Disclaimer: I don't want to write this because someday I will own all of SEGA!

(WARNING: May not actually someday own all of SEGA. All Sonic, Shadow, etc., belong to the afore mentioned.)

Yay! I got three reviews in one day! And better yet, all three were positive! Yipee! Double exclamation marks! Yipee!!

Anyway, only one of them told whom to interview, so I'll do that one! Yay!

Talk Show #2

Cameras On

((applause))

Announcer: Hellooooooo again, Rrrrrrrrrrrreaders! Welcome back to LonelyArtist's Talk Show, where we interogate superheroes' personal life! Today's topic: Shadow the Hedgehog! What's his origin? Where does he live? Does he have DNA? That and more on today's episode! And now, without further ado, let out a round of applause for LonelyArtist!

((applause))

Some bum walks on stage, and sits behind her desk. He's wearing similar clothing, only this time... it's a he. He puts his feet up on her desk and lowers his hand. The "applauding" dies away.

"Welcome, welcome, to LonelyArtist's Talk Show. I'm not your usual host, I'm just a big fan who bribed LonelyArtist into doing her show. And no, LonelyArtist is not tied and gagged in a stall in the men's bathroom."

The crowd murmers amongst itself.

The bum continues. "I was curtiouse enough to put her into the women's bathroom."

A blond girl in a biker outfit comes from stage right and handcuffs the guy, pushing him torwards back stage. She looks torward the audience and yells, "I'm Coke48! I'm back! Cheer for me!" One person is heard clapping. ((clap...clap...clap...clap...))

A few minutes later, LonelyArtist comes and sits behind her desk. She spits a dirty sock out of her mouth and looks torward the front. "He's like Penelope from the Amanda Show." A few people chuckle hesitantly. "That wasn't supposed to be a joke. Anyway, thanks for coming back after that first episode. I got better reviews than I thought. But seeing as Shadow isn't as sycho as my Knuckles, I can't gurauntee a strong response. Also, a few things before we bring Shadow out...

"I've had some complaints from the gay/lesbian crowd about the last episode. I'd like to say that am not, in fact, against homosexuals, in fact, I'm all for their support. I only did last weeks episode because there's been a few questionings in fanfics about Knuckles' sexual orientation. So there. Also, on a more personal note, my glasses broke today, they're taped up now, and my mom turned fifty. And now, who you've all been waiting for, Shadow the Hedgehog!"

((applause))

Shadow walks from stage right and sits on the armchair, the latter then collapsing. Shadow for a brief second goes buggeyed. He examines his waistline. L.A. smiles. "You're not getting fat Shadow, the chair leg broke after Knuckles' recent rampage." Wordlessly, Shadow nods, takes off his right shoe, sprays it with a hidden bottle of Oust and props his shoe under the missing chair leg.

The audience gasps at Shadow's lack of shoe. Shadow lifts his foot to look at it. L.A. leans over her desk to get a closer look. The cameras zoom into it. A red scar runs from the top of his foot to the space between his first two toes. L.A. goes back behind her desk and puts on a puzzled face.

"So Shadow..." Shadow looks up, seemingly startled. "My first question then is.. where'd you get that scar?"

Shadow looks down in his lap for a few seconds before answering. "I got it when I was little."

L.A. sighs. "This is the thing with the animals I interview. They don't give me straight answers. What happened?"

Shadow keeps his head down. "I wanted to see if I had blood..."

L.A. displays a look of guilt. "So... do you?"

A drop of water hits Shadow's leg, making the fur bristle. He shakes his head. When he looks up, his face is the same unfeeling face as always.

L.A. cringes slightly. She smiles weirdly and says in an attempted cheerful voice, "Hm. Anyway, that most people, Shadow, would like to know is, what exactly is your origin?"

Shadow's eyes cloud over. He is silent for a second. He speaks in a low voice, "I was created by Professor Robotnik, out of hedgehog DNA and human brain cells."

L.A. blinks. "Okay, then. Well folks, that's his origin. Now, Shadow, have you ever felt remorse for this origin, lonely without parents?" L.A. leans a little over her desk and gives him a consoling expression.

Shadow's eyes uncloud and a shiver runs down his body. He looks intently at L.A. "I do not, have not, and will not have any form of emotion. So no, I feel no remorse." A twitch...twitches...on Shadow's right shoulder.

L.A. sighs. "I'm never going to get any humor out of this guy," she mutters to herself. "Shadow, could you tell me, why don't you have any feeling?"

Shadow speaks low and clear. "I was designed to be mentally pure, thus no emotions have been programmed into me. Emotions would just get in the way of thought."

L.A. raises an eyebrow. "'...programmed into...' so are you, like, a robot or something, Shadow?"

Shadow smiles ever so slightly. "Or something."

L.A. bangs on her desk. "Augh! Explain, will you!"

Shadow's face is unfeeling once again. "I'm not a robot, but like a robot, I'm emotionless, bloodless, and was programmed by a scientist."

L.A. groans slightly. "Good enough. Alright, next question. Where is your home?"

"Planet Earth."

L.A. rolls her eyes. "Planet Earth! That's not very specific. Doesn't everybody?"

Shadow shrugs. "Well, more specifically then, I am currently living in Kansas."

L.A. looks surprised. "Kansas."

Shadow half-smiles again. "Yeah, you know, where Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz lived. 'I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too!'"

L.A. nods, impressed. "You do an excellent imression of the Wicked Witch."

"Thank you." Shadow's face is once again emotionless.

"So here's another question, Shadow, have you ever considered show business?"

"No."

"Just like that, no?" L.A. asks.

"Yes."

"You did consider show business?" L.A. asks, confused.

Shadow sighs. "I have not considered show bussiness."

"Oh." L.A. says, a bit disappointed. "So what's your current job?"

Shadow looks at her. "Rival of Sonic the Hedgehog."

"No. I mean, what's your day job, a job that pays cash?"

Shadow nods. "Oh! Yes, that. I work as a McDonald's mid-level manager."

L.A. nodded. "That's somewhat impressive!"

Shadow rubs his...fingernails...on his chest and blows on them, then admiring his reflection. "Yes, I am all powerful."

L.A. snorts. She then clears her throat and looks back at Shadow. "Alright, Shadow...you mentioned something before that you had the DNA of a hedgehog...?"

"And the brain cells of a human, yes."

"Could you delve a little deeper into that for us?"

Shadow now clears his throat. "Well...I don't know if there's much to delve into...but...I was, could you say, asexually reproducted. It was only one hedgehog's DNA, not two. The DNA came from a female, African hedgehog named Tinna. She has since died. The brain cells, came from a human male of the age of six. I think he was European, named Benno...He should now be about 30, but I have no idea if he's still...with us."

"How'd you find all this out!" L.A. asks, bewildered.

Shadow shrugs. "Made it up."

L.A. sighs. "I am now on the brink of insanity..." she whispers to the voices inside her head: Katelyn, Josh, and Niera. She sits back up. "So, now Shadow. The last question of the day. A friend of mine is inquiring: are you related to Hiei Jagonshi, a demon from the television show Yu Yu Hakusho?"

"Yes, that I am."

L.A. goes bug-eyed. She stands up from behind her desk, walks in front of it, and gets down on her knees in front of Shadow. "No..." she says softly, then louder, "Say it isn't so! I'm close to hating that show! How could you be related to Hiei!"

"I'm kidding, I'm not related to anyone!" Shadow says nervously.

L.A. stands up with a start. "I'M CONFUSED!" she roars.

Cameras Off

Cameras On

"DON'T YOU TURN OFF ON ME! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO END THE SHOW ANYWAY!" L.A. yells into a camera, her face right up to the lens. The audience is fleeing and Shadow is sneaking away. L.A. then clears her throat. "Okay, bye now, everyone! This has been LonelyArtist's Talk Show: Let's see how long the host can keep her sanity!"

Cameras Off

Ugh. That one didn't go so well. I was trying very hard to get this one done. It was all your fault people, if you hadn't told me to write more, MORE, this one might have gone better! No, I'm just kidding. It's not your fault. It's just that it is now 10:30 in the morning (pretty early for me, I'm usually not wide awake till eleven), and my glasses are still broken, so I'm doing this bare-eyed. Also, I'm under a lot of stress and... well, you know where I'm going with this. All around bad week.

So please review. And tell me who you'd like interviewed. I might be able to a combination of two, but probably not. And please, if you have a character preference, don't feel afraid to recomend some questions to ask him/her. It'll really help.

Oh and, I'm sorry about this episode. I had to tweak a few character personalities and facts. But if I hadn't, this story would be only a documentary. So yeah. Review me.

LonelyArtist, over and out.