The Long and Winding Road

Chapter Five

DISCLAIMER: If I didn't own them in the last chapter, which was posted thirty second ago, how do you expect me to own them now?

"…I'm terribly sorry, Dick. I wish I could have given you better news."

Sorry, she said. 'Sorry' didn't make me any better, and didn't prevent the worry and anguish I knew wouldn't be too far off.

I sat there numbly for a moment, trying to come to terms with what I had just learned. Then I asked quietly, "How much longer?"

"I'd give you… six weeks. Seven at most."

"And there's nothing you can do."

"Believe me, Dick. If there was, I would have done it already." She placed a consoling hand on my shoulder and asked gently, "Do you want me to tell them for you?"

Heck NO!

"No thanks. I can do it myself."

When I was good and ready, that is. Which wouldn't be for as long as I could possibly procrastinate the unhappy task of telling everybody the bad news.

Walking over to her desk, the doctor wrote down a few phone numbers on a Post-It Note and handed it to me.

"These are the numbers of those people I told you about—they'll help you prepare for…" She sighed and said sympathetically, "I wish there was something I could do. But it seems as if all I can do is offer you my condolences. Please, feel free to call me if you need anything."

A pause as she gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"I know how hard this going to be on you, Dick."

No, you don't. Nobody does. You have no idea that Bruce is about to head to Europe to finally get better while I'm…

"Yeah."

I shrugged into my jacket and headed out the door into the cool mid-November air.

To think, that just a few short hours ago, I was the happiest person on Earth. Now, I was still very happy for Bruce, but was also quite caught up in feeling sorry for myself. Call me selfish, but you'd be feeling pretty low if you just found out your whole life was about to be turned upside-down for the fourth time in five months—first when Tracie came, then when she left, then Bruce's blindness and now this. I was beginning to feel like I was cursed or something.

It's amazing how quickly your life can change, isn't it? You're just minding your own business, then all of a sudden, bam! Everything's messed up forever. You'd think I was used to that feeling because it had happened so often, but that is the kind of thing that you just can't get accustomed to and—

—And Alfred would definitely suspect something if he caught me hanging around a doctor's office.

I made my way towards the opposite side of the city to wait for him to pick me up at the designated spot. I couldn't wait to get home and just curl up under the covers, to hide from the world and all of its cruelties. Maybe even stay there forever.

Everything was supposed to be perfect. Bruce was supposed to be back in time for Christmas. Sure, he might brood a bit more than usual since Christmas was around the time when he and Tracie were supposed to wed. But we were all going to be together again. Whatever happened to living happily ever after, like in those stories that your parents read to you when you're a kid? The bad guys get their just deserts, the boy gets the girl, and everybody lives happily ever after. The end.

I continued to walk against the wind, not minding the cold that nipped at my nose and ears. They'd probably be bright red by the time I got to the rendezvous point, but I didn't care. Everyone's lives were about to be messed up for good, and it was my fault once again. There would be no miracles waiting around the corner to save us this time.

This was the end of life as it had been, the way we liked it. Nobody even knew it except me, but this chapter of our lives was about to end tragically.

And it was my fault.

I didn't know exactly how it was my fault, but I was sure it was. Wasn't I the one who was sick? I must have done something…

There was Alfred. I got into the car and buckled my seatbelt. Then he commented that I should have worn a hat to prevent the redness of my ears. Funny how some things never change, no matter how bad life gets.

Like I had promised myself on the walk home, I headed straight up to my room, turned off the light and just hid under my covers. I made sure the door was locked, too. No sense in letting Alfred see I was miserable. He'd worry, then I'd worry, and the last thing I needed was more worry on top of worry.

There was a knock on the door. Alfred told me to come down for dinner, and I rather grouchily responded that I wasn't hungry.

"Nevertheless, Master Dick, you must keep your strength up. Or would you rather have Master Bruce recover his sight and see you looking the way you did this past August?"

I brought to mind that day back at the beach house when I had taken off my shirt while finishing up the packing process. Then, when I looked in the mirror… well, I'd rather forget it, actually.

"I'm coming."

I could tell that Alfred was pleased just by the way his footsteps echoed in the hallway. At least someone was happy.

So, despite my lack of appetite, I came downstairs and wandered into the kitchen. I preferred eating in there—the dining room was extremely large, and it made me feel extremely small. Which wasn't necessary since I was already small. I didn't need any encouragement.

I must have looked depressed because the next thing I knew, Alfred was asking me why I was so miserable.

"It's nothing," was the only answer I could give him.

From then on, I knew that I'd have to be very careful how I acted around him. He was expecting me to be overjoyed because Bruce was going to see again by the holiday season. And I was overjoyed—for him. But it was going to be awfully hard to let my gladness show through the depression that was slowly consuming my thoughts.

Luckily, the press didn't know about this latest development. If they ever got hold of the fact that Bruce's sight was going to be recovered, I'd have to be cheerful in front of everyone. I didn't think I was capable of that.

Me: And that's it until after Christmas, people! Happy Holidays, everybody!

Dick: Hey, TAP.

Me: What.

Dick (sing-songy voice): I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!

Me: That's okay. I can wait until tomorrow... TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!

Dick: Oh, no, I won't!

Me: Oh yes you will!

(They chase each other around the room for a very long time... Happy Holidays!)