It's next time! And this chapter is going to contain hilarity! As always. Tada! Woo! Woo! Hurrah! And starting now, there will be multiple plans in the chapters because they're too short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It's as simple as that. Or the Beatles, or 'A Spoonful of Sugar'.

Since both plan A and plan B had failed, it was time for plan C!

What's plan C, you ask? Hit Sora With an Anvil. Hey, just because it never works in that cartoon with the Coyote, doesn't mean it won't work for me. I have opposable thumbs.

After creating an elaborate plan involving six chickens, some rope, a burger, and, of course, an anvil. Don't ask me how they all tied together. I don't remember. It wasn't the most simple plan...

So I lay in wait for that nerd to walk by my trap. And, like clockwork, Sora came walking down the beach.

He spotted me, and called, "Hey, Riku!"

I sneered, which he must have taken for a smile, the simpleton. He came running over. I tugged on the end of the rope.

Nothing happened.

"What's that rope for, Riku?" asked Sora, that stupid grin on his face. If he had known, he probably would have kept grinning.

I tugged again.

Still nothing.

I was getting angry. So I tugged, and tugged, and tugged, and STILL nothing happened.

"Riku," said Sora, "You look kind of angry."

That was the last straw. I dropped the rope, grabbed Sora by the collar, and started screaming in his face.

"OF COURSE I'M ANGRY, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled. "YOU'RE THE HERO OF THIS STUPID GAME! WHY NOT ME! I LOOK WAY COOLER THAN YOU! AND WHEN I FINALLY GET THE POWER I DESERVE, YOU HAVE TO COME WALTZING IN AND SCREWING EVERYTHING UP!"

Sora looked like he was about to freak out. "What's your problem?" he asked, trying to get me to let go of him.

I responded with the utmost calmness. "You, you big fat loser, are my problem."

Sora had a blank look on his face. "I don't get you, Riku. You make no sense." I let go. He walked off.

I was left staring after him, my mouth hanging open. What the heck? Not only was this kid a loser, but he was an idiot!

It was then that I decided that to get rid of Sora, I would have to take drastic actions. More drastic than I had been, anyway.

And so came plan F! By skipping plan D, I had just kicked the danger level up a notch!

Plan D involved a flying monkey, a music box, the Beatles CD, and banana pudding. Why the pudding, you ask? Well, from personal experience, I know for a fact that Sora is unhealthily obsessed with any kind of pudding.

So, after setting up the intricately ingenious trap, I climbed up a tree and started to play a harmonica. Yes, I can play the harmonica. I know, I know, amazing. I know you're thinking, 'Wow, a guy with good looks AND musical talent!'

And, just like I thought, Sora came walking along, charmed by the sound of his favorite song, 'A Spoonful of Sugar'. Why he likes that song? I have no idea. I don't really think I WANT to know.

"Wow!" said Sora, looking at the pudding I had placed under the tree. "Pudding! I love pudding!"

Smiling, I pulled the rope that release the flying monkey. And, as far as I know, it worked. But for some reason, the flying monkey didn't take his squeaky-hammer and maul Sora like I had planned.

Instead, he came after me.

Sora sat there, the totally oblivious idiot he is, while I fell out of the tree, trying to skewer the stupid monkey with a sharp stick. Hey, it was the only thing I could find!

"Mmmmmm!" I heard him saying, while I was stabbing at the monkey. "I LOVE me a good pudding!" Then he stood up and walked away.

So now I had a broken arm, several bruises, and a fear of monkeys, and Sora had nothing but free pudding! How was I supposed to know that the sound of 'A Spoonful of Sugar' played on a harmonica angered flying monkeys! Talk about oddly specific.

I was left to myself to devise another, greater plan!

Rain: Sorry, folks, but that's where I leave off for now. I have lots of other stories to finish! Quick, quick, quick!

Riku: Oh, so now I get mauled by a monkey!

Sora: I get pudding!

Riku: Of COURSE you get pudding, you loser!

Rain: Hey, I though I used the duct-tape on you!

Riku: Yeah, thanks, now my mouth is all sticky!

Sora: Mine is full of PUDDING!

Rain: Uh...yeah. Review! That's the only thing that keeps this story going! I love the reviewers!

Sora: Me too! I love you, reviewers!

Riku: And I'm sure they love SORA!