of whatever he did. Yes, he had a father that was a jackass, one who would eventually force him into the Death Eater league. And yes, he could never beat Potter in Quidditch, but there was definitely something about Draco Malfoy's style that Severus admired.
"Is there something you need, Draco? Class doesn't start for nearly a good thirty minutes." There was something innocent in Draco's intentions, he could definitely see it. However, Severus didn't know how a Slytherin could have innocence in any of their intentions.
"I was wondering about self-mutilation, actually." Draco said, calm as you please, in a tone most people would ask about the weather. Snape could feel his eyes widened. "Before you say anything, Professor, it's not me doing anything. Nor is anyone that I know doing it. But I was wondering if you knew anything about the illnesses involved with it. Since I've never had anything such as that, I've never talk to a specialist."
"What do you mean, Draco?" Severus raised an eyebrow, trying to decipher what was on Draco's mind. Why would the young Malfoy want to know about something unless he or someone else he knew really had the certain medical disorder?
"Okay, let me cut to the chase. Is it easy to persuade someone that has a mental disorder?"
"It all depends. Not all cases are identical and there are several types of disorders. Some people are easy to persuade, while others aren't. It really varies with the spirit of the person battling the illness." Draco's eyes were darting nervously around Snape's face, really making the older man wonder if his pupil was telling him the truth. "But, may I suggest, that if you do know someone that is involved in self-mutilation that you either tell someone or don't mess with that person." Severus hissed, feeling very horrible about where this conversation was heading.
"Why not?" Draco asked, before quickly adding, "Out of curiosity's sake, I mean."
"Messing with people like that is risky, it might actually cause them to kill themselves." Draco's eyes stopped darting around his face and looked dead on with Snape's dark eyes. Something wasn't right, Severus thought, especially with his behavior. "Anything else you wish to ponder about?"
"No sir, that was all that I had in mind." He was severely disappointed in the young Malfoy. 'It seems as though I will need to keep my eye on him after all. I'm not sure if he's hurting himself, if he knows someone who is, or if he's just a curious teen.' His questions seemed too punctual for the common person, even from Severus's point of view. Draco was a smart kid, but even he wouldn't randomly think to ask about something like that without knowing someone or placing the acts upon himself. It was extremely random.
Draco turned around and started walking out of the classroom, leaving Severus alone to think about what they had discussed. 'Maybe if I pinpoint the cutter, whether it is Draco or not, I'll be able to help the young Malfoy avoid any trouble, whether by his stupidity or somebody else's. That boy doesn't need to mess up, especially with Lucius in Azkaban.' Even Severus knew it was only a matter of time before Lucius and the other Death Eaters were going to escape from Azkaban Prison.
Heaving another sigh, Severus rolled his eyes, noticing the time was dwindling quickly, and soon he would have his first class of the school year. He honestly despised the idea of having Sixth Year Potion first things in the blasted morning, but there was nothing that he could do about it now. Walking around the classroom, Severus made sure that everything was ready for that day's classes. He decided on complex notes and a hefty essay for the first class of the day.
He wasn't sure if he was ready for all of those dolts to make error-filled potions. The first potion of the year was always proven to be difficult in past years and Snape was almost positive this year would prove the same. It was a little less than complex truth potion, one that could easily be overpowered by a strong wizard. It was much weaker than Veritaserum, which was rarely ever produced by a class, for obvious reasons..
The truth potion that they would be creating presented several dangers. If even one step was done incorrectly, the potion would become poisonous. But it was hard to identify. The potion itself wouldn't change its physical appearance if created incorrectly, so Severus always had several students taken ill from testing their truth potions.
Before he knew it, he heard voices approaching the Potions classroom, making his blood pressure rise. What made Snape even angrier was the fact that it was the Golden Trio that had walked through the door. He sneered evilly watching the three chat animatedly about the morning events. He pretended he wasn't listening, but tuned into the conversation.
"Come on Hermione, I was kidding." Weasley protested anxiously. "I know there is nothing going on between you and Harry, especially not romantically."
"Why especially not romantically? Do you think that I'm incapable of finding true love?" Snape, who wasn't facing the trio, smirked at Granger's comment. He figured she wouldn't ever find a man that would love her, much less put up with her.
"Will you two shut up already? I'm tired of you constantly bickering about things that don't matter." Potter's voice rung out, sounding different, for some reason. Snape couldn't place his finger on the difference, but he was sure he would figure it out sooner or later.
Snape turned around, glaring evilly at the three. "I'd hate to admit this, but I agree with Potter. You should both pipe down about things that are so trivial." They all glared back at him, angry that Snape had been listening to their conversation. "Listen to me, all of you. Especially, you two," he pointed to Potter and Weasley. "I don't know how you two managed to get into this class, but if you make so much as a nuisance in this class, I will have you chucked out. There will be no special privileges, no matter how your summer went. I don't believe in making anyone's time easier, especially when they should have contacted someone. Am I understood?" All three students knew that Snape was specifically directing everything toward Harry. He glowered at Snape.
"Yes Professor." Weasley said quickly. Potter didn't say anything, which seemed to aggravated Snape.
"Am I to be understood, Potter?"
"Why should I answer that? Every year, you seem to irritate me to the point where I mess up or, better yet, you just humiliate me. How can I promise to be under control when you can't even control yourself?" His words stood bitterly, sending more anger throughout Snape.
"I DON'T CARE HOW ROUGH OF A SUMMER YOU HAD POTTER, BUT YOU WON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, NOT WITHOUT SEVERE PUNISHMENT!" His blood was boiling to the point where Snape wished he could have wrapped his bony fingers around Potter's neck.
The Gryffindor stared back defiantly, not saying a word. Snape turned around, walking over to his desk. He hadn't noticed that Potter had stood and was now ready to shoot back his own answer. "I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HELL I WENT THROUGH THIS SUMMER! I BET YOU WERE RATHER GLAD I WAS GETTING ABUSED!" Before either of his friends could stop him, Potter dashed from the classroom, taking his bag with him. Severus was positive that Potter had no intention of returning to the classroom that day, which brought great joy to him. 'I get to give him detention first class of the year. What a joy!' Snape was positive that he would be receiving a lecture from Dumbledore about how he treated the boy, but he didn't care. Potter wasn't going to ruin this class nor was anyone else. Seeing that it was time to start, Snape went to the front of the classroom.
"It amazes me that so many of you imbeciles made it to this N.E.W.T. Level Potions Class, but don't think that just since you've made it this far, doesn't means you'll stay. There will be no misbehaving or commotion caused, or you'll most likely be finding that this class is no longer on your schedule. Also, if you perform poorly on the first two potion of the year, you'll also be booted. Do I make myself clear?" The entire class nodded, some more timid than others. "Now, this class will begin with notes about the first potion of the year. . ."
-ooo-
Harry was literally seeing red. He was so furious that he didn't have the slightest notion of where he was going, but his legs continued to move as though they had a mind of their own. Rage soared throughout him, making his breathing labored. He stormed down the hallways, making his presence known. He was surprised no one stopped him in the halls for all the noise he was making. Snape had no right to corner Harry and Ron, accusing them of, supposedly, plotting to cause chaos. Harry continued walking until he found himself in front of the D.A.D.A classroom. Conveniently noticing that there wasn't a class inside, Harry barged in, shocking the professor greatly.
"Harry, don't you have a class?" The familiar voice asked curiously. Remus Lupin stood before the enraged Harry, wondering if something had happened in the class he was supposed to be in.
Remus had accepted Dumbledore's plead to be the D.A.D.A Professor again because of his difficulty in finding another person to take the job. Another question posed within Remus. "What happened?"
"Snape." Harry muttered, sitting down in one of the available chairs in the classroom. Remus sat down beside Harry, hoping he could possibly calm the teen down.
The words that Snape had said were vibrating through Harry, causing him to lose control. Closing his eyes tightly, he felt magic surging through him. A loud shattering noise was heard. Several moments later, he opened his eyes slowly. A large vase had shattered into several hundred small pieces. "I'm sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it." Remus said, waving his wand at the destroyed vase. It went back to its original form. "What did he say to you?"
Harry went on telling Remus about what Snape had said. More things seemed to be rattling throughout the classroom, but nothing shattered. The werewolf was dumbfounded in Severus's attitude, especially considering he knew what Harry had gone through this summer.
"Now he's going to probably give me weeks of detention and probably already taken a trillion points away from Gryffindor. Remus, I'm not going to be able to handle his attitude toward me. I'm can't and I won't." Remus could see Harry was still extremely upset. He placed a comforting hand upon Harry's shoulder.
"I'm going to talk to that greasy-haired git later. He has no right to talk that way. And if I can't straight Snivellus out, I'm sure Dumbledore will."
"Thanks." Harry placed his head down upon the table in front of him.
"No problem." He paused. "I believe that I have your class next. I guess since you've missed half of Potions, there's no point in attempting to go back now." Harry knew that Remus wanted to talk about something else, he just couldn't figure out what. Lupin wasn't easy to read like other people that he knew.
"There seems like there's something else on your mind, care to share?" Harry asked bluntly, seeing the werewolf smile.
"You're able to read people very well, a talent you most likely received from your mother." He paused, probably seeing if the mention of Harry's mother would make the Gryffindor to explode again. "I wanted to know if you and Hermione patched things up." Harry frowned. He hadn't realized that anyone had noticed the distance between the two. "After all, the first few weeks you were there, the two of you were inseparable. After that however, there seemed to be problem."
Harry didn't know where to start, or even what to say. He couldn't go with the truth because there were many problems what would result from that. "We got into an argument about something rather trivial. I suppose we'll be back on trusting terms again fairly soon. And before you ask about it, I don't want to talk about what happened between us, so please don't ask."
"I wasn't going to question you about it," Lupin said calmly, "But Harry, she's a special girl. Never have a seen anyone so dedicated to another person. The first night you arrived, all bloody and battered, Hermione kept coming down to visit me. She was so worried about you." Harry was listening closely to everything Remus was saying.
He felt guilty.
"She seems to have something for you, much more than friendship." Sending an incredulous look Remus's way, Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I'm surprised you didn't notice anything earlier. You're usually quite observant."
"I don't know what you're talking about Remus. Hermione doesn't like me that way. She's been my best friend forever and, it was probably mainly concern that she was there for me."
'She doesn't like me, she's Hermione. Just plain, old Hermione.' But even Harry couldn't lie to himself that much. He had noticed that Hermione's appearances had changed greatly over the years, giving her more of a feminine look. She had curves in all the right places and was absolutely adorable.
'What am I thinking? This is Hermione I'm talking about! MY BEST FRIEND!' He stopped thinking for a moment. 'Wait, I thought I was mad at her?'
"Harry, earth to Harry?" He snapped out of his thoughts to see Lupin staring at him oddly. "Zone out much?"
"Sorry, just got caught up in my thoughts."
"I figured that. I need to set some things up for class, so you do whatever you find suiting."
"Alright, Professor Lupin." Harry replied cheekily, receiving a sigh from his parent's best friend. Harry continued sitting in the seat he had been, trying to remember anything that would signify that Hermione liked him.
He came up with nothing.
'He's insane!' He thought quickly. 'But is he really?' A voice resembling Hermione's shot through Harry's mind, sending chills through his body. He couldn't believe it.
'HERMIONE LIKES ME!'
-ooo-
"He had no right to do that!" Hermione screamed, walking out of the dungeons at a fast pace. She was furious with all the comments that Snape had said to Harry.
Hermione didn't think that Snape could be that heartless.
"Hermione, settle down." Ron said, trying to calm the female Gryffindor. He ran to catch up with her. "I'm sure that everything will work out."
Hermione pulled Ron aside, out of the gigantic crowd of students. "Ron, I don't care if everything will be alright and will work out, Snape had no right to say those things to Harry. Harry's been through hell and back, he doesn't deserve that type of lip from anyone." She walked away quickly, ignoring Ron's pleas. He stayed there, dumbfounded.
She was still walking alone, when someone grabbed her arm, pulling her aside down an empty hallway. She figured it was Ron.
"Ron, leave me. . ." Looking up at the figure, she discovered it wasn't Ron at all. She gasped. He pushed her again the wall, holding her hands above her head.
"I believe you've got my name wrong." He hissed. His hot breath baited upon her face, making Hermione worry slightly, even though she didn't show her fear.
"What do you want?" She spat, trying to break free from his grasp, but she couldn't. He smirked, his brilliant blonde hair lying in front of his eyes.
"I know a secret." Draco said, throwing Hermione to the ground. He walked away, not looking back.
Hermione got up from the ground and ran after the Slytherin. She grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He narrowed his eyes, sending a cold look at her. "DON'T. EVER. TOUCH. ME."
"What secret are you talking about, Malfoy?" She yelled. His eyes flickered from childish hatred to something serious. There was something different about the way Malfoy was behaving. He was acting extremely mysterious.
"Stop being so ignorant to everything around you. You know what secret I'm talking about!"
"I swear if you don't tell me what you're talking about, I'll. . ."
He cut her off, "You'll what? Tell Dumbledore? Yeah, then you would have to state your purpose. I'd have to tell him what I know and you wouldn't like the outcome of that. Now, leave me alone, Granger, or I'll do something that I know I won't regret." He turned away from her, walking faster than she had ever seen Malfoy move. She sighed heavily; deciding that she would challenge Malfoy later on. Looking down at her watch, she noticed that D.A.D.A. was about to start. Sprinting down the halls, she prayed that she wouldn't be late to her next class. All she kept thinking about, however, was what Malfoy had meant.
Making it to the door seconds before the bell, she walked into the classroom, breathless.
Professor Lupin turned around, eyeing Hermione curiously. "I'm sorry, Professor."
"Don't worry about it, take you seat, Miss Granger." She nodded, walking to the open seat beside Harry. He turned his head, sending her a questioning glance. She shook her head, indicating that she didn't want to talk about it then.
She tried to pay attention during class, but everything was failing her.
All she could think about was Malfoy's cocky tone and answers. Did he know the secret she figured he was referring to? Or was he just being stupid? The likelihood of Malfoy knowing about Harry didn't seem that great, but something was telling her that he knew what Harry was doing to himself.
Whatever he happened to be thinking, Hermione knew that she wasn't going to mention anything to Harry. It seemed to be unnecessary. But yet again, if she asked Harry if Malfoy had found out, she could put her thoughts to rest.
"Miss Granger, can you repeat what I just asked?" A shocked face breezed past Hermione's face. She turned bright red with embarrassment, knowing she hadn't listened to what Lupin had asked the class.
"No, Professor." Small whispers erupted throughout the classroom. Goody-goody two-shoes Granger hadn't been paying attention?
Lupin walked over to her. "I would like for you stay after class, Miss Granger."
"Yes, sir." Hermione whispered, barely believing that she got caught not paying attention.
The remainder of class, she paid attention as much as she could, but still didn't really comprehend what Lupin was saying. After another fifteen minutes of trying to listen, Lupin dismissed the class.
"We'll wait for you in the common room." Harry said, walking near the door.
"Just go to the Great Hall, I don't know how long this'll take." Ron and Harry nodded, completely walking out of the classroom. Shame and embarrassment circulated throughout Hermione. She hated getting in trouble for any reason, especially since she prided herself on being perfect. She was so busy berating herself; she hadn't noticed that Remus was sitting beside her.
"Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong?" She jumped slightly. Turning her head to face him, she saw that his expression was normal, not angered as she had expected.
"I'm sorry, Professor. . ."
"You may call me Remus when we're not in class."
"Remus, I've got a lot of things on my mind. With what Snape said to Harry, and how Harry and I aren't on the greatest terms. Everything's a bit complicated at the moment." He nodded.
"Well, you're not going to get in trouble; I understand how everything is really complicated for you. Just try to pay attention in the future, will you? I mean, out of you three, you're the one that takes best notes. You'd never be caught up with them giving you their notes." Hermione laughed, thinking about how pathetic their notes usually were. "You're free to leave."
"Thanks Remus, I owe you."
"Don't mention it. Now I'm in need of talking to Severus about his attitude with Harry. See you later, Hermione." Hermione dashed out of the classroom and over to the Great Hall. She just couldn't wait to tell Harry about Remus facing Snape.
-ooo-
The rest of the first day went without incident. Everything seemed to have gotten better since the fiasco in Potions. No one seemed to be talking about the fact that Harry hadn't been in Potions, which seemed to be a relief to the Trio. They were sitting in the common room, going over what they had learned during Potions to catch Harry up. Even though he acted like he was diligently learning everything his two friends were telling him, he wasn't interested in learning what messed up during Potions.
He was exhausted and wanted to go up to bed.
But he needed to talk to Hermione about things and hoped that Ron would be the first of the three to go to bed.
"I can't believe that Snape didn't give you detention." Ron said, looking up from his sloppily written notes. "I thought that you'd be seeing that big nosed git every night until graduation."
Harry rolled his eyes. He hated how blunt Ron could be about everything. "Well, I just glad that Remus talked him out of being a Grade A prick." Ron flinched at how much hatred Harry had put behind his words.
"Well, I'm tired. I think that I'm going to go to bed early." The red-haired teen got off of the couch. "See you two in the morning."
"G'night Ron." Hermione mumbled, still looking through all the notes that she had taken that day. Harry stared at her closely, watching her every movement. She seemed to have a lot of uncertainty with motion.
"Hermione." Harry said, seeing her visibly jump from being caught up in her thoughts. He almost laughed if it wasn't for the fact that he still needed to talk to her. "There's something that we need to talk about." She looked up, questioning him with her glance. "It's important." She nodded, putting all of her books and notes into her school bag.
Smiling weakly, she said, "Alright, you have my full attention."
"I've been thinking about everything you've said to me. From the idea that I need to learn from my mistakes to the fact you helped me a lot when I was weak, I've come to understand that you were right. About everything. Without you, I would have never survived. The cutting and suicidal thoughts would have become too much, thus causing more problems than I would've needed." He paused, rubbing his hand over his bandaged arm. "I just want to say I'm sorry for blaming you for what I'm doing again. I also want to say that I want us to be friends again." Hermione smiled widely, flashing her perfectly straight teeth. "That's if you'll have my friendship again."
"Of course I will. I'm sorry as well, Harry. I should've listened to you, instead of just telling you what you should do."
Harry shook his head. "I needed to learn from my mistakes, I needed to. You were only trying to help and I hurt you by rejecting your thoughts. For that, I'm sorry again."
Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it; I could never truly be mad at you. You're my best friend." Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione, pulling her into a gentle embrace. It was partly gentle because his arm was throbbing with pain that evening.
"There are just so many things that are still bugging me." Hermione nodded, she knew that there were still events that were haunting Harry.
"You've got me to come talk to any time you need me."
"Thanks, 'Mione."
She yawned. "Don't mention it. Well, it's getting really late. I'm going up to bed, I suggest you do the same. Night Harry."
"G'night Hermione."
-ooo-
The moonlight was shinning through the window, casting shadows upon the teenager's body. Thoughts swirled manically throughout his confused mind. There were too many things still bothering him, making cutting still the only solution to the problems he still faced. Holding his dagger in his hand, he looked at the marred skin upon his pale arms.
"Well, no one every told me life was going to be easy." He whispered, pushing the blade against his skin. The blood surrounded the blade, bringing that familiar pain and pleasure into his system. Tears fell down his pale cheeks as he thought about everything that had happened in the past year.
So many people had ignored his pain and agony. Many hadn't thought about his emotions or thoughts.
No one cared.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. It only seemed as if his life was crumbling like aged mountains. There wasn't a solution to his problem, which was depressing for the young man. Sighing, he pulled out his wand and muttered a healing spell upon his bleeding arm. He then stashed his blade underneath his mattress. Lying his head down upon his pillow, he let his blonde hair fall into his eyes.
'Who would have ever thought that Draco Malfoy would cut? Hell, who would have ever thought the Boy-Who-Lived had the same illness as I do?'
A/N:Yes, I know, it was mushy, well kind of at least. There wasn't much violence or cutting, but I guess Harry needed a break from it all.
Answer time....
TooLazyToLogin- Wow, that was a great compliment. As you saw in this chapter, Snape has made his entrance again. With not giving Harry detention, I'm thinking the old Potion's Master cares about Harry a little more than we all think, regardless of how horrible his comments were this chapter.
tiki11- It will definitely be H/Hr, you can see small bits of it through this chapter. But it will not be an east mushy romance because of things that are happening. But since Hermione is basically Harry's lifeline, there will be a lot of interaction.
Jakia- Yup your idea in writing . It was a GREAT idea. Having the whole Draco cutter in there makes it more interesting. Two cutters, one story... this should be interesting.
Black Betty- Well I think that the chapter answered your question about Malfoy acting strange. He's got problems with cutting as well. But there are more open doors with the idea of Malfoy being a cutter. I'm sure not if he's going to try to totally warm up to Harry or Hermione for that matter, but he isn't going to be a git like he has in the past.
coolone007-2- Hmm, you just have to see. Is it Tom or is it truly Harry?? Good question. Both make for a great storyline. You could have Tom torturing Harry making him that they he's suicidal or you could have a really angsty messed up Harry.
A/N: G2G... I have bad news though, I'm computer is broken and I will not be able to get the next chapter out for a few weeks, I'm thinking at least. I'm SORRY!!!
Sweetfrv