Woohoo! Another episode, comin' atcha! I'm doing the recommendation of the first person who reviewed episode two, I think it was Marie the Hedgehog or someone. So yeah.

Sorry I took so long to write. I was at this camp. But now I'm back. So yeah.

Talk Show #3

Cameras On

((applause))

Announcer: Weeelcoome baaaaack Rrreaders! This is the third episode of LonelyArtist's Talk Show! Today's topic: Tails the Fox! How much of a genius is he? Why does he have two tails? Has he ever been to Hawaii? That and more on today's episode! And now, give a round of applause to your host, LonelyArtist!

((applause))

LonelyArtist walks on stage. She sits behind her desk and sticks a piece of bubblegum under it. She smooths back her hair and looks to the cameras. "Hey, ya'll episode number three! Yeah! A few announcements: My glasses are still broken, and there's a cricket in my computer room. And now on to business." LonelyArtist turns around in her swivel chair and clicks a button on a remote. The white wall behind her suddenly shows an enlarged photograph of Tails' face.

L.A. turns back around and shows an expression of utter stupification. "That was on the request of our little egomaniac, Tails. Oh yes, one more thing, Tails fans, you might not want to read this episode. I myself am not too fond of the little freak, so there may be a few unflattering comments. And now we bring on our 'guest of honor:' Tails..." she said despondantly I actually don't know exactly what that means, so if it means something else, don't laugh about it.

((applause))

"STOP 'APPLAUDING!'"

((chiiiirp chiiiirp))

Tails walks on in a lopsided strut. He gets to the chair, smooths back his "hair," and sits down quaintly. He smiles into the camera, and his teeth gleam.

A sweat drop appears on L.A.

"Who's messing with the animation!" she yells. "I HATE ANIME! SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH!"

"Sorry boss!" A voice from back stage yells. L.A. gets up and goes back stage. Boom Pow Ouch Screech!

"Sorry about that," L.A. says as she sits back down behind her desk. "Coke48kenshin is back." She forces a smile and turns to Tails. "So Tails, I understand you understand you'll be asked questions that you might not understand?"

Tails looks confused. "I don't understand."

L.A. smiles consolingly. "I understand."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Well, my first question is...why are you such a freak?" L.A. grins evilly.

Tears well up in Tails' eyes. "I'm not a freak..." he whimpers.

L.A. closes her eyes in frustration. "Yes you are!" she yells. "You're a little terd! I mean, come on! In SA2B, you're all: 'Well I know one thing. We all did it together!' I mean come on! You're such an idiot!"

"I am not!" Tails yells defensively. "I've got an IQ of...um...300!"

L.A. leans back in her chair. "Suuuurre ya do."

"I do!" Tails cries. Literally. He starts to cry.

L.A. rolls her eyes. She looks up at the ceiling and mutters, "What did I do to deserve this?" She looks back at Tails, who continues to sob. "Alright, terd-breath. Next question. How much of a genius are you."

Tails perks up. "I'm a suuper genius!" He beams.

"Uh-huh. Whatever. The correct answer is: 'I'm a stupid genius! I switched brains with a chimpanzee, and now he's a babbling idiot!"

Tails raised his eyebrow. "Wouldn't that mean that I'm smart, if I got a smart brain?"

L.A. groaned. "You're supposed. To be. Insulted."

"Oh," Tails blinks. "Take that back!"

"No. Okay next question. Why are you such a goody-two shoes?"

Tails smiles. "Oh, I'm only good on the outside. On the inside, I'm an evil maniac, trying to kill Knuckles---"

"You can't kill my Knuckles!" L.A. interrupted.

"Um, okay..." Tails says. "You were supposed to be scared and beg for mercy but, um...You wanna see how well I can curse!" He asks enthusiastically.

L.A. blinks. "Um, no...That's oka--"

"You ((beep)) ((beep)) hole! I hope you ((beep)) a ((beep)) ((beep))! ((beep)) you!" Tails raises his hand, which is then blacked out by the cencors.

L.A. gets up and slaps him across the face. "Bad Tails! Swearing is bad! Don't use those words!" Coke48kenshin runs in and hands L.A. a bar of soap, then runs off. L.A. shoves the bar of soap in Tails' mouth. "Bad boy!" she screams.

L.A. storms back to her desk and sits down. She looks at the audience and says, "And if any of you swear like that, you're punishment won't be that bad, it'll be much worse!"

Half the audience quietly leaves.

"Fine! Go swear where I can't hear you! I'll find you all!" L.A. screams.

Tails spits the bar of soap on the floor. He coughs three times and says. "Um...I know where you can get a great deal on a straight jacket. And I've got a coupon, too! You want the coupon, ma'am?" Tails asks sweetly.

L.A. swivels around to look at Tails darkly in the eye. Tails lets out a muffled shriek. But she only nods and says, "Yeah, give it to me. I might need it." Tails hesitantly hands her the coupon. L.A. pockets it quietly. "Okay next question," she says kind of quietly. "Why do you have two tails."

Tails speaks slowly and calmly. "Actually, I wasn't born with two tails. When my father died, I had his tail stitched on with plastic surgery. That way I can remember him."

L.A. looks down. A drop of water falls on her pant leg. Tails frowns. "What's wrong LonelyArtist?"

L.A. shakes her head. She says in a kind of bubbly voice. "Nothing. I just--I just know how you feel. My dad died, too." The audience ohs.

Tails nods. "May I pat your hand?"

Still looking down, L.A. is silent for a while. Then she says, "Yeah."

Tails reaches over and pats her hand. L.A. shoots her head up. Her teeth froth. "Don't touch me you little cretin!"

Tails draws back. "But you said--"

"Well I changed my mind!" L.A.'s eyes grow red. She stands up and her chair topples over. "Next question!" Tails nods slowly. "What kind of weapons of self defense are you carrying!" She roars.

"N-nothing!" Tails says quickly.

L.A. smiles and rubs her hands together. "Peeeerrrrfect..." she laughs slightly.

Coke48kenshin comes on stage, grabs L.A.'s shoulders and steers off stage. On her way out she pulls the coupon out of her pocket. The audience hears L.A.'s hysterical laughter as she leaves, until the opening and closing of a door is heard, and the laughter dies away.

Coke48kenshin comes back seven minutes later and sits at L.A.'s desk. She turns to the audience and says, "Yeah. Swearing in front of LonelyArtist, not a good thing. She'll be taking the rest of the show off tonight, so I'll be taking over. We have time for..." Coke48 looks at her wrist (which had a wristwatch). "...two more quetions. So Tails," she said, turning to Tails, "I hate you almost as much as LoneyArtist does, but anyway. Some gamers would like to know: Have you ever been to Hawaii?"

Tails looks smug. "I used to live there."

Coke48 looks sceptical. "Really? Can you prove it?"

"Do you have a ukulele?"

Coke48 scrunches up her eyebrows. She then pulls a drawer out of L.A.'s desk, and pulls out a ukulele. "I thought she might have one somewhere..."

Tails takes the ukulele and strums the strings for a minute. Then he begins to play and sing. "Let's talk dirty in Hawaiin, it's the---"

"Yeah okay, enough, enough," Coke48 waves to be quiet. Tails sets the ukulele on the floor. "That answers that question. Last question of the day now...What's your favorite food?"

"I like suugar."

"Um...Can you give me something specific?"

"I like suugar..."

"Specific, Tails."

Tails blinked. "I like suuugar..." He explained.

"Alright, that's good enough for me!" Coke48 exclaims. "I've gotta see LonelyArtist before visiting hours are over. This has been LonelyArtist's talk show: Let's see how soon the replacement comes!"

Cameras Off

Yep. So that was my show. I hope you liked it. I didn't. So yeah. The first alien, humanoid, or god to review this gets to decide the next topic. Bye ya'll!